The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: StarveCleric  Editor: StarveCleric

On the mountains that were filled with the smell of sulfur, there is a gigantic cavern where a large beast seems to faking sleep.

Graceful, beautiful, large and savage, these contradictory phrases fuse together perfectly in front of this beast whose size resembles a small hill. The sharp knife-like scales reflect a stream of light that mirrors the sun and those shining silver claws are of the size of flagpoles.

Its very existence is the incarnation of majesty and its breath can bring about storm and lightning. Under the gaze of those mystical dragon eyes, it feels as though life is coming to an end.

In this moment, this natural-born king narrows its eyes, as though as looking at something. Out of a sudden, it gives out a frightening roar.

“Ao ao ao!”

Following the gigantic beast’s lightning-like roaring, the entire mountain shakes and innumerable demonic beasts escapes in response to the roar. The savage carnivorous demonic vultures escape frantically in all directions just like frightened sparrows.

When the peak of the food chain, the true owner of this mountain — Ancient Red Dragon Ein Mezus roar in anger, there is no living being that wouldn’t feel fear.

Even so, the content of the roar makes one speechless…

“AH HAHAHAHA, TO THINK THAT YOU WOULD HAVE SUCH A DAY. I’M ABOUT TO DIE OF LAUGHTER.”

The gigantic beast was actually hugging it stomach and starts rolling about. The entire cavern starts to tremor violently, as though it was going to collapse anytime soon.

“Shut up, Little Red!”

Yes, the person in front of her is me, Lich Roland. But right now, my situation isn’t that good…

“…Isn’t this our wisest Lord Roland? Where’s your body? Why is there only a head left of you?”

In front of the gigantic beast reminiscent of the mountains, there is a skeleton head which doesn’t even reach the size of one of its scale. Un, that’s me.

“Hmph.” I really don’t want to bother with her but the scorpion-tailed lion on the other side was reporting to its master about its acquisition.

“Awuu, awuu.” The scorpion-tailed lion’s weird nasally voice was mixed in with some dragon language. I can’t really make out what it is saying, but Einz Mezus seems to getting more and more interested in its story.

“Oh oh, so you are saying that he was first fought over by a bunch of vultures, then the dogmans hit him down. Afterwards, the griffins stole him from the dogmans and after witnessing it all, you all decided to rob the griffins. You all found him quite familiar, so you decided to gift him to me for me to enjoy?”

“Roland, what an exciting adventure you had. I will share this with Adam and the rest.”

Ignoring this stupid dragon, I retained my silence.

Yes, the bones of the Lich aren’t that good to digest. With only my skullcap remaining, I enjoyed a tour about Sulfur Mountain City’s food chain and went one level by one level up, finally ending up in the hands of Ein Mezus who was at the tip of the food chain.

Of course, I have a way to directly recover by expending my mana but if I wait until noon, my skeleton body will automatically reassemble itself under the effects of my spell. Thus, I didn’t have any intention of wasting mana to forcefully reassemble myself and this resulted in me… enjoying a tour around Sulfur Mountain City’s food chain.

“You are getting overjoyed too fast. Think about it, what would the reason for me being in this state?”

The Red Dragon used its gigantic claws to support its chin, putting out a position similar to a human thinking. In the beginning, she was still rather carefree but very soon, she thought of a possibility and her body bends, causing her chin to knock violently on the floor, but it wasn’t the time for her to care about the pain.

“It can’t be. Don’t tell me that that person is back?”

I nodded my head bitterly.

“Right, she’s back. Furthermore, it is a leveled-up version with a great boost in her specs. Look at how high I flew this time…”

Before I finished with my words, the gigantic dragon actually started bellowing.

“Quick, quick! Help me put up a ‘Not free for battle’ sign at the bottom of the hill, just say that I went out to visit my friends. Right, where is the key to the safe? Throw it into the volcano, we mustn’t let that brat into my treasure vault at any costs. Forget it, I am really leaving now.”

That day, the gigantic dragon remembered the times when terror being dominated by that rascal… The shame when her proud dragon scales were full of children drawings after an afternoon nap, the fear when her treasure vault was filled with water, the smell of fresh meat being mixed with sulfur and lava, the insult those shining golden coins were converted into worthless glass…

“Meow, I am not like those dumb lizards, you think that those shining glass can be exchanged for goin coins? Dream on!”

