The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: imperfectluck Editor: Pranav

The area around Loyu Street was originally one of the most unnoticeable areas in all of Arlo. After all, this area was the gnome and dwarves’ district. They weren’t popular in this country of magic, and the estate prices here were the lowest.

This was the Mage Country. Gnomes’ and dwarves’ engineering technology would always seem extravagant but impractical in front of the mysterious power of magic—like a firework, beautiful yet otherwise useless.

“Engineers’ cannons? Gnomes’ explosives? They don’t even have the power of three-circle magic spells, and it’s so easy to accidentally injure oneself with an explosion. Most importantly, they’re really expensive, really heavy, and really unreliable.”

“Gnome harvester mechas? A Silver rank can easily deal with the small ones, while the large ones require astronomical prices due to the need for an energy source. Nor can large mechas be mass-produced, and I’m doubtful of their practical usability.”

“Dwarves’ daily-life products? Are you joking with me? Are you intending to try that water-flushing toilet of theirs that can shoot you up into the clouds? Or use a dwarven sleeping mask that will easily fry your brain? Yep, you could also try their large ‘mega-comfy’ massage chairs that are rumored to be so comfortable that they’ll break every bone in your body. Forget it, those items all belong in a dump.”

For quite a long while now, the products of engineering had always been treated as unreliable. Apart from the fact that the gnomes and dwarves that excelled at engineering indeed had problems with their moral conduct, it was more about the limitations of technology.

“It’s impossible for engineering to produce reliable products without a reliable power source.”

To use an analogy from my previous world so that you readers can understand, not a single person would buy a car that would randomly choose a number between 1 and 100 horsepower when you stepped on the gas pedal. If a hair dryer or a microwave had voltage that would randomly jump several tens of thousands at a time, they would be no different from a ticking time bomb.

The energy sources that the dwarves and gnomes used were far too crude. Either they used highly flammable substances like oil as the energy source, which meant that it was hard to control the energy output’s power, or they would use rare resources obtained from magical beasts or precious minerals. That would cost astronomical amounts of money, on top of a low efficiency rate of conversion to energy. Not to mention, these magical sources would be difficult to control if they ran amok. And so, energy development was basically a huge mess.

That wasn’t because the gnomes and dwarves didn’t view energy as important. It was that every natural-made or ancient energy source had different activation methods and fundamental workings. These energy sources could only be researched individually. Since all the different parts for energy sources were of such a wide variety, how could they possibly come up with an all-around mass producible energy source?

And since there was no way to mass produce any reliable energy sources, it was only natural that engineered products were also similarly unable to be mass produced. There was no consistency to engineering at all.

Of course, gnomes and dwarves weren’t satisfied with restrictions like this. Gnome engineering was just a typical gnome way of thinking… or perhaps I should say a gnome way of not caring about the consequences.

“Since I don’t know when it’ll explode, let’s just make this into an explosive with the target of exploding in the first place.”

And so, all sorts of Gnome Mines were invented. After a long time passed, the gnomes lost sight of their original goal of improving gnome engineering. Their goal instead became the abnormal one of making more and more powerful explosions, something they considered glorious.

“Since there’s no way to reliably control the energy output, then let’s just think of ways to maximize the energy output, instead.” And so, the gnome rocket cars and rockets were invented that had such a high fatality rate…

Should I say that it was thanks to the dwarves inventing the parachute that pilots were given the chance to return to the ground alive? However, I found it incomprehensible how gnome rocket car races became the gnomes’ most favorite sport of all.

“Danger? What’s that? Please call it unpredictable excitement!”

That would be a very typical gnome-like answer. Perhaps it would be more convincing if it wasn’t for the fact that the gnome rocket car races caused several hundred gnome casualties every year—all due to explosions.

Meanwhile, the dwarves had a much more normal way of thinking. At the very least, they were working hard to make up for their technological weaknesses. During the process of searching for better energy mechanisms, they invented gears and attempted to use gears to transmit torque, change speed, and change the direction of torque. The dwarves attempted to use gears to control the output of energy and control what was originally uncontrollable.

