The Daily Life of the Immortal King

Wang Ling hadn't expected his gift to make Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal so happy. The problem was that while the young man in white had received the gift in the villa just now with a pleasantly surprised expression on his face, he hadn't been so wild with joy to the point of bursting into song.

Wang Ling suddenly felt like he had unearthed some hidden aspect of Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal.

This was probably the legendary <anno data-annotation-id="ea12778b-10dd-4d7c-93fd-2499d045e142">mensao</anno>…

Wang Ling had always felt that he was the only one with this shortcoming.

But now that he thought about it, Wang Ling recalled that this song Take You on A Journey had been pretty popular recently. The last few days after class, he had seen Super Chen listening to it on a loop with his earphones. The song had even played on the school's weekly Thursday broadcast during the lunch break, and the entire campus had been steeped in the aura of love.

In addition to this song, there was also another one with even more brainwashing tendencies, We Are Different…

The issue was that Wang Ling had never heard Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal sing before! So when Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal sang off the cuff, it wasn't just Wang Ling, but the rest of the group also froze in front of their screens for three seconds.

After a stunned moment, Dharmaraja directly typed in the group, "Senior Immortal, I haven't heard it yet, but… do you know Gouda <anno data-annotation-id="09b6e0a6-45fe-4a76-9e2f-d3f035a9855a">Takeshi</anno>?"

Everyone: "…"

Cailian Zhenren: "Dharmaraja… You better listen to it, that's very rude."

Dharmaraja: "I'm just worried that Senior Immortal might have developed some musical magic weapon and wants to test it on us."

The group sunk into silence for a moment.

Because no one could understand what on earth was up with Senior Immortal today, to be so happy that he couldn't help singing a song.

At that moment, it was Little Silver who was the first to praise him. "Everyone, have a listen. Senior Immortal sings very well!"

Hm…

Wang Ling clicked open the voice message of Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal singing with a judicious air.

While Little Silver didn't usually listen to human music since he was a holy beast, he still had the ability to discern good from bad.

And in fact, it was indeed as Little Silver had said; Wang Ling thought that unexpectedly, Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal actually sang very well!

Not only was he in tune, his singing voice was pretty unique, and completely different to his normal speaking voice; it felt like it was coming from a warmhearted male senior!

Even Loopy Toad was pleasantly surprised. "Looks like Senior Immortal still has other talents!"

When Wang Ling looked at the chat group again, there were already a lot of likes and applause.

Cailian Zhenren was a little excited and sent several thumbs-up in a row. "Senior Immortal really sings well! It's my first time hearing him sing, and even when recorded with a phone it sounds like this… Really amazing!"

Immortal Toya also couldn't help praising it. "He indeed sings very well."

Just then, Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal had finished singing the main part of the song in his voice message, and it was followed by the chorus.

Wang Ling suddenly felt that something wasn't right.

Cailian Zhenren: "Did Senior Immortal sing the lyrics wrong? Why does the chorus sound a little different from what I've heard before? Shouldn't the first line be 'I want to take you to romantic Turkey'?"

Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal finally replied, "I didn't sing it wrong, I changed the lyrics; it's a habit of mine when I sing."

Cailian Zhenren replied, "I see, but even when you changed them, it still rhymes; at least, it doesn't sound out of place when I'm listening to it."

Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal: "Really? Ha ha ha! I also think I have a gift for writing lyrics!"

About three seconds later, Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal confidently posted the lyrics that he had changed…

Take You on A Journey: the Magically <anno data-annotation-id="a5321559-cbaf-48d7-b6b6-6a6d77e53921">Changed</anno> Version of the Chorus, by Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal:

I want to take you to romantic MMP…

Then we will go to the holy land of cultivation…

Actually, I prefer to stay at home…

Eat a packet of crispy noodle snacks to sate my hunger…

...

When they saw these lyrics, the whole chat group instantly fell into a dead silence.

Wang Ling sucked in a sharp breath. "…" To make the lyrics <anno data-annotation-id="8359ed06-7304-41a5-986e-4372b3f2f4ba">rhyme</anno>… this was too insane!

...

In a flash, it was the afternoon. After clicking open the song Grenade-Throwing Senior Immortal had sung, Wang Ling hadn't been able to calm down for a long time…

Just then, he suddenly heard Father Wang give a blood-curdling cry which echoed through the villa, as if he was the NPC in Detective Conan who had discovered the scene of the crime.

Loopy Toad raised its dog head. "What's going on?"

