My Pick Up Artist System

The next day, Ben was cleaning his room when he heard a knock on his door. Answering it, he saw the rest of the fracking crew: Antonio, and a purple overcoat--also known as Beluga...

After inviting them in, Ben soon had Antonio's arm around his neck. "Yo cuz, I heard you got a job at a fancy spot?"

Ben shrugged. " It's just an internship. Hearth Communications."

Antonio nodded. "Wow, big-time stuff--Earth C.u.m-unification…"

Ben stared at him. "No, it's Hearth Commu— Sigh...Nevermind, yours is better…"

Meanwhile, Beluga looked around the room. "Not bad. Not big but...decent space for a Manhattan dorm."

"Yea, there's more than enough room." Antonio smirked with confidence. "Where's the closet?"

Ben was unsure why he asked, but pointed him to a tiny closet by the corridor. Opening it, Antonio grinned. "Aight, this'll do. I got dibs on this closet."

…

Ben squinted at him. "Are you planning to hide in there and scare people, like you're some kind of monster or semonic entity..."

Antonio frowned. "I don't do that anymore!"

...

Ben didn't understand. "Then why would you need dibs? The closet 'will do' for what?"

"The question is cuz…do for who?" Antonio laughed. "I just need to find one of these smart university chicks, tell her I'll teach her some street smarts, then bring her in here and show her my Fibonacci c.u.mshot."

…

Ben shook his head in disbelief as he stared at his cousin.

Antonio snorted. "You just watch. I only need to get a chick in there for the amount of time it takes to drink a cup of tea...."

Ben scrunched his forehead at the xianxia reference. "So anywhere from a few seconds to a lifetime?"

...

"Yup!" Antonio smiled.

Ben scratched his head at the inconsistency of the timetable...

Still, he held bigger concerns about closet c.u.mshots... "First of all, avoid my clothes… Second, I doubt there's enough room."

Beluga and Antonio both looked at him with serious expressions. "There's enough."

…

Beluga walked towards the bed and stood over it with his arms crossed. "Benjamin, have you set up your corner condoms?"

Ben blinked. "My what?"

"Corner condoms…condoms in every corner of a mattress and sofa cushion..." When Beluga saw Ben still didn't get it, he sighed. "You've never seen one of those movies where criminals hide weapons everywhere? These are our weapons!"

...

He explained further. "It's so that while with a woman in any location, you can always reach down during escalation, and put one on at the drop of a p.e.n.i.s-hat."

...

Ben's eyes brightened. 'It's genius… Unfortunately, I don't need them anymore.' His gun included a permanent silencer...

Seeing Ben didn't confirm, Beluga understood the situation, and decided to handle it himself. "Seems like you haven't set them up, but no worries. We c.u.m prepared..."

He reached into the pocket of his coat, and soon pulled his arm out holding condoms...

However, it was one of those situations where someone took out way too many--an entire strip of them...

That still wasn't funny...except when Beluga pulled the condoms out, one end of the extremely long strip fell on the floor…

Which would've perhaps been worth a chuckle...but then he kept yanking more out! Like a clown pulling an infinite handkerchief!

…

Ben's jaw dropped. 'There's no way they sell so many in such a long connected strip anywhere. Did he glue them together?!?'

…

He did...

I repeat, he did...

After some time, the sound of condoms hitting the wooden floor stopped. The result was an entire hill of them, like a rugby pile-up at an all-boys school with hidden gay undertones...

At this point, Ben asked the question plaguing his mind. "Why so many condoms?"

"Do you have a problem with safe s.e.x, Benjamin?"

…

Ben froze. 'I might actually.'

…

Despite his own problems, he still felt an uncharacteristic shame, happy Fariq wasn't here to see this, having gone to the library to study for the night. Otherwise, it might break his little heart...

After the three of them chatted some more, Ben brought up the main issue concerning him about this party, and it wasn't a small one. He didn't have anyone to invite!

The only people on campus he knew were Fariq, beauties he was having s.e.x with, and guys he faceslapped into early graves...

Ben lacked the necromancy skills to summon the skeletons of the faceslapped and forgotten to perform a Thriller dance...

He also wasn't dumb enough to invite any of his girls to a party with pick up artists. So he was in a dilemma. However, Beluga assured him it was fine. "Don't worry about it. I've already taken care of it. People are on the way."

Ben's eyebrows raised when he heard this. 'Is this the legendary plot where the cool friend organizes a party and dozens of beauties show up?' Ben looked forward to it.

Soon, the first guest arrived. Security allowed them up because earlier, Ben spoke with the guard downstairs and told him he was holding a prayer meet for Baby Jesus.

…

Ben thought there was some truth to it. 'A woman tonight might get blessed with immaculate conception.'

…

He was planning to father a bastard.

…

Beluga answered the door, and soon entered with someone, a boy who looked even younger than Ben…

Ben gave Beluga an icy stare. "Why's there a kid here? Are you trafficking children to break into Hollywood?!?"

…

Beluga snorted. "Relax. This is Chuck. He's a freshman at NYU like you, and a friend from the PUA community. Trust me, you two will get along."

"Hello…" The boy stepped forward and greeted everyone.

Ben observed Chuck. He wore a baggy but trendy dark blue hoodie and jeans, a typical look for a college student. His light brown hair was slicked back revealing big bright eyes, giving him the appearance of an adorable shota. The most surprising thing about him though, was how short he was!

Ben was already short at 5 foot 6, since the average male in the USA stood at 5'9. There was even a famous line that many women didn't date men below 6 feet, making it difficult for guys like Ben. Yet, Chuck was only 5'3!

The average woman within the USA was 5'4 and most of them preferred dating guys who were at least their height. So despite Ben's shortness, because he was a bit taller than that, there were still a good amount of women who didn't rule out dating him based on height alone, although when compared with other men, he would fall short.

…

However, Chuck's situation was much worse! Most girls were taller than him! Seeing this, Ben couldn't help but soften his heart to the little lad. 'I know them fails bro…'

When Chuck first saw Ben, he also looked surprised, as if he didn't expect to meet another member of the shorty club…

It was a small world...

As a result of having a "little" in common...Ben warmed up to him and became much more hospitable. He felt an unusual affinity for Chuck, so tried to make him feel at home. "Which school are you in?"

Chuck blinked. "Oh...I...haven't decided."

Ben nodded. That was common for freshmen. There was even an entire school for undecided people like his media school. As he made friendly conversation, Chuck relaxed as well, confiding that he lived off-campus with his family, and was nervous because he hadn't been to this dorm before.

*Knock* *Knock*

Soon, the next guests were arriving and Ben breathed a sigh of relief. 'I hope it's the girls.' He liked Chuck, but that didn't change the fact that too many c*cks in the kitchen spoiled the broth...