The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: StarveCleric  Editor: StarveCleric

The biannual Alliance Conference which should have been held the next week has been postponed indefinitely due to some overwhelming circumstances that cannot be resolved…

The reason? The empty streets in the city is the reason. The streets which should have been filled with crowds of people is completely empty. The single being that could be seen is a meter-tall transparent slime.

“AHHHH! Don’t come over, I am only here to sell my vegetables!!”

Yet another innocent victim is born. After the Slimes were satisfied after their assault and leaves, a naked Beastman Auntie runs in a frenzy with her basket in hand. Her oily flabs trembles around vigorously and sweat drips down like the rain. Wherever she passes by, sounds of vomiting could be heard.

“It is the 3rd time for that female Hippo Beastman. It probably isn’t an accident. I guess this incident gave some people an opportunity to release the wildness within them.”

Due to the sudden rampage of the mysterious Slimes, the internal workings of Vance City paralyses. These little things aren’t difficult to deal with. Even though Slimes have high resistance against physical attacks, but they have almost zero resistance towards Magic and the Divine Arts. In the underground world where experts could be everywhere, they aren’t that difficult to deal with.

However…

“Even if you can deal with one, can you deal with 10, deal with 100, deal with 1000? This toy is almost endless! Furthermore, if you accidentally allow it to close in on you, your armor would be reduced to spare parts in an instant and taken away. Your clothes would disintegrate, not leaving a single cloth behind. Being fully nude, how much of a fighting prowess would you still have?”

That’s right, no matter how strong you are, as long as you dare to wear clothes on the street, you would definitely be suppressed by the Slimes immediately with their overwhelming population and become totally nude. There is a Mage who created a Fire Wall by his side, protecting himself within the high temperature of the inferno. In the beginning, he managed to get rid of quite a few Slimes who pounced on him. But after 6 hours, he still ran out of mana and ended up like a newborn baby.

But, his experiment proved that this being is brainless and their numbers are innumerable. Fortunately, their weakness is found very quickly. They can disintegrate the fibers of cloth and take away metal, but they aren’t able to do anything about wood. In fact, they seem to instinctively fear it. As long as you leave a wooden pole on the window, doors and circle a piece around your taps, they will retreat immediately. (The back door left by a certain Lich)

TL: Crap, they come out from your taps?

But, this doesn’t solve the root of the problem. After all, you can’t really go on the street wearing a bunch of wooden sticks. Thus, the entire city retreated in the face of these small Slimes and went into a bizarre paralysis. They aren’t interested in humans who are nude, but not everyone can awaken to their new self like that Hippo Auntie.

The life of the citizens became inconvenient but in this instant, a group of warm-hearted young people pushed a wooden cart and walked fearlessly naked on the street.

They helped other people to purchase their groceries and run their errands. Also, they allow people to pay on tab and even recruit volunteers into their team.

“The natural body that God gave us is perfect and flawless, the unnatural clothes are an original sin. What wrong is there in releasing ourselves — Simplified as The Release of the Heaven’s Body Group. They took this opportunity to spread their beliefs (If you join in the group now, you get the right to purchase a wooden pushcart at member’s price, only limited to one per person!).”

When more and more young people started to acknowledge those bizarre teachings, they treated this Slime as a kind of heavenly punishment passed down that target clothes, an unnatural creation. The Release of the Heaven’s Body, whose core group is the Wild Bull Alliance, grew at a fearsome rate as innumerable people who are aiming for the business opportunities, those who awakens to a certain instinct and even the young people who acknowledges this bizarre cult started walking around the street naked to fight for their future wealth or their teachings.

Even so, the losses in this catastrophe were still quite great. Before the weakness of the Slimes were exposed, there were many vaults and rich merchants who fell prey to the Slimes. (A certain Lich: Why should we announce the weakness, we should give it some time first so as to earn more right? |A certain Maid: Shut up, hurry up and research on how to solve this problem from the root. Isn’t solving the problems that you stir up yourself one of your known sayings?)

Vance City was unable to function as per normal. At the very least, the Alliance Conference has been postponed indefinitely. The faces of the nude underground city lords seem to be like countless laughing face that were mocking at the dignity of the Underground Autarchs.

