The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: StarveCleric  Editor: StarveCleric

It was total chaos within the brilliant golden chapel. Even when the organizer tried his best to main order, he couldn’t stop the commotion among the underground city lords.

Even though they were tricked, to be able to make this proposal pass in the Conference, it could also be attributed to Sulfur Mountain City’s might. The decisions made in the Conference weren’t a game and couldn’t be change, otherwise the basic trust in the Alliance will waver.

The Fifth Autarch — Sulfur Mountain City, these are the phrases that comes up often during the chatters which underground city lords are engaged in now. Many of them had begun to accept it as reality within their hearts.

A sudden emergence of a new Underground Autarch means a reshuffling of the powers within the Alliance. In the worst-case scenario, it might even incite thousands of battles to rewrite the territories of the biggest factions. These sudden circumstances represent endless trouble… and a hard-to-come-by opportunity.

None of the underground city lords who are qualified to sit in this Inner Hall are easy to deal with. These days, everyone has their own ambitions and since Sulfur Mountain City is able to climb up to the top spot, then there’s no reason the rest can’t do the same. Furthermore, the new Autarch still lacks supporter. Perhaps, some will take this as an opportunity to side with him to win themselves resources and backing… Countless desires and ideas made the underground city lord’s mind start to turn and naturally, the Inner Hall’s atmosphere becomes bizarre and lively.

As for my conflict with the Dragon Empress, other than the few people who sit near to us, there weren’t many people who noticed it.

It is a pity as that means not much of the crowd would notice the Dragon Empress Molly, who strikes fear in the entire Underground World, acting like an infuriated old cat, baring her teeth towards a small gnome. Furthermore, she could only express her wrath verbally. Despite being an Underground Autarch, she doesn’t dare to start fighting in the Conference Hall.

What that is even more pitiable is that despite the Dragon Empress, who is used to be being unreasonable, is going to be reasonable for once, but the silly-looking gnome isn’t giving her any face.

TL: The exact meaning for ‘isn’t giving her any face’ is inflexible mind.

“What… What are you staring at! Stare… Stare some more and I will eat you!”

The gnome who is full of big words ignores the restraint of the Dragon Queen. His arrogance causes the surrounding audience’s eyes to fall to the floor. But I know that this threat isn’t just for show. When Ah Dang says that he will eat her, it means that he really intents to eat her and, he probably has the ability to carry out the action.

TL: Full of big words -> The exact phrase is an adjective used to refer to a person talking big and still not regretful/ashamed etc. about it

But, the base is still under attack right now. It isn’t the moment to be wasting time with the Dragon Queen who is obviously trying to drag our feet.

“Ah Dang, before I allow you to, you aren’t to eat any living thing.”

Ah Dang’s face bitters instantly, but he still nods his head in reply.

However, it is fortunately that Ah Dang’s brother gave him another name, Ya Dang Si, preventing the Dragon Queen from recognizing Ah Dang from his nickname from the start… Even though Ah Dang sounds nice, why can’t we use it as his real name. I have pondered over this question but couldn’t understand the reason.

TL: Can’t think for a good name for him so I’ll just direct translate his name for now.

“Ah Bas (Demonic Spatial Hellhound Bastian) too. To think that the head of the Four Heavenly Kings, the elder brother of the Seven Deadly Sins Wrath, would reject the name I bestowed on it. Look how obedient are Ah Bao (Chromaggus) and Ah Dang. Now that they are used to their nickname, I doubt that they will remember it even if you call their real name.”

From nowhere, a familiar voice sounds from the emergency communication channel that we agreed on earlier.

“Are you here yet? There are 3 Undead Lords of the level of Xiluo Senator. I can’t hold out for long. If you don’t back us up soon, I will bring the rest of the guys to flee.”

There wasn’t a single trace of pride of the Dragon Tribe seen in the legends, running away decisively when the odds aren’t in their favor. In reality, Little Red is just following the standard Dragon Tribe way of doing things. On the contrary, the Dragons find themselves unable to comprehend why the Dragon Tribes in the epics would they fight to their death.

