The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: StarveCleric  Editor: StarveCleric

“Big Brother, your Swordsmanship is incredible. Can you teach me? I am called Adam and I am from White Stone Village. My goal is to become a Hero and marry Lisa. Afterwards… Go back to the village to brag to everyone! Right, I must also become a landowner so that I can be like old Peter living next door, being able to collect rent without working, smoking weed while staring at other people working…”

Back then, that silly-looking youngster stood in front of me. Despite not being even a Bronze-rank, he spoke so arrogantly of becoming a Hero. It was really a mystery where his confidence came from.

“Your movement is slow and your basics are weak. You don’t have any special bloodline and your ability to understand is weak. If it weren’t for your ability to think on the spot and make accurate decisions sometimes, you are as good as completely useless! You will not break through Silver-rank in your entire lifetime!”

Since I was free and bored, I decided to try training this untalented Swordsman. But very quickly, I lost my interest in him.

“Just a normal person. Not even qualified to serve as a cannon fodder.”

But, as a Holy Knight and a good elder brother, how could I say that.

“Good! You have the determination. Just follow the training schedule that I planned out for you. If you try your best to complete it, you would definitely become a great Hero.”

“Running 50km with weights of 50kg. Swing your sword for 20 000 times every day. Easy, easy!” Afraid that I wouldn’t teach him, Adam strikes his chest confidently in response.

I wasn’t lying to him. That is the training for the rookies of the Royal Knights of Mist Country. Just that, I casually increased the repetitions by 10 times. Rookies take around an hour to swing their sword 1000 times and the efficiency would become lower as they continue on. When the muscles have reached their limit, every additional swing will be a great torture to the body.

Within expectations, it didn’t take him long before he came running to me with sore arms, saying that he was unable to complete his training. At that moment, I would say ‘You are really lousy. Fine, I will lower my expectations’ while adjusting the training based on his situation.

However, I didn’t expect that this dim-witted youngster, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to finish his training, would sneak out at 3 in the morning and only come back at 4 in the morning the next day.

“Big Brother! I finished it!! You can check my work! The big tree by the river was cut by me!”

Do I still need to check? Looking at his battered body and those blisters on his hand, for the first time, I felt that this fool was a little cute.

“He didn’t notice that I was just playing with him? Looking at how his muscles are torn, it seems that he didn’t remove his weight even when he is practicing his swings. His foolishness really makes one at a loss for words.”

Thus, looking at the red-haired young lad who fell asleep while taking out a biscuit to eat, I decided to be more serious in my teachings.

Adam, with his numb body, laid on the bed for an entire day and when he found that he would have to remain in such a state for 3 more days, he tearfully took out the money for his food expenses for the next month to get a Priest to heal him. At that point, I said.

“Let’s adjust the training plan. Run 5km twice every day to warm up your body and do 2000 swings every day. When your basic strength is there, I will impart you true swordsmanship.”

When I said this, the young lad agreed

However, this time, he left home at 2 in the morning and returned at 12 at night.

“Hehe, Big Brother Rolo, I finished today’s training before 12! You don’t have to reduce the training repetitions! I know that I am dim-witted but as long as I am willing to work hard, I can definitely finish it.”

The young lad collapses after reporting to me happily. He managed to renew my understanding towards fools.

Thus, on the third day, I secretly followed him out.

Looking at the regret the foolish lad felt waking up at 4, he hammers his own head before realizing that he is wasting time. He quickly climbs up and starts to swing his sword with all his might. Looking at the sight of the total mess of swordsmanship, the skin on the arm that splits open from the aftershock of the swing and him gritting his teeth to endure the pain, I suddenly felt that I was getting slack.

“It seems that my expectation of myself has lowered recently. Then, let me start form the basics too, from 30000 swings.”

Un, that night, I returned home an hour earlier than that Fool-dam. During dinner, the hands that were serving the bowl were shaking. Of course, even so, I am still much better than Adam who was sleeping by the entrance.

TL: Fool-dam -> Foolish Adam

That night, I pulled the Fool-dam who was sleeping on the streets back. After pouring cold water on him to wake him up, I dumped all the basic techniques on gripping a sword and swinging it on him.

The second day, I realized that other than his diligence, his instincts and understanding towards swords are actually quite good, just that no one was willing to teach this countryside lad in the past.

“Let me go with 40000 swings today. I will finish it 2 hours earlier than that Fool-dam.”

When I started seriously imparting him skills, he realized that I was also practicing basic swings. He secretly added the number of swings to do, unwilling to lose to me.

