The Villainess and I, her Zombie

*SLAM*

"WHAT'S UP YOU LAZY WEAKLINGS?! GUESS WHO WORKED HIMSELF TO DEATH AND IS BACK FOR MORE!?"

The door to the adventurer's guild was kicked open so heard they got stuck in the walls on both sides, and a blue undead walked in with his hands up as if he was a least a messiah descending from the heavens to save the world.

"!!!!!!!!"

A monster waltzing in the building full of contracted monster hunters ended as one would expect it would – with everyone instantly reaching for their weapons and attacking.

...which made the undead grin so wide that his face looked as if it split apart...

…

…...

"Whew, that was a nice training – thanks, everyone! My close combat skill got to level 2 – and it's all because of your contribution!"

Zombie declared in a grateful voice as he took out a handkerchief and started wiping off the blood from his hands and elbows.

"I picked this skill a while ago hoping that it would allow me for not lethal takedowns and as you could feel on your own skin, that was a great success!"

He added looking around at all the knocked-out and or groaning adventurers amongst which broken bones were the minimum damage received.

"..."

He suddenly flinched and glared at one of the staff members – a female human aiming at him with a glowing scepter.

"Shoot that spell out and I will reflect it straight to your face."

He growled and scoffed before grabbing a collar of his shirt and pulling it up showing a flimsy adventurer badge.

"It's me, Zombie – now also literal zombie, or rather an undead squire – Bananananana should have told you that I will come by today."

"EH...?! N-no way, so when guild master said that a real monster will come by she meant...?!"

The woman gasped and the light of the skill faded away even though she didn't put the scepter down.

"A real real monster. Not a monster-like human. How did you all like the little free lesson I gave those slackers that call themselves adventurers? Geez, no wonder that Banananananananananaana was complaining that this branch is listed as dead last in the strength ranking of the entire territory!"

The undead youngster laughed and waved his hand dismissively.

"Do you have everything prepared?"

He walked over to the counter – at which he leaned down and put his elbow on and rested his chin on his hand – and winked at the female staff member while his eyes shone with a pale-blue light, causing the woman to turn bright red and start fidgetting.

"O-of course we do! I'll bring it right away!"

She responded hurriedly and rushed to the back in such a hurry that she even activated a speed-increasing skill.

"Khahaha!"

Zombie laughed, watching her run and turn back, leaning against the counter, and took in the sight of the carnage that he left in his wake – that day was bound to give the town healers a months-worth of income!

...but will this be enough...?

Zombie's mouth did not stop smiling but his eyes turned cold.

The plan that he and Banana conceived was rather simple – make as much ruckus as possible so that the Envys' spy or spies will have no other choice but to pay attention to him, grab the fake documents with the supposed hard evidence about Envys non-specific secret – and make it seem like he was leaving the territory with them, sending the spies on the wild goose chase, maybe even make such a big deal out of it than most of the main family members will be deployed to action, leaving the Envys mansion at the territory's capital less guarded, while also giving Banana some room to breathe.

…

Honestly, without a ridiculously high level of leadership skill, there was no way that Banana would have agreed to take part in such a ridiculous plan with a laughably low probability of success.

Maybe the funniest part was that that Zombie did not care whether that plan would work out or not – because the only reason he actually interacted with the guild master in the first place was so that she would become a convenient scapegoat when he will accomplish his real plan – breaking into the Envys mansion and collecting the physical remnant of the spirit god Saint.

Yes.

With more than six months of Patience going radio silent, Zombie couldn't just sit on his butt and do nothing.

The knowledge he had was that of the events of the main game – that would begin only in a couple of years – he had no idea what kind of quests were required for the secret true ending that he was aiming for – well, no idea except for the detail that Patience let slip a while ago.

The optional quests required for the secret true ending all involved the seven capture target after they inherit the titles of avatars of sin, as well as the monsters known as remnants of gods.

What exactly was the part that the remnants were supposed to play out – Zombie did not know.

What he knew was that there was a perfectly good remnant of Saint in the basement of the Envys mansion – since Patience confirmed that with him in one of their previous conversations, and if the only difference with the first playthrough was that the remnant was there in place of the actual Saint, that would mean that the remnant will be extremely weak and more than prone to getting captured by the blue undead.

In the first playthrough, 'freeing' Saint was accompanied by the destruction of the main branch of the Envy family – but that obviously could not happen since in Zombie's mind there were memories of the events connected with Mason, the half-elf capture target from the Envy family, and in none of them his family was dead – disgraced, yes, but not dead.

Actually, the more the blue undead thought about it, the more it seemed that freeing the elves and revealing to the world that the main branch of the Envy family was actually kidnapping the members of their race to steal their beauty was the proper course for the story to follow, so what he was going to do was simply setting up Mason's backstory and nothing more.

"..."

Zombie glanced back but the female staff member was not back yet.

Of course, there was another possibility – and that was that with each action he takes, he stirs up the seal of the Eternal and the overpowered monster will be unleashed upon the world at any moment...

It was really disturbing, though, at the same time doing nothing could lead to the exact same outcome too.

|I miss Pati.|

"..."

Zombie thought to himself and felt Kopia vibrate in her sheath reassuringly.

About the sealed overseer – when Zombie focused really heard, he could feel something akin to the presence inside of him that he could only associate with her – so it wasn't like she disappeared, but instead, it seemed like she was asleep for some reason... or maybe her seal suddenly got stronger and she was unable to contact him even if she wanted...?

"Haa..."

The blue undead sighed and the smile disappeared from his face.

At the end of the day, he could only make sure that the events in this playthrough would be set up to match the ones he had the memories of while he would continue doing his best to prepare for the secret quests that would allow unlocking the secret true ending.

And if he will have to throw some unimportant fruit-named character like Banana under the bus to accomplish that – well, who cares....?