Pursuit of the Truth

1

“Berserker Consort…”

“Greetings, Berserker Consort…”

“The nobility of the Berserker Consort is the glory of the Berserkers…”

Mixed memories surged into Su Ming from all directions when he spread his divine sense from the holy island. In the blink of an eye, he covered the entire Berserkers’ world, and under his will, he obtained practically all the memories regarding the Berserker Consort from the Berserkers.

But they were incomplete, just bits and pieces. If Su Ming increased the power of his divine sense, he would definitely obtain all the answers he wanted, but the price for it… would be that most of the Berserkers would die because their divine senses would collapse.

After a long while, when the notes of the Chinese zither echoed in the air again, Su Ming retrieved his divine sense. Based on many people’s memories, he saw that most of the Berserkers held the Berserker Consort in reverence.

She was a spiritual symbol for the Berserkers. From the amount of respect the Berserkers had for the Berserker Consort, Su Ming could tell that if Fang Cang Lan had not existed, the Berserkers, who had been like scattered sand, would have disappeared in the slaughter of their own kind during the one thousand something years.

Su Ming was silent. He did not obtain any concrete answers, but he did gain some understanding. With a hint of regret, he looked at Fang Cang Lan who sat by the Chinese zither and played the instrument to tell of her loneliness. Then, he lifted his right hand and swung his arm before him.

With it, time immediately started flowing in reverse in his mind.

Ten years ago… Fang Cang Lan stood beside her window and stared at the sun setting in the distance. There was a desolate air about her, along with a hint of loss. Behind her were the Fated Kin telling her things happening among the Berserkers in a whisper.

Twenty years ago… Fang Cang Lan played her zither. Her beautiful face was like a statue. She seemed to have really become a living statue.

Thirty years ago… envoys were sent from all the islands in the land of Berserkers to worship the God of Berserkers. Tens of thousands of people filled the holy land and worshiped Fang Cang Lan. The sounds of people calling out to the Berserker Consort echoed in the air and traveled through the passage of time to land in Su Ming’s ears.

Forty years ago…

Fifty years ago… besides appearing once in a blue moon before the Berserkers, most of the time, Fang Cang Lan would stay in the palace and quietly play her zither while watching the sky outside through her window.

Two hundred years ago, the moonlight shining through the rain at night scattered on the sea, and it looked like the moon had turned into crystals. While by the window, Fang Cang Lan looked incredibly frail. She simply let the wind sweep up the rain and land on her body.

It rained all night…

Three hundred years ago. The usual calm look on Fang Cang Lan’s face was no longer around. Occasionally, conflict would appear on her face, and Su Ming could also see uncertainty as well as a hint of resignation. Only the zither’s company could allow her to calm down. It did not matter whether it was snow or rain, she would quietly live in the cage that did not seem like a cage.

Four hundred years ago…

Five hundred years ago…

Su Ming saw all that happened during the time Fang Cang Lan lived in the palace in reverse. He saw her acceptance return to being a silence, then her original struggles.

This was not training in isolation. If it was, then the period of one thousand something years might not have been a long time to get through. It would have been over in the blink of an eye, but this was a person living in a palace for a thousand something years. This period of time was enough to crush a person, especially when they were just a woman.

Six hundred years ago…

Seven hundred years ago…

When one thousand something years reversed before Su Ming’s eyes, he saw how the palace was built, saw the Berserkers worship the place for one thousand something years, and saw Fang Cang Lan become the soul of the Berserkers when they were just scattered sand.

Su Ming came to understand why the power of the laws of fate was so great in the Berserkers’ world. It was all… because of Fang Cang Lan.

Then, he saw the holy land of the Berserkers and the Fated Kin before the palace was built. Over there, he saw Man Ya, Xue Sha, Tian Qi, Wu Shuang, and Chi Lei Tian. These were the powerful warriors of the past whom Su Ming had given a place for their tribes to grow. They stood on the mountain with Fang Cang Lan, staring at the rise and fall of the sea in the distance.

By their side was a gentle-looking man. He was… Su Ming’s second senior brother.

“I will leave now. I will leave the land of Berserkers to go to the worlds beyond… and search for my youngest junior brother, your God of Berserkers.

“I have to obey the Brand of the will left on me in the land. I do not know whether my memories will still be complete after I leave or whether I will lose some of them, but I have a feeling that when I leave this time, I will forget some things…

“My memories regarding the Berserkers will become much more clouded. This is the price. If I want to obtain great power, this is the price I have to pay for the Brand to be left on me by the will of the land…

“Right now, while I still have a clear mind and remember all my memories… I believe that the Berserkers need a symbol. I might not be a Berserker, but my youngest junior brother is the God of Berserkers. You… need a symbol that will allow the souls of your race to gather as one.

“She will be the Berserker Consort. With the status of the fourth God of Berserkers’ concubine, she will stand above all people and gather together the scattered souls of the Berserkers. That is my suggestion.”

…..

The scenes of the past shattered into bits and pieces before Su Ming’s eyes, as if a mirror had been broken. The fragments disappeared into space like they had never existed.

Su Ming returned to the present. He returned to the moment when he stared at Fang Cang Lan, and the sounds of the Chinese zither reached his ears.