It was precisely because of dwarven gears and conductors that dwarves possessed far higher quality engineering products in the areas of mechas and transportation tools compared to the gnomes. The dwarves’ products were far more exquisite as well.

After all, the gnomes considered all “large and creaky products” as “consumable products which bring excitement and explosions,” so there was no reason that the gnomes would research any deeper about the subject. However, the gnomes far exceeded the dwarves regarding anything dangerous or high speed, such as rocket cars.

With current technology in this world, using gears which were still a relatively new invention here to begin with to control an energy source that was completely unpredictable would be no different from using oars designed for a wooden rowboat to try and control a heavy battleship constructed of metal. It would naturally be unreliable, and even for the coincidental successes, the amount invested in the construction would far exceed what was earned from selling it. And, in the end, it would still be unable to be mass produced.

The worst part was that even though the dwarves hadn’t yet mastered the gears that they invented, they still believed that “it’ll somehow succeed by using as many as possible.” The dwarves created a large amount of daily life products for practical use that became known as “killers.” The end result was that no matter if engineered products came from gnomes or dwarves, the products all became known as bad, unreliable deals.

As for me personally, I felt that the dwarves were at least more reliable than the gnomes. If the dwarves were given another two or three thousand years of time, perhaps they would be able to coincidentally discover some energy source and develop technology similar to steam-engine technology from my original world. But since this world was facing numerous impending calamities, such time was obviously unavailable.

To be honest, if the gnomes and the dwarves cooperated, they would perhaps be able to invent some amazing new technologies. However, those in the same line of business always viewed others in the same line as competitors, not to mention how scientists were always the stubborn type. Researchers with just slightly different ways of thinking thought it natural to view each other as competitors and even enemies. It was basically a daily occurrence to attack others’ research for simply being different from one’s own. The gnomes and dwarves never had a good relationship.

Only a place like Sulfur Mountain City would be able to make these two species, who always viewed each other with enmity, finally put aside their differences and cooperate, which resulted in abnormal products like the Roland Titan. Of course, even in Sulfur Mountain City, the two species still argued aplenty. Only when they were locked in jail as prisoners together did they finally manage to come to a temporary mutual accord.

But now, Olive’s Magic Box meant that there was a reliable source of energy. The engineers would finally be able to let go of their old outdated and mistaken ideas while focusing on developing more important technologies.

“Every change in how energy is supplied represents a new industrial revolution. And for Eich, what the Olive Magic Box will bring is probably this world’s first ever industrial revolution.”

Although the Olive Magic Box’s core was the Miracle Alchemist Olive’s energy conservation cycle magical array, what allowed it to operate consistently was mostly the work of master engineers led by Timlad. The current newest edition, “Olive Magic Box 8.1,” had far higher specs than even the version in the game’s “history.” That was why all sorts of engineering products were developed so quickly in this current version of history.

Not only did it involve the hard efforts of Jinya, Millhouse [1] 1 , and various gnome and dwarf engineers, the information that Timlad provided stemmed from secret knowledge possessed by ancient races. After all, Timlad was the final remaining member of that ancient species. This was a miracle product born out of necessity of the times. If it wasn’t for being pushed to the brink and despairing, the Timlad in the game’s “history” would never would have given up his own precious information to others.

Now, the entire Loyu Steet District became the Great Industrial Party’s district after purchasing, merging, and recruiting the entire area.

Yep, merging. Basically, I would just purchase an entire store, which naturally made the store’s employees ours. Then, I would have the stores demolished and modified into factories. Although this did cost a lot of money, I had earned plenty in recent days, not to mention my previously saved up funds. It wasn’t too much of a financial burden.

There were plenty of gnome and dwarf engineers making a living in the Mage Country. However, most of their business came from smithing, alchemy, and enchantments. Smithing was quite close to engineering, anyways, and I really lacked people in this department. I also hankered after more alchemists as well.

As for the gnomes and dwarves, engineering was a part of their daily lives. Even gnome master alchemists would be quite skilled in engineering, and their archmages were quite willing to work for me in exchange for the newest technology I possessed. No, I should say that since this was the revolution that would herald a new generation, and that the gnomes and dwarves were species sensitive to the importance of new technology, they had practically gone crazy over the technology I showed them.

