This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!

Pink hair. Pink eyes. Pink dresses and lustrous pink lips. A person that looked like princess straight out of a fairy tale was now faced by a city from grim-dark fantasy.

A large city of blood and stones, dry wind under the red skies and black soil filling every nook and cranny of the ground. Even amongst all this, prosperity did not lack as demons of all kinds moved about in the vast city that housed the head of the second ranked demon, Agares.

Strangely enough, no one had batted an eye even when they faced the woman that was completely out of place here, that was likely due to her eyes that screamed murder.

Heaving a sigh, Irina Lester shook her head and started scouring the streets, two horns extending from her head.

Unlike others, Irina was a rare type of combatant, a sorcerer. Just like the platinum ranked adventurer Sorcerer of the Swamps, she could use something that was different from Magic and Ki, something that allowed her to bend the laws of nature to some extent.

From turning beings into frogs to making buildings hop, from making rocks toot horns to turning words into pictures, imagination could be brought to reality with sorcery.

"Quack quack.."

"Quack!?"

Irina was annoyed.

Not only had that bastard of a student gone to hell, but he had even dragged someone else with him. Nonetheless, Eugene Hall was still her student and the only reason she had dived into hell with her colleagues was to save the students.

"That said… it looks like I'll be alone for now."

Finding her colleagues was like chasing wild geese. Her student, should probably be around Agares.

Irina Lester.

A professor of field battles.

She always found the order incorrect.

Professor of battlefields. That felt better.

A nasty grin spread over Irina's face, betraying the image of a fairy tale princess to the degree that would crush toddlers' dreams.

Rubbing her hands, Irina moved toward the sewers.

"If I am going to fight a war, I better prepare well."

Poisoning all the water in the city. Now that, sounded fun.

***

-BAM!

-THWACK!

Loud crashes spread through the skies. One after another, bangs resounded.

Still around the Dragon Blood tree, the bike kept crashing over and over.

This was the result of Noa trying to ride the motorcycle. It's skull frame was dirtied and the tyres creaked.

"Just stop already, we have to leave."

"Once more, alright? Let me try once more."

Dusting off the dirt that had stuck to her, Noa stood up and sat on the motorcycle yet again. She could balance it well enough to keep it straight without her legs touching the ground. But as soon as the she turned the accelerators.

—VRRRM

"GAH!"

She would panic and fall off.

This time, she jumped off and fell to the ground while the bike traveled further ahead and crashed to the ground. The demons all around watched us in fear and skepticism, as if looking at a troupe of weirdos.

Sighing, I walked over to Noa and gave her a hand.

"You're useless," I said. "No more of this."

"Fucking bastard, why don't you teach me, won't that be faster?"

Oh, that was true. I had learned from someone else myself.

"Great idea," I said, leaving Noa's hand. She fell back down, but who cared. I rushed over to the bike and pulled it up. "You sit first and I'll guide—"

My jaw dropped.

Noa walked over behind me and looked at the bike.

"What's up?" She said.

"T-t-the stone…"

"Hm?"

"The stone is broken!!"

It was broken. It was completely destroyed!

"W-what do we do now?" Noa asked.

I tried to kick the motorcycle to a start, but nothing worked. The bike was gone, it was broken. We had to replace that fucking stone somehow. Running over ourselves was a choice for sure, but not only would we be susceptible to being found out, it would also be tiring since we were planning to fight all of Dantalian's vessels.

It was just too far to run to.

"L-let's ask one of the other demons around," I said and looked around the tree. But surprisingly, no one was around.

"Hm?"

I narrowed my gaze and swept it to the side.

The wind picked up.

The stones around us trembled while the ground slowly started to shake.

Ashy.

The skies were turning ashy.

From deep in the east.

"Noa… we might have to run."

"Huh? Oh—"

A sandstorm, stretching kilometers high and wide was approaching.

It would have been fine if it was just the storm.

But within it, were dozens of sharp stones that had broken up from the ground swirling about like some furious shiv spaghetti.

"RUN!" Noa yelped and dashed off.

"Bitch! The motorcycle!"

"Bring it along!"

I kicked the bike up and straddled it on my shoulders. My horse riding lessons were practical after all! With that settled, I and Noa shot off the ground and rushed toward the buildings that were separated from the tree.

It was only now I had realized, that due to there being nothing but barren lands all over hell, everything that seemed to be close was always miles apart.

"Is that thing getting faster? It's getting faster! Run Eugene Hall!"

"Damn it!!!"

***

"Quack… quack…?"

"Haaa… haaaa…"

Loud pants spread through the reception as Noa and I stepped inside the closest inn at the Dragon Blood Tree. The walls were made of a monster's hide and so, the sandstorm outside was completely useless against this place. Of course it wouldn't have lasted if the sandstorm came right into the place, but the giant tree was holding it off for us.

I guess I understood why they made these buildings so far away.

"Hey, bitch," Noa said to the demon at the reception. "Don't you get it? We're deaf. Give us two rooms."

They had an indoor parking. There was no other vehicle at the place so we weren't out of trouble, but it seemed there was some hope.

Noa smacked the money she had just taken from other demons and demanded two rooms.

Trembling, the demon shook her head.

"Huh! Rooms! What do you not get?"

The demon pulled out a key and tapped it repeatedly.

"Quack! Quack Quack!!"

She held one finger up.

"I get it! Eugy, Noa-girl!"

Both of us stopped and looked at Titania.

"I guess there's only one room!"

"Quack!!"

"Do you mind?"

"It's fine by me, Eugene Hall."

Great! She was going to sleep on the floor!