The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: imperfectluck  Editor: Kurisu

This three-story brick building was rather tattered and outdated as it was constructed in a style from three centuries ago. Although the steps were scrubbed quite cleanly, the place still seemed rather archaic. The decorative tapestries depicted the heroic deeds of ancient Mist Kingdom rulers. There was still the smell of fresh paint on the tattered walls as a result of recent renovation.

Before this building was a pine tree, a patch of garden, and empty land.

A rusty copper gate encircled this little location. There were still some plants growing in the garden, although at this time of year, they were all withered and dry.

“I previously practiced swordsmanship right under this pine tree…”

I was currently at a quiet place within the East Mist royal palace. This place had previously been the residence of myself and my idiotic twin brother.

When news that I was still alive was proven to be true, Kelly opened up this sealed residence and ordered subordinates to clean this place up again, placing new furniture inside. But eight years ago, when I last returned to the Northlands, this place had still been under reconstruction, which was why she hadn’t mentioned anything to me. This time, Kelly, who also served as the chief steward of the royal palace, simply had me stay in this residence, giving me quite a pleasant surprise.

The building and garden seemed just like how they had been before in the past. Even the copper gate still had the etch marks from when my twin and I compared our height with each other… But, since we were twins, was there really any meaning in competing?

These past memories came back to me as if they happened just yesterday. This place seemed just like how it was in my memories. Was this the feeling of home? However, I still felt somewhat lonely with how empty things were here, making me want to sigh.

I could no longer remember the appearance of my parents, nor could I remember the classes I took back then. However, these rusty and scattered memories had remained with me perhaps because of their unimportance. Should I feel fortunate?

“Sheesh…”

*Click!*

There was the sound of the rusty gate being opened. The metallic sound interrupted my thoughts. I turned around to see Reyne, the current master of this royal palace.

“You, you, you, you, you… Who are you? You’re Brother Roland?”

I paused in surprise for a moment, and then had an instantaneous realization as I immediately adjusted my time accessory, making my physical body appear to be 20 years old.

“Oh, this is a little toy that Margaret made for me. It can adjust my physical appearance.”

This was a perfect truthful lie. Everything I said was indeed the truth. Combined with my actions and expression, this would fool anyone into believing that I had used this time accessory to adjust my physical appearance.

Reyne slowly nodded, yet a strange smile appeared on her face as if she had seen through everything already. Damn it! I had forgotten that monkeys like her would all think with muscles for brains, meaning that they could tell the truth with just their instincts.

“So, what’s that, I think I remember… Dusk Fruits?”

Although it sounded like Reyne was asking a question, her tone was absolutely confident. These fruits were highly recognizable due to their resemblance to skulls. Although the taste was alright, I still felt quite awkward eating them… I could sense the prankster intentions behind the design. It was probably a joke from Amelia herself.

I was now regretting what I was doing here. I had already ordered the guards not to let anyone else inside, and started eating my Dusk Fruit supply here to increase my age and get accustomed to my new physical body. However, I hadn’t considered that the royal guards would never be able to keep out the ruler of this palace. It was likely that just one word from her would mean that the guards wouldn’t even inform me of her arrival.

Yes, I was hiding here by myself in order to eat my previously obtained stock of 100 Dusk Fruits. It wouldn’t be possible to eat all these age-increasing fruits in one go.

Every time I ate one fruit, I would need some time for my physical body adjust and get used to its changes. This was to avoid any overly extreme changes to my physical body, which would cause incompatibility with my soul. This would also let me avoid transforming into Eich’s version of Urashima Taro. I had obtained 100 Dusk Fruits two weeks ago, but I had only eaten 10 by now, meaning that I had increased my age by 50 years… But honestly, I was now feeling despair due to my bloodline. Looking in the mirror, I felt that the only difference was that I had grown from a fourth-grader to a fourth grader who looked six months older. It would be quite a long while until my physical appearance could graduate from elementary school!

Still, these fruits did indeed bring me concrete benefits. I could feel more strength in my arms, and it also felt like my thoughts were clearer. To put it in my System’s terms, the 50 years of age I gained also gave me the effects of +1 Strength and +1 Intelligence. These would be actual major bonuses.

However, every time that I asked my damned System when my bloodline would mature and reach adult age, she would always somehow change the topic or pretend not to understand, which made me really uneasy.

In a way, this world did have some fairness. The stronger the bloodline, the more difficult it would be to reproduce, and the longer the time required to reach maturity. Dragons, titans, and giants were all excellent examples of this. Elves would also require 100 or 200 years to reach maturity. Gold Elves, who had a Gold Bloodline, would require more than 1000 years to reach maturity… Now I felt even more that the moon elves back then were such bastards. They actually dared to bully a little girl right after killing her father!

Silver Bloodlines would require 100 or 200 years to reach maturity. Most Gold Bloodlines would require over 1000 years. As for Diamond Bloodlines… When considering how my bloodline was even a Double Diamond Bloodline, theoretically speaking, it would seem only logical for it to require more than 10,000 years to reach maturity.

“Venerated Goddess of Order, if this bloodline truly requires over 10,000 years to reach adult age, do you believe that I’ll commit suicide together with you!? Just what were you thinking back then!?”

[Tsk, blaming me at such a time? Who was the one who wanted the most powerful bloodline of all? I was nice enough to add in my and Cynthia’s personal bloodlines to your bloodline. You should be grateful to me.]

Rather than making me happy, I felt even more despair after hearing that. No wonder something seemed off about the situation. A Double Diamond Bloodline wouldn’t be easy to come by, even for a Creator Goddess. So, my bloodline was on the level of the Goddesses of Order and Chaos’ bloodline? Wouldn’t that potentially mean that it would take me over 100,000 years to reach adult age? Then what meaning would there be, no matter how powerful my bloodline was?

