The Monk That Wanted To Renounce Asceticism

Panda Novel

And Red Boy once again struck out with his palm.

Pa!

“Ahhhhh!” Salted Fish dragged out his scream as he flew back at high speeds while spinning rapidly.

Salted Fish entered One Finger Monastery while drawing out a parabolic trajectory, and Fangzheng hurriedly moved and sent another smack, sending Salted Fish flying again.

“Nice shot! Take this!” Red Boy shouted.

Salted Fish flew back again.

…

This continued on for more than ten times. In the beginning, Salted Fish would curse whenever he had the chance, but towards the end, he finally stopped. Instead, he cried. “I submit! I submit! Stop hitting me! Let me down!”

Upon hearing that Salted Fish was finally going to behave, Fangzheng took a sidestep and with a splat, Salted Fish smacked to the ground like a dead fish. He tumbled around for several meters as he limply sprawled onto the ground. As he heaved for breath, he said with a sobbing tone, “Are you monks or not? Your methods are far too violent! Boohoo…”

When Fangzheng saw this, he pressed his palms together. He went forward. “Amitabha. Patron, stop acting. Crying wolf is useless.”

And indeed, Salted Fish stood up the next moment. He was just like Red Boy, with coarse skin and thick flesh. Fangzheng and Red Boy’s smacks were only a form of stretching exercise for him. What was uncomfortable was how the two bastards used Spin Serves and left him in nausea. He wanted to vomit!

Salted Fish crawled over and said, “Master, what do you want?”

Fangzheng smiled. “Simple. After you enter One Finger Monastery, you have to abide by One Finger Monastery’s rules.”

“And if I don’t?” Salted Fish asked carefully. He no longer had the same arrogance as before. When he had been sent to this world, he had received information from the System. He had a general idea of the world he was in, and he knew very well his reason for being there. He was a reward, and he had been awarded to the young baldy in front of him. His mission was to be obedient and protect One Finger Monastery and serve it with his powers. However, this a**hole was a slippery fellow full of schemes.

The moment he realized that this world was without Buddha or demons, he immediately thought himself invincible and amazing. Not only did he not plan on working for Fangzheng, he planned to become someone revered as an Ancestor instead, and get a kick out of playing Buddha or a patriarch!

However, despite all his ideas, he came to realize that he had been tricked by the System! F**k, wasn’t there supposed to be no Buddha around? Yet this monk was even worse than Buddha. He directly stripped him of his Dharmic powers! Weren’t there supposed to be no demons? Then what was up with that brat being a great demon king? There wasn’t supposed to be any fiends, but from his point of view, the monk was worse than a fiend… How could he treat the elderly this way!

At the end of the day, Salted Fish finally realized at that moment just what situation he had ended up in. He knew that he was ultimately just a salted fish and unable to cause so much as a stir. He finally turned obedient.

Fangzheng smiled. “If you don’t abide by the rules… How was your fight with him? Yet he’s already so obedient. So are you sure you want to try your luck?”

Fangzheng looked at Salted Fish with a smile.

Salted Fish looked at the obedient Red Boy and subconsciously shivered. He hurriedly shouted. “Don’t worry, Master. I’m really obedient! In the future, I’ll just be your Guardian Protector, alright?”

“Sure. Jingxin, find him a pickled vegetable vat. He shall sleep in that in the future,” Fangzheng said.

Salted Fish instantly turned worked up when he heard that. “Master, are you not letting me into the pond?”

“With you smelling like that, will the water still be usable if you enter the Heavenly Dragon Pond? People would be scared away by the smell from afar,” Fangzheng said as he rolled his eyes.

Salted Fish’s mouth turned agape as he cried out in grievance. “Is it my fault? I’m a salted fish that gained sentience. Can I not be salty?”

Fangzheng was immediately incensed when he heard that. He screamed inwardly. “System! Come out! You call this a carp? This is clearly a salted fish, alright!?”

“Hey, don’t be angry. That bit of merit you have isn’t enough for you to get a real carp. So all you could get was this salted fish. Don’t look down on it. He has many uses. If you happened to draw him and it was up to me, I wouldn’t even be willing to give him to you,” the System finally said something for the first time.

“Heh heh. So you think of it as a treasure? Tell me, how is it like a treasure? If it isn’t any good, I want a refund!” Fangzheng couldn’t fathom any benefit Salted Fish could bring him. He was a wily old fox, had coarse skin and thick flesh. He didn’t hurt from a beating, nor was he afraid of any reprimanding. Wherever he went, he brought along a salty, fishy smell… This guy was obviously trouble.

“This salted fish is no ordinary salted fish. Back when Buddha was traveling the heavens, he suddenly brought back this salted fish. Back then, he was only a salted fish without any sentience. Buddhist Dharma placed him in front of a Lotus Platform and chanted the scriptures and preached the Dharma to him daily. Later, under the Buddhist Dharma, this salted fish gained sentience and turned into a carp. Afterwards Buddha placed him in the Heavenly Dragon Pond. Guess what happened next?” the System asked.

Fangzheng was puzzled as he asked, “What happened? Did the Heavenly Dragon Pond turn salty and all the carps died?”

“The carps didn’t die, but the Heavenly Dragon Pond’s effects were enhanced greatly! The ratio of carps that turned into dragons increased by 30%! Buddha said that although this salted fish wasn’t able to transform into a dragon, he brought about magical powers. He could turn the water in the Heavenly Dragon Pond into Buddhistic Glow Holy Water, which could be used to dispel evil and nourish all beings. Using the water to rear carps, the rate of dragon transformations will increase. Using the water to water crops, the crops will be immune to diseases, filled with nutrients, and taste great!”

“Really? There must be a reason behind this, right? Otherwise, you definitely wouldn’t give it to me for such a cheap price.” Fangzheng was taken aback as he stole a glance at Salted Fish. This fellow looked like a wily old fox no matter how he looked at it.

The System said, “That’s right. Although this salted fish brings about quite a significant number of benefits, he also brings about trouble. Just as you said, he’s like a wily old fox! Do you think he has really lived for 90,000 years? This guy missed out on 8 zeros with that number!”

Pfft!

Fangzheng nearly spewed out blood! 9 trillion years!? This fellow lived for 9 trillion years without transforming into a dragon? All he did was help others achieve their aim? Fangzheng did not know how to describe the old salted fish. To call him a living Lei Feng ¹ ? Or to call him a living loser?

The System continued. “Buddha said that his outer shell comes from an extraordinary background and will require tremendous opportunities before he can successfully turn into a dragon. Before turning into a dragon, he’s basically crap. Meanwhile, this fellow has lived too long, far longer than many Bodhisattvas and Arhats. And with all the dragons that attained dragonhood thanks to him, as well as all their children and grandchildren, he is indeed considered an Ancestor on Mount Numinous. With that personality of his, you can imagine… He gives even Buddha a headache. After all, Buddha doesn’t have the time to deal with him all day. It’s basically because he has advantages and also disadvantages that he was given to you so cheaply. As for a refund, you can forget about it.”

With that said, the System fell silent. Fangzheng called out a few more times, but the System didn’t say a word.

Fangzheng knew that it was really impossible for him to ask for a refund. It was already not bad that the System appeared to tell him more about Salted Fish. Moreover, with this fellow’s character, it wasn’t like Fangzheng was completely helpless against him.

Since there was no chance he could get a refund, Fangzheng looked at Salted Fish and said, “Can you do something about your salty smell?”