“Why aren’t they escaping even though they can’t beat the opponent? They even landed down to fight with those metal can foot soldiers, are they stupid?”

However, from Little Red’s more and more panicked urging, I shouldn’t waste any more time.

“Go.”

I grab the hand of Ah Dang, who was acting very aggressively towards the Dragon Empress, while intentionally ignoring the stare behind me which was getting more and more colder and Ah Dang’s mysterious saliva while staring at the Dragon Empress… The Dragon Empress grabs her leg, grimacing in pain. She didn’t try to stop us. Unexpectedly, she found herself instinctively fearing that shorty, both her eyes were filled with confusion.

“Heh, slowly think about it. I don’t believe that you would be able to guess that the small gnome would be the savage ‘Carnivore’ Ya Dang Si.”

However, from the vicious stare the Dragon Empress shot us with, the trouble has just begun.

“Elisa, you stay behind to help Annie. I don’t feel at ease leaving her here alone.”

“No, I want to go… Besides, didn’t you say that you want to train her so that she can stand up individually? This is such a good chance for her.”

I turn back in shock. It is rare to see Elisa persisting on a matter. “I feel like there’s something ahead waiting for me. I must go. Perhaps, this would be useful to me in breaking through to the Legend realm.”

Those who are in a bottleneck will tend to have intuitions of plausible opportunities for them to break through. Since she has already said so, there is no reason for me to stop her.

“Diana and Victoria, enter the Inner District to support Annie. Victoria, it is your turn to perform, don’t let me down. Diana, if there is anyone who tries to stop you both from entering, feel free to beat them up. No.3 and No.4, remain here to support them. The rest of the Roland Robots, follow me back, we have something up at our base.”

After delegating simple instructions, I left Xueti in charge and jumps onto Roland No.2 to take a free ride back. ‘Boom’, ‘boom’ a series of earthquakes made the buildings by the side of the road shake.

Sitting on the head of No.2, I close my eyes, deep in thoughts. Behind me, Elisa consoles me.

“Rest easy, with Lord Einz Mezus (Little Red) there and those defensive power we left in the base, nothing bad will happen.”

I nod my head in silence. I will never tell her that I wasn’t worrying just now, it was just that I was hesitating over whether I shouting ‘Autobots, roll out!’ or ‘Decepticons, roll out!’ would be cooler.

However, looking at the tension on the faces around me, I think I should adapt to the situation and don’t say things that would make me get beaten up.

“Hahaha, so fun! Ah Pa, this isn’t a living thing. Can I eat?”

The salivating Ah Dang is bouncing around like a pinball due to the movements of the Robot. Even so, there’s not a single possibility of him falling down. In this instant, he is even pointing at the Roland No.2 beneath his feet. It looks like the massive figure of the Robot has evoked his appetite.

“You can’t, Ah Dang. Also, you aren’t allowed to call me Ah Pa here, just call me Wumianzhe or Lord will do.”

“Okay, Ah Pa.”

“Wumianzhe…”

“Okay, Ah Pa.”

“I X, can you stop being so inflexible.”

“…Ah Pa, Ah Dang is not inflexible. Ah Pa is Ah Pa.”

Alright, considering that this joke has been overused and no longer serves comedic purpose, I will skip the see-saw interaction between me and Ah Dang. In the end, with Elisa looking at the commotion with a smile, I admitted defeat, allowing him to call me whatever he pleases. I don’t care anymore.

However, it seems that Elisa knew from the start that this little gnome can’t be my blood-related son. Her performance in the Hall is just her habitual venomous tongue acting up.

“You just had to learn from that gutless Margaret. Saints are used to looking at changes from the perspective of an onlooker. However, sometimes being an onlooker means that you are playing a passive role, thinking too much and over-considering everything, resulting in the lack of courage to change. Putting everything else aside, let’s just talking about her feelings. If only she had a little more courage, she could have just pressured Adam and force the fool to take responsibility. As for why did she drag the matter until now, it is because she is too gentle and too considerate about other people’s feelings. Sometimes, it might not be a good thing. Isn’t being a little selfish good? There isn’t such a thing as a happy ending for everyone in the world.”