As for me, how could I possibly be overtaken by that Fool-dam. My swinging speed is much faster than him and my physical strength is much higher than his. Furthermore, I can use Holy Light to heal myself. As long as our training duration is equally long, I would definitely get in more swings than him. Thus, he lost every single time.

“If I were to continue on like this without changing, I won’t be able to catch him to him my whole life.” Very quickly, the dim-witted him came up with this conclusion.

Thus, he started to research his own swordsmanship, how should he hold the sword when he stabs? How should he hold the sword when he slashes? How can he prevent wind resistance to increase the speed of his sword? I must say, once a fool devotes his effort into one goal, results would come out from his one-track mind.

Training with his sword, experimenting his skills, thinking about his shortcomings, refining his sword techniques, training with his sword, experimenting his skills… The dim-witted Swordsman has already found his own path. The only thing I can teach him is just other people’s experiences and high-level techniques.

However, since he is able to do it, there is no reason I can do it! So, my Swordsmanship also improved gradually.

“Fine, since we are around the same, so let’s pit our will.”

After that, we starting increasing my training goals to surpass each other. 20000 swings every day? Just an appetizer before breakfast. While moving about, we would swing our swords to slash imaginary foes. When we are the forest, we would cut leaves. When we are at the mountains, we would cut rocks. When we are at the ocean, we would cut water. Eventually, we can’t even remember how many swings we did each day. Without noticing, our sword speed also reached a speed where normal people can’t see it clearly.

Indeed, in the eyes of outsiders, our Swordsmanship come from the same school, the Monarch Swordsmanship. Without any fanciful tricks, our swords are fast, accurate and lethal. In reality, that is just the result from the accumulation of the basics. If we aren’t fast, accurate and lethal, then how could we finish our training plan and make it for dinner in time.

What is laughable is that in the future, people would call the dumb Adam as a genius in Swordsmanship. More like naturally dim-witted, I would say.

Afterwards, in order to make up for his lack of bloodline and special abilities, we hunted a Phoenix and stole the Phoenix Heart so as to help Adam obtain the Inheritance of the Phoenix.

Now, hundred years has passed and after going through countless battles and turmoil that can make one’s heart shatter, from a lad by the countryside, he completed his Hero dream and even more so, stands at the pinnacle of strength of humans. But, not long ago, he told me that he was tired and he intends to throw away everything to rest. To sleep for eternity.

Just thinking about this, my rage explodes.

“Idiot! Coward! Just a woman can turn you into that state! What about your dreams and goals? Your sword? The sword you spent so many years to forge? Those don’t matter at all? Tell me! Big Hero!”

I can understand the weariness that comes from the soul. It often bugs me, sometimes I wish that I could rest for eternity. But, how can I accept this kind of reality!

Sacred Sword Roland turns dull as the Holy Light fades away. However, my furious will causes the light of my soul to shine!

“Clang!”

Our swords clashed. Similarly, there isn’t any flame on the crimson-red God Sword. Towards my questions, Adam shouts with gritted teeth.

“What do you know! No matter how hard I tried, Lisa only looked at you! Even when she died on my shoulders, her final words were your name. Can you understand this kind of heart-shattering emotion!”

Rolling backwards, I dodge Adam’s vertical cut. Somehow, my eyes shot towards another direction. In that instant, Margaret’s head is lowered, she refuses to look at us. At the same time, she feels uneasy and the ground is slightly damp. Apparently, she has been crying secretly. Thus, my anger heightens!

“Lisa, Lisa, everything Lisa! You have been nagging about it for more than a hundred years! For a woman who have died for a hundred years, is this worth it! Is a dead person that perfect in your eyes? What about the living! Margaret has sacrificed so much for you, what do you intend to do!”

My furious roar causes Adam to stun for a moment. Then, he roars back with an even louder voice.

“I don’t know! I am stupid anyway, aren’t you all responsible for all the thinking! Come out with an idea for me!”

Acting dumb because you can’t face her? Messing around because you are forced into a corner?

The Adam who is messing around made me laugh. Thus…

“”A century passes in an instant, nothing is constant. Companions depart, only I continue existing. The cycle of the withering and blooming of flowers repeat every year, I only pray that I die in the midst of a bed flowers, remembering the past in a semi-drunk state…”

At this moment, Adam was dumbfounded. Isn’t this the poem of his philosophy? It can’t be that…

“The Severance of the River of Time!!”

“The Severance of the River of Time!!”

