The Novel's Professor

He was a fetus on the void.

His flesh was covered by the darkness.

His body have never known warmth.

His mind was enraptured by the blank, and vacant hollowness.

He was less of a monster and more of a broken man.

—

The day he first opened his eyes, instinctually, tears fell out from his face. Perhaps the echoes of his cries was a normal phenomenon as everybody in the room nodded in relief.

The first thing that came onto his sight was his parents who had a grim, and upset expression on their face. It was like his birth itself was a curse to them. Within their pupils, reluctance and disgust was everpresent.

The first thing his ears had ever heard was the aching regret of his mother's voice. The upsetting shout of his father's voice. And finally, the calming and soothing voice of his grandfather.

Thereafter, he didn't know what happened. His eyes closed itself, sleeping blissfully while ignorant of the impending future that would shatter every last bit of his delusions.

Even if he did know, just as the same, he would pretend that nothing would ever go wrong. One who run from reality, stays forever in the illusions one imagined.

The last thing he heard before he descended into a long sleep was the a calm and soothing voice, mentioning his name, 'Rio'.

Fast forward to years of continued existence later, he was now standing on the soft, fluttering grass. His body, trembling from the cold as the rain showered over his clothes.

His eyes were blankly staring at the air, within his pupils was emptiness, devoid of any emotions. His gaze fell beneath him, staring at the muddy puddle as the small pool of water reflected his face.

He was wondering on why he was remembering his birth of all things. It was so insignificant and pointless. But an answer quickly formed within his mind.

The day he first breathed on this world was the same day he entrapped his mind in a delusion. It was just right that the memories of when everything started came to him this day.

This day was the end of his delusions. It was finally time to face reality and see the end of everything itself.

Rio shook his head, his eyes shifting to a long, covered coffin in the middle of the place.

Around him, the cries of several other people echoed. Tears fell from their faces as they grieved in sadness from the death of the person within the coffin.

Their reaction was understandable. Afterall, his father had just died, murdered by his spouse no less. For those who heard of the news, it was no less traumatizing and tormenting to hear.

Let alone him, who experienced the murder first hand. His mind still vividly remembers the frenzied, and maddened look his mother gave him. More so, what stuck more to his mind was her final words,

'You were a mistake.'

As much as he wanted to deny that, he couldn't. It was true, afterall. Even he, himself, agreed with that statement. For whatever reason could have god gave life to such a human like him?

A human who had felt nothing over everything. Even now, within his father's funeral. There was no strong emotion that throbbed within him.

He wasn't sad. He wasn't happy either. He just felt nothing.

He, himself, was appaled for this reaction. But then again, what was there to be appaled for? This was always the true him. This was him before everything else. This was him before he delusioned himself.

It just made sense that the moment his delusions shattered, it would also be the moment the fake personality and forced acting he had done all the years, would similarly dissapear.

That aside, there was still one person missing from this funeral to make it the perfect family reunion.

The murderer herself, his mother. Unfortunately, due to difficult circumstances, she couldn't attend. Well, correction. She can't attend. Her body right now was binded, and chained inside prison.

After she killed father, the neighborhood volunteered to be the kind citizens and report the crime. He faintly wondered if his mother would have killed him also if the police didn't arrive quickly. Not that he would mind.

Though, his mother would probably stay in prison for a long time. Maybe by the time she were to be freed, she wouldn't recognize her own son anymore.

Or, more realistically, she would die by her own hands from the torment she would experience inside an isolated jail.

Well, he hoped it wouldn't happen. Despite how he thought of his parents, somewhere within him still cared for his parents. Albeit, very little.

Now that he could stop pretending, the farce of him loving his parents was now over. Most likely, not on this life, would his body and mind experience a strong emotion such as love.

"This...this...this is all that stupid bitch's fault!" A voice echoed, seething in rage.

Incorrect. If there were to anyone to blame within this family, it would be everyone that was standing, and grieving at this very moments. His two parents clearly did not love each other, he could even go as far to say, they spited each other.

However, the pressure from both sides of their family forced them to marry each other and conceive a child. Maybe, if they didn't force his mother and father to marry, everyone right now would be happy. Him, included.

At that moment, an old man, towering six feet tall walked towards him. His face was filled with wrinkles, while his shoulder length white hair flowed behind him like floating ash.

It was his grandfather, Oryou. He was slighty curious of what the old man was feeling right now, afterall, his daughter was a murderer while his son in law was no longer alive from this world.

In addition, he heard stories that the man himself was the one that introduced his parents to each other.

"Rio," Oryou spoke, his face indifferent, "Do you want to go home now?"

His face was callous and indifferent, it was like the death of his son in law and imprisonment of his daughter didn't bother him. Glancing at the man's emotionless expression, Rio faintly wondered if he had inherited all of the man's traits.

"Grandpa..." Rio replied, his gaze shifting to the old man beside him, "...The funeral isn't finished yet."