What made them furious was the fact that this invention destined to become a historical achievement wasn’t invented by either of their races. This caused them to want to vent in frustration out of pride.

In fact, when I tossed out recruitment advertisements stating that Thorn Garden was hiring engineers and alchemists, mentioning that a long-term contract of ten years was required, many top-level dwarven master enchanters and alchemists voluntarily came to offer me their services. There was even a Myth-ranked dwarven archmage, Cromwell Manastorm, a master magical puppet artisan, that came to show me his acolyte-level engineering certificate in a pitiful attempt to be hired by me.

“Actually, I’ve always wanted to be an engineer—hey—hey—please don’t leave! I can work for you while researching new technologies! Wouldn’t you like to see the combination of runic magic puppets and engineering technology!? That’ll definitely be by far the scariest—I mean cutest little things this world has ever seen!”

The dwarf archmage’s raspy voice echoed throughout the room, with shiny and dangerous purple mana waves crackling. I even suspected that if I refused him, he would directly attempt to explode this entire room.

“Fine, just sign this ten-year contract here, and you’ll be working for me, Roland, from now on… Hey, you’re signing without even reading the contract? I’m that trustworthy?”

“Heh heh, as long as you give me that technology, I’m even willing to pay you every single bit of my wealth. It’s merely working for you for ten years, such a little thing. Besides, I’ve already heard from other dwarves about you, and I’m really looking forward to working for you.”

The white-bearded dwarf archmage laughed in delight, almost as if I was the one signing a ten-year contract to work for him, instead. Not to mention, this dwarf archmage wasn’t even the first archmage to show friendliness to our cause. The unexpected part was that almost all the archmages expressing interest in joining us so far weren’t human archmages.

I had plenty of subordinates, money, and technology. The factories were completed quite quickly, and Loyu Street became my turf.

Of course, the consequence was that it no longer became possible for other mages to come to the dwarves and gnomes for the original services provided. The mages would now have to go look for human smiths and alchemists. Naturally, this would attract enmity in my direction as I was being quite grand in my actions. Still, why would I care?

“The next products we’re going to start selling? The Starcraft Marine and Sith Warrior mechas are all finished, so let’s start selling those. Hmm, it’s time to increase the speed at which people start using Justice Points. We’re only going to sell the mechas to those who can pay 10 Justice Points in addition to the price in gold coins. That’s a very low amount of Justice Points, but it’ll force the mages to start thinking of ways to earn them.”

However, sometimes things simply wouldn’t develop as planned.

“Um, my apologies, but we don’t have enough money to purchase and create so many production lines.”

“How is that possible? Thorn Garden is highly profitable, right? I even set aside an amount of money for purchasing land, so why is there no more money? Was there an error in your calculations?”

“Milord, you signed so many master engineers and archmages to ten-year contracts, so the costs for housing them and first installments of paying their salaries constitue no small amount. The cost has exceeded the budget! Also, Milord, you currently have four research projects active at once. Especially your Roland #7, it costs a ridiculous amount of money every day. Everyone in the finance department is of the opinion that Milord should stop one of your research projects.”

I didn’t know what to say to the hesitant young accountant who had been forced here by his coworkers to be the bringer of bad news. Although I could still think of other ideas to move funding from other sources, this would definitely slow down the overall progress of things I wanted. I hesitated for a moment and ended up thinking of a little scheme to obtain some extra money.

“How about we try something a little crooked?”

However, when I told everyone my plan, they were all cool to the idea.

“If you rob or scam someone, won’t you lose the ability to use the power of Law? Milord—”

When I heard this, I laughed in satisfaction.

“Hmph! This isn’t robbing or scamming at all. Such talentless actions like robbing or scamming couldn’t possible make as much money as this idea of mine!”

Notes:

[1] TL/N: Apparently Miheuer in the glossary, but I’m changing it to Millhouse because Millhouse Manastorm is actually a WoW reference.

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