MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

"Have you heard? There are rumors of a black-skinned silver-haired demon roaming about in the darkness." 

"Ah! Spooky!" 

Jack totally turned a deaf ear to the gossiping NPCs. What the dark elf did in her spare time really was none of his business. 

No, right now, he had another issue, his appearance. Or rather, he needed to look human if he wanted to keep going with his journey. 

Hidden Ghoul In Town —> Sketchy but fine 

Hidden Ghoul In A City —> Great plan to end up dissected 

Luckily, the ghouls knew of a method to revert the transformation. Unfortunately, they were missing ingredients for the ritual. 

This meant that he now had an insufferably annoying errand to run. 

Step 1. Convince MTG to lend him a guide.

Step 2. Head to the Wet Swamp 

Step 3. Gather rare ingredients

Step 4. Try not to die 

Easy right? That's what he initially thought too, but then the damn first step already proved troublesome. 

"Definitely not. We're currently restructuring! In the last tragedy, we lost way too many members, and we're severely understaffed." Their leader adamantly refused him. 

"…." He just needed one guy! How hard could that be?! 

Apparently, they were all busy putting magical defenses in the mine shaft. Only their leader was still here, filling out paperwork for all the resources they'd need. 

Jack could only sigh. Magical defenses against dark elves? It would be about as effective as trying to drown a fish! 

"Listen, there is one thing that could make me switch manpower over…." The man meaningfully suggested. 

Just like that, Jack was sent on a fetch quest. Problem was that what he had to fetch was actually the sole mage of the Town, aka the exhibitionist. 

It wouldn't be too hard, right? 

— Knock! Knock! — 

"Hey, mage, you there?!" Jack kept banging on the door as if the mage owed him money. Respect toward a noble mage? Error 404 not found! 

"I heard he once tried to hug you naked. I thought he'd answer you in a flash. What a shame." Bubblegum exaggeratedly sighed on the side. 

"Half-naked, not naked!" Jack corrected. 

"Sure, sure." 

— Knock! Knock! Knock! — 

"It's no use, young man. He's in seclusion experimenting, and a noise-canceling array surrounds his place." A kind lady passing by chuckled.

What now? Jack was at a loss. 

"Screw that geezer, I guess. Maybe we can hire many players to work together to replace him?" 

Moon Moon seemed to be in deep thoughts for a few moments but then reached enlightenment. 

"Woo?! Woo!" (Screw him? Shit on his yard!) 

"Pfftt— There's no way we'll do that, Moon Moon!" Bubblegum Rebuked. 

Yes, there was no way they would...actually…

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

A tragedy had begun in the Town of Sprigfield, one that would forever remain a stain on its history.

"Grab a bucket, hurry!!" Panicked shouts resounded across the entire Town. 

The place was on fire. It wasn't an especially large or destructive one, but it was absolutely everywhere. 

Thick smoke covered absolutely everything, sticking to objects and people alike, making the latter choke and hurl non-stop.

The fire wasn't the worst. The real issue was the smell, one so heavy that it permeated everything and corrupted anything that was good in this world. 

"Who the fuck lit literal shit on fire?!!! Goddammit!" 

"I swear, if I catch those kids, I'll murder them!" 

A distance away, a duo was observing their handiwork with expectation. Even they who were used to the stench of death had to admit that this one was particularly heavy. 

"3…"

"2…" 

— Clang! — 

"What in a wizard's beard is happening here?! Who's disturbing my experiment? Show your— Blerhg!" The poor mage appeared furious, only to vomit from the smell. 

That was their cue to move in. 

"Hey there, mister mage. We need your help with—"

"I have better things to do with my life than to help you and your wolf! I have to restart from scratch after that last failure. Damn smell that—"

"It's a job outside of Town, with fresh air and all…." Jack tempted. 

The mage perked his ears at fresh air, his face betraying an instinctual longing. After all, staying here was death! (Or that's how it felt.) 

Jack happily left, the NPC and wolf in tow. He was akin to a conqueror leaving with his prize. Many players crowded near them, trying to get magic lessons. 

"Please, just teach me one spell!" 

"How can I apply to the Towers?!" 

"Please let me be your apprentice!"

They all kept coming with requests, the NPC frowning. That was exactly why he didn't go out much. Well, that and the rumor about his propensity to undress. 

Escort NPC to the mine! 

Jack had the feeling of being an idol manager. How shameless could players be?! Couldn't they bug him after Jack was done using him? Geez! 

Once they arrived at the mines, the MTG peeps looked at him as if he were a god. 

"You managed to convince him! How?!" Their question was obviously a delicate subject. 