“…Let’s not talk about the potential strength of this bloodline at adult age anymore. I’ve already been a virgin for more than 300 years. Are you intending on keeping me a virgin for another several tens of thousands of years?”

[…I had no such intentions. When Cynthia and I were born, we were already adults. I also didn’t expect that you would become how you currently are…]

For once, my System actually sounded like she felt guilty, as if she was unintentionally revealing some secret to me. So, me being like this wasn’t actually her intentionally digging a pitfall for me, but rather an accident. Yet, I was still unable to feel happy about this. This was circumstantial evidence that things were already out of control, and that my System could no longer be counted on.

I was even more displeased now. But, surprisingly, my System actually voluntarily made concessions to me.

[Don’t be like that. I can actually give you something that you need to make it up to you. Weren’t you previously trying to find the Spring of the Drowned Woman? I can give you some water from that.]

“You’re even capable of creating something like that? Wait a moment, I’m not looking for the Spring of the Drowned Woman, it’s Krose who’s looking for the Spring of the Drowned Man.”

“They’re both the same. To use some words that you would use, it’s simply modifying a few bits of data about an individual, which is quite easy for me. As long as you help me with one little thing, I’ll give you the Quest reward… as payment.]

“What’s that?”

I was really surprised now. This was the first time I had seen my System insist so much on giving me a Quest. I could sense how anxious she was. What would possibly make the Creator Goddess of Order worry so? Could it be that the Quest she was about to give me was to challenge a Chaos Main God? Or to hunt down some Supreme Immemorial Dragon?

[Help me spray the Spring of the Drowned Woman on that subordinate of yours who must not be named! I can sense that the elves’ divine beasts are about to give birth to terrifying creatures soon. This world is chaotic enough already. Even stranger creatures absolutely can’t be allowed to be born! Absolutely not! Why would such a bastard appear in the world? I can’t take it anymore! I definitely didn’t create such a thing!]

I was truly astonished. Beifeng’s feats were ridiculously inconceivable. He was even capable of making the Creator Goddess of Order hysteric? It seemed that his descendants were truly creations that challenged common sense and all norms.

Suddenly, two magic bottles materialized in midair, one with a blue liquid inside, and one with a red liquid inside. Astrya was even giving me the Quest reward before I even completed it? This wasn’t like how stingy she always was at all! It seemed that she had truly been frightened by Beifeng, who, by the way, was now ranked #1 on the Calamity Rankings.

Using the Spring of the Drowned Woman on Beifeng? Just imagining it seemed too wondrous to behold.

But, for some reason, I felt like even if Beifeng had his gender changed by the Spring of the Drowned Woman, that the System would still fail in achieving what she wanted… The end result would still probably be too ridiculous to behold. However, there was no harm in trying. It wasn’t like I would be the unlucky one.

As for refusing? I felt like I had no reason to refuse. This would be so interesting to watch… Ahem, I meant that I would be eliminating a menace for the world, and perhaps I could even have my name removed from the Calamity Rankings if I accomplished such a feat!

“Brother Roland, you’re practicing swordsmanship?” Reyne spoke up beside me, bringing me back to my senses. I simply nodded. I was shirtless while standing here on empty ground, so how else was I supposed to explain things apart from practicing swordsmanship? It wasn’t like I could tell her the truth that I was worried that my clothes might rip on me if I actually had any physical transformation from eating a Dusk Fruit.

Reyne instantly had a delighted expression when she heard that I was practicing swordsmanship.

“Then, Brother Roland, how about I practice together with you? I’ve made much progress over the years.”

I looked all around me, laughed, and said…

“I refuse. I won’t practice swordsmanship with an idiot who’s incapable of controlling her own strength. The moment that you fail to control your strength, this entire residence will be destroyed. This place is really important to me…”

I didn’t even need to finish my sentence. My unhesitating refusal already caused Reyne’s expression to crumple, which actually made me rather happy.

“…Right. Brother Roland, I heard that you’re about to revive Suana?”

This was probably why Reyne had come over to find me. I nodded in response. Since I had already begun the preparations, it was only natural that this had become the hottest gossip around.

“Um… I heard that only the natural undead can be revived?”

Reyne’s eyes were filled with expectation. It was obvious that she wanted to hear something different from me. I frowned as I now understood why she had come to talk to me.

“You want to revive your family members?”

“…Yeah.”

“I can’t do it. Not a single existence is capable of doing that for you.”

Several minutes later, I started feeling scared as I watched Reyne leave with her disappointment and depression.

I hadn’t lied, but I also hadn’t told the complete truth. The restriction of only being able to revive the natural undead had been completely made up by me. My power to revive the dead was far stronger than what I displayed.

Reyne already had an adamant will, but even she hadn’t been able to resist the temptation of potentially reviving her family. If I told her the truth—that I was capable of reviving someone who had just recently died—it was likely that the entire world would go crazy. Countless powerful individuals and rulers who were on the verge of death or had people close to them die recently would all come to give me trouble.

“…Luckily, I made preparations for this beforehand. But, it looks like I still need to make extra precautions against such trouble.”

Even though I had announced my fake limitations on revival, there would always be people out there capable of discerning the truth. Or, there would be people out there who would think, “What if he can still revive this person for me?” As long as more than 10 Level 4 individuals with such thoughts came for me, they would definitely go all out, which would be quite troublesome for me to deal with.

“In that case, I should really make this revival ceremony rather grandiose, even to the point where the great majority of people won’t be able to afford the payment for revival…”