The blink of the light, the heartless time, the flash of a sword resembles the flowing water of a creek. A fallen leaf floats on the slow and clear water. Hundred years feel like a moment, a moment that is filled with the accumulation of memories. 2 exactly same Swordsmanship philosophy comes into contact with each other and both people return back to reality from their illusion, staring at each other furiously.

Lamenting the death of a beauty, the heartlessness of time. If we are talking about things that we lost, I definitely have much more than that fool. He only lost a crush while I can’t even remember loving the person. If Adam is able to comprehend the philosophical swordsmanship, there is no reason I am unable to comprehend it.

“Is such a simple sword skill worthy of being called profound? I am able to understand it so easily.”

“Hah, is that worth bragging? The feeling required for this philosophy is sadness. Being able to understand it easily? That can only mean that you are more pitiful than me!”

Of course, that hateful Adam. He is only sharp at times like this!

“You are only quick on the uptake on this kind of things. Your instincts are as hateful as usual. Then, look at this!”

With the Roland Sacred Sword in front me, this time, my eyes turned dark and all light seems to have been swallowed by the sharpness of my blade.

“Bitter over the early death of the young, bitter over the lonely widow, bitter over the passing of her, bitter over the destruction of homeland, bitter over the absence of friends, bitter over the sufferings of the masses. Secret Sword.Seven Bitter Sword.”

The silver longsword moves even without me swinging it. Different from the eye-catching Severance of the River of Time, the dark flash of the sword makes one instinctively avert their eyes yet somewhere in between, the sword splits into 7. Just like how it is impossible to avoid agony and pain in life, it quietly shrouds around your body.

This is the Swordsmanship Philosophy that I understood after shutting myself for half a month after seeing Adam’s Severance of the River of Time. Since he is able to comprehend the profoundness from the experiences and life of philosophers from East, then as someone originating from the East, there’s no reason why I am unable to do it!

“Clang!”

Even so, this new Sword of Philosophy is still completely blocked by that rapid swing of that God Sword.

“Now, I can be sure that you are much more pitiful than me. You are really worth sympathizing.”

Even though he is speaking words of sympathy, but that ungrateful man smiles gleefully, as though he has won something.

“You fool! I must teach you a lesson today! Why I am the big brother and you can only be the little brother!”

“Hehe, isn’t it enough for a Holy Knight to just use his Holy Light? Using Swordsmanship to challenge a pure Warrior Swordsman genius? Dream on!”

The crimson-red God Sword and the silver Sacred Sword cross blows continuously. We were attacking each other happily. All kinds of depressing philosophy come pouring out and sarcasms aimed at the opponent’s weak spots shoot out endlessly. At the same time, we laughed loudly and happily. It has been long since I had such a great time.

I possess the body of a Heroic Spirit which knows not of death and tiredness while Adam has a true indestructible body. This battle is bound to be a long one.

Not too far away, looking at the two men who have forgotten everything and were laughing happily, the calm and tranquil Margaret of usual grits her teeth tightly and anger and hatred fills her entire face.

“Adam and Roland, you both said that adults were selfish. From what I can see, it should be that men are selfish! Annie, remember it, next time you find a lover, you must not find one like these two bastards! Even if you fall in love, you must break up immediately!”

Beside her, Annie nods her head, seeming to not really understand what was told to her. She looks on worriedly at the fight between her Uncle Bones and her godfather.

“So Uncle Bones used to be so cute.” Somehow, she remembers the promise and the message her godfather told her awhile back. The young lady blushes. Margaret’s warning seems to be in vain.

“Is that really Swordsmanship?” Seeing the foreign eastern Philosophical Swordsmanship for the first time made Fayde and the rest engrossed in this duel. The profoundness of these skills requires emotions and the state of mind. Rather than saying that it is a sword technique, it has already reached the depths of Rules where magic can’t hope to reach. It is totally different from the mainstream sword techniques in this world which pursues strength and destructive ability. This duel is equivalent to opening an entirely new world for these swordmasters.

Since the battle has ended, other than the few remaining audience, the Red Hunting Hounds and the rest has disbanded. Their goal is to head to a restaurant or some other locations. After all, it isn’t the time to waste their time with their physical bodies. They must make every second count.

In this instant, I was still racking my brains on how to beat down this bastard which refuses to fall. However, his face suddenly changes and fire shoots out from his back, plunging his surroundings into flames.

“Looks like time’s up.”

The helpless Adam smiles bitterly. The recent battles caused his body to instinctively borrow more power from the Phoenix Heart and it seems that he has finally reached the end of his time. His physical body which has reached it limit can no longer restrain the Phoenix Heart.

