The Monk That Wanted To Renounce Asceticism

Panda Novel

Red Boy pricked up his brows. He knew that Salted Fish had guessed his plan and was using paper to deal with him. However, Red Boy didn’t have any intention of changing. As long as he produced paper, there was no chance of losing. Salted Fish was a wily old fox and a darn hooligan. He had many foul ideas, so there was no need for him to take the risk.

The second round ended with paper on both sides again.

Likewise for the third round.

And the fourth.

Paper!

The fifth round.

Paper!

…

Fangzheng shook his head and yawned when he saw the two stubborn fellows. “Let them slowly compete with each other. Jingzhen, Jingfa, and Jingkuan, don’t watch. Go take a look at what’s happening in the front yard. With the incense offerings so plenty recently, don’t slack off.”

The trio thought for a moment and knew that the duo’s battle wouldn’t come to an end anytime soon. Hence, they nodded and left.

Fangzheng shook his head and returned to his quarters.

This day, no visitor saw Guardian Protector Salted Fish and Young Venerable Jingxin. All they heard were the constant cries of rock-paper-scissors from the backyard. With visitors prohibited from entering the backyard, everyone could only keep their puzzlement at bay.

As the sun rose up into the sky, Fangzheng began having lunch with Squirrel, Monkey, and Lone Wolf. By the side, Red Boy and Salted Fish had bloodshot eyes as they kept shouting rock-paper-scissors.

“Master, are we really not telling them it’s time for lunch?” Squirrel asked.

Fangzheng shook his head. “It’s rare for them to find something more important than eating, so let them continue.”

“No, what I mean is, can I pack the food they aren’t eating for myself?” Squirrel whispered.

Fangzheng: “…”

Meanwhile, the shouting of rock-paper-scissors suddenly came to an end!

The next moment, they heard whooshing sounds before Red Boy and Salted Fish took their seats. Then, they wolfed down their food before returning to their original spots to continue their rock-paper-scissors tournament.

In the evening, Fangzheng and Monkey struck the bell and drum under the crowd’s gaze, while rock-paper-scissors continued in the backyard.

At night, as Fangzheng was sleeping soundly, the rock-paper-scissors tournament was still happening outside.

Fangzheng rolled to his side and continued sleeping.

The next day, Fangzheng got up and found something amiss. Only after some thought did he realize that the sound of “rock-paper-scissors” was gone.

Fangzheng opened the door out of curiosity to figure out what happened.

When he opened the door, he saw Red Boy sitting by the kitchen, drinking bowl after bowl of Unrooted Clean Aqua, as though he was drinking alcohol. He appeared rather domineering, making it unclear whether he was rejoicing because of his victory, or drowning the sorrows of his defeat.

Fangzheng went over and asked, “Who won?”

Just as he said that, he heard footsteps by the door. He saw Salted Fish holding a walking stick on his shoulder, and hanging from it was a black cloth bag. He looked like he was planning on going on a long trip. He had a smug smile as he directed it at Fangzheng. “Reverend, when will we be setting off?”

Upon seeing this, Fangzheng realized that Salted Fish had won. However, he was puzzled. How did Salted Fish win? Logically speaking, there was no chance for Red Boy to lose as long as he kept throwing paper!

Fangzheng curiously looked at Red Boy and asked him about it.

Red Boy’s eyes welled with tears as he pointed angrily at Salted Fish. “Master, this salted fish is a jerk! He’s too scheming!”

“Hey, Jingxin, don’t speak ill of me. I’m very pure. You were the one who was scheming,” Salted Fish grunted.

Fangzheng waved his hand for him to shut up and allowed Red Boy to continue.

Red Boy said, “This old bastard played paper an entire night and day, when he suddenly used the fish tail at his butt to produce scissors! I want to curse!”

Upon saying this, Red Boy’s face was overwhelmed with tears. He grabbed a huge bowl of water and gulped it down.

Fangzheng was enlightened. It was no wonder that Salted Fish, who was so smart, wouldn’t fall into such an obvious trap. This guy had been scheming against Red Boy all along! It was truly a result of coveting gains recklessly without realizing the danger. Both of them were filled with schemes.

However, one couldn’t be a sore loser. Fangzheng would have to bring Salted Fish down the mountain.

Salted Fish cried out. “Reverend, I don’t have to act dead anymore, right?”

Fangzheng shook his head and said, “You do. Although you were already revealed to the public, This Penniless Monk doesn’t wish to be surrounded by people. A walking and talking salted fish is a lot rarer than a panda. It’s still best that you act dead. Once we arrive, you will be allowed to move around.”

Salted Fish was helpless. All he could do was stuff his tiny luggage into his Meru scale. Then, he lay down on the ground, acting dead.

Fangzheng prepared some food and stuffed it into Salted Fish’s Meru scale before finding a black piece of cloth to wrap Salted Fish up.

After everything was done, Fangzheng snapped his fingers. “Time to go!”

“Master, before you leave, are you not going to collect the money?” Squirrel pointed at the money pile under the bodhi tree. It was all the money thrown by people with Salted Fish sitting there daily.

Monkey pointed at the Merit Box. “There should be plenty of money in there.”

Fangzheng thought about it and ultimately shook his head. “Not now. Let’s wait until the end of the month. It will be massive by then!”

With that said, Fangzheng carried Salted Fish down the mountain.

Lone Wolf followed behind him as he watched the two leave. He mumbled. “I have a feeling that if Master is gone for long, his rations will be finished, and the two will starve.”

“Why?” Squirrel asked curiously.

Lone Wolf said in all seriousness, “Because Master didn’t bring his wallet!”

“He didn’t bring his wallet? Then how is he going south? Or leaving the country for that matter?” Squirrel asked in shock.

Below Mt. One Finger, on the public road, there was a loud rumble and what looked like a flaming wheel accompanied by the sound of an accelerating motorcycle. Following that, a white-robed monk dashed past while riding on a salted fish!

If anyone came close and took a careful look, they would see that the salted fish was on the brink of tears.

“Reverend, didn’t you say we shouldn’t be stealing the limelight because you don’t want to get surrounded?” Salted Fish lamented.

“That’s right, which is why This Penniless Monk got you to run faster. Even if we are discovered now, no one will be able to chase up to us to surround us.”

Salted Fish: “…”

Salted Fish had a premonition that there was a small reason why Fangzheng would have chosen him over Red Boy anyway—he saved them money!

Salted Fish ran out of One Finger Village and headed straight for Songwu County City in one breath.

On the way, Fangzheng’s phone rang.

“Amitabha. Hello, Patron Jing.” Fangzheng stopped and took the call.

Salted Fish rolled his eyes. “There’s no need for you to stop just for a call, right? Can’t I just run all the way to Songwu County City, and you can order some tea and have a slow chat then?”

Fangzheng rolled his eyes and said, “It’s illegal to be on the phone while driving. It’s the traffic rules. Do you not understand?”

Salted Fish scoffed as he mumbled. “What about the fact that you were speeding then?” He regretted it the moment he said that, though. He didn’t dare let Fangzheng hear him say that. When he stole a glance at him, he realized that Fangzheng had apparently not heard him, and he immediately heaved a sigh of relief.

“Abbot Fangzheng, I’m here to pick you up and bring you to the airport. By the way, did you keep the flight tickets?” Jing Yan’s voice was brisk as though she was rather happy.