I think I might have been drifting.
What I thought was a simple occasional blink of heavy eyelids, shaved away more than just a single second when I'd next open my eyes.
The LCD display ticking away towards 6:59 in the evening was what brought me to this realization.
Because the last time I checked, it was 6:55.
So I was blacking out. But I wasn't falling asleep. The aches and swells that came and went were like the blaring alarm clocks on a very nice sleep. Except much more painful.
A second blink, three more minutes gone - in a literal blink of an eye.
Third blink. Fourth blink. My blank periods were getting stretched longer and longer.
In the fifth, I awoke to a sky tinted warmly in a glow of orange, and a breeze of cold wind ruffling my hair so calm and serene.
The light sways, up and down like the gentle rock of a crib. The weightless sensation spreading throughout me… Ash's solemn expression from above, staring far into a distance that was well beyond my sight. The feel of her hands, the way her arms felt so reassuring wrapped around my body - it'd pass well off as a dream if it didn't feel so real.
And besides... you couldn't dream of a pain like this.
I'd know.
"Mistress Ria!"
Ash's voice. Loud and resonating within it a heavy urgency. At the same time, she picked up the pace.
Returning her shout, I heard the crunch and crackle of grass growing near, reaching its peak within mere seconds. Then there was a warmness, the bright lights of swaying embers, streaming locks of scorching red, and a gaze burning brighter than any flame stared down at me.
I couldn't recall the last time I saw Ria's face looked so stricken, didn't even know those eyes were capable of looking so afraid. Her cheery voice, a quiet whisper.
"Inside."
Hello to you too, Ria…
"It was Blightfall," Ash explained, continuing to walk again.
"Yeah, I know, I know," Ria muttered hurriedly. "Wouldn't be waiting out on the porch here for you if I didn't."
"A Speaker, Mistress Ria. The Blightfall had… I did what I could with what I had. But we were caught off guard - he was caught off guard."
"We all were." The turn of a doorknob and the creaking swing of the front door opened wide. Passing the doorway, I met with Ria's eyes once more. "So a Speaker too, huh? Why, the son of good and evil not special enough a title for you?"
It was nice to see you too, Ria…
Dimness consumed sight. The inside was a stark contrast to the brightness of the outside. It was to the point where I couldn't tell where or what anything was.
All I could do was hear.
Hear the rhythmic tapping of Ash's steps, the light gaps of my own feeble breathing, and Ria again - evidently flustered.
"Shoo, Adalia. Make some space, he's here."
Apart from hearing, feeling was my next best alternative to fumbling around the unknown darkness. Soft and smooth was the feeling that cushioned and cuddled my entire being.
I'll never take for granted again just how comfy and snug the living-room couch really was.
"A… Speaker…?" A faint hint of surprise from a low misty voice, as misty as the eyes that glowed from afar in the darkness. "How many… voices?"
"I fear too many," Ash spoke out, her breathing close enough to feel its warmth. "The screams, they've… he had no control over them."
Lying there, I couldn't help but realize that this here was the first time I ever heard Ash actually speak to Adalia one on one. After the things that happened between these two, I knew it was going to be a tough hurdle for them to have converse with one another.
I just wished it was with better circumstances that made them jump that hurdle.
"Had his tears… blackened?" Adalia asked.
"No, thank the Gods, no. We've gone far enough in haste to have thankfully avoided that outcome."
"Good," The front door echoed with a slam, and the footsteps that drew nearer from it was like a lit candle in the darkness clad in red. "Being a familiar to a broken soul isn't exactly how I plan to live my life.
A very sarcastic candle, apparently.
"We've to minimize his exposure to any drop of Blight in the vicinity if he is to recover," A flutter of wind whizzing past me. Ash was standing. "The car has to be disposed of. Mistress Ria, can I trust that you'll tend to Master's needs while I'm gone?"
"Can he speak?"
"No."
"Is he still in pain?"
As if to try and answer that question, I felt a hoarse groan involuntarily leave my lips, sounding very much more dead than alive.
"Take that as a yes, then," muttered Ria, walking over to take Ash's place beside me. "Go dispose away. Adalia and I will be here serving him on hand and foot. No worries."
There was a brief moment of shuffling, some pattering, a few silent seconds. The swing and click of a door were all I had to go off of to know that Ash had already made her departure.
Now it was just the three of us. The swirls of flames to the left, and the unblinking grey eyes to the right.
"Nothing just ever seems to go your way, does it?" Ria said, her smoldering cinders wafting from left to right. "Everything you do is either pain… pain, or even more pain."
Wish it was a smile that she said it with, just seeing her face without one was more unsettling than anything else.
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel sorry for you."
Strained, pained… the way her glowing locks illuminated her expression. I almost wish it'd stayed dark so I didn't have to see it.
"And I'm no liar."
I felt the stinging. The same stinging whenever my voice would leak out.
"Make it… stop…"
The pain. I just didn't want to feel pain. I think she understood that.
But it kept stinging, aching… and I think it might stay that way for a long time to come.
"A kiss from me won't help you bear with it any better," said Ria softly. "It's not pain you're feeling. Well… it's not your pain you're feeling, to be exact. Speakers, you see. They speak for the dead. Your voice becomes their own, and likewise, their pain becomes yours even if it isn't really."
Explanations weren't what I wanted. Later - questions… answers… I didn't really care for them at the moment.
Ria hung her head. "But… I suppose that's not what you want to hear right now, right? Blightfall. Speakers, Listeners, the hows and the whys… not with how you're feeling now."
I think she realized just how grim she was making herself out to be for all of a sudden, she was raising her head, heaving a breath, and forming a smile.
"You know, it's a miracle you're still even alive and breathing with what's happened to you," There was a pressure on my palm, a soft sensation. "You did good, but for now, you need to bear with it for just a little longer, alright? Just a little more."
I did not like that smile.
"But…" The stinging pain surfaced again. "It hurts…"
"I know," she sighed, her hand clutching mine. "I know…"
And said no more.
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