My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

Unknown phenomenon, the news called it.

The coming end of days was what the doomsday peeps decided to make of it, rampaging 'round the streets, screaming in the ears of those that'll hear them out.

Then you got those special few, those tinfoil folks whispering in the sidelines of a top-secret classified, delisted, off the record loominati experiment of epic proportions.

It didn't matter what channel on TV I flicked to or what random website I visited online. It'd always be one of those three things popping up, going on and on like a broken record without an end in sight. It seemed that overnight, our little weather incident here in the town has become a global sensation that'd surely be the talk of the day for many weeks to come.

Compared to that, the Matriarch abductions - that whole big fiasco that got the community in an uproar barely a month ago was like a small blurb in a newspaper article left as an afterthought in the corner end of the page doomed to be forgotten about for all eternity.

I suppose it makes sense. The aftermath following the Blightfall's wake was not an easy image for many to swallow. Including me, and I was there at the front and center of it all.

Social media was a conglomerate of reaction videos and clips, somebody even got a drone shot of the city skylines after the storm had subsided. I think I stared at that clip longer than I did anything else.

There was just something haunting about seeing those towering skyscrapers become grisly spires coated in a deep, dark red. The long stretches of road turning into narrow rivers of blood as seen from above - worst of it, with the knowledge I now hold - seeing those countless dots moving, swarming around the streets amidst the Blight...

That's a lot of people out there.

"How do you... get rid of the Blight?" My eyes peeked over my phone towards the sound of sizzling in the kitchen. "Don't suppose… it's as easy as waiting for the sun… to evaporate the damn thing."

Spatula in one hand, a pair of eggs in the other, Ria began taming the fizzle and crackle of hot oil on the frying pain.

I remembered the first couple of days of settling in the house, she warned me once that she didn't like being disturbed while playing Chef in the kitchen. It was like one of the rare few rules she had about herself apart from no veggies on her plate.

Well, rules are meant to be broken after all.

I called out to her again from the couch, letting the truly abysmal way my voice sounded break her focus.

Not once, not twice, maybe a bit more than three times too.

"Ria, Ria, Ria, Ria, Ria…. Reeeee-a. Ri-of-A, talk to me."

Surprise, surprise, not really surprise, it worked like a charm.

That aggravated groaning from the kitchen doorway sounded about ready to scorch me where I sat.

"You just woke up!" She exclaimed over the sound of fried eggs. "You nearly died yesterday - again! How is it that you wanna play the hero role once more so badly? It's a dangerous lifestyle!"

The audible commotion from the living to the kitchen had Ash shifting about around my legs. Now she was on my thighs instead of my calves. Alright. We get any louder, if she shifts anymore upwards… ooo, danger zone.

I lowered my voice significantly. "Most of the city... is covered in blight - people… are covered in blight. Whatever happened... to rot and decay? It's going... to destroy the whole city, ain't it?"

"Yeah, in weeks." Ria retorted, the clangor of metal pans not doing much to aid me in my little conundrum. "Blighting is a slow process, you won't see people covered in Blight suddenly turn to dust in a snap of a finger, kay? It's only after the third week you'll see 'em crumble into nothing."

Ash kept ascending closer and closer to my no-no zone, oh boy. What happened to being a light sleeper, Ash?

Slowly I reeled my body back a bit, speaking as I did, "What's… the timeframe?"

I heard the stove clicking off finally, bringing an end to the rowdy sizzling and fizzing, and gracious were the sound of footsteps emerging out of the kitchen doorway.

So why was Ash still crawling up? Why couldn't she just be content with a lap pillow? Does my lap suck that bad?

Panic, panic.

"Lucky us, the Blight's red and not black. Thanks to that, you got three and a half weeks to do something about it 'stead of the usual one and a half we get back in Kronocia."

Was too busy drawing some more distance between Ash and me to even bother with a response. So busy in fact, that I've failed to notice that I've attained an audience in the form of Ria's blank stare, standing by the couch, two plates in either hand, and with eyebrows soaring up under the bangs of her smoldering hair.

"Also I think your servant there is subconsciously trying to get in your pants," Ria formed a smirk. "Could be that she's hungry. Wanna feed her?"

I blinked my eyes at her. "You're... dirty."

"Takes one to know one, doesn't it?" She handed me a plate. "Look at this too, breakfast in bed from a pretty girl, while also being tended to by another pretty girl - Master, oh, Master, you're living the life, aren't you?"

"Yeah, simply the best… wouldn't want it any other way." Sarcasm plus my croaky voice made for an odd mixture of sound. Anyway…

"If you're done with the innuendos… and the teasing… you mind telling me now how one would go about getting rid… of the Blight?"

Some toast, eggs… I forgot to buy some bacon. Set's incomplete. Ah well, Ria did the best with what she had and she was a far better cook than I'll ever be anyway.

Anything crafted by those refined hands of hers, them fingers over there wriggling with versatility had and would constantly surpass any and all expectations - so even something as simple and quick as fried eggs with toast I'm sure would leave my taste buds more than just satisfied.

So I munched once on some buttered toast, watched her snug herself nicely on the one-seater directly across from me, and listened attentively to what she had to say.

"Well, for one thing, scrubbing at it with some mops won't do much good," She took a bite, her words garbling up with her chews. "You need a Speaker for one. Guess that's where you come in."

"That it?"

"If only it was that simple. Second on the list - you're gonna need a Listener to go along with the Speaker. Put them in a pair, give them a few days in the epicenter of the Blightfall, and usually, that'll do the trick. No rots, no decays, happy times."

Eggs were nice and delectable. Wish I could have taken the time to savor the meal, but I was far too busy trying to comprehend every new thing that spouted out of her bulging cheeks.

"So I'm a Speaker, whatever that is…" I slowly said, "Now we just need... to get a Listener. Do that, and problem solved, yeah?"

"Yep."

"Great," I said. "So where do we... find a Listener?"

"Oh, that's easy. Lemme just go back to Kronocia real quick, grab a couple walking around somewhere, I'm sure some of them manage to survive the literal apocalypse."

Sarcasm. Ha-ha funny… still, there might actually be a ring of truth to it.

"Why not?" I frowned. "You did. Adalia did, Amelia, Irene… what good reason is there… to say there couldn't be any Listeners... walking among us right now?"

But that was just me, always looking up at the bright side of every situation. Sadly Ria, for as bright and bedazzling as she always was, saw only the darkness on the other side of it.

"They're extinct, my gravelly-voiced liege." She muttered, munching on her last bit of toast. "That good enough a reason for you?"

For fuck's…

"You're shitting me…"

"Yeah, maybe a little bit."

OH, FOR FUCK -

"You were?!"

"I said only a little bit," she affirmed, raising a finger to the air. "Listeners aren't a race - it's an occupation, something you learn to do overtime. Theoretically, anybody could be one - heck, I could be one, provided I got the know-how to do so, but not everyone can be a Listener. Case in point - Me again."

For the sake of not getting je-baited again as I so often do when it comes to the fiery phoenix of mischief, I decided to keep mum of any question or remark that dared scale to the tip of my tongue and just simply let her finish what she had to say.

Because if we were to do this her way, if I kept playing along to her tune, the whole town would have rotted away by the time I got all my questions answered.

So no, that little pause in-between your explanations trying to get me to speak out in order to give me a WWE smackdown in word-form won't work on me no more.

I'm keeping shut.

It was a good strat too, and clearly, she knew I got her beat. The way her lips shaped to a pout at my unresponsiveness... pure and utter disappointment.

Sorry Ria, but I want a discussion - not a back and forth. So please, discuss away if you would.