Oh My God! Earthlings are Insane!

Panda Novel

“You—”

As the most nimble fatty in Dragon City, it was only natural that Gu Jianbo would not trip because of Meng Chao. Like a ball, he jumped into the air at lightning speed, but he still slowed down by half a beat, and he was caught by a Griffin in the air.

Griffins knew how to fly, so Li Yingzi’s aerial combat skill was naturally outstanding.

“Ms. Li, please be gentler.” The fatty hunched his shoulders and bared his teeth. “There’s a student here. Please let me retain some of my dignity.”

“You have the guts to say you want dignity?!” Li Yingzi was about to go mad with anger. “As a lecturer of the martial arts course, you instigated your students to bet on the monster controller course during the competition between courses, which resulted in a huge ruckus. Gu Jianbo, how are you going to explain things to the dean?!”

“I’m just utilizing trash and reducing our losses to the maximum degree. There’s no way the good-for-nothing kids in the martial arts course could win against the monster controller course. It was inevitable that they would lose,” the fatty said with a grin. “Since they’re bound to lose, it’s better if someone earns a whole lot from gambling on that and gets a bunch of monster coins. We snatched a victory out of a loss, which is what you call a blessing in disguise!”

Li Yingzi was shocked by his shamelessness.

“As for the dean, I’ll go and explain things to him, of course. Speaking of which, I have no choice.” The fatty spread his arms. “The refresher course is different from the standard undergraduate course. We have to be responsible for the money we have, and the chances we have to earn monster coins are few and far between.

“If I don’t seize the chance to earn big, how am I supposed to get cultivation resources? And if I don’t have resources, who will be willing to spend money to come to our refresher course? It’s not as if Dragon City University and the University of Technology’s refresher courses are not popular.

“In the beginning, when the old dean gave me the refresher courses, he did not give me any good people to use, and neither did he give me a lot of cultivation machines, much less monster coins. If I didn’t use my head and think of ways to earn money, would I have made our refresher course so popular that the military would even send their superhumans to me?

“As for the fights between students, it’s completely normal. We’re in the martial arts course. If we don’t fight, how can we say that we’re in the martial arts course? If I have to say, our undergraduate students lack fighting experience. They’re all as green as weeds. They’re perfect for the veterans in the refresher course to shape them up. Being bruised in university is better than losing their lives in the wild, right Yingzi?”

“Don’t call me Yingzi,” Li Yingzi hissed.

Then, she trained her sharp gaze on Meng Chao.

Meng Chao looked as if he had just woken up from a dream. He stuttered and said to the fatty, “Y-You’re Mr. Gu Jianbo!”

The fatty sighed and looked as if he surrendered to fate. “If you say I am, then I am.”

“That’s not right!” Meng Chao was in disbelief. “Isn’t Mr. Gu supposed to be thin, aloof, handsome, and have a gloomy air around him? I’ve seen your picture on the official website before!”

“Oh. That should be a picture from ten years ago. The information about me on the official website hasn’t been updated for a long time.”

The fatty— No, Gu Jianbo said in a very irresponsible manner. “Besides, haven’t you heard of the really mysterious technology called photoshop? The picture has been photoshopped. I’ve been really busy over the past few years, and I’m now middle-aged. It’s very normal for me to have gained more than fifty kilograms.”

Meng Chao’s head was absolutely muddled.

The memories from his previous life exploded like popcorn.

He thought about it carefully. He had indeed never seen Gu Jianbo in his previous life.

Gu Jianbo displayed his glory during the later stage of the Monster War.

And in his previous life, during the entire Monster War, Meng Chao was just a citizen who only fought against monsters that weren’t a huge threat.

Then, when Gu Jianbo died, he saw a few videos of the Ultimate Style.

But the videos were filmed from a spot really far away. They were not very clear, and at that time, Gu Jianbo had become much thinner. Besides, his memory fragments were jumbled up and blurry. That was why he had not managed to recognize Gu Jianbo at first glance.

Oh well, it was fine regardless of whether he was thin or fat. From the short half a minute when they fought, Meng Chao was certain that the greasy fatty in front of him was the Blade Dancer who would shock Dragon City in the future.

“Mr. Gu, I want to be your student!” Meng Chao declared as he stared at the fatty’s thigh, which was even thicker than an elephant’s thigh.

“Hang on, kid, do you have some trouble that’s bothering you and you’re taking it too hard?” Gu Jianbo found himself not knowing whether he should laugh or cry. He pointed at his nose. “I’m like this, and you still want to come under my tutelage?”

“Mr. Gu, please explain,” Li Yingzi said with a dark look. “You can talk about betting on the monster controller course on your own to the dean. I can’t control you when it comes to that, but Meng Chao is the top scorer in the martial arts course admission test. What trick did you use to deceive him and make him so loyal?”

“I swear on my conscience that I don’t know him!” Gu Jianbo threw his head back and howled. “Besides, I know myself. I wouldn’t be able to bear harming such a good talent. When he came to me just now, I painted myself as scum, a failure, and a shameless bastard! Meng Chao, tell me, wasn’t that the case?”

Meng Chao nodded. “That’s right. Mr. Gu criticized himself really badly just now. He also used the type of words that would move a person. It left a really deep impression on me.”

Li Yingzi was stunned. “If that’s the case, why do you insist on him and no one else to be your tutor?”

“Because I’ve already met Mr. Gu and have a special bond with him.” Meng Chao sucked in a deep breath and said seriously, “This isn’t an impulsive decision. I’ve thought about this carefully for a long time.

