Life, Once Again!

"There's a saying. An actor does not cry. However, they make others cry. An act where the actor does not feel sad but the watching audience feels sad. What do you think, Mr. Sungjae? Do you think such an act is possible?"

Sungjae replied that it was impossible to Miso's question.

"Why do you think so?"

"Because it's a matter of sympathy."

"Sympathy, you say."

"To compare it to a concert, there are definitely differences in a concert when I do it with all my heart in joy and one where I just do it since I don't have a choice. Especially when it comes to the reactions of the audience."

"When you were truly happy, did the audience react to you more?"

"I believe so. When we started having fun on stage, the audience started jumping around as well. Even if we don't tell them beforehand when they should jump, everyone jumps in unison at the climax as though it was all planned beforehand. I believe that's the power of sympathy, and that acting has a similar aspect. I don't believe that many people would feel sad when the actor does not feel sad."

"Very well. Then that's one vote for impossible."

Maru saw Miso raise her left index. Then, she asked the same question to Gwangseok, who sat next to Sungjae.

"I don't think it's possible either. Instructor, you mentioned method acting from time to time. To become a character means sharing their emotions, right? The character's sadness is my sadness. Dang, I think that's such a cool line. Don't you think?"

Gwangseok smiled in satisfaction. Miso shook her head.

"So, are you saying that you can't do it?"

"Yes. Maybe it is possible, but they wouldn't be able to win against people that actually cry. The depth of their emotions should be different."

"Alright. Then that's two votes for not possible."

Gyunglim spoke next as though to show that she was used to these kinds of lessons. Just until last week, she looked like she didn't want to speak in front of four others, but she looked quite relaxed now. It seemed that she felt much closer to the others.

"I think the same. Just like how the ones that think they're good will hide their tails in front of the ones that are actually good, the ones that are pretending to cry might look lacking compared to people that are actually crying. In the first place, it's imitation. Imitating crying is crying acting."

"So in order to make the audience cry, the actor themself has to cry?"

"Yes. I think it'll be much easier."

"Then I guess that's three votes."

Maru purposely avoided Miso's gaze that moved onto him. She didn't like being one-sided. That was why she always wanted an opinion from the other side when things were leaning too much one way. This was why he didn't want to sit at the end.

"I also think that…."

Before he could even begin, Miso shook her head. She was quick and clear about her actions. Maru could feel the invisible pressure that told him to say otherwise. He turned around to send help, but the three that already replied clearly told him with their expressions that they weren't interested in sharing his burden.

He couldn't exactly blame them for it because he himself had the same expression as them last week. That time, the one cornered was Gyunglim, and she had to stutter her way out while being stared at by Miso.

There were no cases where Miso's question didn't end with an answer. It would only end if the answerer said something, even if it was not satisfactory. After thinking for a while, he started speaking,

"People put themselves in the character's shoes even if they know that it is fiction, and treat that fiction as though it was real. There's no need to search far for this case since even books are mostly just stories that one author has written with his or her imagination, but the readers participate as members of that world despite knowing that the world is false. It's the same with dramas. The people that are moving and talking on screen are all fakes that a writer creates, but we find ourselves becoming enraged, crying and smiling together when the characters encounter various events. In some way, there is already a screen. The ones watching already know that the world unfolding in front of them is false. In such a situation, I don't think there's any meaning in differentiating actual sad crying and pretending to c…."

When he said it out loud, he felt that he was going a little too far, so he decided to fix his words, but Miso replied as though she was waiting to.

"So what you're saying, Mr. Maru, is that the frame of acting is already false, so there is no meaning to the emotions that an actor has, and the only important thing is the viewer, right?"

"It's not entirely meaningless. I just think that its importance is a little lower since the viewers already accept what they're seeing as fiction."

"Then the mechanisms of acting must be similar to a machine then, correct? As long as the actor can show precise movements and agreed-upon emotional gestures, then the absence of emotions can be an exception?"

"In an extreme case, if two people with the same face, with the same voice, and with the same speech tone created the same expression, it is highly likely that the viewer would not spot a difference between the two. If there were no visual and aural differences between two actors where one puts in their emotions while the other does not, wouldn't the viewers accept it as the same acting and the same emotions?"

Miso clicked her fingers. Maru sighed in relief. That signalled the change in the direction of Miso's arrow. This time, Miso's arrow was aimed at Sungjae. Maru could see Sungjae's cheeks twitching.

"What do you think about that?"

"I think he's righ…."

"No, speak under the assumption that he's wrong."

Sungjae groaned and fell silent. He would feel very upset since he received the hot potato. Also, Gwangseok, who sat next to him waited with an ugly expression. Sometimes, the one next to the one being punished was more anxious after all.

"I think what Maru said makes sense. However, what's important is that people are not machines. In this world, you cannot have two people act the exact same."

Miso nodded. However, it seemed that Sungjae's answer wasn't enough to go to the next question.

"Then, where does the difference between an act with emotions and an act without emotion come from in the perspective of the audience, who already knows that what they're watching is false? No, does it even exist? Perhaps it's just as Maru said, and it's just a matter of technique and emotions are just superficial?"

Maru thought about that question as well. What were emotions? What did 'emotions' mean to an actor?

Silence continued for around 10 minutes. Maru glanced sideways. All three of them were in deep thought. They looked like they were at a loss.

