My Pick Up Artist System

Sweat began forming on Ben's head as he gazed at the waitress, waiting for her response. 'Did I push too hard?' He couldn't afford to fail, but every passing second made him more certain of that being the inevitable outcome.

'Say something!' Unbearable pressure squeezed on his hearts...

He knew this was it; the moment that would determine everything.

Live or die. Jizz or cry…

Then, he noticed a trace of something creeping up on the beauty's cheeks…a tinge…of red…

Her eyes also narrowed a bit, and the edges of her lips stretched… This, was an expression…of l.u.s.t! "Oh, I'd have to see it to believe it."

After he processed the response, Ben's eyes gleamed, and he squeezed his fists in a tiny celebration!

She was interested! His line passed!

Returning her own charming smirk, the waitress made her own offer to Ben. "I'm working most of the week, but maybe on my day off, you could show me what you mean..."

He nodded in a hurry. "Sounds good. What's your name?"

"Bridgette." She smiled.

However, Ben wasn't worried about her name but the clock winding down. After all, even if she was attracted to him, by the time she got off work tonight, his challenge's timer would expire. That meant if he failed to seduce a woman here, he'd be so broke he couldn't give any waitress a tip...

That's why, from the beginning, he didn't open her to get her number. Instead, he approached her for what she could do for him next! "I'm Ben. Bridgette, could you do me a small favor real quick?"

"Sure." Waitresses were always more open if they believed they'd get a nice tip…

"I have to use the bathroom but there's a huge line back there. I noticed the staff bathroom there. Could you let me use it for a minute? Just a numero uno..." Ben pointed to a door with a staff-only bathroom sign, in the same area where he lost the fart bomb!

She thought about it for a few seconds. For Ben though, with his meat-lasso on the line...each one that passed was like an erectile eternity…

'Please don't say no… Please don't say no…' Everything was at stake for him. He was terrified at the thought of losing three months of s.e.x and possibly his life, but mostly the s.e.x…

That was 90 days of prime Romero seed...and he could only pray she wasn't a ruthless Chinese xianxia MC. 'They're innocent. Please spare my descendants…'

After making him beg to spare his clan in his head…Bridgette nodded, proving she preferred Ben as a c.o.c.kroach villain... "Ok, but only for a minute or I'll get in big trouble."

His eyes lit up. "You're my savior! Let's go! I can't hold it much longer!" He glanced at the clock.

[Remaining time until activation of Fart Bomb Pheromones: 00:00:39]

Ben's face turned pale. 'There's not enough time!'

With so few seconds remaining, he held zero confidence in making it! Even so, he gritted his teeth, and found the determination to struggle until his last dying bload...

As for what drove him? One simple thing; Ben owed too much to someone, that person so close to his hearts—his little brother...who he cared for more than anything. Ben remembered how since they were little, his little bro was unable to go outside, because of his d*ckly disposition...

Growing up alone inside a pair of pants...

Unable to play with others...

Lethargic, pale, and quiet…

It was a sad child-wood...

That's why Ben wouldn't let him suffer in silence anymore. Sure, it was a bit cliche for a character's background story, of their p.e.n.i.s...

Even so, Ben believed the tale was good enough to garner serious acclaim at the Academy Awards...as long as he cast minorities to play his balls...

...

Meanwhile, the waitress was in a good mood from their interaction. Giggling, she escorted him towards the staff area, passing by the massive security guard. When he glared at Ben, Bridgette spoke up. "Derrick, it's all right. He's with me, just to use the bathroom a sec."

Then, she escorted Ben into the dark staff hallway towards the restroom. The entire time, his eyes were like a cat's, scanning every nook of the corridor searching for the fart bomb. However, there wasn't enough light, the area was large, and the item was small. When they reached the bathroom, he still hadn't seen it! 'Where the hell did it fall?!?'

Benjamin's breathing became rougher. If he failed to find the fart bomb, all this was meaningless! He'd be impotent for 3 months!

"This is it," Bridgette said and pointed to the door. Yet, when Ben remained motionless outside it, looking around everywhere, she squinted at him, as did the bouncer.

Gulping, Ben was still scanning for the item but couldn't find a trace. What he did see though was the bouncer's expression becoming aggressive, wondering why he didn't enter the restroom yet. So, to not be thrown out, he placed his hand on the doorknob. Then, Ben opened the door with odd slow movements, while continuing to search the ground.

It didn't buy him much time though. His behavior led to the bouncer's face becoming more suspicious and agitated, making Ben sweat even more. 'Why isn't he turning around?!? Even Metal Gear wasn't this bad!'

However, it wasn't only the big guy. Even Bridgette was getting irritated. She needed to work, after all. Ben asked her to use the bathroom so what the hell was he doing standing there?

Things soon got even worse though, as the scowling bouncer started walking towards Ben. "Yo, you're acting weird as sh*t. Get in there or get the f*ck out of here."

Ben could only curse his bad luck. With no other choice, he stepped inside the bathroom, closing the door behind him at a snail's pace, as his eyes made a final search in desperation. Scanning the floor! The walls! Everywhere!

After all, it was his last chance! If this door closed it would be over! He'd be unable to get back out!

Then…at the last second—a breakthrough! He saw it! The fart bomb was in a crevice between the floor and wall. Yet, when he spotted it, he was already in the restroom, about to shut the door. 'Maybe I can just hop out?'

Unfortunately…

*Slam*

In her impatience, the waitress shut the door herself! "Hurry up! I can't leave you alone back here near the offices. You've only got a minute then I've gotta go back to work."

Except, Ben didn't even have a minute!

[Remaining time until activation of Fart Bomb Pheromones: 00:00:23]

There wasn't enough time to do anything! Even worse, time wasn't his biggest problem anymore! He was now in the bathroom, and couldn't come out without it seeming bizarre, and the big guy wasn't the only adversary!

Bridgette was watching the door too! Ben didn't doubt that if he came out right after entering, one of them would make him leave! They were both already suspicious of him!

Even going out and pretending to drop something wouldn't work! The fart bomb was too far!

Although the waitress was attracted to him, that meant little in a nightclub. It was enough to get him here but she'd already become annoyed! If he did another weird thing, he was certain she'd switch into professional mode, and toss him!

Time was running out! He needed to reach that item but had no way! He was trapped now! The situation was impossible!

With bulging eyes, Ben despaired! 'I'm f*cked!'

Yet, as he thought over everything at a frenzied pace, he sensed something else.

*Sniff*

Ben turned around, and soon, his face grimaced in horror! Things were already bad enough, so bad he didn't believe they could get worse, but now—he learned he was wrong! Because someone left a fresh floater!

…

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Now, even the toilet became a third enemy!

He was trapped and sieged inside a small compartment, with no oxygen in the room, and few seconds remaining of d*ck life!

His eyes were desperate! 'What am I? Redneck David Blaine?!?'

*Author's Note: Everyone, we've solidified our spot as number 3 in the rankings! It's all thanks to your votes, encouragement, and other support! So thank you! This is only the beginning of the story so we can still go much further. As for where? Where else? Number one! Keep voting every day and let's take MPUAS to the moon!