Spare Me, Great Lord!

When Lu Shu was 28 years old, his parents started to worry for him. They even brought him to see a doctor, a physiologist, and even a psychiatrist.

Lu Shu told the psychiatrist what he had been thinking about for many years. He was waiting for someone.

The psychiatrist comforted him for a long time. Then, he wrote in his medical records that he had paranoia.

When Lu Shu was 29 years old, his best friend got married. Lu Shu was the best man.

The dowry was a car. Lu Shu asked his friend whether he loved her. His friend replied, “Let’s forget about love. It’s good enough to live. Why are we talking about love at this age?”

When you were five years old, you would run to a field one kilometer away for a butterfly.

When you were ten years old, you would run through the streets and lanes to find an ice cream.

When you were 19 years old, you would go to a foreign city just for a person you liked.

When you were 29 years old, you would simply find anyone to spend the rest of your life with.

His friend said that he was growing more lazy. He was lazy to love and be loved.

Lu Shu looked at the red best man flower on his chest. Then, he looked at the beautiful bridesmaid beside him. His friend said, “This lady is still single. She is not bad. Her house is rather big. Her parents have stable jobs. She herself is a teacher.”

The wedding ceremony was bustling. A group of people Lu Shu did not know drank and chatted loudly at the tables. They joked about the new husband and wife, and how the best man and the bridesmaid were a good match.

Lu Shu was muddled. Perhaps the lady beside him was not bad? He sensed that she was interested in him, as the bride had told her that Lu Shu had been successful in his job for the past few years. While others were obsessed with love, he was working hard. He was working hard even when others got married and had children. His current salary was decent.

The male emcee recited the oath. The bride said, “I love you.” The bride replied, “I love you too.” Lu Shu did not know whether they were saying this to each other.

It was time for the bouquet throwing session. Whoever caught the bouquet would have good luck in marriage. Lu Shu’s friend intentionally asked his wife to throw the bouquet at Lu Shu.

But the bouquet flew in front of Lu Shu and dropped on the ground. The bridesmaid picked it up, but Lu Shu was spacing out.

There was suddenly an ache in his heart. Where were you?

The emcee suddenly laughed and asked, “Best man, why are you crying?”

Lu Shu snapped back. “Oh. I am happy for my good friend.”

The emcee clapped. “What a good friend.”

After the wedding, Lu Shu went to the groom’s house. He saw the beautiful bride sit with her legs crossed on the sofa.

When Lu Shu was 30 years old, his friend’s wife was pregnant. She quit her job to raise their family and took care of their children.

Lu Shu’s friend asked Lu Shu why he was not married yet. Lu Shu said that he was still waiting. His friend laughed out loud. “Lu Shu, you are very funny.”

When Lu Shu was 31 years old, his friend wanted to borrow money from him. He said that he would need to spend a few hundred thousand on childbirth and his child’s first month party. He could no longer afford it.

Lu Shu lent him the money and smiled. “I don’t really need the money. You can slowly return the money, but if you don’t return the money, there won’t be a next time.”

His friend said, “Relax. Seeing my child is like seeing my new life!”

Lu Shu was slightly jealous, but he still wanted to wait.

He waited for 15 years.

When he was 46 years old, his high school classmates had a gathering. The prettiest girl in their class had grown much fatter. She looked at Lu Shu in hesitation. Then, she laughed. “You still look the same.”

Lu Shu looked at himself in the mirror of the toilet. It was as if time was punishing him to wait for a person for his entire life, until his death.

Someone asked him how old his children were. Lu Shu replied that he was not married.

Everyone was shocked. “Are you still waiting for that person?”

Lu Shu remained silent for very long. Then, he replied, “Yes, I’m still waiting.”

His good friend asked, “Must it be her?”

Lu Shu hesitated for a very long time. In the end, he said, “Yes, it must be her.”

When Lu Shu was 47 years old, the economy went into recession. Lu Shu lost his job.

His juniors in the workplace were burning with passion. Lu Shu was no longer at an age where he could exert himself. He could not compete with the young people.

When Lu Shu was 50 years old, he went for a drink with his good friend. His good friend came to his house. They no longer needed to have a big drinking party or a feast. They had lived more than half of their lifespan. It was as if they could understand everything. They only needed two bottles of white wine.

After his good friend had drank until his face was red, he said that his body was growing worse. His life was plain. He only had daily necessities. His wife’s family was unhappy with him. His children had to attend many tutoring lessons.

He had to spend money in many areas. There were times when he almost collapsed when his wife looked through their accounts at midnight.

Kindergarten cost over a thousand, or even a few thousand dollars per month. So did their tutoring lessons. They spent a few hundred thousand every year. But when he looked at his children’s expectant gaze, he was not willing to admit that he could no longer bear it. He wanted his own life too.

His good friend said that his children were his pride. Their academics were much better than his. He wanted to create good conditions for his children.

When they started to apply for jobs, he told them to find a good job. However, his children were not willing to apply to them. It was as if there was a massive gap between the parents and their children. It was impossible to overcome.

The children looked at their father and said, “I don’t want to live like you.”

His good friend said that after his children started to work, they slowly understood him. But he wanted to tell them not to compromise for life and for the world.

As he spoke, his eyes grew red. He said, “This alcohol is really strong.”

When they drank at 56 years old, his friend was very silent. He said to Lu Shu, “Did you know? I’m jealous of you. You are all alone. You never have to compromise.”

Lu Shu was pained. “I have wanted to compromise, but I have waited for so many years. I only have a bit more left.”

His good friend asked, “What if she never comes?”

Lu Shu, who had been hesitating, suddenly said, “Then I’ll wait for another lifetime.”

When Lu Shu was 80 years old, his good friend fell very ill. Lu Shu came to his sickbed. His good friend pulled down the oxygen mask and said, “The past few days, the 80 years of my life have been like lantern slides, flashing past one by one.”

“Everything I’ve regretted and not regretted came clearly into view.”

Lu Shu held his hand. His skin was loose. It was like a layer covering his body. It might fall off at any moment.

His good friend suddenly cried. “Last night, I had a dream. I dreamed that we were back in that sports ground. We watched people play basketball in spring. Do you remember the girl who confessed to me? She passed me a bottle of mineral water. I looked back at the sports ground that was full of weeds.”

“The people around us were excitedly shouting. The noisy and bustling world was shouting, ‘Together! Together!’”

When Lu Shu was 90 years old, he was on a sickbed as well. No one came to visit him. Lu Shu lay on the sickbed alone. He was like an isolated city. One person, one city, one life of heartache.

Suddenly, a mysterious young man came to his room. He looked at the old Lu Shu and said, “Do you understand your intentions now?”