There was no sharp answer for this. Although various thoughts were flashing in his head, there was nothing that looked 'right'. Every one of them looked right, and at the same time, they all looked wrong. In this vagueness, Maru ended up raising the white flag. When he sighed, the three others all sighed as well. It seemed that they weren't able to come up with a good answer.

"Looks like you've all given it some deep thought, so let's stop here for today."

Miso clapped and signalled the end of the lesson.

"Since class is over, I'll stop the polite speech. You'll continue to come across this dilemma if you continue your careers as actors. Acting, if you dig deep enough, is also emotional labor. You're bound to get exhausted. Just expressing emotions is hard enough, but there are actors that even fit their body shapes to that of the character's. They're all working hard in order to show a good act."

Miso picked up her script which was on the ground.

"If you continue doing that, you'll end up finding yourself minimizing your emotional consumption as much as possible one day. After all, after working for a long time, you'll gain some tricks here and there. Acting is the same. That is when the path splits. One type will continue to believe that their own sadness is the same as the viewer's sadness and will continue to imbue their emotions. The other type will generalize their actions and increase efficiency. I can't say which is right or which is wrong. That's because there is no answer. It's a matter of personality, and perhaps just innate constitution."

What's bound to happen will happen. Thanks, everyone - she finished off before telling everyone to leave.

"Haa, it's over."

Gyunglim spoke as she stroked down her chest. Gwangseok also sighed.

"Running is better than this. Squeezing my brain like that doesn't sit well with me," Gwangseok grumbled.

"I'm off first. Sungjae-hyung, see you tomorrow."

"See you."

Gwangseok took his bag and left the class first.

"I'll get going as well. See you tomorrow, both of you."

Gyunglim also left while staggering.

"Shall we go as well?"

"We should."

Maru turned off the lights and left. In the class opposite to theirs, it seemed that there were some vocal lessons going on as he could hear a baritone voice.

"Want a drink?"

"If you're treating me, sure."

They went to the convenience store in the next building and grabbed some drinks. Maru waited for Sungjae at the counter with a drink, and he saw Sungjae come with a triangular rice ball and some ramyun.

"You're drinking that?"

"I'll eat it like I'm drinking it. Aren't you hungry?"

Maru grinned and grabbed a ramyun and a rice ball for himself. He poured some hot water into the ramyun and sat on a chair outside the convenience store.

"You're a successful idol and you're eating that?"

"I'm resting these days, so my income isn't that good."

"The recent concert was the last one, right? I mean, your activity as an idol."

"There won't be any more until the end of the year."

"Wow, your president is amazing, having a super popular idol rest for half a year to practice acting."

"Instead, she scheduled concerts in Japan and China from the beginning of next year, so I don't feel that good about it."

"That sounds good, Japan and China."

"I'm going there to work."

After emptying the ramyun in a single breath, Sungjae made a soft smile. He looked happy.

"What do you think of the fans? Do you still like them?"

"I do. They're people that like me, so there's no way that I'd hate them. My entire income is thanks to them. Though, sometimes, I feel scared as well. Everything I'm going to achieve in the future will receive the 'it's because you're the idol Sungjae' treatment. No matter what I do, that tag will not leave me."

"You want to become independent?"

Sungjae took a bite of his rice ball and shook his head.

"No, I'm just grumbling. I'm so popular and everything I'm doing is doing well. Why would I give up on this?"

"Aren't idols supposed to be pure like fairies?"

"The trend is honest idols these days. Rather than that, what do you think about that before? Are you the emotion faction or the mechanical faction?"

"Me?"

Maru rolled around the words in his mouth. Which side was he on, huh?

"Hyung."

"Yeah?"

"Do you ever have that feeling when you act? That there's an acting you in front of you, and there's another you calmly observing from behind."

"I don't know. I'm the type that forgets about everything when I focus. Is that what you see?"

"Yeah, well. These days, I think it's becoming even clearer. There is a self of me that's closely observing the other me that's getting angry."

"Haha, then do the two selves give feedback then?"

"Sometimes."

Sungjae laughed. He clearly thought of it as a joke. Maru also loosened his expression and smiled. This wasn't worth any serious talk.

"If what you're saying is true, then you are both on the emotional side and the mechanical side?"

"Right."

Sungjae giggled and stood up.

"Let's go. I'll drive you to Suwon."

"It's fine. It doesn't take long by train."

"Just do as I say. I'm just going on a drive."

"A drive, with a man like me?"

When Maru cringed and looked at him, Sungjae just shrugged.

"Hyung."

"What is it?"

"Do you have experience dating a celebrity?"

"What if I say yes?"

"Then that's just that. I'm just asking out of etiquette. I heard that asking these questions is proof that you're a popular star."

"You have a glib tongue. Why don't you try going on a discussion competition or something? I think you'll do good."

"I thought about that too."

Maru picked up the empty ramyun container and stood up.

"Ah, right. Hyung."

"Yeah?"

"Can we take a photo together on the way?"

"Why?"

"I need some cards for negotiation. These days, my sister keeps annoying me."

"Ah, that sister. Well, you can take photos if you like. I can do that much."

"Thanks. God bless you."

Maru smiled as he thought about how Bada would jump up and down asking him where he got the photo from.

"Hey, seeing you grinning like that makes you look like a scammer."

Sungjae spoke as he walked. Maru just shrugged and followed him.