So Pure, So Flirtatious

Translator: Exodus Tales  Editor: Exodus Tales

Chapter 1677: The Bodyguards’ Tragedy

“There is no one here. How about on your side?” Bodyguard A asked impatiently. Although Yang Ming was still some distance away, he could walk that few tens of meters in an instant. They had to use every second they had.

“There is no one here as well,” Bodyguard B was a little excited. “This is really a god-sent opportunity. I guess we should just settle that Little Brat Yang here?”

” En, this is indeed a good opportunity. However, our boss told us to not expose our identity to this Little Brat Yang. I’m afraid that we have to disguise ourselves to ensure he does not recognize us,” Bodyguard B said.

“Indeed. However, we didn’t make any preparations since we rushed here,” Bodyguard B muttered to himself. “How about we immediately knock him out the moment he enters?”

“If we knock him out, how can we teach him a lesson? Besides, what if he wakes up because of pain after we hit him? What if he sees our faces?” Bodyguard A disagreed.

“That’s true. Besides, we aren’t sure if we can knock him out that fast,” Bodyguard B nodded. “We have to find some masks.”

“Where can you find a mask here?” Bodyguard A frowned, “Oh right. Do you have any stockings? I remember watching those criminals on television committing a crime while covering their heads with a stocking.”

“Dude! I’m a guy, and I have no special fetish. Where would I find a stocking from? My body?” Bodyguard B stared at him and said displeased.

“Then what should we do? That Little Brat Yang is going to enter very soon. Do we cover our faces with shit?” Bodyguard A said hurriedly.

“I have a good plan,” Bodyguard B suddenly said.

“What plan? Say it!” Bodyguard A rushed him.

“We can take off our underwear and put it over our heads. Won’t the problem be settled this way?” Bodyguard B suggested.

“How is that a good idea?” Bodyguard A frowned. However, after remaining silent for a moment, he nodded and said, “We can only do that! Take it off!”

Bodyguard A and Bodyguard B quickly took off their trousers and their underwear. After they concealed their face with their underwear, they quickly put on their trousers again.

“If I knew this would happen, I would have changed my underwear yesterday. This underwear reeks of sweat. The stench is horrid!” Bodyguard A complained.

“I’m the one who has it worse. Today on the airplane, my stomach was suddenly aching. Someone was occupying the toilet when I ran there. I held it in for so long outside the toilet, and I couldn’t help but fart a little. However, even a little of my feces came out as well. Now, it has the stench of my feces…” Bodyguard B said bitterly.

“You stay away from me!” Bodyguard A quickly moved away.

Yang Ming did not enter immediately when he reached the toilet door. Instead, he remained standing outside the door. He used his special ability to observe the two bodyguard’s movements. After seeing the two of them putting their underwear on their head and hearing their words, Yang Ming almost burst out laughing.

Putting their underwear over their head? How did they come up with such a novel idea? Also, based on their conversation earlier, the underwear even has feces? Even someone like Yang Ming was filled with admiration. He is much more overbearing than me!

“This time, that Little Brat Yang won’t be able to recognize us!” Although Bodyguard B was smelling his own feces, he still had to do his duty. He could only endure it.

” En. Chen Fei is the bureau chief of the Song Jiang Police Department. If he comes to know about this, then we will have a bad end. Even if the boss didn’t remind us, we still have to be very careful!” Bodyguard A nodded and agreed, “Why isn’t Yang Ming coming in? We prepared so much for this. Could it be that he’s not going to the washroom?”

“That should be impossible. I saw him walking in this direction. Other than the toilet, there is only an emergency passage here. Even if he wanted to go downstairs, he would have to take the elevator. He can’t be taking the stairs, right?” Bodyguard B started analyzing.

“How about I open the door and take a look?” Bodyguard A hesitated and said.

Although the two of them had rushed to take off their underwear, they still took a long time to finish disguising themselves. No matter how slow Yang Ming was, he shouldn’t take so long to walk from the private room to the toilet, right?