When the Autarchs’ patience finally reached a limit, they even proposed completely destroying the whole city and its underground works before rebuilding the entire city. However, a sudden rumor spreads around the entire city, bringing a surge of joy across the entire city — The Release of the Heaven’s Body Group’s leader Great Druid and their authoritative old Physician (Specializes in treating beasts) Beifeng.Herault had did their research and found out that these Slimes only have a lifespan of 10 days. Within 4 to 5 days, they should start withering as a group.

The entire city went into celebration, but no one seem to question why 2 unknown rookies were able to come up with such a conclusion when the top Mages were at a loss with this current catastrophe. But, the one who gave the biggest sigh of relief should be the Lion King himself. When the Conference of the Alliance is postponed, the responsibility is shared by everyone. However, if the auction is unable to carry out as promised, the contract of the Devils would be enforced and he might end up pulled straight to the River Styx, ending it all for him.

“Oh, I could actually still do that!”

I clap my hands together in realization. There was such an easy method to get rid of the Lion King, but I accidentally let the opportunity slip pass me.

“Actually, it still isn’t too late. If I release the remains of ‘Greed’ down, then it will…”

“Cause another 10 days of catastrophe?”

“No, it will become ‘Greed’ in its perfect form. Its individual strength would at least be increased by 10 folds and there would be no limit to its longevity. If this goes on forever, the Lion King would definitely be unable to hold the auction.”

“REJECTED!! The underground world will be destroyed like this.” Wearing a bikini created by 2 banana leaves, her both hands are hugging her chest to prevent exposing the **. Her little tail keeps on knocking against the ground, causing a ruckus. It looks like the recent happenings had made Elisa become extremely irritable.

TL: No idea what is **

The silk that has been worked on, fiber clothing that did not cover the back, rattan and leaves shirt, they have all became the latest fashion trend… What, we seem silly for stepping onto our own trap?

“Heh, if other people suffered from the trap that we laid but we don’t fall for it, doesn’t it obviously show that we were the one who set up the whole incident? Furthermore, my creations aren’t that useless and weak. They wouldn’t let you all go just because you all are my comrades.”

“This isn’t something to be proud about!! Why do you still have clothes to wear!”

Yes, in the entire base of Sulfur Mountain City, as the catastrophe hit us extremely early (It started the moment I threw Greed in), we are actually pretty badly affected by the catastrophe and there aren’t many here who have leaves shirt to wear. Only I am left with my clothes intact.

“Do you want to listen to the truth or lies? The lie is that my clothes are a SemiGod-class equipment, so they aren’t able to get near. As for the truth…” (They are unable to disintegrate high-tier equipment, but this doesn’t mean they will stop their attack. The reason why my entire body is so slimy is because of their secretion which is unable to get destroy my clothes)

“The truth is that they remember that you are their father, so they won’t attack you?”

“No, how can my creations have such a foolish weakness. Their ability to attack comes from their instincts, they do not discriminate against their enemy. Look, this is a wood-shaving spray. It is a product from dissolving wood into a solution. As long as you spray it on your body, the Slimes, who fear wood, would definitely stay away… Hey hey, I’m sorry for telling you about this, but we are all civilized people so let’s not get violent!! Put down the leg of that table!”

Alright, under the threat of violence, I admit that it isn’t that I forgot to tell them about it but rather, it is for my eye’s feast. But, my honesty only ends up bringing about Elisa’s rage and landed me in in jail. Coming right after is the long-awaited communication through wrestling…

After a moment, the panting Elisa sits on my spine and asks the me who was lying on the floor.

“Have you researched out the way to end this catastrophe?”

“I have researched it, I have researched it! Stop bending it, my old bones are about to break!!”

“Then why don’t you stop the Slimes! Is it because you feel sorry for them?”

“It will take at least a week to collect the ingredients required to make the necessary arrangements! I swear to the River Styx that I definitely am not lying this time.”

It takes 1 week for the antidote to come out — But 5 days later, the Slime Calamity has ended by itself — What she did, forcing her master to research the antidote, was in vain. This series of equation links up in her mind. Then, the maid rages.

“Kacha!” This is the crisp sound of the breaking of Elisa’s sanity and my thigh bones. That day, I managed to experience firsthand how powerful a Half-Demon is coupled with a Saint Pugilist Job, its fearsome physical abilities.

—————-

I am not so foolish as to place the main body of ‘Greed’ in the camp. That is equivalent to waiting for people to trace the stolen goods back here. The main body has been placed in the deepest area of the waterworks and countless of its children serves as its guards.

Out of expectations, there was an additional volunteer guard.

