The Mech Touch

Both Saint Sandro Gemini and Saint Kaia Gemini understood that they were dealing with a tough customer.

Of all of the talented and combat capable expert pilots they had met over their long careers, Venerable Joshua Larkinson presented them with a unique problem case.

It wasn't often that expert pilots developed too much sympathy and care for their enemies.

Most mech pilots tended to get rid of those sentiments over the course of their careers, especially after fighting a couple of actual battles.

Employers also tried to do their best to guide and steer the mentalities of their mech pilots in a direction that was meant to turn them into obedient killing machines.

This could clearly be identified among the gathered Larkinson expert pilots.

The more militaristic among them that had received expanded education or served in professional military units all knew better than to take the enemy's side.

One of the reasons why Venerable Joshua was noticeably softer than his peers was because he never got to serve in a professional mech army like the Bright Republic's Mech Corps after graduation.

He instead fell into the hands of the Larkinsons as soon as he graduated from a reputable mech academy.

This was great in that Joshua had yet to be instilled with strong institutional biases from the Mech Corps, but it was also detrimental because the man missed a lot of essential guidance.

Venerable Joshua would have never been able to become the expert pilot of today if not for his unique life trajectory. It was highly doubtful whether he would have been able to develop a life domain that allowed him to perfectly match the living mechs designed by the clan patriarch if he got stuck piloting generic military mech models for several years.

He was ultimately a product of his circumstances. Venerable Joshua's unusual sympathy towards both human and alien lives was a natural result of developing a close appreciation of living mechs.

"Your clan has been remiss in neglecting to address this problem of yours." Saint Sandro Gemini said with a clear expression of disapproval.

"I don't feel I have a problem." Venerable Joshua said. "I feel I am more human among all of you. Each of you think that killing humans and aliens is somehow normal, but why can't we question whether this is even right?"

"Here he goes again." Venerable Orfan contemptuously muttered. "Joshua is indulging his inner cosmopolitan again. Why don't you grow up and take your duties as a soldier seriously?! Newsflash, boy, you're a guardian! Hundreds of thousands of Larkinsons are depending on you to keep them safe in battle! The more you doubt your responsibilities, the more you allow our enemies to slip past your guard and harm our friends and family. Do you want to have the blood of fellow Larkinsons instead of the blood of our nemies on your hands?!"

Venerable Joshua almost stood out as his willpower surged with fury. "I DON'T WANT ANY BLOOD ON MY HANDS! I WANT TO LIVE IN A GALAXY WHERE NO ONE IS FORCED TO SPILL ANY UNNECESSARY BLOOD! IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR EVERYONE?!"

A few expert pilots wanted to open their mouths and press Joshua's foolish ideas down, but Saint Kaia Gemini leveraged her powerful Saint Kingdom to suppress them from escalating the argument.

The forced silence imposed by the Gemini ace pilot caused the temperature in the lounge to cool.

Joshua recognized that he had lost control over himself again and used this moment of forced silence to rein in his temper.

"I'm sorry." He eventually said after half a minute had passed. "None of this is your fault. I don't want to impose my struggle onto you all. I'm just a fool."

"We do not think you are a fool." Saint Sandro said with a smile. "You are, as you have said, more human than any of us. That is rare and maybe precious. Each of us here are killers. Some of us are even guilty of murder. While few people are willing to cast judgment on our actions, you are a rare breed of expert pilot that is willing to challenge the status quo because your heart is compelling you to do so. You are being braver than anyone else for asking all of the uncomfortable questions that everyone wants to avoid."

"It doesn't seem like anyone else besides me is interested in answering them, though." Joshua sardonically said.

"That is the reality that not just you but any expert pilot with a cause has to contend with. We all have our dreams and goals. Visionary expert pilots like you tend to have it worse than most, because your driving goals entail imposing your opinions not just on yourself, but every other human. You will not be happy unless you are able to convince everyone to adopt your brand of justice. Is that an accurate description of your ambition?"

"It is not an ambition, per se." Joshua replied. "I just think that everyone is wrong or at least led astray. The more we get pulled into this endless spiral of death, the more we lose our humanity. I don't know about you guys, but I don't want to turn myself into a monster that is willing to kill people at the drop of a hat."

Some of the Larkinson expert pilots began to look uncomfortable after Joshua prompted them to look inward.

Each of them had become aware of how much they had changed compared to when they were just starting out as mech pilots.

They were much weaker but also much more human back then. So much had happened after that time that caused them to become increasingly stronger while shedding the parts of themselves that they thought of as burdens.

Were they truly burdens, though? What if the elements they had wiped away from their psyches were instead vital to maintaining the most precious parts of themselves, which was the ability to connect with other humans?

Joshua knew from his close relationship with Ketis that she turned into a much more ruthless woman if she let her 'companion spirit' into her mind.

Though Sharpie looked like a cute miniature version of Ketis, the swordmaster became completely driven when she assumed her full might.

It was kind of scary how little affection Ketis had left when she was in her 'serious mode'!

Fortunately, Ketis was able to avoid the fate of his first girlfriend by being able to separate this 'double-edged sword' from her mind.

She usually deposited Sharpie into her Bloodsinger to make sure she remained human enough in front of everyone.