Looking at this situation, I grit my teeth, intending to fulfill my final promise. But Adam suddenly starts to regret.

“No, Roland, I feel that since you even more pitiful than me, so I should do it myself so as that you won’t be even more miserable.”

Fire shrouds the entire body of Adam. With a quick motion, he stabs his right hand into his left chest. After the splatter of blood and flesh, a fire-red object is dug out.

“Phoenix Heart!”

Yes, the so-called Phoenix Heart is not the name of some treasure or some description. It is a true beating heart of a Phoenix.

After losing his heart, Adam didn’t die immediately. Instead, he smiles while looking at the pink heart in his hands.

“Back then, for this object, we spent more than 2 years tracking and hunting down the Phoenix. Even after Little Red ‘exposed her identity’ and used the entirety of her strength, we still ended up lying in the church for a month after the incident. Actually, I have been regretting since then for accepting the Inheritance of the Phoenix. I almost caused the death of the entire team.”

After looking at it for the final time, he casually passes the most precious Phoenix Heart to me.

“I still have to trouble you in the end. I am sorry, Big Brother Rolo. I have bothered you with many things in my lifetime. It looks like I won’t be able to see the creation of the great world in your dreams. But, Big Brother, you are so amazing, I’m sure nothing can stop you. You will definitely succeed.”

After the passing of so much time, hundred years later, he still called me Big Brother just like back then, when we were adventuring.

Looking at the heartless person with a big hole in his chest, looking at this little brother of mine who felt regret being unable to see the world in my dreams, what else can I say?

When he can stand no longer, Adam collapses by the side of the rock wall.

Looking at him, I am at a loss of words. Finally, a feeling that I never had before arises from me, make me unable to suppress my words no longer, makes the lump in my throat disappears.

“Foolish lad, I want to let you see it. If you all aren’t here, then what meaning is there to my dream! Dumbass, treat it as the pleading of your big brother, live on.”

Indeed, even if peace were to really come, what meaning would it have if I ended up alone in this world.

The tears of the dead drips drop by drop on Adam’s face. But, he still looks at me with that silly smiling face.

“Big Brother, we have known each other for so many years but this is the first time I see you shedding tears. Hehe, should I be proud? But, I am really tired. I have done everything that I wanted to this life and I am contented. Let me rest.”

In a confusion, Little Red lands to the surface and the blue figure closes in. Even when she cannot see him clearly anymore, her words still come pouring out.

“Selfish! Bastard! You never consider other people’s feelings!”

Looking at the tearful young lady, Adam opens her mouth to say something but in the end, it turns into a weak apology.

“I’m sorry, Margaret. I am really sorry… If there is an afterlife, I will definitely marry you.”

I suddenly felt an urge to convert Adam into an Undead or Heroic Spirit. But Adam seemed to have seen through my thoughts and mustered his strength to shake his head towards me.

“Bastard! Your instincts are only spot-on at times like this!”

Unable to look on at Adam’s final farewell, I turned around. But, when I looked at that foreign yet familiar figure, I was stunned.

“In the end, I still feel like meeting Lisa. At least, give me a chance to confess…” This is the final farewell from Adam, words that he was afraid to say so as to not hurt Margaret.

After hundred years have passed, the figure of the young lady that he had a crushed on has already become blurry in his memories, needless to say to love her. Maybe, Adam knows that he has driven himself up a corner, trapping himself in the memories of the past. Just that, he really finds himself unable to take that step forward.

“Fine. Say it. I am listening.”

That is a familiar voice, the voice that echoes in his dreams countless times. Adam widens his eyes in disbelief.

“Lisa!!”

Yes, that is the Great Thief Lisa. Equipped in light leather, high-cut boots with many different tools and daggers by her waist.

But, in our eyes, the traits of the Demons that were covered by her illusion were obvious. She is obviously Elisa dressed up as Lisa. But, how would she know the dressing habits of Lisa?

“Why are you looking at me so bizarrely? Right, Big Brother Rolo, I must thank you. You pulled me out from the River Styx on time. After breaking into the realm of Legends and awakening my true Demon name, my memories have all returned.

Could it be that a miracle has happened? Demon Nobles will remember memories of the past but it would be just like watching the life of others. However, Elisa is not a complete Demon yet. At that moment, too many possibilities rushes into my mind and my brain turns into mush in a moment.

“I… I.”

Even though the one in his dreams is just in front of him, but he just couldn’t say the words ‘I like you’. Instead, his eyes were somehow attracted by Margaret, who is crying by the side.

