The Villainess and I, her Zombie

"Hey there, mister dad, I'll leave things in your care now, alright?"

As soon as the blue undead strayed from the path that the lumberjacks used for transporting the lumber, he raised his hand and spoke to the nearest tree.

"Zombie, you're way fucking earlier than I expected? Everythings alright or did some fuckers cause you more problems than expected?"

The air between the branches of that tree cron wobbled and the illusion dropped, revealing the long-haired elf looking around thirty years old for human standards which meant that he was literally ancient when it came to how the elves aged.

"How's Cranberry been doing? Is she giving any of you a hard time?"

The blue undead asked with a soft smile.

"Hard time?"

Olive gasped and jumped off the tree with a shocked expression.

"Our Cranberry? Are you fucking kidding me? She didn't quite hit the fucking rebellious stage of her puberty, thank the fucking system. Don't tell her that but I fucking cried when she called me dad when you two got back from that whole first kill party."

The old elf waved his hand dismissively and smiled like a proud parent.

"You don't have to worry about a thing, the worst thing that happened until now was her throwing a fit because you didn't show up a fucking week ago even though you promised her. Aren't you a quite fucking unruly familiar, kiddo?"

Olive asked, nodding at the undead with a curious look in his eyes.

"You know just as well as I do that I can't take her with me, especially not with this whole business with the Envy family going on."

Zombie shrugged his shoulders and looked back at the smiling elven guardian.

"Think of it that way – if I succeed, you, Mirabelle, and Cranberry will be able to safely go on a family trip out of the village without worrying about getting abducted by the main branch of the Envy family. I think that it would be worth bearing with some inconveniences."

He shrugged his shoulders and laughed casually.

"Hey, the only thing I am fucking worried about is that you are trying to bear too much burden on your own two shoulders. We all have been fucking hiding for hundreds of years, a few more will not make that much of a fucking difference, you know?"

Olive put his hand on Zombie's shoulder and assured him.

"Cranberry isn't the only one Mirabelle and I are worried about, you little fuck."

He added with a laugh.

"So you say but I can't help but notice that neither one of you curses around Cranberry – or at least you try not to - but don't hold back when I'm around."

Zombie smirked back and pointed out.

"That's because fucking cursing is okay with us elves only because it a fucking defense mechanism to stop annoying people from approaching us because of our beauty – that's all good and all but, for fuck's sake, Cranberry is a human and a noble too – it would look bad if she would start cursing like an elf because of the bad example we're giving her. As for you - well, I doubt anyone can change the way you are."

Olive confessed with a slight embarrassment.

"Huh? Even though there's a saying that the elf that doesn't curse can't be trusted?"

Zombie raised his brows and asked.

"Oh, who fucking cares, Cranberry is ours and we can't sabotage her future amongst humans like that. Actually, you will find out that the entire village stopped cursing, at least when she is around, just to not inconvenience her."

The old elf proudly puffed out his chest, clearly boasting that his human daughter was accepted and cared for by the entire community of the hidden village.

"Oh? Everyone? Even Gooseberry?"

Zombie's brows shot up even higher as he asked in shock.

"He he...! She melted even his fucking heart – it finally happened around two weeks ago, Cranberry and Cranbie were training together and Gooseberry came fucking by to bring his son some refreshments and actually had a fucking portion prepared just for Cranberry too – and he called her a snot-nosed kid instead of a fucking human brat.

"Oh-ho! What a change of heart!"

Zombie laughed and nodded his head.

"Alright. That needs to be enough chit-chat, for now, kiddo – those fuckers are coming."

*click*

Olive raised his hand and stopped Zombie from talking with a serious expression and snapped his fingers, making a small ball of light appear in front of him.

"I'll go ahead and make sure that they fucking think that you are going straight for the Greeds territory – I don't want to sound that rude, but I don't have a need for you to fuck around while I work, follow this and it will lead you straight to the village. Go."

The old elf patted the blue undead's shoulder and moved past him without looking back.

"Ah. Sure. Thanks for going along with my schemes."

Zombie nodded and started chasing after the light ball, leaving the elf behind.

…

…...

"ZOMBIE!"

The moment that the blue undead stepped through the gate to the hidden elven village, a dark-red blur rushed at him with amazing speed and jumped into his arms.

"Whoa...! Who do we have here...?!"

Zombie gasped with a laugh, accepting the hug and gently hugging back the eleven years old red-haired girl.

"Why didn't you come back earlier!? I only agreed to stay behind because you promised me that you will visit regularly! Liar!"

But even though she was still blushing, the little girl began complaining immediately – though she hugged her undead familiar even tighter as if she expected that he will try to push her away.

"A lot of nasty things happen, I have to set up a lot of things for the future – how is your training going? If you really wish to accompany me you remember what's my requirement, don't you?"

Zombie raised Cranberry up, and she ended up wrapping her legs around his waist too like a tiny koala bear clinging to their mother, which prompted the blue undead to laugh and start patting her head.

"I remember, and I will get there! But it's unfair if I'm the only one keeping my end of the deal while you do whatever you want!"

Cranberry complained and pouted, burrowing her face against Zombie's collarbone.

"Well... You know, if we would go out looking like this people would think that I kidnapped you and would try to attack me..."

|...and without Pati's guidance, I would eventually end up killing some essential character.|

He said and finished his sentence only in his head.

"You grew up too fast! That's not fair! I'm older than you!"

Cranberry scoffed and murmured all grumpy.

"Only physically and only by a month."

Zombie pointed out, rolling his eyes.

"A month and a half! This size difference is unfair!"

The red-haired girl complained back.

"But I'm a monster, you know? I think it's a quite nice exchange – right now you are already what, level 40, while I'm barely level 5 on my second rank up – if you look at it like that, you have it better – I wasted twenty levels of experience because of my first rank up. See? I simply got recompensed in another way. Though I would prefer to be stronger."

...was a convenient lie that Zombie came up with a while ago to appease the grumpiness of the young noble lady, and he repeated it once again.

"...stupid, I'm not talking about strength... you are too big now..."

"...?'

Cranberry murmured very quietly and fidgetted in Zombie's arms, but when he looked at her, he could only see the right red tips of her ears poking through the dark-red hair, which left him very confused.