My life as a reborn monster
Chapter 66 - The Threat Of Insanity
They all looked at me with a smile while some of them had tears rolling down their faces.
"Vexsus..... Your back, I didn't want to leave you again but when you got angry it was like we were under a mountain of pressure. Some even passed out, I rescued as many of your kids as I could but I'll be honest man..... There weren't many still alive." Sondar came up to me with a look of gloom on his face.
I nodded my head as I shed tears over the lost lives of my children. I may not have named all of them but they were still precious to me. I still cherished their lives, they did not deserve death.
"How many did survive Sondar." I said with a coldness that I didn't mean to let slip. He flinched a little but quickly regained his sense. Me and him walked away from everybody to a more private corner of the cave so we could talk privately.
"We gave them food and I carved out a big enough cave that they could fit in. Your son Grayson is still hanging in there, I gotta say he is a tough little bastard. He had his heart damn near exposed but he stayed alive. His willpower is just astounding."
"Haha if you think that's astounding just imagine when he becomes older and stronger. He put up a fight against a Royal guard. And hes only been alive for ohhhhh I don't know maybe a little over 10 months? To be honest my timeline is a bit hazy."
He looked at me with a worried expression. "By the way Vexsus, I heard that you go through phases were your nothing more than a feral beast. Is that true?"
I nodded and looked down not being able to look him in the eyes. "I do, It's a shame that I have to admit this but ever since that blast that almost killed me, it's like something snaps in my head after a little bit and my mind just glazes over. Remember when I lost control and would eat whatever was around? Well it's kinda like that except its for weeks at a time, but during this time it's like I'm put in the back while somebody else takes control. I can scream and scream but nothing comes out while I watch my body follow basic instincts."
I noticed that as I talked more and more, Sondars face would frown deeper and deeper. I could tell that to him I was a major risk, hell I knew it to but I didn't want to leave them again to in my head I was coming up with a cage that could possibly withstand my strength aswell as keep me in control when I eventually do lose my sanity again.
"Hey buddy listen, I know I am a huge risk to you and everybody here. But I really don't want to leave, however if you guys want me to than I'll gladly go. I just need to make sure that you guys can look after my kids. Just promise me that as the last favor to me and I'll leave."
"No, no it's not that, well yea kinda it's a little about that. But the main thing is that well we all are getting tired of being in a cave for so long. I mean yea we are getting loot since technically this is a dungeon but we all want to breathe fresh air again. I want to bathe in water that was not created magically and use a bathroom that doesn't need to be washed away every day or else it gets nasty. We are tired of living like this so, we decided that when we finally rescued you we would leave for the surface. We are planning on going back to the tunnel that we used to enter here and escape using that holes that Digger had used to provide us with air. Hopefully they are still there but with my powers I'm sure we can manage."
I thought about it and it sounded like a good idea. But then a realization came over me. What would happen when I go crazy while we were digging out way out.... Or after we do get out and into the open air. I think that is what was worrying Sondar so much.
"Hey, I know your worried about me losing it while doing all this. I do to but I promise that I will do whatever it takes to keep my sanity. I think that being near you guys are helping me as a matter of fact. I can't be too sure but I'm pretty confident that being near you with the way our soul is connected is actually keeping my sanity intact."
He looked up at me with hope in his eyes. "I hope that's the case buddy, Because even though you may have been our leader and friend, aswell as my brother that I swore to be besides. I vowed to keep the others alive. And you know that if you go insane and turn feral that well.... We might have to fight eachother." Sondar looked straight in my eyes to show me how resolute he was and how determined he was to uphold what he said.
I Knew he meant what he said and so I nodded and pushed his shoulder back. "Haha, no problem man I wouldn't blame you for it either. You know how I feel about all of you, Your my family and I would not want to hurt my family. Which is why I have been coming up with an idea for a cage that could hopefully keep me from lashing out."
I went on and described a stone cage made up of pure refined magic crystal. While I was lucid I did a couple experiments and found that unrefined crystal was good for basic runes but when fully refined, the runes power would be amplified by tenfold. I figured that with the right protective runes and other things. It might be enough to keep me caged and keep the others safe.