The cold beauty of the past has turned into a tearful lady. Despite being obsessed with hygiene, mud was all over her and yet, she pays it no heed and simply sits there, weeping.

“Why are you looking at Big Sister Margaret? Is the target of your confession her and not me?”

The death of his loved one in his embrace in the greatest regret of his life. When his memories continuously beautified the dead, it became a dead knot. No human is completely emotionless. Perhaps, he has already been conquered by the cold-faced warm-hearted Saint who quietly sacrificed for him for a hundred years, just that he kept rejecting the possibility using Lisa as a reason.

Now that Lisa has appeared in front of him, escaping is no longer possible. He doesn’t even know what kind of feelings he was harboring for Margaret in this instant.

In terms of feelings, there are memories that will be continuously beautified and past grudges. The dead can never be beaten. In this instant, the conflict in his emotions for many years, the intangible dead knot, under the miracle of the resurrection of the dead, has started to undo.

“Alright, even if you confess to me, my answer would still be ‘I’m sorry, you are a good person. The one I like is Big Brother Rolo’. Right, Fool-dam, Big Brother Rolo and I have started dating. If you don’t believe me, you can ask him.”

“Me?” Just when I was stunned, Elisa’s words ring by my ear.

“Master, do you remember the favor you owe me? Accept my confession. That is my condition.”

That familiar way of calling me made me confirm that the one in front of me is Elisa. Somehow, I heaved a sigh of relief. After hesitating for a short while, I nodded my head.

“Un, we just started dating. I didn’t have the time to tell you.”

“Wait. If you both are dating, then I would have died ridiculously for other people’s woman, wouldn’t I become a big laughingstock! Hey, you both are teasing me right?”

Adam’s sharp instincts, as usual, are sharp in unneeded times. By the side, Margaret, sensing the changes, is overjoyed. She immediately stops the time of Adam’s physical body so that he wouldn’t die on the spot.

Looking at this situation, I understood in an instant. I smiled.

“Fine, then continue living. I have a few proposals here. For example, join my army?”

“I don’t want!”

It is ‘I don’t want’ and not ‘I don’t want to live’. In that instant, we are ecstatic.

From the way how Adam keeps on secretly peeking at Margaret, I somehow guessed that it wasn’t the appearance of Lisa that changed his mind. Rather, Lisa’s appearance made him unable to continue avoiding it, forcing him to face Margaret’s feelings head on. Naturally, his thought of dying disappears.

“Fine, I still have dozens of proposals…”

“Remove those which are obviously bringing me down! To become other people dog, I don’t want to fight for those hypocritical Gods.”

“Tsk, then there is only one remaining. I will remove the Titan Heart from Roland No.2 and together with the Titan Core that I obtained from the auction (stolen it previously, the outer skin of the Titan Heart), we will make you a man-made Titan Heart. You have seen the 500-year-old cradle of a Phoenix, have you seen a Titan die of old age? Your physical body will rapidly become one belonging to the Titans. However, your attribute will turn from fire into lightning and that Titan Heart is still far inferior from the Phoenix Heart, these will cause your strength to fall rapidly for a short period of time. Are you still willing?”

“Ok! Do it quickly, I had enough of the empty feeling in my body, it feels awful.”

Somehow, seeing how this stubborn fellow is finally enlightened, we all heaved a sigh of relief together. Frenzy joy fills our heart and we smile to each other.

But, the Roland Sacred Sword which is gradually shortening, returning back to its original form, reminds me I don’t have much time left.

Fortunately, Kakajil did something good through the permanent Spatial Distortion. Little Red was able to retrieve the Titan Heart and Titan Core from Vance City swiftly. Furthermore, I did the operation personally, making it much more successful this time round.

Very quickly, when everyone surrounds Adam, who has just been operated on, and Annie, I leave silently. The trouble with Adam has finally been settled and now, it is time for me to achieve my aspirations.

Returning back to the Sulfur Mountain City Court, Elisa is already waiting for me there. Holding in her hands is the Origin of Codex.

“Alright, it is time to shock the world. The Law Faction, it is about time it should have a true God.”

Alright, I used philosophical swordsmanship to describe the technique. While I did say it is philosophical (and this is the closest word I can find), there is also the idea of profoundness (after all, you are able to evoke this philosophy in your swordsmanship), so it is supposed to be a hard technique to grasp.

Also, rather than creating techniques for this philosophical swordsmanship, it’s described like it somehow comes to you. Like how eating comes instinctively to you and there’s one way around it. You can only ‘understand’ it, you can’t ‘create’ it (just like how you can understand how to eat, but you can’t create how to eat)

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