My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

Augh—that stupid, brainless, witless handsome little heartthrob! 

Amanda stared at her phone's home screen, still at a loss for both words and thoughts. 

A photo of a funny-looking jester peeked back at her behind various widgets and apps, wearing and possibly mistaking a misshapen tambourine for a hat, while also carrying a visibly agitated pair of chickens around each arm… God, he looked so stupid back then. 

A stupidity so mathematically refined, so chemically balanced, that it never fails to always put the stupidest smile on her face no matter the when and where. 

The most perfect kind of stupid there was. 

But there were the occasional exceptions, the type of smile differing based on the circumstances. Right then she was just the tiniest bit peeved, and so her lips fit to match that emotion… nothing grave, nothing serious… just simply another way her affection decided to express itself. 

Because suddenly he's a genius—the Sherlock Holmes of romance—sniffing her out so quick like that, and how did he even do it anyway? She left no clues, didn't leave any kind of paper trail for him to follow up on. The only way he could have possibly suspected her was as he claimed: a feeling, a hunch. 

Yeah, right…

The only other time a certain white-haired beauty was involved in one of her plans, and all of a sudden, the man's omniscient? 

On the other hand, maybe she was just getting too predictable… too many ploys in too little time… and as a result, she was the mastermind culprit for all the wrong in the world. 

Perhaps it was best to cut back for a time from playing his scheming Moriarty… start being more of an Adler… so to speak. 

That metaphor might not be exactly accurate to canon, but hey, artistic liberties and all that. And if today winds up the resounding success Amanda hoped it to be, she might finally get more opportunities to do just that.

Amanda headed back to the living room. In the air, swirled the smell of freshly brewed and served coffee, as well as being over here, there, and everywhere splattered across the flooring. Somewhere between both, a pale figure lay slumped on the couch on the brink of nodding off from this world and entering a new one entirely. 

Lesson learned. Never serve any kind of beverage to a drowsy vampire.

"Lady Amanda," a bright pair of green eyes popped up from the far end of a couch, and Ash emerged, rising to her feet, chips and bits of broken glass tinkling in one hand, and a damp cloth in the other. "I believe I've gathered most of the more hazardous pieces. After mopping, I wish to—"

"You're here as my guest, not my Knight, Ash," Amanda said, stepping over the dark puddle and taking the cloth from her grasp. "Already got someone else for that kind of beck-and-call service, don't you? I'll take care of this." 

"Well, if you should insist, but…" 

"Actually, I do insist," she interrupted again, smiling at her, as she sunk down to a crouch. "Rather you don't make me beg either. So, please, got both our sakes on the line, sit."

There was a little something about Ash's sincerity that felt… oddly malicious. Inaptly pure, if that was a thing. The way she reluctantly returned to her seat, looking quite unsure and mildly guilt-ridden that she couldn't be of any more help. 

Was there even a word for that? 

Having someone so overwhelmingly considerate and earnest, you wind up feeling like the bad guy denying that benevolence. Seriously, human nature was not designed to accommodate such unconditional goodwill. 

Like some kind of fairytale princess come to life. It was almost disheartening how little of an exaggeration that actually was. Ash just lived, just existed… just sat there in place… in a constant state of perpetual grace. 

Then switching from one tale to the other, from one couch to another…

"Adalia, I have a bed if you need it," Amanda said, waking up the silent sleeping beauty with a jolt. "Don't push yourself at my expense, please." 

Through silvery, silky bangs, slowly fluttered open a pair of misty eyes. Adalia yawned, sharp fangs ever so slightly emerging into view. 

"I will… stay…" she murmured. "You said… to us… that this was… important…" 

The coffee table suddenly erupted to life, humming and vibrating with a hint of urgency. Ash leaned forward, lifting her phone away and putting an end to the tremors… a moment later, her emerald eyes were aglow with the glint of distress. 

"Master has left a message," she said, sounding awfully grave. "He inquires about my well-being, as well as Adalia's. Um, should I perhaps…?" 

"Don't tell him anything, not just yet," Amanda commanded, throwing the wet cloth into the basin and rinsing her hands thoroughly. "You reply, he'll pounce on the opportunity, start asking more questions, and then this will all be for nothing." 

"I…"

"Remember, this is all for everyone's benefit," Amanda said, walking back with a broom in hand. "That includes your Master too." 

Ash paused to ponder, and the next second slowly set her phone aside, as it hummed once more, her ears drooping just so slightly. 

"Very well. I understand." 

"I'll be sure to take all the blame, alright?" Amanda assured her as she swept. "You can tell him later I took your things hostage. Threatened to—I dunno—delete all the secret photos you took of him or something if you don't comply." 

"How…" Ash's eyes suddenly grew wide with horror. "How do you know about that?" 

"Know about what? Oh… oh damn…" Amanda tried to hide her smirk, failing spectacularly, and sending the poor Elf simmering with embarrassment. "Okay, okay, relax… secret's safe with me. No shame in it either, I promise. We're all of the same mind here. I mean, you'd have done the same too, right, Adalia?"

"Pic…tures…" Adalia's eyes began rousing with the faintest glimmer of life. "Can I… see…?" 

But before any one of them could peruse through Ash's gallery, there was a loud and firm sound of knuckles rapping hard against the front door. Amanda instantly hustled forward, tossing the broom aside and pulling the handle wide open. 

"Well, well," Amanda proclaimed, greeting the guest on the other side of the doorway with a delightful leer. "Was starting to think you decided to miss this, after all." 

Irene flared her nostrils, like a dragon amassing fuel for her flames. And with a scowl evoking much of her displeasure, Amanda decided against poking the bear any further.

"Important meeting, you said," Irene said, marching in with the slow clack of heels, arms crossed, and glancing back at Amanda with a gaze even more so. "It is important, isn't it?" 

"It's as vital as it gets," Amanda said, closing the door after her. "Really think I'd dare drag you all the way here for anything else?" 

"I certainly believe you would for them," she replied, nudging her head at the others present in the room. "I don't see why I would deserve any kind of preferential treatment." 

"Well, I wouldn't use the word important if it wasn't."

"And I think the word 'important' can be very easily misconstrued. What's important to you may not be so important to me. I'm just hoping you've taken that into account when you called me earlier this morning." 

"Take a seat, detective," Amanda offered politely, gesturing forward. "Then we'll both find out soon whether I did or not." 

As Irene warily and skeptically walked deeper into the room, Amanda just had to take a moment just to process the scene still unfolding before her very eyes. 

A Vampire nestled on her favorite recliner, an Elf occupying as little space as possible on the couch, and now a Succubus imposing herself in an empty spot furthest from both. 

Absolute perfection in three vastly different forms. 

They say envy is the thief of happiness, and if that was so, then she pretty much had just invited three master burglars under her roof. 

Truth be told, she never actually viewed them as rivals of any sort. There was never any endless back-and-forth feud all for the chance at first place. In the grand scheme of things, they were all just simply women in love. Nothing more. 

So when jealousy occasionally struck, when that heavy pull of inferiority started weighing down on her, it was never because she was resentful, bitter at their seemingly endless list of positive qualities… but rather just slightly put-off but how meager and bare hers seemed in comparison. 

But that didn't matter now. She didn't assemble them all here just to mope and lament about greener grasses. This was important. Something she had longed to address ever since she found herself a place amongst them. 

And with the dawn of a new year, today and now was as perfect a time as any. 

"Alright!" Amanda proclaimed, planting herself front and center of everyone's gaze. "Now that everyone is accounted for, I suppose it's about time we get right to it, shall we?"