The Villainess and I, her Zombie

It was a sunny day, even though the summer break ended a bit ago the weather was still amazing.

I was walking back home from school, minding my own business, like always, wondering how will the story unfold in the new game I started the day before.

And then it hit me!

An unmanned flying motorbike just appeared above me and dropped right on top of me!

Its back wheel hit me right in the head and my gray matter splattered on the sidewalk.

Why do I know what happened, since I've clearly died then and there?

Well, that's because...

"Yamahako...! Why is there another human here....? I ordered only one...?"

The creature talking right now was an unidentifiable being of light.

In the unknown space made out of... something...

Needless to say, that creature was very much as confused as I was.

But besides the eerily translucent me and that peculiar existence there was someone else, and the light being was talking to them.

"His head just went crunch and there were blood and brains everywhere...! I-I'm so soorryyy...!"

It was the bike...

It was the god-damned bike that killed me!

And it was talking in a high-pitched girly voice!

It was crying too!

"It was so hard to catch the human that would meet your requirements and...! And...! And when I finally nabbed her, I dropped my guard and just blinked away... right on top of this guy..."

The bike explained in a trembling voice.

"...Yamahako..."

The being of light let out a heavy sigh even though it was hard to tell if it actually had lungs.

"I'm so sorry...! Your majesty, God, could you do something with this soul...?"

The bike started begging.

"...the soul transfer is not an easy feat, you know..."

The pleading was seemingly causing a headache for the being of light, even though it was unclear whether it had a head or not...

"I... I'm willing to let go of the bonus payment for the unusually difficult target..."

"Oh, if that's the case!"

The bike muttered and the being of light instantly brightened up, even though it was already bright, being made out of light and all...

"You, human! What do you want?"

The being turned to me, even though it...

Wait! It turned to me!

"I...! I want to return to my world! Could you put me back in my body?!"

It turned out that I could talk even without flesh.

"Umm... no. Sorry. I can't reverse time... and your body right now is..."

The being sucked in the air awkwardly and looked to the side awkwardly... or did it?

"All the bloooood...! The... the brain pieeceeeeees....!"

The bike wailed.

"Just shut up already!"

The being of light snapped and glared at the bike.

"Anyway, your old world is a no-go, a soul cannot be reborn twice in a row into the same world. You know, rules and laws and whatnots..."

I... I think this creature is glossing over some super important stuff...

"Anyway, you are like the girl I've sent to a different world just now, right? Your kind likes those otome games, right?"

"Whoa, hold up, um, sir... madam...? Anyway, you are making a whole lot of assumptions here...!"

I tried to stop it, I really did...!

"So, I'll send you to a world that's just like one of those games!"

"Ah! Your majesty God is so benevolent!"

The being of light ignored me and the bike just hopped on board for that ridiculous idea!

"Hold up! Please! I-I never even played an otome game! I'm an RPG kind of guy!"

I panicked.

"Don't worry, I will leave your memories intact so you could use your knowledge to get a head start!"

"I'm telling you I have no knowledge about otome games...!"

"Now now, just enjoy your new life! Have fun!"

"Bye-bye!"

Those two completely ignored me!

Completely!!!

"You guys suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...!"

I cried as my field of vision got flooded with blinding light.

...

...

"Uuuuuuueueueueue...! Ugue...?"

I tried to finish cursing the bike and the being of light but my voice came out as nothing but a high-pitched cry.

Like, what babies sound like...

Everything was blurry, I just hope that those bastards didn't ruin my eyesight...

"What a healthy cry! Congratulations madam! It's a beautiful baby boy!"

...what...?

I was hearing voices.

And someone was carrying me around without my permission.

"Ah! He's so much bigger than his sister was!"

"That's why you had such a hard time, Nectar! But him being big is a good thing, it means that he will be healthy! Isn't that right, sir healer?"

...

I...

I got reborn...

...damn it...

I wanted to finish my game...

And if that bastard was serious back then, then this is some otome game and I have no clue about!

What's its plot?! Setting?! Anything?!