Hesitating for a moment, I upped the volume of my ‘mumblings’.

“Margaret is Margaret. Elisa is Elisa. If you can’t even recognize this, you don’t qualify to create a Soul Imprint that belongs solely to you, you can’t show the world that you are an existence that surpasses the mortals and you won’t be able to open up your path as a Legend above the rest.”

The sharp-eared Elisa could hear my ‘muted’ mumbling clearly. Her delicate body jolts and the expression she looks at me with is complicated… It was enough saying to this point, it could even be said to be excessive. I turn my head to question Ah Dang.

“Ah Dang, you probably didn’t come alone right. Who brought you here?”

“Big Sister Gria.”

“Who?” I blank out for a moment. There isn’t anyone named Gria within the Undead Lords. Could it be a super rookie who appeared recently? To be able to bring Ah Dang without ending up as spare ration, this isn’t what a normal Undead Lord is capable of.

“It… It’s that Big Sister who sings very badly!” Hearing that I didn’t understand him, Ah Dang’s hands waved about in a panic.

“Oh, it’s Gray.Sin! You can just say the Throat of Death. Could it be that there are too many victims recently that her reputation took a plunge, so she decided to change her name to scam others to attending her Concert of Death?” Hearing that the person sings very badly, I immediately thought of the familiar Bone Dragon Queen.

Gria’s singing has reached the level of polluting one’s mind. Yet, she is totally oblivious to it. Her actions that keeps creating new victims consistently is even more famous than she herself.

“Other than Ah Pa, if other people call her that, Big Sister Gria will beat them up. Ah Dang don’t want to be beaten.”

“Hehe, it can’t be that you can’t defeat her. My Ah Dang won’t lose to any one of the Senators.”

“No, Ah Dang don’t hit Big Brother and Big Sister. Ah Dang is obedient. Whoever who bullies Big Brother, Big Sister and Ah Pa, Ah Dang will beat him up. Ah Pa, is Ah Dang obedient?”

“Very obedient! This is what I call a good kid.” I happily carry this small cutie and turn around to wink at Elisa, hinting her that this is how a good kid should be like.

“…Yes, such a regret. You were such a cute little girl then, exactly where went wrong to create the venomous-tongued housewife today…”

Alright, in consideration of my precious collection, these words in my mind better stay in my mind. I better not challenge her.

“Ah Pa, Ah Pa. Big Sister Gria flies very fast. I let her go help the fight first.”

The little gnome sucks in his mucus as he jumps about with a face of expectation, just like a kid waiting to be praised.

“Does she know the location?”

“…I, I asked her to fly South-West of the city. Beat up annoying people on the way.” It may seem unbelievable, but this kind of experts who are lacking in intelligence that even their cultivation depends on instincts, the intuition is often much stronger than rational thinking. Apparently, Ah Dang and Adam belongs to the type from thinks with their body, depending heavily on their intuition.

“…Bone Dragon Queen Gray.Sin is here, she is actually here to help me…” Little Red’s message makes me heave a sigh of relief. Gray.Sin’s singing throat may be unreliable, but her fighting prowess is definitely reliable.

But, if we remain with our passive approach, problems will occur sooner or later. We can’t just depend on others. We are still at least 20 minutes away from our base. Besides, what if I reach the field and end up getting recognized by those familiar fellows…

Back then, from the intelligence of the Dark Elf spy then, I knew that even if Lord Yongye is sealed, the Dragon Empress would not dare to lift the seal. The Underground World will also treat it as an extremely dangerous existence that should remain sealed forever. If Lord Yongye really reappears… Maybe, the battle between the surface and the underground can be stopped and change into an alliance army to hunt down Lord Yongye.

“Ah Dang, change to your flying model. Allow me to enter.”

Ah Dang nods his head. With a stomp of his feet, he is immediately shrouded within a dark fog. A few seconds later, when the dark fog scatters with the light of the divine arts, the lively gnome disappears. On the ground where he was standing on is a beautiful Silver-Plated Sky Dragon. It is more than 20-meter long without any legs. There isn’t a strand of hair on its entire body and instead, there are 6 gigantic metal wings.