“In truth, when I filled up my aspiration form for Agricultural University’s martial arts course, I did it with the mind that I want to be under Mr. Gu’s tutelage. Otherwise, with my marks, I could have gone to Dragon City University’s martial arts course or the ace course in any other famous university. Ms. Li, please fulfill my wish. I hope that the university will allow me to fulfill my wish.”

“I didn’t— I’m not— Who the heck met you once and has a special bond with you?!” Gu Jianbo rubbed the goosebumps on his arms. His expression was of utter confusion.

Li Yingzi swept her gaze between them multiple times and found the situation really baffling. “Fine. Then go with Mr. Gu and understand his martial arts ideals. It won’t be too late for you to come to a decision by then.

“Mr. Gu, I’ll let you handle this. You won’t want the tragedy that happened with Xu Fang, Zhou Tianrui, and Li Feiyu to happen again, right?”

Gu Jianbo’s expression instantly turned dark, and his presence turned completely different from earlier.

His face became full of wrinkles, and each one was releasing deep gloom and regret.

“Don’t worry, I won’t repeat my mistakes,” he said softly.

Li Yingzi did not reply. She left behind the dejected Gu Jianbo and his confused student.

Meng Chao had a head full of questions, but when he saw Gu Jianbo looking as if his stuffed bun had fallen on the ground and someone crushed it, he could not ask what was going on.

In a short moment, a large group of lecturers and assistant lecturers came over, and the fight in the canteen came to an end.

The students were covered in bruises and looked really disheveled. The undergraduate students and students working in society were separated into two groups, and in familiar motions, they lined up.

“Sirs, we didn’t fight. We just understood a brand new martial art and had a sparring session between students!”

“That’s right, the students from the refresher course are all our seniors in society. They have a lot of fighting experience, and we wanted to use our new techniques to learn something from them. We learned from their strengths to get rid of our weaknesses and improved together!”

“Perhaps we had been too focused while fighting just now, and we didn’t pay attention to the time, environment, and methods we used, which is why we created unnecessary damage. It’s fine. We will pay for it and restore it to how it previously looked like!”

“We’re really happy about the sparring session today. Thank you for the guidance, let’s continue in the future!”

The leaders from both sides stood forward and started talking one after another.

They even shook hands in all apparent seriousness and bowed to each other before thanking each other. Their faces were full of sincere smiles. The anger from a moment ago was completely absent.

It was just as Gu Jianbo said. They were in the martial arts course, so sparring sessions among students were normal and even good for the body.

If the reason for the fight was not because the refresher course students had betted on the monster controller course students even though they were martial arts course students as well, this would not have been a matter worthy of any concern.

The lecturers knew what had happened. They just checked to make sure that no one had used any weapons and no one was heavily injured. Then, based on procedures, they yelled at them before the personal tutors brought them back to punish them.

“You’re the one who beat up Ma Hong twice, right?”

“I heard that you’re a freshman called Meng Chao. I’ll remember you now!”

“Let’s eat together when we’re free!”

The undergraduate students were seized by their tutors and walked past Meng Chao. When they did, they patted his shoulder with friendliness.

The students who were already members of society stared at Meng Chao with profound gazes. Their smiles were very sincere, friendly, and harmonious, to the point that Meng Chao shuddered even though it was not cold, and he broke into cold sweat.

“Let’s go! I’m going to teach you a lesson when we go back!” Gu Jianbo glared at them. “If you want to spar, go and spar in the cultivation rooms. What’s the deal with causing such a ruckus in the canteen? You’re already past your twenties, and a lot of you are from the Red Dragon Army. How could you be so disorganized and undisciplined?

“When you go back, take a two hundred kilogram load and run a fifty-kilometer obstacle course. I have to punish you for this small offense to warn others from following your bad example, understand?!”

“Understood!” The students working in society stood at attention at the same time and responded loudly.

But while they were on their way back to the refresher course, they started grinning just like Gu Jianbo.

“Big Brother Bo, are we really running a fifty kilometer obstacle course with a two hundred kilogram load?”

“Well… did you win just now?”

“Of course we won! Do you even have to ask that? Those undergraduate students might have cleared dozens of main meridians and say that they can create dozens of spirit energy magnetic fields, so they act all smug and stuff, but they don’t have real fighting experience. It’s pointless even if they have a lot of skills. At the end, they ended up scurrying away like rats because of us.”

“Alright, since you won, go and run!”

“Huh?! Why do we have to run even after we won? Didn’t you say—”

“Duh, who’s the one who sold me out? You usually call me Big Brother Bo like we’re best friends and stuff, but when it comes to the critical moment, you don’t adhere to the bro code at all. Tell me, who’s the one who told Ms. Li that I told you to gamble?”

“That happened? We don’t know about that! None of us know! Besides, you didn’t adhere to the bro code either! We were fighting so fiercely just now, and you went to jump out of the window!”

“I’m a martial arts course lecturer, you know? If I don’t run, what am I supposed to do? Fight with you against the martial arts course students? If Ms. Li learns about it, I can stop thinking about mending my relationship with her!”

Meng Chao followed behind them quietly. As he listened to their chatter, he felt that Gu Jianbo and the students from society did not share the typical student-teacher relationship. Instead, they were like a very lively group who lived at the edge of law.

“That’s how the refresher course is. It doesn’t have a lot of rules. I mean, many of the students from society are already in their thirties or forties, and some of them have killed more monsters than I did, so how can I put on airs as their lecturer?”

Gu Jianbo turned his head around to explain things to Meng Chao. “I don’t like people calling me Mr. Gu either. Annoys me when I hear it. They call me Big Brother Bo. Call me that too. Once you get to know me, you’ll understand that I really don’t have the right to be known as a lecturer.”