He saw Fang Cang Lan’s entire story during the one thousand something years, saw the tears falling down from the corners of her eyes when she meditated at night, saw her waiting for him, and saw all that she gave up for the Berserkers.

This was a very determined woman, a woman who could sacrifice everything in her life for her Berserkers. Yet perhaps… she did not do all of this for the Berserkers, but more for Su Ming.

One thousand something years might not seem long, but such a time would seem long when a person could not see the end in sight, when they knew that what their future held was only a continuation of staying in a cage that was not a cage.

Perhaps… they would have to wait until the day the Dead Sea dried up.

Slowly, the woman who was now slightly older than she was in the past overlapped with the image of the woman who quietly watched him leave with the wind blowing in her face while she stood on a mountain on Southern Swamp Island in Su Ming’s mind.

“I… am back,” he said with a gentle expression.

The regret in his heart was growing stronger and stronger. When time went back one thousand years in his mind, the regret was so great that it buried itself deeply in his soul. He could not wipe it out, and it would not disappear.

Su Ming did not know what sort of emotions he harbored towards Fang Cang Lan. It did not matter whether it was in the past or the present, those feelings had settled in the passage of time, and right then, it had turned into wine that had been brewed for a thousand years.

Only those who personally drank the cup would know its taste. It turned into three words, and when Su Ming said them in a gentle voice, he still sounded hoarse.

The sounds of the Chinese zither came to an abrupt halt at that moment. Fang Cang Lan shuddered lightly. She lifted her head and slowly turned around to stare at the figure who had appeared at some unknown point in time beside her.

That figure had an unfamiliar face, and even his presence was unfamiliar, but the gentle look in its eyes was the exact same one she had seen an uncountable amount of times in her dreams.

Her expression was calm, but under it was an indescribable excitement and a myriad of complicated feelings. They turned into tears that flowed down the corners of her eyes for all the thousand years…

“We were linked through fate while we were under Han Mountain Bell…” Su Ming mumbled. He lifted his right hand and had his fingers weave through Fang Cang Lan’s hair.

“We met each other on the ninth summit…” he said softly.

Fang Cang Lan bit the bottom of her lip and stared at Su Ming in a daze. She tried her best to remain calm, to stop her tears from flowing down, but she could not do it.

“The Berserkers and Shamans fought, and when we met again, the people were already scattered…”

Su Ming caressed Fang Cang Lan’s hair and gently drew her into his embrace. When her head was buried in Su Ming’s chest, he sensed her heartbeat and felt the anguish and the wait contained in her tears during the thousand years.

“We looked at each other from the distance while we were in Southern Swamp Island, and when I left, I once cast a glance in your direction from afar…”

Su Ming stared at the woman resting against his chest. The regret in his heart made him unable to say another word.

There were no longer any words for his love.

Who was it that had dragged out this yearning that lasted for a thousand something years? It lasted from the time when the continents were still around until the continents were submerged and they broke into islands… The beautiful moments of life only last for an instant, and they are absolutely not to be regarded as a first meeting…

The acquaintanceship they built in the past seemed to still remain, but as the world changed during the one thousand something years, it fell like dust falling into a river. Even if they searched for it, they would not find it.

Robes danced and fluttered in the wind and rain beyond the window. The moonlight crept in quietly, unable to help itself. Time sighed, stirring up the sadness of separation… There was nothing else that would add more sorrow.

Did another autumn pass by in the dream?

Fang Cang Lan’s head was lowered and buried in Su Ming’s chest. The things of the past could no longer be remembered clearly. She could not tell whether this moment was a dream, or just sadness…

She still sighed softly. Tears flowed from the corners of her eyes. They seemed to reflect the figure who had once danced with the wind on the mountain. It stood in the passage of time and waited until her beauty came to an end. Her sigh at that moment seemed to speak of all that she could not say.

But if that sigh moved past a person’s life like a fleeting guest, then that person’s heart would no longer be in pain. The sigh would also last for just an instant. It would not linger for more than three breaths… The two people could only sigh and lament that if they could relive their lives, then perhaps they would never get to know each other.

If they never met, then perhaps they would never owe each other and could be like orchids in a valley. They could watch the sky become empty, the earth grow old, the sea dry up, and the stones decay.

They could be free of their burdens. They could have a Chinese zither serve as their company while lying back against a chair as they sat under the moon with a smile. When they slept in the afternoon, they would wake up groggy. They could deceive their dreams and deceive their own emotions…

A faint fragrance came from Fang Cang Lang’s long hair. Her sleeves were of a faint color, and her face clean. She did not wish for them to have been together in their past life or become so in the present,or their future lives. She had no desires. Her heart was calm… She felt no pain.

Su Ming held Cang Lan in his arms. Her frail body brought pain to him. It cut deep, but it had come a thousand years too late. Right then, the woman in his arms was no longer a gentle breeze that would disappear once it blew past him, like it did one thousand something years ago. Instead, she had seeped into the depths of his heart and become an eternal presence.

He could not see Cang Lan’s eyes. She was staring at the palace’s window while she lay against his chest. She stared at the color of dusk that would not disappear. The sun of autumn seemed to bring forth the yearning surrounding her for years, and she murmured a single sentence that had been buried in her heart for years, one that she had been unable to say in the past.

“I forgot all the vicissitudes of life, forgot the numerous living beings around me, forgot myself, but I still couldn’t forget you…”

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