Ah Dang’s entire body is equipped with a heavy metal armor that seems as solid and heavy as the city walls. But, looking carefully, the tough armor is all grown within the flesh. Even more so, the triangular-shaped Dragon head is filled with traces of metal all around. Countless spare parts are lodged into the flesh. The gears of its 4 limbs are rotating a high speed. This is a perfect harmony between machine and a body of flesh. The Sky Dragon seems like a perfect art work, totally different from the common idea of an Abomination.

TL: It says spare parts but not sure what these spare parts refer to. Probably just bits and pieces of metal I guess

“Ah Dang, Ah Dang, roll out!!!”

Elisa and I walk into the control room within the Dragon’s body. After a dragon roar with traces of a child’s voice within, the 6 wings of the Dragon stretch out and crimson-red inferno shoots out. Just like a rocket car, Ah Dang uses the counter-force to launch himself out.

It may seem smooth within the control room, but gauging from the rapidly retreating scenery, a normal gigantic Dragon probably don’t even qualify to eat his dust.

TL: Think of vehicles on the desert -> Dust flies up.

An Abomination that can transform? Sounds incredulous? Actually, it isn’t. It is the cornerstone and shackles for his existence.

The original sin that Ah Dang represents is ‘Gluttony’. Gluttony, to be direct, simply mean excessive appetite and appetite is the most basic need of a living being.

Living beings need to ingest food and digest them as nutrients. The basic motive is for survival and to grow stronger so that they can achieve victory in the cruel natural world and gain the opportunity to evolve.

Gluttony = Evolution + Survival.

When this equation formed in my brain, history’s smallest Abomination was born. It was only 1.2 meter and couldn’t even raise a pebble. His only ability was to eat…

Abominations are basically the melding of corpses together, making it suited to meld other living beings together with it and evolve without boundaries.

It is able to integrate the strength of the prey he eats into his own flesh and very soon, after several wars, a mountain-like Corpse Monster became the nightmare of all living souls. But then, on one occasion when he was ingesting, he self-exploded.

I analyzed the reasons for failure and that is because no living being or dead being can evolve continuously and exceed the limits of their physical body. Overly powerful strength, due to the complex structure of the flesh, will only cause deformity and self-destruction.

Then, when the equation of excessive evolution = self-destruction has been formed, the next step is to set a goal, direction and limit for his evolution… Fine, I admit that I copied a certain masked knight with many forms in this process.

TL: Masked knight refers to Kamen Rider.

The experiments weren’t all smooth-sailing. More than a dozen of experimental subjects self-destructed, the only one successful was Ah Dang

After that, I set certain goals for Ah Dang. A transformation for normal battles, a transformation with flight ability, a transformation with diving ability, a full offensive transformation and such, then I allowed him to eat as he pleases to evolve.

For example, no matter how many genes that are suited for high-speed flying are swallowed, they are only limited to the flight transformation. For example, after ingesting the wings of a Sky Dragon and the wings of a Phoenix, he will use the better gene to build his own wings while the weaker gene will serve as backup and ration… After swallowing and merging like this a couple of times, naturally, the perfect flying transformation will be created.

Stealing the claws of the Behemoth, stealing the wings from the gigantic Dragons and stealing the talent to use Holy Light from the Angels, Ah Dang is really the perfect living being and a terminal existence.

Fine, this design concept has succeeded but without doubt, I have gone too far… On theory, Ah Dang who is always evolving can eventually evolve to the point where he can slaughter Gods. Of course, in order to reach such a level, he must first consume several SemiGods without bloating himself to death. However, I feel that before this happen, Mother Earth will first send down a hand to slap me to death for creating this unnatural monster capable of destroying the world.

Fortunately, perhaps due to its excessive strength and limitless potential, he was envied by the heavens. No matter how much I try, I am unable to increase Ah Dang’s intelligence. Magic and martial arts cannot be executed on instincts itself. The lack of sufficient intelligence restricts him from maximizing the potential of his flesh. This is also why he, despite obviously having the strength to be number 1 among the Senators, he is ranked first from the last.

