Rebirth in the Apocalypse: Third Time's a Charm



You know, 'problem' is a very mundane word that I think we overused for anything that stumps us. For a 4-year-old, 'problem' could be not being able to twist open his water bottle. For elementary students, a 'problem' might be trying to add 687 and 390, while in university, a 'problem' could be what you wanted to do for the rest of your life.

And I am not taking anything away from those problems. They are very real and can seem overwhelming at the time.  But when Liu Wei said that we had a 'problem' I was not expecting this.

I stepped between Liu Yu Zeng and Chen Zi Han and was secretly grateful that they were the ones down here with me. Don't get me wrong, I trust Liu Wei and Wang Chao just as much, otherwise, I wouldn't have them keeping watch at the top of the stairs, but I found them not as… grey… as my syndicate men. And right now, I really needed grey.

I looked around the open area that had to be more than 1,000 square feet in dimension.  To the far right were overly large cages that could easily fit a very large dog like an Irish Wolf Hound or Hell, even a bear. And in each one of the 50-some-odd cages was a rotten mattress on the ground, a dirty blanket filled with so many holes that it looked more like strings than an actual blanket, and a rubber container.

The girls that stared out at me from those cages, their hair hung over their faces so that I couldn't make out their features, but not so much that I couldn't see their eyes, were dirty and emaciated. But then again, I guess not eating for almost two months would do that to you. Their grim-covered hands gripped the bars from where they kneeled, the cage too short to allow them to stand.

"Are… are you here to save us?" asked a hesitant voice from one of the cages in the shadow. This girl looked better than the others in the basement and I could only guess that she was a new acquisition.

Ignoring the four men tied to some metal chairs in front of me, I walked around them toward the girl. Crouching down in front of her, I reached between the bars and gently stroked her greasy, knotty hair.  I gave her my gentlest smile as I looked deep into her eyes.

"Oh, pumpkin," I crooned to her in my most soothing voice. "There is no way that we are here to save you," I chuckled as I let go of her hair and stood up. Looking at the dirt on my hand, I returned to the guys, not willing to rub the offending appendage on my white snow pants. Chen Zi Han gently pulled my right hand closer to him and took out a wet wipe out of his pocket and started to clean my hand, being precise in his ministrations.

I smiled at him when he threw the polluted wipe onto the floor, not saying a single word since his 'safe' a few minutes ago.  Taking back my hand, I turned my attention back to the four men in front of me and studied them.  I kind of wish that whoever had beaten them had taken more care with their faces, but I guess that some sacrifices had to be made. I wonder what their expressions were when they woke up completely helpless.

I burst out laughing thinking about what a bitch Karma was. "Gentlemen," I said as I crouched down in front of the man closest to me. Chen Zi Han, not appreciating how close I was to a source of danger, came to stand just behind my right-hand side. The man in front of me struggled against their bindings without success. Impress with the efficiency of whoever did this to them, I looked over at Liu Yu Zeng. "Your men are really good," I complimented him. He looked over at me with a blank look on his face. I knew that was his working look, so I didn't take offense at all to his lack of normal reply.

"Gentlemen," I said again as the man stopped struggling. "I have a problem," I said with a smile on my face. There was that word again. "I think that we can all agree that you are not some of the most upstanding citizens that call Country K home. I mean, my boys have their fingers in a lot of pies but I don't think that even they peddled in flesh," I continued tilting my head to the girls still lined up in their cages.

"But my problem is this: I have been told that I can be too nice, too kind, too caring. Now, at the time, I didn't really pay any attention to the criticism, thinking that being nice, kind and caring was a good thing, but when those people then killed me, well… I am thinking that I have to reconsider a few things."  I stood up and reached up to Chen Zi Han's face. Looking deep into his eyes, I studied them, looking for disgust or anything that remotely showed that he was… repulsed… by what I was going to do next.

But I had to do this for me. When I saw nothing but love and acceptance in his gaze I brought him down for a kiss. As my lips tangled with his, I brought my right hand down his arm and to where he held the switchblade in his hand.  Gently taking it out of his grasp, I pulled away from the kiss, once again searching for something in his eyes.

They shone with my reflection, and I smiled. Looking over my shoulder to my joker, I saw him nod in acceptance. This is why I needed the grey. Because I was about to do something that I had never dreamed that I would ever do in my first two lives.

"My problem is… I need you to pop my cherry, so to speak," I said as I went back to the man tied in front of me. "I have been on the receiving end of torture, I had months to experience every aspect of it, in all its forms, but not once have I ever found myself able to torture someone else.  Oh sure, I thought about it. I used to dream about what I would do to those Reavers once I got out, I pictured cutting them open like they did me, only to have me put back together without a single scar. I would rail against the injustices of the world. And you know what I did when I finally managed to escape the cage that was not much better than the ones that hold those girls?"  I could feel that I had the complete attention of all the men and girls in the room as I spoke, but I didn't stop.

Those months trapped were the hardest that I had ever been through, and I never got over it. The nightmares followed me into this life and I refused to give those fucking Reavers another moment of my pain and torment.

I would admit that being betrayed by everyone that I had saved and sacrificed for was a big regret, but that was not the open wound inside of me. Not by a long shot.

No, the open wound inside of me was that when I managed to escape, I didn't try to take a single one of them down with me, not even when they killed the Healer right in front of me as I stood still, frozen. I could still see the leader of that tribe of Reavers smile as he sliced the throat of the only person that kept his fighters in mint condition.

But instead of killing him, instead of releasing my pink flame, I turned tail and ran, his laughter echoing in the darkness.

Forcing myself out of my head and back to the present. I knew what I had to do. It was similar to buying out the entire bakery of sweets, forcing myself to be selfish for a change. This next step, this big step would help me in the future. Because I would hunt down those Reavers, and when I did, I would extract all of my revenge on them.

And hopefully, I could stop seeing her face when I closed my eyes. 'Shut the door,' I called up to Wang Chao, knowing that he was inside of my head, seeing my memories with me. I didn't want the sound to travel out of the basement. I didn't want them to see what I could become.

Because I would become that person.

When I heard the door gently close, I took in a deep breath and smiled. "I need to learn how to inflict the most amount of pain on a human being and how to prolong that feeling for a long time. And you are just the gentlemen to help me."

Seeing their eyes widen in panic, I had a brief feeling of it myself. Despite my bravo, despite my determination, I had no idea where to start. I was still that girl that watched a man slit the throat of the only woman that was like a true mother to me and did nothing. I wanted to put my knife against his cheek and slice a piece of flesh off of it. I wanted to break his knees and watched him scream, I wanted to be able to do all of that, but the very thought make me want to puke.

What should I do?!?