The Abandoned Empress

The music ended as soon as he was done talking to me. I lifted the hem of my skirt to show due manners. I headed for the restroom after asking for his understanding.

Sitting on a fluffy chair, I was lost in thought. I felt dizzy when I heard that it was the crown prince’s decision not to take any of the princesses as his bride. Why did he make such a decision? According to the documents he was holding, it was clear that both Princess Naima and Princess Beary had disqualifying factors, let alone Princess Beatrice. As for Princess Moria, it would be difficult for him to choose her because she was strongly supported by the noble factions.

But why not Princess Frincia?

The crown prince always analyzed the situation cool-heartedly and chose the most reasonable one. He was rational enough to be treated as one who had no emotion. As such, he must have recognized her qualities. Even I, who didn’t know that she was here for the secret mission of concluding an alliance agreement with the empire, recommended her as the best candidate for the friendship of the Lua kingdom. As he was involved in the negotiations, he must have sized up her capabilities. Above all, the best way to strengthen the alliance was to form an alliance through marriage.

When I sighed, I suddenly saw myself reflected in the mirror. A hair ornament on top of my wavy silver hair and the glittering jewel tiara decorated with pastel pink stones and diamonds on a gold background.

‘Wait a minute, pink stone?’

I hastily took off the tiara. Tiara in gold. Necklace and earrings made of gold chains. A tiara decorated with pink stones and diamonds, necklaces and earrings decorated with pink stones, and a dress stitched with pink stones. No matter how closely I looked, they looked like one set. How can this be possible? The necklace and earrings were given by the crown prince a few days ago, and the dresses were made to match with them. So, I could understand his gifts.

But the tiara was given to me by the emperor today. There was no possibility that the emperor saw my necklace and earrings in advance. If then, how could he have the tiara made to match them as one set? Only the crown prince could make this possible. Was there any possibility that the emperor and the crown prince agreed…?

“Do you like it?”

When I was surprised at my own guesswork, I heard somebody calling me coldly from my behind. I hurriedly got up and showed due manners. The crown prince sat down and beckoned me to sit, too.

“How about it? Do you like it? ”

“Did you prepare the tiara?”

“Um.”

“Why? Why did you give it to me?”I asked him in a trembling voice.

The tiara is the symbol of the royal family. If the emperor gave it to me, I could understand it because he always told me that he wanted me to be his son’s wife. But the crown prince, not the emperor, gave it to me. If he thought that I was only nominally his fiancee, it was good enough for him to look kind and generous to me. But he didn’t have to give it to me.

“Well, because you are my fiancée.”

“Your Majesty.”

“I had it made beforehand, but I wanted to ask your opinion first.”

“… . ”

“When I asked you a few days ago, you said you still wanted to be the successor of your family.”

After he said that, he stopped for a moment. This time he was hesitating, to my surprise.

“As for the tiara… Um.”

“… ”

“I made the promise to you on the day when I came of age. As you have one year and a half to go before you come of age, I want you to reconsider your decision.”

“Oh, Your Majesty?”

My heart was beating like crazy. Did I hear him right? His request that I reconsider my decision to be the successor of my family was like asking me to be his wife.

My eyes trembled as I looked at him. He was staring at me seriously. There was seriousness in his eyes, with no more coldness, dry feelings or mockery.

I thought he would choose Jiun if she appeared later, so I thought if any woman was selected as his wife, I would not have to be entangled with his life anymore. But for now I had a little hope that he would take care of me even if Jiun appeared.

I bit my lips tight.

‘Maybe I’m crazy.’

Even though I suffered so much, I was still entertaining a fleeting hope. I’ve been struggling to escape from him for the past four years, I still found myself clinging to him. As a daughter of the Monique family I really had a hard time, so I wanted to be freed from the predetermined fate by all means.

‘Was I so wimpish that I could let my hair down easily before his warm touch and look? Was I foolish enough to find hope in his kind words when I suffered too much because of him?’

“Lady Monique?” He asked in a subdued voice.

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“When you look at me, I feel you are comparing me to somebody.”

I was startled to hear that. Like he said, whenever I saw him, I was always comparing him with the old him in the past, something like ‘Oh, he is the same here, different there when compared to him in the past.’ To my surprise, he already noticed it.

“Can’t you see me as I am now?”

“… ”

“I don’t know who is the object of my comparison, he or they.”

“…Your Majesty.”

“I want you to know that what you have seen in me is my true self.”

My lips trembled. I tried to say something, but when he got up, he turned away without looking at me.

When he gradually disappeared, I suddenly felt frustrated and sad. My eyes were welled with tears. Although I sat alone in the empty lounge, with nobody around, I tightly closed my lips for fear that somebody might hear me sobbing. I raised my trembling hands and covered my face.

What he said before he left was absolutely true, though I tried to ignore it. I knew he was getting better in his words and deeds, but I was always checking his present activities against what he did in the past. Even though I vowed I would escape from him, I used to compare him with the old him. Obviously, the way he acted to me now was completely different from what he had done in the past, but I continued to reflect on my memories of him in the past when I was with him. In the end, I enjoyed doing so. I thought I overcame my trauma when I didn’t feel repulsive about him and when I could confidently compare him with the old him.

Was I mistaken? I was short of breath. Suddenly, one question came to my mind when I was taking a breath.

Then, who did I pin my hope on when I entertained it a moment ago? Was it him now or the old him? If I had hope in the old him, was I still holding on to my ties with him in the past that I tried to cut off so desperately?

What he said kept hovering into my ears. The old him and he now and here, and me.

I felt dizzy.

“My Lady, please wake up!”

“… Lina.”

“My lady?”

Starting today, I was supposed to report to work at the Knights Division, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open. My voice was hoarse. Approaching my bed in a hurry, she touched my forehead and said in surprise, “My lady, you have a fever! Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”

“Really? I felt fine until yesterday. ”

“Wait a moment. I will tell your father.”

‘Oh, you don’t have to do that.’ I thought to myself.

I thought I didn’t feel good because I was very much agonized over what he said to me late into the night yesterday. I tried to raise my body, but I couldn’t strain my arms. My father came in with a surprised look when I was struggling to get up. Only

“Tia, I’ve just heard that you are sick. You looked fine just yesterday, but it looks like you overworked yourself these days. ”

“Dad.”

“You have a high fever. Take a rest today. ”

“But I have to report to work, starting today…”

“Let me tell you boss about your condition.”

He came to the side of my bed, gently hugged me as I tried to get up and had me lean on his chest. He said, touching my forehead, “I have to call a doctor.”

“Oh, no, Dad. I will be alright if I rest well. ”

“Okay, then take a rest. If the fever doesn’t go down in the afternoon, then let me call a doctor.”