It was these odd experiences that made Venerable Joshua even more determined to cling to his ability to care, his sympathy towards life and his rather naive mindset!

Though the Gemini Saints didn't have access to the full story of what made Joshua so atypical among his peers, they could clearly sense that the young man was being utterly sincere and truthful.

That made this situation even trickier for them. The two ace pilots preferred not to confront this serious and problematic issue, but they were duty bound to render assistance, and they were not about to shirk their responsibilities.

Saint Sandro Gemini raised his palm, quieting the low discussion that had erupted after Joshua made his outbursts.

"You have a decision to make, Joshua. You cannot stand at the crossroads forever. Your growing doubts will consume you and sap you of your strength if you continue to procrastinate. You need to make up your mind and follow your chosen course to the end. If you are not willing to make the hard choices, then you will eventually lead yourself to a dead end where your prospects are bleak.

"Many expert pilots have stopped advancing because of this." Saint Kaia Gemini added. "Many of them are highly skilled and effective in battle, yet their resonance strengths have ceased to grow. Why is this the case? It is because they subconsciously recognize that they are no longer fighting for the right reasons. They are essentially lying to themselves, and you all know that this is a death sentence to expert pilots such as yourselves. As soon as you have chosen to go down this path, you must always stay true to your heart. Failing to do so will disqualify you from attaining any further greatness."

These explanations were quite insightful. While many of the gathered expert pilots understood at least a part of what the Gemini Saints explained, they never thought that lying to themselves could lead them to sabotaging their own growth.

Many of the expert pilots became a lot more introspective all of a sudden! The ones who the Gemini Saints had called out earlier were especially concerned about the possibility that they were lying their way to a dead end!

This outcome alone made the entire tutoring session worth it for the Larkinson Clan!

Both of the Gemini Saints smiled as they saw that their words had the intended effect.

Unfortunately, the only expert pilot that was still not out of the woods was Venerable Joshua.

"Let us share a small story with you all." Saint Sandro Gemini spoke in his calm and sagely voice. "Once, there was a pair of mech pilots who belonged to a family that was unusual to say the least. Just like the rest of their relatives, this pair of pilots chose a way of life that is highly controversial to the rest of human society."

"The pair of mech pilots had to endure constant abuse and recrimination throughout their career." Saint Kaia Gemini continued. "Just like the rest of the family, the mech pilots who did not fit in with the rest of the galactic crowd were confronted by a constant stream of critics who hurled abuse in their way. Some even chose to challenge the pair in mech duels."

Saint Sandro looked more intense. "The two mech pilots did not falter. They won a number of duels but also lost a few. Not every battle can be won. What is important is what they did after every loss. Did they lose heart in their way of life and gave up on it? No. They did not. They picked themselves up and used the shame of defeat to boost their training. After that, the pair of mech pilots began to win more and more duels and battles. They even managed to advance to expert candidates and subsequently expert pilots through their efforts."

"Now that they had achieved a powerful and respectful rank, the pair of newly minted expert pilots thought that all of the insults, mockery and challenges would cease at that point. They were wrong."

"They endured the same abuses all over again, but this time it wasn't regular people that tormented them, but fellow expert pilots from other groups."

"Duels are generally frowned upon at this level, but that does not mean they do not happen. The pair of expert pilots were forced to fight for their honor, their conviction and their family more times than they wished. They even became embroiled in larger battles where their entire family was in danger. Much of this happened because other people as well as the expert pilots among them could not tolerate a life philosophy that was different from the norm."

Saint Sandro sighed. "Those were trying times. The pair of expert pilots were forced to lead their family to one region after another. They could never stay in one place because they tended to attract more hostility from the locals the longer they imposed their existence on them. The losses were great, but the expert pilots never wavered. They fought for what they believed in even when it looked as if the rest of human society vehemently rejected their existence."

Saint Kaia Gemini smiled. "Eventually, the pair of expert pilots prevailed. They fought for their beliefs and their family so many times without wavering in their purpose that they have done the improbable. They succeeded in advancing to ace pilots in quick succession. Although this has exposed their family to an entirely new level of threats, they have always maintained their confidence that they will be able to gain the strength they need to fend off all of their challenges. They have to in order for them and their relatives to survive."

"As for their former enemies, particularly the expert pilots who survived the battles against their family?" Saint Sandro Gemini smirked. "Each and every one of them have failed to keep up. The vast majority of them have grown into stagnant and bitter expert pilots who learned too late that their attempts to divert their own failings by ascribing them to others has contributed to their lack of progress. They had become so consumed by their mechs, their piloting skills, their material needs and most importantly their vanity that they did not notice that they had been lying to themselves the entire time."

"Learn from their failures. Learn from their shortsightedness. Learn from their ignorance."

"The greatest strength of an expert pilot is not their willpower nor their skill. It is their heart." Saint Sandro solemnly placed his palm against his heart.

Saint Kaia smiled towards the expert pilot that provoked this discussion. "Out of all of you, Venerable Joshua is the only one among you who is more honest to themselves. Do you know what this means in our eyes? He is the most promising candidate to become an ace pilot in the future."

"We have witnessed too many expert pilots who have become too caught up in compromising their ideals in order to fit in with the rest of human society."

"We may be soldiers, but we are not slaves. There is a difference between the two. We hope that you do not fool yourself into accepting other people's shackles."