— Successfully Traded Mage for Guide! — 

Had this been an old-school RPG, there would have been a little tune: "Brehart has joined the party!" The explosive miner would double as an escort. 

"Woo!" (We did it!) 

Afterward, all of them headed toward the Swamp. As soon as they came close, they could smell the odor of decomposition and stagnation. 

It was as if one had left stale water on the counter with a corpse in it to rot. It smelled a third as bad as the disaster they had caused in Town. 

There was soil to be seen, but it was hard to differentiate it from the muddy brown water. Finding footing would be extremely challenging here. 

"Whatever you do, make sure you follow my exact footsteps. This place is a deathtrap. Do you understand?" The guide instructed. 

He chanted for a second, his eyes starting to glow. This was the result of a special faction-only scouting spell. It had been designed specifically for this place. 

The Swamp didn't allow to leave any physical markers since they would quickly get swallowed up. MTG had a unique magic for that. 

"Woo?!" (What's that?!)

The little wolf pointed to a floating light slightly away from the path. 

"A fool's hope. It's a wisp that baits explorers. It looks beautiful, but you will 100% be swallowed by the Swamp should you go near." Jack explained. 

The T1 area of the Swamp was dangerous for the ill-prepared. In fact, there were already countless posts on the forum urging people to stay away from that god-forsaken place. 

Perhaps the worst for a player wasn't to get stuck in a bog but the time it took to die. One could slowly fall for hours before finally suffocating. It was such a waste of time! 

"Sir, what are we looking for here exactly? You said you had something to gather." Their guide asked.

"Virulent Fungus." 

"What?!" The NPC suddenly lost its footing in shock. "There's no way we'll be able to grab that with only the two of us!!" 

"Woo!" (Three!) 

Sadly, the little wolf's heroic figure did little to appease the man's worries. At first, he even wanted to turn back. 

"I brought you Mister Mage. Are you going to renege on your word?" 

"T-this…"

Just like that, they resumed their journey, soon arriving at their destination.

They were on a small soil section, almost surrounded by water. There was a small island a distance away, creating a perfect circle as if artificial. 

"It's the only place it grows, but we can't reach." 

"Woo!" (We just need a boat!) 

The little wolf was a smart wolf. But, this time it was wrong, for his master only shook his head. 

"A boat won't work. The water here is special and boats won't float at all. Even I am not sure why. It's like the world itself wanted to prevent it."

"Woo!" (Then we swim!) 

"Nope. I swim. You'd die instantly." Jack rubbed his partner's head one last time before plunging into the water. 

"Are you crazy?!!!" The NPC screamed, terrified. 

That's when Jack's outer pumpkin armor melted like chocolate in a warm pocket. As if it wasn't enough, he was suddenly dragged into the depth. 

There was no struggle. Just like that, he was gone, a life lost. 

"Woo!" (Don't worry!) 

The NPC glanced at the little wolf with pity. The foolish animal still believed in its master, tail wagging happily. Sadly, he knew what awaited him down there….

— 

Jack stared at the vine that had grabbed him. It looked like a wrinkled cadaver's arm that had seemingly elongated after the years. 

On the side, there were brilliant blue wisps that floated all around, akin to jellyfishes. Many rushed toward him, entering his chest greedily. 

[Evil Spirit Tried Possessing You! Failed!]

"There's no need to resist!"

"Play with us!"

"Forever!" 

They were like small children that just wanted to have fun. Well, in this case, the fun would have been deadly for pretty much anyone. 

For an instant, he stopped moving entirely, enjoying the view. There was surprisingly beauty hidden in death. It was so marvelous! 

"I'll catch you!" He grabbed at a few of the wisps playfully, the creatures freezing. There was something wrong with the situation… 

For the first time in the History of Infinite, a being was actually playing with them?! Even the vines stopped moving, equally confused by this development.

They had met their match this time. 

Ghoul VS Small Time Undead? 

This wasn't a contest! The more he "played", the more disappeared in puffs of magical smoke, all energy drained from them. Eventually, the whole party ran away. 

[….]

[Acquired Title: Who's The Monster Here?!] 

— 

"C'mon. Let's go. Your owner isn't coming back." The man sighed regretfully. This suicidal idiot didn't deserve such a loyal companion. 

"Woo!" (Look, he's back!) 

The wolf was pointing with its paw. The NPC turned around to check, confused…. That's when he saw the monster. 

"Oh god?!!!" G-ghoul?!" He almost had a heart attack right there. 

"Pfft— Relax, no big deal. Don't you remember me from the arena when the dark elves captured you?" 

"That was you?!!!" 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, time to go. I got what I came for." Jack smiled happily. 

The NPC had countless questions…