The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: imperfectluck  Editor: Kurisu

The Holy Light I summoned ignited the entire sky. The shadows of an angel clashing with a dragon above the clouds could be seen from the ground. Just the power that they released kept blowing clouds away. Just how fierce of a battle could this be?

But actually, I was using the Holy Light to obscure my secret conversation with Little Red.

“…Basically, there’s a change in plans. We need to hurry to the 100th level to meet with Adam and Margaret. It’s been so long already, so Margaret’s probably brought that idiot who has no sense of direction here by now. Then, we need to go together to find that Sun God from the first generation.”

I didn’t intend to take my time playing games with the residents of the Chaos Abyss anymore. I had now stayed in this damp and cold swamp for almost a month. I felt like mushrooms were about to sprout from my shoes. And considering the damned weather down here, they would likely be toxic mushrooms!

“God Equipment!”

Little Red’s answer was incredibly simple and direct in response to my request. She also kept staring to the left at the red-eyed lizardmen tribe leader who was currently jumping up and down. It seemed that he was quite anxious from seeing his side’s red dragon be at an apparent “disadvantage”.

It would seem that Little Red was absolutely dead-set on obtaining that God Equipment which was capable of controlling dragon beasts. She basically meant that she absolutely wouldn’t leave here until I helped her obtain the God Equipment.

“Just what is that?”

I was rather curious myself. Little Red was no newbie who had never seen God Equipment before. What God Equipment would possibly attract her interest to such a degree?

“…It’s highly likely to be the heart of some Supreme Immemorial Dragon God from the past that probably died here in the Chaos Abyss. That heart will be one of the best possible resources for me. It also likely includes that Dragon God’s personal experiences and understandings…”

I instantly realized why she wanted it so much. Dragons were famously long-lived, but this came at the cost of progressing much slower in power level. With such long lives, they could naturally power up through cultivation. Of course, a dragon wouldn’t let go of any chance to improve their own power level.

Dragons’ growth was rather unique. They were also capable of transforming their personal Concepts into physical Myth-ranked weapons. But for them, what material could possibly be more precious than their physical body that was born with such a great advantage over the extreme majority of other species? That was why dragons’ chosen personal Concepts typically combined with some part of their body to strengthen themselves.

If a dragon died, its bones, flesh, and meat would naturally decay with time. However, its organ that had once hosted the dragon’s personal Concept would typically be preserved far longer.

This was the foundational reason why the corpse of a powerful dragon would be a valuable treasure, and why Dragon Queens’ and Dragon Gods’ corpses would be incomparably valuable.

After spending some time with the lizardmen tribe, Little Red had been able to identify that God Equipment. She kept feeling more and more like this was a rare chance, but this actually made her afraid to use brute force. She became far more restrained.

The lizardmen altar where the heart was stored was guarded 24/7. Not only that, it was also protected by voodoo magic. Since there were multiple different types of defenses on the heart, it would be quite difficult to deal with each one in one attack. If the lizardmen decided to destroy the heart at the moment that Little Red attacked, Little Red wouldn’t even have enough time to cry.

“I doubt that the lizardmen are even capable of destroying that heart.”

“Who knows? I’m afraid of the worst possible scenario. Previously, I spent so much effort in finally obtaining an eye of a dead Supreme Immemorial Dragon. Yet, Annie used it as a football and kicked it with all her might. When I finally found the dragon eye again, its round shape had become completely flat. I was so heartbroken…”

“…That was why you hung Annie up on a tree for half a night back in the day? If it had been me, I would have cooked that naughty child in a frying pan filled with oil!”

“You’re just nothing but talk. You spoil children even more than I do. Are you still intending to stall with Elisa? If you don’t decisively make a break with her, you’ll probably sink deeper and deeper into things. In the end, you’ll probably meet an ending by… what-chet again?”

“A hatchet ¹ …”

I couldn’t help but smile bitterly upon hearing this. While I could deal with other things, my ridiculously messy love problems were truly impossible for me to deal with. Fortunately for me, Elisa was still in the Land of Spring. I hoped that she could understand me if I stalled her for a while longer…

“Understand? She long since understands you quite well. She just doesn’t want to give up on you. By the way, don’t you think something seems wrong about this? Aren’t the two of you supposed to be fighting each other? How did the two of you start talking about how to raise naughty children? Even if you’re only acting, you should act a little more serious. Be more serious, you’re fighting each other!”