“Don’t do it. What if that Little Brat Yang comes in the moment you open the door? Wouldn’t that ruin our plan?” Bodyguard B was against Bodyguard A’s suggestion.

“That’s true!” Bodyguard A nodded and said, “How about we lean against the door to hear the movements outside?”

” En, there should be no problem if we do that,” Bodyguard B nodded and placed his ear on the toilet door.

Yang Ming stood outside of the toilet, contemplating whether he should take action against these two bodyguards. In all honesty, Yang Ming did not want to expose his strength so early in front of Chen Zhiye.

Yang Ming felt that Chen Zhiye had something under his sleeves. He wouldn’t just have these means. Although Yang Ming was not afraid of him, he still had some complicated relationship with Chen Fei and Seventh Grandfather Chen. Unless it was necessary, Yang Ming did not want to oppose him and discomfit Chen Fei.

Of course, if Chen Zhiye did not appreciate it and kept looking for troubles, then Yang Ming wouldn’t mind teaching him a lesson.

However, it was not Yang Ming’s character to just let these two bodyguards go… At this moment, Yang Ming’s telephone rang.

Yang Ming looked at the caller. It was Chen Fei. All of a sudden, he thought up a plan in his mind.

“Hello, Uncle Chen!” Yang Ming picked up the phone.

“Yang Ming, why are you taking so long to pee? Could it be that you fell in the toilet? Should I come and find you?” Chen Fei’s voice sounded from the telephone.

” Hah, how could that be? I just went in the wrong direction…” Yang Ming smiled and said. He had already made up his mind. He used his special ability to lock onto the two bodyguards in the toilet, “I drank a bit too much. I’m so dizzy that I can’t tell which way I’m going.”

“Your alcohol tolerance is so bad. I thought you were very good.” Chen Fei burst out with laughter upon hearing Yang Ming’s words.

In the bathroom, Bodyguard B frowned. “It seems like this Little Brat Yang is answering a phone call outside the door. He mentioned “Uncle Chen”. It seems like Chen Fei is the one who just called.”

“Let me hear,” Bodyguard A placed his ear on the door and listened closely to the movements outside. After that, he said, “Not good. He is indeed taking a phone call. Does that mean we still can’t take action yet? If we were to take action now, the person on the other side of the phone would be able to hear everything clearly. If Chen Fei were to hear it, he would immediately come here. When the time comes, we would be the unlucky ones instead.”

“That’s right. We’re really unfortunate!” Bodyguard B said helplessly.

Yang Ming’s mouth curved into a cold smile after hearing their conversation. This was his plan. He was sure that these two bodyguards would not dare to take action against him while he was on a call Chen Fei. Now then, wait for me to trample on you two!

Yang Ming used his special ability to look at the two bodyguards who were leaning on the door. He then raised his leg and kicked open the door. With a loud “bang”, the toilet’s automatic door knocked the two bodyguards to the ground with flailing limbs. Behind the door was a big pail which was used to store rubbish. The two bodyguards slipped and knocked over the pail. The rubbish in the big pail fell onto and buried the two of them.

“Ouch…” Bodyguard B groaned as he had knocked the back of his head. His eyes rolled and he fainted.

Bodyguard A had also gotten hit heavily. Blood was flowing out from his nose. However, he did not dare to shout and scold Yang Ming. It is just opening the door. Why did you use so much force? Are you crazy?

He didn’t think that Yang Ming had done it on purpose. After all, Yang Ming was standing outside the toilet. It was impossible for him to know that the two of them were leaning on the toilet’s door. How could it be intentional? This door doesn’t even have a window!

How could he know that Yang Ming possessed special abilities that allowed him to see through objects? Because of it, the two bodyguards ended up in a tragedy…

Chapter 1678: Yang Ming’s Underhanded Tactics

This kind of underhanded tactic was even more satisfying for Yang Ming than beating them up. Yang Ming didn’t even look at the two behind the door because he had already seen how they had ended up using his special ability.

Yang Ming was still on the phone call as he walked into the toilet.

