The Monk That Wanted To Renounce Asceticism

Panda Novel

“Don’t worry. No matter what you give birth to, as long as it’s a normal birth, it will definitely be fine with me around!” a bearded doctor said confidently. He put on his mask and said, “Okay, relax a little. Alright, listen to my orders. Take a deep breath… use strength… Oh my god!”

<span> The doctor suddenly exclaimed, then ran off without looking back!

<span> Before White Shirt could fully exert his strength, he saw that the old doctor, who usually walked slowly, suddenly ran out of the door at speeds seemingly reaching 80 miles an hour and disappeared!

<span> The other assistants were clearly taken aback. They looked down at White Shirt’s crotch and exclaimed, “A bomb!”

<span> Then, the group of people also ran away.

<span> They left White Shirt behind in bed as he cried out in pain, “Come back… All of you… These bastards! Bastard! Ah… It hurts so much…”

<span> It was unknown how long White Shirt screamed. Anyway, he saw a few more people arrive, but they were not doctors, but explosive ordnance disposal (EOD) experts…

<span> Then, he heard the expert angrily shout, “This isn’t a time bomb. Those doctors are making a fuss out of nothing! It’s outrageous. Wouldn’t it be fine if they were careful?”

<span> “Teacher, there’s another lead wire there.” A rather young voice sounded.

<span> “That’s the umbilical cord!” a doctor peeked his head out and shouted.

<span> The EOD expert glared at him and said, “I’ll do the lead wire. You’ll do the umbilical cord! Come here!”

<span> The doctor said, “Are you sure it won’t explode?”

<span> “This is an umbilical cord, not a lead wire. What are you afraid of?” the EOD expert said speechlessly.

<span> Only then did the doctor heave a sigh of relief. Then, he came over and mumbled, “Why is a perfectly fine man pregnant with a metallic lump… It’s strange. It’s strange. It’s even a smooth delivery through his asshole.”

<span> White Shirt said through gritted teeth, “Shut up, or I’ll kill you!”

<span> The doctor quickly shut up and asked the EOD expert, “Do I cut it?”

<span> The EOD expert said, “Slow down. Do it bit by bit; it’ll be bad if there’s a lead wire inside. F**k, I’m starting to have doubts. A person giving birth to a bomb… I’m an EOD expert; yet, I’m helping someone give birth! Seriously!”

<span> The doctor carefully cut the umbilical cord bit by bit. The EOD expert examined carefully and after confirming that there were no metal wires inside, he said, “Cut it. It’s fine. It’s just an umbilical cord.”

<span> “Are you sure it’s okay?” the doctor asked.

<span> The EOD expert said, “In theory, it’ll be fine.”

<span> The doctor muttered, “In theory, humans can’t give birth to a bomb either…”

<span> “Stop talking. Cut it,” the EOD expert said.

<span> The doctor nodded and cut with a pair of scissors!

<span> At that instant, everyone’s nerves tensed up. Although the EOD expert felt that it was okay in theory, he couldn’t use theory to judge the situation in front of him. Therefore, all of them were horrified, but they still did it.

<span> The scissors sliced down, and the umbilical cord snapped. The bomb suddenly beeped twice.

<span> “Take cover!” the EOD expert shouted after throwing himself to the ground.

<span> Only then did the others throw themselves to the ground. All of them looked angrily at the EOD expert, as though they were saying: “F**k, you only shouted when you’ve taken cover. Are you trying to kill us!?”

<span> The EOD expert didn’t blush at all, as if oblivious to it. After waiting for a while and seeing that the bomb had not exploded, he tried standing up and looked at the bomb. “It’s nothing… Get up.”

<span> Everyone looked at this immoral EOD expert with resentment. However, when they thought about it carefully, if this guy had any morals, would he come here to give his services? Hence, they came to a realization!

<span> Just as everyone heaved a sigh of relief…

<span> BOOM.

<span> There was a loud explosion!

<span> It was as if the entire building shook. Following that, a tragic scream was heard!

<span> The people passing by the building looked up when they heard the commotion. They happened to see several windows vibrating. Following that, red smoke rose from the window that was not closed!

<span> Almost everyone subconsciously asked, “What is that?”

<span> At the same time in One Finger Monastery’s backyard, Red Boy asked, “Master, what did you get White Shirt to give birth to? It can’t really be a bomb, right? If it really blew up, wouldn’t he be dead?”

<span> Fangzheng silently played with his cell phone without saying a word.

<span> Squirrel sat on Fangzheng’s shoulder and looked at his cell phone as he read, “The most spicy chili pepper, Pepper X. The spiciness of Pepper X exceeds that of the Carolina Reaper and has broken the world record. The level of spiciness of an ordinary chili pepper is 10,000–20,000 on the Scoville scale. Pepper X reaches a terrifying 3.18 million units on the Scoville scale…”

<span> “Master, don’t tell me you used this thing? The spiciness can also kill,” exclaimed Red Boy.

<span> Fangzheng shook his head. “I’m not that cruel. The chilli pepper used was this chilli pepper, but it won’t kill.”

<span> Red Boy curled his lips. “Those terrorists deserve to die. It’s considered as doing a favor to rid the scum of this world. If it were me, I would use the spiciest one!”

<span> Fangzheng smiled. “Sometimes, living is more painful than dying. For example…”

<span> “Ah… What the heck is this!” The EOD expert crawled out of the room, screaming. That’s right, he was crawling… It was impossible to walk as his whole body was trembling.

<span> The EOD apprentice also crawled out and shouted, “Teacher, this… Achoo… I… I think it’s a chili pepper… Achoo!”

<span> “Chili pepper! Es… especially spicy chili peppers! It’s too pungent, it hurts… Achoo!” The doctor also crawled out.

<span> “Save me! Achoo! It burns!” White Shirt’s scream came from within.

<span> The three of them exchanged looks and saw that each of them had faces that were flushed red. Their snot and tears flowed down uncontrollably. They touched their faces that were burning hot and painful, and they felt very uncomfortable… Then, more and more tears streamed down their faces, making it impossible to see anything clearly.

<span> Someone tried to drag them away, but the moment he touched them, he exclaimed, “Wow, it’s so spicy! My hands feel like they are burning! It hurts!”

<span> “Don’t use your hand, use a hook!”

<span> Then, someone really dragged them out with a hook…

<span> It was twenty minutes later when the poor White Shirt was taken out. At that time, the chili pepper powder that floated in the air had already drifted down. When the people pulled out White Shirt, they couldn’t believe that he was White Shirt…

<span> “What’s up with that red fatso over there?”

<span> “Shh, that’s Red Fiend’s White Shirt.”

<span> “The one who gave birth to the chili pepper bomb? The doctor who helped with the birth is quite pitiful.”

<span> “Shh, lower your voice. The General has a fondness for White Shirt.”

<span> “Isn’t the General unwilling to deal with the Red Fiend? What happened?”

<span> “General seems to have taken a fancy to the chili pepper bomb he gave birth to…”

<span> “Ugh…”

<span> …

<span> At that moment, White Shirt started shouting again, “F**k… It’s… starting again! I’m pregnant again, help!”

<span> Upon hearing that he was pregnant again, the two soldiers who were carrying the stretcher were so frightened that their hands turned limp and they dropped White Shirt to the ground with a loud thud, only to cause him to cry out in pain.