After a few minutes of talking we called over Sylvania and Kitsoma. I would have called Shorunt over aswell but Sondar said that it would be best to leave him watching over Graysons recovery. I was a bit confused but otherwise agreed.
"So this is my plan ladies what do you think? It would be best if I kept my sanity but if I do lose it I would prefer to be caged up like a beast than have to fight you all." I said while looking at the other 3. I could tell their power had grown over the last year as I felt their auras bloomed and applied a minor pressure to my body. It wasn't anything I couldn't handle but was still impressed nonetheless. I could even get a faint image of some kind of beast or creature behind each of them almost as if the aura themselves were alive and growing.
"Main question is can we even build it? I mean where are we going to find so much pure refined crystal?" Sylvania the strategist asked. I knew she would be the first to think of the resources first but that was the easy part.
"All we have to do is dig up some unrefined crystal, let me refine it with the huge pool of mana I gained as I evolved and then using Sondar's Earth manipulation we build a cage. Then would be a bit trickier as we would need someone who has extremely fine control over their mana to write the individual runes that would make up the cages protection."
Kitsoma looked a little confused as I looked at her so I explained. "When writing runes, a person has to concentrate and focus their magic to a fine point. Then while still focusing, has to then 'draw' a magic infused rune onto a surface. It takes both extreme concentration aswell as the mental fortitude of doing multiple extreme tasks all at the same time. You need to both create the 'Tool' to draw aswell as being able to 'Draw' at the same time. Afterwards if the runes are placed correctly they will activate upon closing the door and start to suck away my mana that will then fuel the rest of the runes, insuring that my strength is sapped away, Hopefully once my mana is all sapped away I will regain consciousness."
She sighed. "Do you really believe that it will save you or is this a bandage over an other wise gaping wound."
"haha, you caught me, this would be only a measure to keep me from killing you all while we figure out how to stop this from happening permanently. I don't want to be a downer but your power that you worked so hard to achieve is little more than a nuisance to the power I gained from surviving and consuming stronger and stronger opponents for the past year. I know your all strong but you would be a little bit stronger than the Royal guards that I splatted like the insects they were."
They looked stunned by my words and a more than a little hurt and defeated. "You mean to tell me that after everything we went through this whole year, you are still leaving us behind with a canyon in between us? Also you didn't have to be so ruthless. You could have just said you got stronger, there was no need to make us feel useless again like we used to feel." Kitsoma said while she started pouting.
Man that was something I missed all this time that I never thought about. The way her face looked when she pouted was so adorable. I missed her smell, her sight, I took it all in as if it was a painting that I would never see again.
"ahhh now that is what I missed. Your absolutely beautiful when you pout Kitsoma."
..... Everyone including the others that weren't in the conversation stopped what they were doing and looked at me.
"Ummmm, I said that out loud didn't I?"
Sondar started snorted before going into incontrollable laughter. "AHAHAHAHAHAH HOLY SHIT YOU ACTUALLY SAID IT. DUDE YOU SAID THAT LOUD ENOUGH THAT EVERYONE HEARD IT TO HAHAHAHAHAH!?!?!?"
My otherwise purple scales lightened in color as embarrassment washed over me. I looked over at Kitsoma whose mouth was opening and closing like a fish. She was so stunned that her mind basically shutdown for a quick second before she stood up and like a robot turned and walked away.
"I screwed up didn't I?" I looked at a snickering Sylvania who nodded while covering her mouth.
"Yea you did. But kudos for having the balls to say it out loud." She said before she got up and walked over to Shorunt to see how Grayson was holding up.
This time Michael and Adalinda came over and sat down next to me and placed their paws on my arm.
"Father, Does this mean that Kitsoma will be your mistress? Does that mean your going to make us more brothers and sisters?" Michael said which make me snort and start coughing.
"Umm, Well Michael that really depends on what Kitsoma wants. I know I have feelings for her but if she doesn't feel the same way for me that I can't just force that upon her. You are still to young to really learn about these kinds of things so let's go train for a bit to clear our heads.... well my head."
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