“What was that loud sound?” Chen Fei heard the sound of Yang Ming kicking the door, so he asked.

” Oh, this toilet uses an automatic door. It was a little tight. I pushed it just now and it didn’t open, so I kicked it open, Yang Ming explained. It looked like he was explaining it to Chen Fei. However, the explanation was actually meant for the two bodyguards. It was to prevent them from being suspicious. That was the reason why he explained it in detail.

As expected, Bodyguard A who had not fainted rolled his eyes helplessly after hearing what Yang Ming said. How am I so unlucky? We haven’t even faced each other, and I haven’t even taught him a lesson yet, but we have already been knocked out by the door. My nose is already full of blood, and my partner is still unconscious… This is such a failure!

Yang Ming pretended to be drunk while walking into the toilet. He did not even look at the urinal opposite him. He took off his pants the moment the automatic door closed with a “bang”. He peed into the heap of rubbish.

While he was peeing, he talked to Chen Fei through the phone, “Uncle Chen, why is this toilet so dirty? Why is there rubbish everywhere? I’m peeing on a pile of rubbish…”

“Yang Ming, did you go to the wrong place?” Chen Fei got confused. “Are you really in the toilet? Don’t simply urinate anywhere.”

“It looks like it,” Yang Ming’s mouth showed a smile that was hard to notice.

“Forget it. This is your hotel after all. Do whatever you want,” Chen Fei said helplessly. “It seems like you are really drunk.”

“What drunk? I’m not drunk. I’m still wide awake!” Yang Ming spat with his tongue but he never stopped peeing.

Although the trash had already covered the Bodyguards’ bodies, Yang Ming used his special abilities to lock onto their locations. Because of this, all the piss was spraying both of them.

Bodyguard A had almost gone crazy. His nostrils were filled with Yang Ming’s piss. He really wanted to jump out from the rubbish dump and throw Yang Ming into the toilet bowl. However, he put up with it in the end.

This was because he couldn’t reason away why he was hiding in a pile of rubbish. The rubbish had been knocked down by Yang Ming when he kicked open the door. He had no way of explaining why he had been secretly hiding and eavesdropping behind the door.

Even if everything was coincidental, and Yang Ming and Chen Fei believed him, how would he explain the underwear they had on their heads?

Could he tell them that he was acting as an underwear hero because he drank too much?

Bodyguard A did not want to cause any additional problems and induce Chen Fei’s suspicion! After all, they were both Chen Zhiye’s bodyguards. Their identity would be easily identified the moment Chen Fei comes and investigates.

How could it be a coincidence? The two people’s evil intentions would be exposed. Because of this, Bodyguard A decided to hold it in. When he really couldn’t handle it anymore, he decided to think of those professionals from Japan… For example, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

Therefore, Bodyguard A decided to continue holding it in and pretended to be the highest-ranking Ninja Turtle.

Seeing Bodyguard A’s fluctuation expression, Yang Ming could guess what he was thinking about. This bodyguard was probably afraid of piss flowing into his nose and eyes. He didn’t dare to breathe nor open his mouth. He was just holding his breath.

Seeing this, Yang Ming smirked. He suddenly stopped peeing, as if he had already finished. He even shook a bit.

When Bodyguard A noticed that no more piss was flowing, he thought that Yang Ming had finished peeing. He had almost run out of breath just now. He immediately opened his mouth and prepared to take in a deep breath. However, the moment he opened his mouth, another stream of piss entered his mouth without any warning. It choked his lungs, but he didn’t dare to cough. His face turned purple as if it was a pork liver.

Yang Ming smirked secretly and pulled up his pants. He then turned around and exited out of the toilet door. After that, he talked on the phone and said, “Uncle Chen, I’ll hang up first. I’m coming back now.”

” Oh, then we’ll continue talking when you come back. You have to be careful! Should I let Mengyan escort you?” Chen Fei asked while feeling a little worried.

” Hehe, I’m fine, Uncle Chen.” Yang Ming’s tone suddenly returned to normal. “I can go back by myself.”