“Wuuuuu, I just want to make Auntie Little Red happy. Everyone says that dragon auntie likes shiny things. Wuu, Ann is sorry, don’t hate Ann.”

Back then, facing the crying little girl and the resentment of her parents Adam and Margaret and my ‘you made a little girl cry’ kind of snickering, even a gigantic dragon was unable to retain her dignity and she could only give in and try to console Ann.

“Un, un, sister dragon loves Ann the most. Ann, don’t cry anymore, be obedient Ann. Auntie have some sweets for you. No, this is a god equipment, it is worth a lot of money. Here, I’ll give it to you. You don’t like it? Then try this one, the blessed winged armor. You can wear it when you grow older…”

From my experience which could be seen by those vandalized precious books as evidence, the scariest part about rascals is not their ability to cause devastation, but rather it is when after they are finished with it, you, as the victim, still have to be the one to wrap up the disaster. If you were to reprimand them a little harsher and they cry, you even have to pay the price to console her.

That time, Einz Mezus paid a God Equipment, a set of Epic chainmail that she treasures and two… lollipops. Actually, I think the items in front are unneeded, just two lollipops would have been enough. Of course, I won’t take the initiative to remind this dumb dragon.

Right now, hearing that Annie has come back, she remembered the misery she suffered then such that even the Ancient Red Dragon dubbed as the Disaster of Veron was forced to go into hiding.

The Attack of the Rascals, even gigantic dragons would have to kneel before them.

“Don’t panic, she is still in Sulfur Mountain City. I will inform her when she comes up to the mountains. But now, since we met, there are some things that I want to discuss with you.”

“Discuss what? I have to move my treasure vault! I am busy.”

“How about we talk about your mother?”

It was a rude question, but Little Red calms down quite a bit after hearing it

“What do you mean? The self-proclaimed Dragon Empress Molly? What is with her?”

Yes, the Ancient Red Dragon Einz Mezus is the unfilial daughter of Dragon Empress Molly. She is the rebellious daughter who have been exiled by the underground dragon tribes and just like every teenage girl who left home during their rebellious period, she has a lot of grudges against her mother and brethren.

“She has her eyes on Sulfur Mountain City. Or more concisely, the God of the Origin of Fire sealed below here. Don’t tell me that you have never noticed that there is a malevolent god sealed here.

“…I have been wondering for a long time why it was so comfortable to sleep here, so warm, just like a hot pit. So it is because there is a hearth hiding below here.”

Alright, the Red Dragons and Fire Elementals likes active mountains. To her, if there really is a Fire Elemental God sealed under the mountain, it is only a very comfortable source of heat.

“So, the present situation is a little bit troublesome now. The seal below your home is already their target. It is just a matter of time before the fellows from other underground cities organize an alliance army here. I’m sure you don’t want to see your house becoming a mess and your treasure vault getting smashed and robbed after a nap.”

“Furthermore, Annie is about to take over as Adam’s successor. Even though she is a rascal, but she is a rascal that we brought up together. Now those fellows down there are about to make their move, are you willing to see our child get bullied?”

Hearing this, a scarlet red glint of rage flashes across the dragon’s eye. Following the killing will is a frightening pressure.

As a tangible dragon pressure is exerted, the strong quasi-legend demonic beast scorpion-tailed lion was frightened to the point of huddling together. But, as the one directly in the face of the pressure, I smiled.

I understand her. Little Red might laze around in her house a lot, but she definitely isn’t a fool. Her spies have sent her a lot of intelligence.

Also, her mouth might be a little harsh, but the one who dotes on Annie the most is still this dragon lass who is way-past her marriage age but still single and flooding with maternal love. She views Annie as half a daughter or else, why would a Red Dragon who was known to be greedy and selfish bear to give out a precious defensive god equipment.

Now that I mentioned that Annie was going to be bullied, her killing will would naturally be directed towards those fools in Sulfur Mountain City who thinks that they seem to think that they can ascend the heavens.

“Stop with the crap, just say it you have any plan. Just like how it normally is, you work your brains and I work my arms to destroy them.”

Hearing this, I laugh gleefully. Since Little Red was willing to become my fighter, my goal for coming here today have been half-realized. As for the other half…

“I want to stage a show, a good show of an evil dragon invading a city.”

…Now that I am done preparing the stage. What is left is my quest!

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know so we can fix it as soon as possible.