However, if we were to separate the physical body and the brain, then put a pilot into the physical body to serve as a pilot, then the lack of intelligence wouldn’t be a problem. Fine, I admit that I copied from the gigantic robots who always bully those little monsters for Ah Dang’s design concept… However, a hero’s origin isn’t questioned. No matter whether it is a black cat or white cat, a cat that can catch a mouse is a good cat, isn’t that right?

“Ah Dang, how many transformations do you have that are at least of A rank?”

“There is a total of 12. 9 of the battle transformations are S rank and above and among them, the Ferocious Beast Form and City Siege Form is SS rank.”

Hearing that, I can’t help but to click my tongue. Back then, Ah Dang only has 7 designs and of which, only 4 of them are at least S-rank. But today, there is actually one which reached the SS rank under my evaluation. That is…

“Under the condition that the pilot is skillful, it should be able to shock even SemiGods… Don’t turn into your SS rank transformation in front of other people. You should only require S rank transformation to deal with today’s matters.

Greed and Gluttony are the type which start out extremely weak but have unlimited growth potential. But, Ah Dang’s rate of evolution still makes me surprised. Initially, I thought that it would take him a thousand years before he can reach such a state.

“Ah Dang, don’t eat living beings from now on, stop your transformation temporarily. Turn your attention into improving your fighting techniques and your control over magic.” Excessive evolution isn’t a good thing for both him and this world. He should be receptive to my orders.

“Yes, Ah Pa. We are here.”

Glancing downwards, we have indeed arrived. The spectacle below is one of the battle between gigantic monsters.

The 6th Senator ‘Demonic Bone Beast’ Crimspur, the 10th Senator ‘Ant King of Corrosion’ Lamost and the 11th Senator ‘The Great Mathematician’ Penny.Horst. Other than the 11th Senator who, as a Lich, has the normal size of a human, the other opponents are gigantic beasts above 30-meters tall.

On the defensive side, Ancient Red Dragon and Bone Dragon Queen weren’t losing much in physique compared to them. Right now, the Red Dragon is fighting with the Demonic Bone Beast while the blue crystal Bone Dragon that keeps creating a dissonance is soloing the remaining 2 Senators.

As they roll on the ground, a whole bunch of goblin landmines buried under the ground explode, but that wasn’t even sufficient to scrape their skin. The cannons from the goblin has yet to stop, but similarly, it has been neglected totally.

“Ah Dang, Ah Dang wants to eat meat!”

With a battle cry, the Silver-Plated Sky Dragon disappears within the black fog and an enormous ape appears on the ground. Its muscles are well-developed and its arms that muscular to the point of deformity is shining with the radiance of metal. He is the tallest and strongest among the giant beasts here.

“Koseidon, coming to visit!” The gigantic ape stretches out its arm and does a weird pose.

TL: This, quite an old cartoon.

Noticing the strange gazes the people in the surrounding were looking at it with, a composite voice diffuses from Ah Dang’s body.

“As expected, I shouldn’t this kind of old joke that reveals my age, look at how cold the crowd is. Then…”

TL: Cold -> Awkward.

That gigantic ape beast crosses his hand in a ?-shape at 90 degrees, going into another weird pose aiming towards Crimspur.

“Hehe, look at my Action Beam… No, Ultra Beam!!”

TL: Action Beam (Crayon Shin-chan Ultraman parody)

Alright, the crowd still remains cold…

“Boom!” But, a laser really shoots out from the arms, pushing Crimspur down.

“Hah, you think that I’m just faking it?”

Then, facing the strong enemies who start surrounding us, the ape beast sudden raises his both hand and does a handstand…

“Un, so that button is actually the cannons. Right, where is the punching button? Is it here? Don’t bother me, Elisa. I am very skilled in fighting games. Un un, so this is kicking? Okay, now that I am used to the basic controls, now it is time for Chinese Martial Arts to sweep the foreign world off its feet!”

Ah Dang is actually quite a ‘country bumpkin’-like name.

Okay, really weird chapter, it seems the author is really obsessed with sentais.

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