The Villainess and I, her Zombie

The Dandelions helped out the supposed dwarf with gathering any monster parts that would sell for something, - as for the copious amount of blood, it was all washed away by the joint effort of Lairs and In're and their water-based magic attacks.

Such actions weren't strange in the least and were just a natural part of hunting monsters – the less blood and scraps of meat was left to rot on the scene the better – a proper clean-up reduced the risk of luring stronger monsters to basically zero.

"Good work. I'll throw in some useful advice for surviving in this awful territory as a bonus."

Zombie smirked with satisfaction, looking at the neat packages full of fresh merchandise ready to be carried and sold off to the nearest guild, trader, blacksmith, or tailor.

"People of Envy territory are the most cunning people you will probably meet in your lives – not because they are genetically different than others, mind you, but because every single law in here is rigged against them and if they are not fucking someone over that inevitably means that they are the ones getting fucked. Not in a good way."

The young boy posing as a banished dwarf began explaining while distributing the packages to carry to the five adventurers while making a conscious decision to not carry anything himself.

|Not in a good way? Pervert.|

|Hey, you were the one who told me that dwarves are usually crude – I'm only playing my part.|

Patience and Zombie had a quick exchange in Zombie's head before the boy continued.

"You lot have a good team composition, your gear is properly maintained, and you clearly have good teamwork and like each other – those are the obvious signs that you are not from this territory. Frankly, aside from you -"

The boy continued stopping only for a moment to point at the rat-faced Shanks.

"- you all look like some kindhearted fools that will share their money willingly if some pitiful looking scammer just limped your way and reached out their trembling hand. Especially you Marshmallow – you better not talk to any strangers at all."

Zombie turned to the towering woman and shook his head at her.

"...I don't think that helping others in need is a wrong thing to do..."

Uresha lowered her head and started fidgeting while dodging making eye contact.

"See? You are trying to defend a hypothetical scammer!"

He rolled his eyes and glared back at the rat-faced man.

"Shiv, from now on it's your duty to get Marshmallow away from any strangers while you are in the Envy's territory. Grab her hand and don't let her wander off and waste money and goodwill on some scum."

Zombie demanded and Shanks actually stepped in and grabbed Uresha's hand before he himself realized what he was doing.

/proficiency level reached

skill level up

leadership (level 5)

|Leadership leveled up? Huh? So what, are those guys my replacement for the chickens now?|

Zombie scoffed internally, looking at the system message that popped up as soon as the rat-faced man listened to his command.

|Give him a break, Shanks is under the weakening seal of the Sloth family, his stats are really bad and... actually, aside from Lairs and In're the other three Dandelions have really poor MDF, and since leadership is a passive skill it's no wonder that they are affected by it to some degree.|

Patience hurried with an explanation while both the tank and the thief of the Dandelions adventuring party turned completely red from the sudden embarrassment as if they were just some school-kids during their very first date.

"This dwarf guy is incredible...! It's been less than an hour and he caused Shanks and Uresha to make more progress than they did themselves in the past ten years...!"

In're pulled both Rotte and Lairs close and whispered to them with eyes glowing from the excitement.

"But that is exactly why he's fucking suspicious! Why the fuck is he doing that? Besides, he himself said that we shouldn't fucking trust anyone from the fucking Envys' territory..."

Laris furrowed her brows and scoffed.

"And what's wrong with that advice...?"

Rotte raised his brows and asked dumbfounded.

"That we are in the fucking Envys' territory and he is one of the fucking people from the Envy territory! He even said that the people from here are fucking scummy because the environment they live in is the fucking worst – but that means that even though he's a dwarf he still is a fucking scumbag too because he lives here!"

Lairs complained glancing angrily at the supposed dwarf at the head of the group already ready to leave.

"Yo! Lairs! I'm here just for a few months so I didn't soaked in the scammer juices, so let me give you another piece of advice. Your conspicuous whisper is louder than your normal voice you know? Good thing that Shiv's in charge of stealth, you just stick to magic. Now, let's get going."

"Fuck...!"

Zombie glanced at the three huddled together and sighed, shaking his head in disappointment before raising his hand and waving forward to signal the departure while the potty-mouthed mage cursed loudly and blushed in shame from being called out like that.

"Umm... mister dwarf, we were technically ordered to check the area for the unusual monster activity and..."

"And you did, a group of goblins lead by two hobgoblins was growing in strength, but since their remnants are safely stored on your back, I would say that this mission of yours is completed."

Shanks raised his hand to voice the slight problem with just walking away, but it was simply shrugged at by the boy in the barrel-like armor.

"O-oh, yes, I guess in that case, we can just go with you."

The rat-faced man backed off and returned to Uresha's side.

|You could use this chance to introduce yourself, you know? Mister dwarf?|

Patience asked and mocked the boy but got no reaction whatsoever, not even a flinch or a bat of an eye.

|H-hey, I was just kidding, okay...?|

Not even a full thirty seconds later the sealed overseer seemed worried about the silence...

"..."

But nothing could get to the boy whose attention got focused on a small throwing knife attached to one of the straps on Shank's leather vest.

|Ah...! I see how it is... Ignoring me and thinking only about your pet...! Hmph!|

Patience realized what was going on and scoffed, sounding as if they turned away.

"Say, Shiv, can you show me that?"

Zombie, completely unperturbed by Patience's behavior reached out his hand, pointing at the small partially concealed weapon.

"Oh? Sure, it's just something I bought it as a just-in-case spare weapon, but it's actually too light, too flimsy, and inappropriately balanced to be of any other use than just a letter opener."

The rat-faced man laughed awkwardly and put up an excuse before taking out the tiny throwing blade shaped like a knife and handing it to the boy.

|Any other use, he says... that clearly is just a letter opener... Buying this as a weapon... this guy might be just as naive as his girlfriend...|

Patience sighed, sounding as if they were shaking their head in disappointment.

"..."

*SHIIING*

"!!!!"

Both the weapon and Zombie's eyes shone with a pale white light as it got swung downwards and despite its meager size, the sword-shaped letter opener created quite an impressive sound – causing the confused Dandelions to freeze on the spot.

"Since you're not using it, I'll take it, alright?"

Zombie looked back at the confused Shanks and started playing with the tiny sword that didn't look that much different from a child's toy in his small hands.