The Sword and The Shadow

Annelotte's face reddened again after hearing that. She was so mad because she didn't know how she would face him if they really did fornicate.

Would she kill him? She knew she wouldn't be able to do it, hard to admit as that was.

What else could she do? Make a huge fuss about it and never see him again? That used to be what she had planned on doing. She wanted to rebuke him for taking advantage of her in a time of weakness and break it off with him.

However, she felt rather normal. She didn't feel any kind of pain usually associated with first experiences like that. Coupled with what he said… did that mean…

Her eyes darted around and settled on the messy sheets. Her expression turned grim.

"That's blood from my nose, not yours!" He knew what she saw and why her face stiffened almost immediately.

However, his explanation only made things awkward.

"I… I wasn't looking for any red spots!"

She seemed so agitated that she could bite him to pieces.

"Oh, fine…"

He shirked. Thinking they'd messed around a little too much, he decided he would quickly explain what was going on to resolve the misunderstanding.

"Well… Annie, you were quite drunk yesterday, so you don't remember much, right?"

"So what if I was?!"

Usually, she always talked back with firm vigor. But this time, she seemed a little squeamish.

"Let me explain what happened last night. Well… Let me state this outright. I am not trying to shake away responsibility. If I really did something, I would definitely own up to it. I just don't want you to misunderstand."

Annelotte calmed herself some.

"Start explaining. I'll decide whether you're telling the truth."

"Alright.

He got his thoughts in order and found a three-legged chair still barely functional, sat down, and began his explanation.

They had very nearly fornicated, they'd come closer than he dared tell her. But just like the time with Innilis, he didn't want to become a monster.

A few hours earlier…

……

"Mmmmfff…" Leguna pushed Annelotte away after the two kissed impulsively.

She still seemed rather dizzy from the alcohol and tripped and fell onto the bed.

Leguna had all four limbs on the bed atop her. He gazed at her with a crazed fervor.

It was a battle between reason and instinct, his mind and flesh. When he saw the stunningly beautiful face in front of him, he didn't know what he should do.

"Come quick!"

This time around, she was the one getting impatient. The alcohol had dulled her reason considerably. She didn't hold herself back in the slightest and ran with her true feelings that were usually buried deep inside.

It was the first time she let herself loose completely in her 20 years of life!

But he still hesitated. He wondered what she would think if he really went forward with this.

"Are you… Not going to use… this chance to… hic…" Not being able to wait any longer, she took the initiative and put her hands on his pants before trying to pull them down.

But her hand was stopped by his.

She looked at him puzzledly, not knowing what he was thinking.

"No," he said as he shook his head.

"You don't want to?" she asked.

"No…" He still shook his head.

"What's the no for then?"

"No to all of it. Annie, I won't pretend I don't want to do this. I really do. I'm a man, so I want to make the woman I love mine. But not… not today."

"Why not?" The corners of her eyes reddened once more. She felt really hurt being refused despite mustering the courage to make the advance.

"Because I love you," he said seriously.

"You're saying that to mess with me."

There was an obvious hint of disappointment in her voice.

Leguna didn't explain. He lifted her legs onto the bed and sat on the side himself. Holding her left hand, he looked at her, who had turned to face the other side out of anger, and said, "I'm not trying to mess with you. I mean every word."

"Then why do you refuse?"

"Because I love you." He knew it wasn't an answer that could satisfy her, so he explained, "That's why, I don't want you to get hurt, especially not because of me. I know… I know you want this. But like you said, I would need to 'use this chance' to do it. That's not what I want. I can't do something so dastardly. I won't take advantage of you. This isn't what I want. I want you to ask me to do it when you're completely sober, when you can honestly say this is what you want."

"This your reason?"

"Yes. I'm stupid. I can't compete with Alissanda for charm. To be honest, I don't know how to court a girl. But stupid as I am, I have principles to uphold, such as not using tricks on the ones I love and care about. If I can to this to the people I care about the most, what does that say about me? Can I even face anyone with complete honesty and sincerity? That's why I refused your advances tonight."

"I understand…" She didn't turn back and merely looked at the moonlit curtains. "You… go out then!"

He didn't say a word for a whole minute. "Alright. Since you're drunk, I'll stay outside your room on guard. Just call me if you need anything."

He silently left when he was done. He closed the door, then turned to stare at the moon.

While he felt somewhat bored, he believed this to be the best course of action. She was still under influence of alcohol so who was to say what did would do? He doubted he could hold himself back if she did something tempting again.

He had to admit that his brain was no match for his hormones.

He didn't think he would have to face yet another trial some ten minutes later. Annelotte opened the doors and pulled him into the room again. She looked like she tried to go to sleep. She was wearing a loose-fitting sleeping robe which wasn't buttoned, seemingly for more comfort.

However, Leguna didn't take notice at all that.

"Just call me if you need anything. You didn't have to come out--" He stopped midway. He could tell that she had been crying again.

"What's wrong?" He began to panic at the sight of her tears.

She looked deeply into his eyes before hugging him tight in her bosom.

"Don't leave me… don't leave me alone… I don't want to be alone anymore… I want… someone to lay with me until I sleep… I'm afraid… afraid of the dark."

When she finished, he felt his heart melt.

Being afraid of darkness… Wasn't that something quite common for girls? It seemed she was no exception either. No matter her talent or power, she was also a girl. She was also afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone.

But how could she have had anyone to stay with her until she slept, having grown up in Moonshadow? She must've lived her life all alone the whole time, right?

No matter how fearful she felt, nobody would come for her in her little dark room. So, she closed herself up and became the beautiful crystal forever out of reach of anybody else. She knew that even if she made her feelings known, nobody would come stay with her. Instead of shivering in the dark, she might as well grow stronger herself until the darkness no longer scared her.

Twenty years later and she thought she was now used to being in the dark alone. But today, she let her feelings loose and the fear of the dark resurfaced along with the rest. She had been so terrified that the fear had been ingrained deep in her soul!

But now, she wouldn't have to endure it alone in her bed. There was a happy-go-lucky fellow who promised that he would be with her and was still waiting stupidly outside her room. Since that was the case, she decided to ask for help!

Leguna didn't say another word and gave her a light hug, before carrying her to bed.

He put an arm under her head for her to use as a pillow and stroked her head gently like he would a baby and soothed her to sleep.

……

"That's how we ended up spending the night. I really didn't do anything!" he said unremorsefully.

"You're saying I… I seduced you… I won't jump to conclusions for now." Annelotte's face flushed. "You said I was wearing my pajamas. Why was it… when I woke up…"

"Err…" He scratched his head awkwardly and snickered. "Well, you know, Annie… Don't you think I deserve a reward for soothing you to sleep?"