When the first gold coin is brought back to the main body, the first one to find her way to the main body is Little Red… When she got the details of the story, she immediately requests to serve as the guard of the treasure vault, the reason being…

“I am used to sleeping on treasure. I have been insomniac for so many days, it’s about time for me to have a good nap.”

Fine, I know that it is an excuse. Going by our unspoken rules, since she was willing to put in effort, she would be entitled to half of it as a welcome present. However, with her guarding the main body, I feel at ease.

At least, if she really meets with an extremely powerful opponent that isn’t easy to deal with, Little Red’s speed in running is extremely worth trusting.

Now, the only thing that we have to be worried about is how to sell the goods afterwards. However, in the underground world, this is the thing that we need not worry about.

Alright, since everything is in place, the last thing that we need to settle is the Alliance Conference. When the Slime army starts to wither and die as predicted, everyone heaved a sigh of relief. The Underground Autarch swiftly sends invitation letter for the Alliance Conference.

‘The gathering of primitives’, ‘Can those underground city lords do the Hula dance?’

TL: Hula

When the street vendors start to discuss vehemently over this topic, appropriate clothing were sent soon after the invitation letter, making those unfortunate underground city lords feel thankful towards the thoughtful organization while heaving a sigh of relief. In the market now, clothes that still could be wear had long shot up to sky price, it would be difficult to purchase them.

But at this moment, the good that were the best seller weren’t the lacking clothes, but information on the study of Power of Law.

“Still worried about the invaders and Demonic Beasts that keep harassing you? There is the nemesis of those who break the law here, the senior of the Holy Light from the same sect. Even Undead, monkeys and Half-Demons can grasp this power of the new generation — Power of Law!”

“It doesn’t cost 3 to 4 thousand, it doesn’t cost 1 to 2 thousand either, it is yours for 998 for real! Exquisite workmanship with 99 main functions. Communicating with the Origin of Order doesn’t require money and learning how to control the spells don’t require money either. Furthermore, the spells sparkle!! Stop hesitating, head on over to Sulfur Mountain City’s Envoy Base to reserve and purchase it!!”

TL: Exquisite workmanship -> Literally means the skills required to create the Hearts and arrows

“Furthermore, the first 100 buyers will receive a second chance at lottery. The top prize is the God Equipment Scattered Page of the Codex! We will send it straight to your house and even tutor you for free.”

‘Hey hey, do you know how to judge?’ ‘Judge men! Mama, you don’t have to worry about my spell incantation failing anymore. Granny, my dream of becoming a Holy Knight has been realized.’

TL: Not a typo.

“Power of Law is trustworthy. In order to make it for convenient for our big customers to comprehend and wield it, other than the basic 998 package, we even prepared a 9998 Deluxe Package for the noble you. Of course, if you feel like that this is unfitting of your high social position, we also prepared a 19998 Perfect Luxurious Package, which comes along with a lottery card, allowing you to join in the lottery for the God Equipment Scattered Page of the Codex!”

“What are you hesitating about? Our address is Vance 32nd District Tauren Road No. 88, first come first serve. While stocks last.”

Striking it rich, I started to look forward to the auction and the Alliance Conference that was around the corner.

“Master, didn’t you just bring a few hundred identical information books? Those Deluxe and Perfect Luxurious version…”

“It is all the same, all the same.”

“Aren’t you afraid that they might get even with you?”

“Hehe, Elisa, you are still too inexperienced. You have to think about the mindset of those underground city lords when they purchase goods. Those underground city lords who are willing to fork out 998 Diamonds to purchase the information don’t really bother much about spending another 9000. ‘What? You thought that it was 998 gold coin and not diamonds? Police, chase this villager away.’ When this word is spoken, those rich suckers who value their face will eat it no matter how expensive it is. Do you know what is an overlord and a Little Xiong? An overlord is someone with great wealth, the big boss. No matter what they buy, they will choose to buy the most expensive one rather than the best one! It is because they have a reputation to uphold. Look, all 4 of the Underground Autarchs bought the Perfect Luxurious Version right? They can’t afford to let anyone see them buying the normal Deluxe version. Thus, our motto for our sales it that we don’t go for the best but the most expensive. Once our business is done, we won’t have to open our shop for 10 years.”

TL: Little Xiong (??)-> Means someone who is ambitious and ruthless.

“You are really scheming.”

“Thanks for your compliments.”

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