"I know," Oryou gruffed, "But aren't you uncomfortable to be here? We can go now."

Hardly, he wasn't uncomfortable at all. Not at all. He was just a bit sad, that was all. But in the entirety of it, he didn't really feel anything over the death of his father.

And by extension, he also didn't feel anything over his mother's imprisonment. He himself was appaled by how indifferent he was. But at the same, he understands why.

He was always like this. Empty, and callous of everything. The moment his parents shattered the delusions he was living on, he reverted to being a hollow husk once more.

"Alright," Rio answered, his head nodding, "Let's go, grandpa."

There was nothing of value left to watch on this funeral. The only reason he attended was part courtesy, and because he wanted to see the face of his father one last time.

For he himself knew, the moment this day ended, he was no longer in a delusion. He was now living reality.

—

A decade had passed ever since his father's funeral.

For many, a decade was long enough time to change a person within and outwardly. He himself knew many examples, such as his previous classmates.

However, for him, it wasn't. A decade had passed, yet he was still the same as he was back then. A smile never once blossomed on his face. His body never desired for anything. His eyes still vacant and blank.

Others had noticed this too and merely passed it off as a result of the traumatic event that occured to his family a decade ago. That was understandable, but it was far from the truth, he was always like this, even before that tragedy.

He just kept it to himself. He just hid it from others in fear of losing the last bit convenience of his life. But now that he could act freely as he wanted without being suspected, everything was fine.

"...Rio," A husky voice called out to him. The voice was rough and oldened, wisened by experience, "How are you...?"

Rio shifted his eyes beneath him, staring at the person that was sitting ontop a wheelchair. It was his granfather. He answered, "I'm fine. Worry about yourself more, grandfather."

"I can't see you now, but..." Oryou commented, staring at the flowers surrounding the garden, "...I wonder, if you had changed in all these years?"

Rio pursed his lips. He didn't change at all, not one bit. But if you would qualify increase of height and a more develop mind as change, then he had changed quite drastically.

No more was he a kid who was lost in his delusions of happiness. No more was he an ignorant child that never acknowledged reality. No more...was he forcing himself to act as a different person altogether.

"Say, with all these years of living with me..." His grandpa asked, "Have you finally found something in your life?"

Rio stayed silent, unable to reply. The silence stretched long enough that an answer formed itself,

"I see..." Oryou muttered, "Perhaps it's my fault I didn't guide you enough..."

"..No, it's not you, grandfather." Rio spoke, his hand grasping over the handle of the wheelchair, "It's just me."

"Is it?" His grandpa wondered, "I feel my life fading away in every second we talk..."

It was true. It was just him, nothing would change that at all.

"...Let's get you back to the hospital," Rio spoke, his head shaking.

"No..no..I'm fine with this," Oryou said, "I'm fine on just staying here...I lived my life long enough."

In that moment, Rio stopped.

"I have seen enough..my daughter got imprisoned...and my son in law got murdered..." Oryou muttered self-deprecatingly, tears falling off his eyes, "I don't even know if I can continue to live anymore...the only thing that was stuck in my life was the mistakes I made...the problems I created...the suffering I caused...It tormented me every single...moment.."

"...If you weren't by my side...I would have killed myself for all my sins," Oryou said, his head shaking "Now that you're grown up...I thought to myself, maybe I could finally be free from everything..."

His grandfather raised his hand, reaching out to him. Instinctually, Rio reached out his arm, holding his grandfather's hand. He felt...something different for once. It was warm and soft.

"..I was not the best father to your parents...but I wish to be a good grandfather to you," Oryou spoke, his hands tightly grasping over Rio's palm, "So...by all means, live and don't turn out like me...dying alone without someone..and..regretting over everything..."

"Live and find something in life worth living for..."

"Live and befriend all kinds of people..."

"Even if you don't find anything....Even if the world has given up on you....Hell, even if god himself gave up on you....Just live... That's what matters the most. You live. As long as you breath, nothing is over yet..."

"Dream big...live long...and don't you ever give up on that...never forget that.." His grandpa spoke, "Not just for my sake...but for you too...Rio,"

His words echoed, reverberating strongly within the garden despite his rough, and husky voice. Rio slightly raised his hand, unable to properly breathe as his body uncontrollably trembled.

After such grand declaration of speech, a silence descended the garden. The silence was tranquil and peaceful, giving a comforting atmosphere to anyone who was near.

Two humans, one old, and one young, both stood together staring at the scenery of the garden. Rio sighed, his eyes covered by the bright shining sun. The sun sure is bright today.

"You're right grandpa..." Rio spoke softly, his eyes shifting to a shining yellow flower, "Even if I would have to live for an eternity..."

"I would..."

The wind blowed, and the grass fluttered alongside it. The old man beneath him slowly closed his eyes, the man's face forming into a smile.

"...try to find my happiness."

As soon as those words were dropped, the old man no longer breathed. Yet, even so, the tranquil silence continued.