The Abandoned Empress

“I’m very happy about your decision, Your Majesty,” I said, expressing gratitude by bowing to him. Then, I turned to the noble faction who were desperate to oppose his decision, and said clearly, smiling brightly at them, “I remember that everyone here said that Earl Lanier acted alone to poison me, so I don’t understand why you are so opposed. Do any of you have something to do with Lanier’s crime?”

“Lady Monique, watch your language!”

“Then why are you so opposed? If you are not involved in the incident, you will be found innocent whoever is in charge of the investigation, right?”

“… ”

They had no more reason to oppose.

The noble faction was undermined because of the ongoing investigation into Earl Lanier, while the pro-emperor faction plunged into chaos due to my abrupt request for the investigation.

Was it because of that? The lengthy meeting that lasted all afternoon finally ended when the emperor wrapped it up with a sigh.

When I was about to leave the place, rubbing my temple, I saw the two dukes and Marquis Enesil approaching me.

I smiled bitterly at them who were hesitating with mixed feelings. What are they going to say to me now?

“Do you have anything to say to me?”

“… ”

“If you don’t, let me leave now. Ah, Duke Verita, can I send someone to the government to receive some materials about the investigation?”

“Sure, no problem.”

“Thank you.” I politely bowed to the three and turned.

I felt vindicated but empty when the emperor accepted my request for the right to investigate the Lanier case. As soon as I went back home, I headed to the in-house office. I sat blankly in front of my desk for a long time, staring into the air. What happened at the meeting kept conjuring up in my mind. The pro-emperor faction was confused by my sudden change, while the noble faction was dumbfounded…and the emperor’s deeply subdued eyes were looking at me.

“Whew!”

With a sigh, I opened the drawer and noticed a small box deep inside. I slowly reached out and took it out.

When I opened the lid, the crest of a golden lion embroidered on the white cloth caught my eye. When I was looking down at the handkerchief for a long time, the door was suddenly flung open.

My eyes popped out. Why did he suddenly come here?

“Your Majesty?”

“Aristia.”

Only then did the butler and royal knights try to say something, then quickly closed the door.

When I saw him gasping for breath, I sighed in spite of myself. He must have come running here to outpace them.

“Your Majesty, how did you personally visit this place?”

“Because I have something to tell you.”

“Is it because of what happened today?”

“Exactly.”

“Your Majesty, you already know my decision. I’ve already made up my mind.”

When I answered with a firm voice, he walked a few steps towards me and said, “Can’t you change your mind?”

“You know. Today, I spoke as the representative of the Monique family. So, I can’t retract what I said.”

“You said you would like to request the breakoff, but I didn’t say I would approve it.”

“Oh, please don’t say that, Your Majesty.”

When I replied with a sigh,he walked one step closer to me and said, “I came to ask you one thing for the last time.”

“…Please go ahead.”

“Do you really hate me enough to persistently refuse your engagement to me, which was determined when you were born, and mention the breakoff at the official meeting?”

“… Your Majesty.”

“When I saw your attitude toward me on the day when the state funeral for the late emperor took place, I thought I could have some hope in our relationship, but was it just my illusion? Don’t you have any room for accepting me?”

His voice was distressed and his blue eyes were trembling.

I lowered my head because I had nothing to say. Although he sounded me out in various ways, this was the first time he asked me bluntly.

But what can I say? I couldn’t tell him about my painful memories in the past, and as a result I couldn’t love anybody now.

“Aristia.”

“… Sorry, Your Majesty. I have nothing else to say I’m sorry. ”

“Oh my…”

With a sigh he reached out. I stiffened instantly, but his arm was facing toward the box on the desk, not me. The crest of the golden lion embroidered on a white cloth and his initials were clearly visible.

What should I do? I wish I had put it away somewhere else.

When I was at a loss what to do, he asked, looking back at me while quietly touching the handkerchief with his thumb, “What is this handkerchief for?”

“… ”

“Please answer me. If you don’t think of me as a lover, why are you keeping this?”

I bit my lip tightly. I didn’t want to say this, but there seemed to be no other way than this.

“My Majesty, I wouldn’t say I never loved you in the past, though briefly.”

It was my sad confession that I really wanted to make to him, but now it’s just a thing of the past.

“But I don’t love you now.”

“Oh…”

The blood vein stood out on the back of his hand holding his handkerchief. My eyes were blurred with tears when I looked at him devastated. I felt heartbroken because of my painful memories and the current situation where I kept breaking his heart.

How much time passed? The eternity-like moment ended, and he put down the handkerchief. He turned silently, then whispered, holding the doorknob, “…I see. Let me do as you want.”

“… ”

Only when the white hem of his robe disappeared and the sound of his footsteps disappeared did I break into tears that I was holding back.

Tears fell on the crumpled white handkerchief. I felt like my heart was bursting out.

It looked like I could cry loudly if I stayed more, so I stood up, wiping my tears. I spread the crumpled handkerchief evenly and put it back inside the drawer when Lina came in and said, “My lady, the clothes you asked Mrs. Rosa for in the morning have just been delivered.”

“… Really? Okay. ”

I tried to act as casually as possible, but Lina seemed to have already noticed my condition.

I headed to the dressing room, ignoring Lina who moved her lips with a hesitant look.

After checking the condition of my dresses, I turned around, but suddenly I noticed one tightly hung inside.

Okay, let me get rid of this one, too, as I have made up my mind.

“I would like to sort out my dresses, so bring all of them to me.”

“All?”

“Yes, all of them.”

Looking at me curiously, she took out my clothes one by one.

I stiffened, looking at the watery dress that she held up. It was the dress he gave me the next day after I spent a night in the Imperial Palace. At that time I was so absent-minded that I didn’t give it a deep thought. Looking back, I felt something strange because it was tailored to me in terms of size and design.

‘Did he order this dress for me?’

I shook my head vigorously as something came to my mind at that moment. What’s the use of this dress now? Anyway my relationship with him is all over.

“Throw it away.”

“Pardon? But this one was… ”

“I told you to throw it away.”

“… Yes, my lady. ”

A variety of dresses in light pink, dark blue, sky blue, white began to pile up on one side of the dressing room. Few of the clothes Lina showed were put back to the dressing room. Only casual clothes, equestrian clothes, uniforms, and training clothes were put back in place. Only

“How about this one?”

“Whew!”

Suddenly, I felt jammed up on the inside.. What Lena showed was a white muslin dress, with multiple layers of red folds and rose decorations hanging here and there. It was the first gift that Carsein gave me.

I stopped. I didn’t hesitate to throw away almost all the clothes until now, but this time I couldn’t easily reply. But I shook my head vigorously and said firmly, shaking off my lingering affection, “Throw it away, too.”

“But this… ”

“I told you to throw it away.”

“… Okay. How about this one? ”

This time, it was a creamy dress. The dress had pale pink stones and small diamonds tightly sewn on the skirt. It was a gift given by the late emperor on the National Founding Day festival two years ago.