“En?” Chen Fei was shocked for a while. He shook his head, but he did not believe Yang Ming when he said that he was feeling fine. On normal occasions, no one drunk would admit that they were drunk.

Yang Ming returned the phone to his pocket. This phone was the Nokia 1200 that he had gotten for Chen Mengyan at first. Chen Mengyan did not use this phone anymore as she had changed her phone to an N97. After Yang Ming’s phone was drenched in water, he placed his SIM card into this old phone while he was in Chen Mengyan’s house. It was usable. However, there weren’t many features. He couldn’t read novels on it.

Yang Ming reverted his staggering posture to normal when he returned to his seat.

“En?” Chen Fei was shocked when he saw how clear Yang Ming’s eyes were. He didn’t look drunk at all. He asked curiously, “Yang Ming, have you sobered up already?”

“Uncle Chen, I wasn’t even drunk.” Yang Ming smiled, “I was acting just now.”

“Acting?” Chen Fei frowned, “Why were you pretending to be drunk?”

Chen Fei didn’t think that Yang Ming was so bored that he pretended to be drunk to entertain him. He must have had a purpose. Therefore, Chen Fei was not angry. Based on his understanding of Yang Ming, Yang Ming wouldn’t be so childish.

” Hehe, when I went out just now, I met the two bodyguards of Chen Zhiye,” Yang Ming snickered. He did not hide it.

“Those two bodyguards?” Chen Fei’s facial expression turned serious, “They wanted to harm you?”

Yang Ming nodded. He did not have to hide it from Chen Fei. After all, Chen Fei would not blame Yang Ming for taking action in the future if he knew beforehand about the conflict between Chen Zhiye and Yang Ming.

“The two of them saw that I wanted to go to the toilet, so they went in ahead of me,” Yang Ming felt like laughing as he said this. “They wanted to take action against me in the toilet. However, I received your phone call while I was in the toilet. When they heard that you were the one who called me, they did not dare to take action against me anymore…”

“No wonder you were so patient and blabbering nonsense for such a long time.” Chen Fei nodded. He understood what Yang Ming meant. However, his facial expression was a little weird. He knew that with Yang Ming’s skills, he wouldn’t be afraid of these two bodyguards. Why did he use such a method?

Yang Ming could tell that Chen Fei was confused based on his expression. He shrugged and said, “I was afraid that you would be troubled if you were stuck in the middle of the conflict between me and Chen Zhiye, so I did not directly take action against those two.”

Chen Fei nodded and looked at Yang Ming with gratitude. If this thing had really gone wrong, then he would have to separate himself from the Chen Family Village.

” I did not directly take action against them. But I still had to teach them a lesson,” Yang Ming laughed treacherously as he said until here. “I pretended to be drunk and kicked the door open. In the end, those two idiots suffered a tragedy. They got knocked over by the door and collapsed behind it. One guy fainted and the other’s face was filled with blood. They also knocked over the rubbish bin at the back, and were buried under a pile of rubbish.”

“…” Chen Fei stared at Yang Ming as he was dumbfounded. This guy is really insidious! He finally knew why Yang Ming wanted to kick the door… As he thought until here, Chen Fei’s expression turned weird all of a sudden, “Yang Ming, you said that you pissed on a garbage pile… Could it be…”

” Hehe, that’s right. These two people drank my piss. Gaga!” Yang Ming laughed cheekily.

“Pfft…” Chen Fei spat out the alcohol that was in his mouth, lay on the table and started laughing. Chen Fangyu and Chen Mengyan naturally heard what had happened. When they heard that Yang Ming had kicked the door and knocked the two of them over, they already wanted to laugh. After hearing how Yang Ming pissed right on top of them, they couldn’t hold it in anymore and started to laugh while covering their mouths.

“Yang Ming, you just let them suffer in silence! Even if Chen Zhiye knew about it, he can do nothing. Other than being angry, he won’t have any other thoughts.” While Chen Fei was laughing, he was also amazed by Yang Ming’s wit.