I got screwed over...!

...

...

...

Seven years passed from the time I was reborn into this world.

I still have no idea what game exactly I got thrown into, but everything looks like I must be a background character of some sort.

This world is very much like a medieval Europe with the difference of real magic existing and being highly admired and sought after.

Particularly in the kingdom I live in, Fruit Salad,

Mages, even the weak ones, are always wealthy and renowned.

And my new life?

My family is a perfect example of a middle class, we aren't super-wealthy like the nobles but we are far wealthier than many other commoners.

My father, Pear, is a merchant dealing with magic stones, and my mother, Nectarine, is his accountant.

I have one sibling, a sister named Caramel, three years older than me.

She awakened to magic a year before and was sent to a special school for the gifted youth of our kingdom, so her future is bright... But I miss her a lot...

Also...

The memories from my old world aren't of much use here.

I mean it's nice to know how to calculate things, but I still have trouble memorizing letters and numbers of this world!

They sound the same, why are they written differently!?

Sigh...

Anyway, I have a suspicion that my sister may be involved in the story somehow...

How did I come to such a conclusion?

Well, that's because her name is slightly different than all the others.

In the nation of Fruit Salad people are usually named after, well, fruits, but only after the not processed stuff.

And there she is.

Caramel.

Suspicious, isn't it?

"Kiwi! Grandpa Apple and Granny Orange sent us too many vegetables, could you take those to the old Apricot?"

My mother caught me loafing around beneath the tree behind our house and found something for me to do right away...

Sigh...

As soon as I got comfy...

"Yes!"

I got up and ran to her.

My mother handed me a bag full of various vegetables and patted my head.

"Kiwi, be a good boy and ask old Apricot if she needs something, her husband passed away a month ago and I'm a little worried about her."

She asked caressing my hair.

"You can count on me, mom!"

I took the bag, heavy bag, and assured her with a smile.

"That's my boy! Now go. I'm already preparing your favorite fried chicken for dinner~!"

There was no need to encourage me like that of course, but I would lie if I said that my stomach didn't grumble at the mention of a freshly fried chicken!

And I went on my way.

Old lady Apricot was a kind granny that lived on the opposite side of the village than us, so it was quite a long walk for my short seven-year-old legs.

I wonder if our village even has a name, it must have, right?

I mean, there's a two-carriages-wide properly maintained paved road going through the middle of it, and we have three inns, not to mention the shop with magic stones that my father runs!

Such thoughts were passing through my mind as I was crossing the road, of course after carefully checking both sides before.

And right when I was around the middle...

*Riiiip!*

The bottom of the bag ripped open and the vegetables spilled out and rolled in every direction.

"..."

Annoying...!

I chewed on the bad words I wanted to say and started picking them up one by one.

"...the way...!"

Just when I grabbed the green bell pepper I felt the earth trembling underneath my feet.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY, KID!"

I lifted my head and saw an approaching expensive-looking carriage pulled by four black horses...

That was going right at me!

The coachman was shouting and waving his arm at me while trying to steer the horses away.

B-but the vegies...!

...

THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE WORRIED ABOUT SOME VEGETABLES!

I jumped to the side and rolled away from the hooves and wheels!

*Bump!*

"Huh...?"

Or at least I've tried to...!

Instead, I crashed into the thin air!

/Unable to leave the area

A short message flashed before my eyes!

"EH!? WHAT THE...?!"

I shouted.

The carriage was right in front of me!

I tried to jump away once again!

*Bump!*

/Unable to leave the area

The same words flashed in front of my eyes.

"KID! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GET AWAY!"

The coachman's face was pale as a sheet.

*Bump!*

/Unable to leave the area

"I... I can't run..."

Even after I tried a different spot, the same words appeared as the invisible walls blocked me off.

My whole body was shaking, I raised my head and saw heavy hooves with shining horseshoes falling right at my face.

"What a shitty game."

I whispered and got trampled to death.

/You are dead

...

/Soul transfer impossible

...

/Story event in progress

...?

/Please wait

Wait... what...?