MMORPG: Rise of the Peerless Pumpkinmancer

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The shouting suddenly died down, with only the clucking remaining.

Had the people in the meeting come to blows? Had they somehow managed to resolve the conflict? Were there any dead?!

That's when the door was slammed wide open. The Chief was coming out, alone and smiling…

"Oh god, look at his face! D.L. is doomed!"

"Yep, that's why you guys should have joined I.R.L. Suckers!"

"Everyone, he's about to say something! Shut your goddamn traps!"

The Chief showed his most heroic profile, captivating the braves. He had their undivided attention as he began his speech:

"Recently, a vile being has been lurking in New Leaf village. This Devil used the one known as the Demon King to try and corrupt this world, almost succeeding."

"Luckily, all of you heroic people helped to drive it away and protected our beloved village so that—"

"Bullshit, you fucker! It's the Demon King that did all the work and who—" A cultist shouted amidst the discourse.

The Village Chief didn't even bother answering as he grabbed a pebble on the ground. A flick later, the troublemaker's head was exploding, and he resumed talking as if nothing had ever happened.

— Splatter! —

"As I was saying, we did manage to drive it out in the end. Now, this whole thing started because of one man's mistakes. This obviously deserves death and—"

"Fuck you, bastard! Our God is immortal and—" Another pebble was thrown.

— Miss! —

"You totally missed me, you bastard! You should learn to aim better for—"

— Splatter! —

Even if that guy did die, there were dozens ready to take on the mantle. Death? So what?! The cultists were prepared to stage a revolution. No one would slander their leader!

They would fight for their beliefs and defend their God's honor! They would— but they suddenly all stood down.

The Head Cultist had invoked the power of instant messaging, and it was super effective!

The atmosphere turned strange as the unruly cultists suddenly turned super silent and even eagerly began listening to the Chief. What the hell was wrong with them?!

"As I was saying, summoning a Devil is deserving of death, but he did play a significant role in its subjugation."

Many shuddered as they remembered the inferno and the holy light engulfing the entire plain. If that was barely considered significant, then they hadn't done shit!

"Thus, here is my final verdict! From now on, the Demon King will temporarily be part of the village, and D.L. will temporarily be considered an official faction."

Temporarily?! What did that even mean?!

"As such, they will be allowed to resume their activities on the Training Grounds and regain control of the Chicken Arena. Also…"

Wait, had they made peace?! What about all the shouting from earlier? This sure was unexpected!

But then many frowned as they realized the implications. They'd have to play nice with the crazies/noobs. Then again, this might be better than an all-out conflict.

"Also…I.R.L. and D.L. are now at war."

What the actual fuck?! War?! After all this talk about being part of the village, they'd fight?! What about the peace?! They had gone from buddies to mortal enemies in one freaking sentence...

"In virtue of preserving the village, a few rules have been agreed upon. There will be various challenges: organized PVP, duels, hunting, dungeon clearing, and even life skill contests!"

Challenges? Would this only be a friendly competition? What was even the point of that? Were they trying to reproduce the Olympics or something?

"The villagers will be the judges, and the losing faction will be disbanded. You better give it your all!"

Disban-fucking-ded?! Wasn't that hella harsh?! Scratch the friendly part! They'd have to crush the opponent, or they'd lose their faction advantages!

This clash would be deadly!

I.R.L. VS D.L.

Good VS Evil

Innocent VS Edgy

Half-naked leader VS Overdressed one

Both factions were already looking over the other party with fighting intent. There was no way that they would lose! They couldn't wait to crush their rival!!

"Or right, there is something else…." The Chief looked incredibly solemn.

What was it now?! He had looked so casual while announcing a freaking war. In comparison, this one had to be huge! The players couldn't help but gulp.

"…I.R.L. will now have emblems. Hopefully, this will prevent further confusion." He nodded seriously.

That was it?! That was fucking it?! Was there a need to look that serious?!

Just as they were complaining inwardly, the Demon King and his goons finally exited the building.

As they passed near the Village Chief, the two leaders stared at one another as if boxers before a fight. Holy shit, the killing intent was almost palpable! The Chief spoke first:

"Soon, I.R.L. shall cleanse the world of your filthy organization. You should be happy the others spoke up for you, or you would be six feet underground."

"Hehe, keep lying to yourself. We both know the villagers did it to save you. Anyway, you'll soon be like the dirt I'm trampling right now."

"Trample all you want. It won't change the outcome. The braves following me were born to eradicate evil, you shitty Demon King wannabe!"

"Damn, must be harsh failing their life's purpose that spectacularly! Someone call the suicide hotline just in case."

"Tch— You'll see soon, you prick."

"Ok, boomer."

The two finally separated, with Jack having the last word in this bout of shit-talking.

"D.L., follow me. We're getting out of here!" He shouted, and his men (+ a wolf) answered his cry.

That's when an enthusiastic noob just couldn't help himself:

"That's it. Run with your tail between your legs! Hahahaha, I.R.L. forever!! Get wrecked!!"

CPR dude and Head Cultist guy suddenly shared a glance. Probably for the first time that day, they had no intention of fighting. They gave a smile as they began chanting.

"Fight them all! Fuck them up! Feast on their blood!"

With both of them joining forces, the effect was instantaneous. The shout was endlessly repeated until it turned from a whisper to a mighty roar. It wasn't just loud either. It contained so much fucking power.

"FIGHT THEM ALL! FUCK THEM UP! FEAST ON THEIR BLOOD!"

Just as it became the loudest, CPR dude made a subtle gesture. As if they had repeated it a thousand times, they all took a mighty step forward at once, seemingly charging at I.R.L!

"They're coming!"

"What the hell?!"

"Fall back!!"

The noobs faltered, recoiling a few steps back only to see the sardonic smile of their opponents. All they had done was take a single step, and they had driven fear into their heart.

There was only a few that hadn't moved at all, the man known as Lead at the very front. He could only sigh to himself. It would take a lot of work to turn those wimps into worthy warriors.

D.L. left their heads held high, prepared for what would come. Their spirits couldn't be higher. So what if they were outnumbered? They wouldn't lose, for the future of D.L. rested on their shoulders!

In the back, a few NPCs watched the show with wry smiles.

The Demon King loved scheming so much that he even did it against his allies! How would the players react if they knew everything was following his will?

Still, they couldn't help but find it strange. Why were the braves so hyped? Wouldn't peace have been preferable?

Whatever, they had to get ready. It was time to train heroes...

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[A/N] Hype! Feb Mass Release Time! 🔥

Day ?: Lost Track of Time.. Bunch of chaps coming today. Here's a Gecko 🦎