Even without looking, Wang Ling knew that Father Wang's old illness must have flared up. Wang Ling could guess what happened from how wretched Father Wang sounded. From this brutal cry of pain… Wang Ling reckoned that Father Wang's hemorrhoids had definitely flared up again.

This was the precious experience Wang Ling had gained after so many years in this villa.

Father Wang had a chronic hemorrhoid problem, which mainly had to do with a lack of exercise and sitting down for too long; it was completely due to unhealthy living habits.

First of all, Father Wang rarely went out. He spent the whole day sitting on a chair in his study and typing. Additionally, the toilet in the bathroom was second only to the chair in his study as the place he frequented the most. According to Mother Wang, if they added up all the time Father Wang spent on the toilet, it was enough for a person to finish reflecting on Three Lives, Three Worlds, and might even be enough time to watch Ten Miles of Cherry <anno data-annotation-id="670ba6ce-bf08-4754-a78c-ed78566b3b7c">Blossoms</anno>…

Most importantly, one of the most unusual things about Father Wang's hemorrhoids was how strongly resistant it was to medicine! It couldn't be cured with ordinary drugs! Every time it flared up, he had to use a specific medicine made by Immortal Toya.

Wang Ling had seen this medicine before; it was a powder that seemed to sparkle and which was very cold to the touch. Pouring it over the affected area and leaving it for about thirty seconds would instantly cure Father Wang, but at the price of excruciating pain…

Of course, Wang Ling could in fact cure this type of minor condition…

But no matter what, Father Wang refused to let Wang Ling treat him.

Father Wang felt that it was very shameful to have his son treat his hemorrhoids! As the head of the family, if he couldn't overcome such a minor condition, how could he shoulder his heavy family responsibility?! This was about a man's dignity! A man had to overcome his hemorrhoids himself!

This was the vow that Father Wang had made in his mind the first time he had gotten hemorrhoids.

Father Wang's screams continued for more than a minute…

It seemed to be going on for longer than usual this time, so Wang Ling decided to take a look.

Generally, the screaming would have stopped after thirty seconds or so.

...

Just as Wang Ling came downstairs, Father Wang's screaming stopped. He was lying on the sofa with sweat all over his head and weak like a lady who had just given birth…

Mother Wang put the medicine away and couldn't help scolding him. "Your condition is caused by you looking at your phone on the toilet. The next time you go, I'll turn the Internet off!"

"No! I would rather suffer! You can't cut my Internet!" Father Wang was agitated. "The time I spend every morning on the toilet is when I use my side account to fight the trolls!"

"Fine… I won't turn it off. I still have other ways."

Mother Wang couldn't resist laughing. Her smile was a bit sly, and both Wang Ling and Loopy Toad stared blankly at her. Then Mother Wang turned to look at Wang Ling. "Ling Ling, you're just in time. Contact Little Ming later and ask him to send your father's birthday present over in advance."

Wang Ling: "…"

Father Wang: "What? Little Ming prepared a present for me?"

Mother Wang smiled slightly. "Yes, Little Ming made it especially for you!"

Father Wang: "My birthday's still a while away… what's the rush? Then again, what is this present?"

Mother Wang continued smiling. "A smart anti-hemorrhoid thermal toilet."

Father Wang: "…"

Wang Ling: "…"

Mother Wang: "The longer you sit on the toilet, the hotter it becomes. Little Ming said that even a Nascent Soul cultivator would have to stand up after less than five minutes."

Father Wang: "…"

Wang Ling: "…"

<annotations style="display: none;"><ol class="tinymce-annotation-container"><li data-annotation-id="ea12778b-10dd-4d7c-93fd-2499d045e142">Like a 'tsundere.'</li><li data-annotation-id="09b6e0a6-45fe-4a76-9e2f-d3f035a9855a">The stocky character in 'Doraemon' who apparently is horrible at singing.</li><li data-annotation-id="a5321559-cbaf-48d7-b6b6-6a6d77e53921">While this is the literal translation, the phrase generally refers to a major reinvention of something.</li><li data-annotation-id="8359ed06-7304-41a5-986e-4372b3f2f4ba">In Chinese, the last characters end with an "i" sound.</li><li data-annotation-id="670ba6ce-bf08-4754-a78c-ed78566b3b7c">"Three Lives, Three Worlds, Ten Miles of Cherry Blossoms," also known as "Eternal Love," is a 2017 58-episode Chinese drama.</li></ol></annotations>",