Pet King

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio  Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

Morning.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep—

The third time that the phone’s alarm rang, Xiao Tianyu finally sat up from the anti-moisture mat with a huge yawn, his eyes not even open.

The most infuriating thing was that these weird-tasting water filters were limited-edition. Otherwise, he would have spat out that mouthful of water a long time ago. Now, he could only suffer through the taste as he gulped it down.

“Ah!” With half a bottle of water down, his thirst was kept at bay for the moment.

The camp was quiet, as no one had woken up yet.

Xiao Tianyu was used to waking up half an hour earlier than everyone else, as he took a longer time on the toilet. He’d gotten used to playing with his phone on the toilet, so he ended up taking at least half an hour every day.

He has witnessed how scary Peter Lee is. If he took too long while relieving himself and ended up delaying the whole team’s progress, that person would come over to him. Not to scold him, not to rush him, but to squat down right in front of him and stare at him. That was way too scary!

So since he couldn’t change his habit, and he didn’t want to go through that kind of horror again, he could only adjust his alarm to be half an hour earlier than everyone else’s.

Even though he was sleepy, the feeling of being at the washroom by himself was pretty great. Under the barest conditions, right under the sky and right above the sandy earth, without any form of dividers at all, a few men squatted beside each other with their behinds bare, and beneath them were a few potholes that they’d dug themselves. If he went too late, he might even unearth someone else’s fresh excretion… Way too disgusting!

If he went early, then he would leave all of the risk to others.

Every time Xiao Tianyu relieved himself, he would carefully use the sand to bury it, even smoothing out the surface to make it seem as though no one had touched it. Maybe someone would unearth the mine then…

With evil thoughts in his mind, he started chuckling to himself like an idiot, the thrill of revenge satisfying.

His tummy was starting to grumble, and the urge to go came right on time. He picked up a roll of toilet paper in one hand with his phone in his pocket. With the theme song of his newest favorite show on his lips, he pulled open the zipper of his tent before stumbling out of it.

Unsurprisingly, the others had yet to awaken, and the sky was still dark. There was only a silhouette seated on the top of the outermost jeep. That was the last person on duty for night patrol.

Xiao Tianyu waved his toilet paper at that person to indicate that he was going to relieve himself and went around the line of jeeps to their designated spot to go to the bathroom.

In order to be safe against something like someone having diarrhea last night, he used his shoes to dig a shallow hole in the sand first before using his hands to dig further when it was safe. When it was all said and done, he took off his pants and squatted, content.

He raised his phone, playing the shows that he had downloaded onto his phone before they’d come to Egypt, proud at himself for how smart he was. There was no internet here, so what could he do to pass the time on the toilet? He didn’t like reading novels either, and there were no ants around to spray his pee at.

An episode of anime was 20-plus minutes long. If he skipped past the opening and ending songs, it was about 15 minutes long, so he could enjoy two episodes while on the toilet. Of course, he had to change his position throughout his time at the washroom, or his legs would go numb and weak, and he’d end up knee deep in his own sh*t.

When he’d changed to his third or fourth position, and with the sun a little brighter now, he saw a black blob in the distance—the jeep that they had discovered yesterday evening, half sunken in sand.

“I wonder if there’s any clean bottled water in there…” he muttered under his breath.

But even if there was, he didn’t dare go near it anyway, with all the quicksand around it. He’d rather drink oddly-flavored filtered water than to give up his life to Hades.

He’d heard that they were going to further investigate the car today, but that was completely unrelated to him. He was just here for a nice line on his resume and bragging rights, so he could say that he had been chosen to be part of their expedition to Egypt. If they could get ground-breaking results from their expedition, it would be a huge advantage to his job search after graduation, while the other biology students struggled to find employment.

“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up, you lazy *sses!” Peter Lee’s screaming cut through the whole camp.

Time sure passed quickly. Half an hour was over so soon…

He turned off his video player and wiped his butt with the toilet paper, gritting his teeth as he worked against the soreness of his legs to stand up. He pulled his pants up, using his feet to kick at the sand and cover up his smelly excretion, then carefully created some natural waves on it.

People said that cats had the habit of covering up their own excretions too, but he didn’t have one, and he hadn’t seen it, either.

“Tch! Perfect! Heh heh, let’s see if I can prank someone today…”

He patted his tummy, satisfied, walking back to the camp grounds.

“Gah!”

When he walked past the biggest tent, he suddenly heard a weird caw coming from it and stopped. He knew that this was Zhang Zian’s tent, and that there was a cat and a dog in there, but what was with that weird noise?

Oh right, that reminded him. Was this brat secretly enjoying his magic trick to bring up Ms. Zhi Ling?

Holy sh*t! He had to catch him in the act today and make him teach him his trick! He reached his hand out, and just as he was about to touch the zipper of the tent, he heard another foreign male voice.

“Hey buddy, I think you’ve got the wrong door. The leather club is two blocks down!”

What the heck? Xiao Tianyu was stunned. He had already slowed down. Had Zhang Zian still heard his footsteps? But who was this man? Why was he in Zhang Zian’s tent this early in the morning?

Besides, that sentence seemed to be a little familiar, like a passing comment on a video. Where had he heard it before?

“Like embarrassing me, huh?” Another sentence came out from the tent, from the same owner as the previous one.

Xiao Tianyu was even more surprised. How had this person known that he was going to expose Zhang Zian while he was making magic and used it against him?

“You like that, huh?”

“Yes sir!”

Xiao Tianyu was a hundred percent sure that the last sentence had been spoken by Zhang Zian, but it seemed like there was a special meaning hidden in it…

Sweat started beading on his forehead and the tip of his nose. He felt like the shut door of the tent would lead to a whole new world that he hadn’t been to before.