Finally, my hat was unable to watch this anymore… no, I didn’t use the wrong word here. Why did I say my hat? Ever since I finished with teasing my cat, her sharp fangs had remained embedded in my skull from all this time. From a long distance, it looked like I was wearing a cat-eared hat, but actually I was feeling pain to the extent where I constantly needed to send Holy Light healing to my head.

If this was an MMORPG game, it was likely that my current condition would be represented by a bleeding status effect, with constant damage notifications of “-1”, “-1” in red… And the occasional “+167” of health restoration magic in green.

I hid so high up in the sky for my mock fight with Little Red also because of this “bleeding effect” hat on my head. It was probably impossible to act serious like this.

But still, Harloys’ reminder indeed helped me to get back to the topic at hand. I needed to help Little Red obtain the heart God Equipment as quickly as possible so that we could leave this dimensional level together.

For some unknown reason, I kept feeling like I was being targeted by someone. This was an instinctive ominous premonition. Sometimes, the instinct of the strong was a type of weapon in and of itself. My ominous premonitions for my upcoming misfortunes were also always incredibly on the mark.

“Is this your personal experience as a master jinxer? Or an instinct honed from being hunted down countless times?”

“Shut up and go obediently be a hat.”

I experienced another round of biting and pain on my head that required more Holy Light healing. I then rubbed my chin that finally had some slight fuzz growing as I made my decision.

“The best way to get that complete heart undamaged is to have them voluntarily give it to Little Red…”

I then smiled at Little Red as we exchanged knowing glances.

In front of all the spectators on the ground, I made it so that there was a clearly visible shadow of me enlarging and summoning a giant sword that viciously slashed into the red dragon.

“Ahhh! You damned Holy Knight and damned God of Holy Light! You actually forcefully used God’s Descent down here in the Chaos Abyss!” the red dragon screamed in pain as blood (fake) splattered down like rain. She directly fell out of the sky.

Next, a beam of white Holy Light sliced through the air and fired downward at a meteoric speed.

“Tribe leader Grayblade!”

*BOOOOOOOOM!!!*

The lizardmen shouted in panic, their voices combining with a loud explosion. When the smoke finally dissipated, a large pit had appeared in the ground right next to Bloodspear tribe leader Grayblade’s feet.

Grayblade panickily looked right at the pit next to him. He knew that he had almost been vaporized instantly—he was saved by the mere distance of one meter. If he died just like that, his tribe leader position and all the beautiful female lizardmen that were his wives would all be taken by someone else!

Grayblade looked above him and saw that Holy Knight with wings of light seeming like he was looking directly at Grayblade. The Holy Knight looked at him like he was prey cornered by the greatest predator. That Holy Knight’s naked killing intent seemed so near even though he was still far away in the sky. Grayblade instantly felt a chill down his back and began to tremble all over.

“Hurry, give her, give her that heart!”

Grayblade swiftly went over all the possibilities in his mind. If he died right here, he would no longer have anything. But if he could help that red dragon defeat the Holy Knight, even if that red dragon ended up ignoring him afterwards, at least he would still be alive.

*Boom!*

*Boom!*

Some more explosive beams of Holy Light rained down and exploded everywhere. It seemed like that Holy Knight was now using indiscriminate AOE attacks.

“Hurry and give it to her!!!” Grayblade screamed at the top of his lungs. The lizardmen who were filled with anxiety for their own safety moved at top speed. In just a short moment, a grayish-white heartstone was brought over to the red dragon where she had fallen onto the ground.

Naturally, the Holy Knight wouldn’t simply sit back and watch them do this. But at this moment, four adult black dragons suddenly flew down from the clouds and spat venomous green dragonbreath at the Holy Knight.

Heh heh heh, my script was absolutely perfect! I even had side characters involved!

As long as the lizardmen lost their God Equipment dragon heart, the dragon beasts that they summoned would naturally leave them. Their ambitions to conquer this entire dimensional level would then vanish into nothing. And as long as I completed this, I could then use the dark dwarves’ teleportation portal and leave this damned dimensional level with no other worries as the dark dwarves would no longer be faced with the threat of the lizardmen.

“Hurry, give it to me, with this I’ll be able to…”

But right as Little Red was about to obtain the God Equipment that she desired so much, two large caped figures appeared in midair at this time.

“We’ve actually managed to find him so easily?”

Even the devils hunting Roland down didn’t think that they would be so fortunate. Or, perhaps it should be said that Roland was truly just that unfortunate.

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