I’m Really a Superstar

Translator: Legge Editor: Legge

At this moment.

The whole world did not know whether to laugh or cry!

…

Japan.

"Damn!"

"What kind of person is this!"

"This fellow is such a hooligan!"

"This program is being broadcast all over the world!"

…

Korea.

"How bold of him to say something like that!"

"What sort of a Peace Prize recipient is he!"

"The Nobel Prize Committee is probably in tears right now!"

…

India.

"Your grandpa!"

"Who are you thinking of attacking!"

"How can he speak so recklessly!"

"This Zhang fellow is too shameless!"

…

The UK.

"Quick, go and watch China's CTV International!"

"What's the matter?"

"The Peace Prize recipient is encouraging violence!"

"Ah?"

…

China.

"Pfft! I'm cramping up from laughing!"

"What a brilliant answer!"

"Hahahahaha!"

"Well said, just attack them!"

"This is indeed Zhang Ye's style!"

"Seeing Zhang Ye still behaving like the old times is really reassuring for me. I had thought at first that this fellow would start behaving cautiously after winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Who could've thought that he'd still be as reckless as ever? He said it really well! Who cares about negotiations and protests? Just get them! Attack them!"

…

The interview went viral the moment it was broadcast.

It started spreading on the Web.

More and more people came over to watch when they heard about it. They switched over to the Central TV International Channel, wanting to see what kind of shocking words the Nobel Peace Prize laureate would say. Which of the Nobel Peace Prize recipients in history were not presidents or heads of large organizations? Which of them did not have a graceful demeanor to them and would speak prudently? So it wasn't like they had ever seen a Nobel Peace Prize recipient like that before! In this world, it wasn't only the Chinese who loved watching entertainment.

Very quickly, they knew they were right in coming to see this!

Because Zhang Ye was about to say something that would dumbfound people around the world!

…

On TV.

Yu Yingyi hurriedly changed the subject.

The three of them began conversing about the current military strategy of China.

Zhang Ye drank his water and did not cut in at the beginning.

Yu Yingyi and Chi Xue probably did not dare to ask him any further questions in fear that this fellow would say something staggering. As such, the two of them only talked between themselves.

Yu Yingyi said, "If a war starts, will the Yellow Sea 1 become a crucial spot of contention?"

Chi Xue said, "Of course it will. This is a very important location where the situation of the neighboring countries is very complicated, so the Yellow Sea will become a key strategic location to battle for. I was involved in a military project related to nuclear submarine data processing, so I know about the threat and terror they pose. Its technology has advanced greatly these days. For example, America has nuclear submarines that can sneak into the Yellow Sea without getting detected at all."

Yu Yingyi asked, "Then what weapons does China have to take on such threats at the moment?"

Chi Xue gave a bitter smile. "According to what I know, we don't have any measures against such threats yet. And even if we do detect such threats occasionally, we don't really have a quick response to strike back."

Yu Yingyi said, "Perhaps there are some new weapons systems that haven't been announced yet?"

Chi Xue shook her head. "I'm not in the field of weapons research, so I don't really know." She then turned to look at Zhang Ye. "But Fellow Zhang is in this field, so maybe he can analyze it better?"

Only then did Yu Yingyi ask, "Fellow Zhang, can you give us an analysis of this?"

Zhang Ye smiled and said, "We definitely have new weapons systems, but it's not convenient for me to talk about them. However, about the Yellow Sea…" He looked at the map and pointed it out. "The situation here is rather complex. If a war really does break out, China is still fully capable of finding ways to not let the enemy's nuclear subs in."

Chi Xue said in surprise, "What ways?"

Zhang Ye smiled and said, "The Yellow Sea is relatively shallow, so it's very dangerous for a submarine to enter into the territory. There's no way to dive deep, and they would need to surface to be able to pass into it."

Chi Xue nodded. "That's true."

Zhang Ye smiled and said, "I'm not sure if you two have seen how they cultivate kelp in the countryside?"

"Ah?" Chi Xue was taken aback.

Yu Yingyi was also dumbfounded. "Kelp?"

Zhang Ye gestured. "Yes, kelp, in the Yellow Sea area, how do the villagers grow them? Nylon ropes this long are thrown into the sea, where the kelp slowly grow to several meters long after being planted. If we scale up the planting, without even needing to cover the entire area and planting them at several key locations in a linear fashion, which submarine can enter the area? If they dare to come in, you know what the nylon ropes with kelp will do, right? Once they get entangled with the submarine's propellers, the submarine is as good as scrap. Every submarine they send in will get sunk. There won't be a need for any strategic weapons at all. In the Yellow Sea, kelp is the most strategic weapon we can employ against the nuclear submarines."

Yu Yingyi stared blankly at him!

Chi Xue nearly spat out a mouthful of blood!

The entire recording studio felt silent!

Kelp?

Strategic weapon?

Entangle the submarines?

Yu Yingyi stated, "Well, we have reached the end of our program today. Please join us tomorrow at the same time, and we will continue to hear about Fellow Zhang and Fellow Chi's views on military affairs."

The first episode ended.

Then the entire world blew up!

…

China.

"I'm gonna faint!"

"When did kelp become a fucking strategic weapon!"

"Aiyo, I'm dying of laughter!"

"Kelp that entangles submarines?"

"What the heck! Only Zhang Ye would dare to raise a viewpoint like that!"

"Misleading! This is fucking misleading!"

"This is a military show? Military, your sister! Even kelp can become a fucking strategic weapon?!"

"I've been looking forward to hearing Zhang Ye's views on military affairs! But what is this shit about kelp? Teacher Zhang, do you have to be so funny!"

"Kneeling to Face-smacking Zhang!"

…

America.

"What kind of military show is this!"

"Kelp?"

"Why doesn't he just die!"

"This guy is too good at bullshitting!"

…

Japan.

"I have to take my hat off to him!"

"I really have to take my hat off to him too!"

"Can kelp really entangle a submarine?"

"Like hell it can! You actually believed him?"

…

Korea.

"What the hell!"

"Why does he dare to speak so recklessly!"

"Don't you know Zhang Ye? Whatever he says, even the punctuation marks are not to be believed!"

"I'm cramping up with laughter!"

…

The UK.

"W-What kind of a military expert is he?!"

"Kelp that entangles submarines? He should go to hell!"

"This is bullshitting on a whole new level!"

"China's kelp industry could soon become an asset in its strategic warfare!"

…

The entire world was shocked!

"Kelp that entangles submarines" soon became a trending phrase!

The various countries' media were all rushing to report about this!

But to everyone's surprise, amid the laughter of people around the world, the matter got a shocking reversal!

America: "China's latest weapon: Kelp?"

Russia: "Would entangling a submarine with kelp really work?"

Canada: "China's CTV International's interview attracts controversy!"

China: "There have been similar cases of kelp entangling submarines in the past!"

Germany: "Incidents of kelp entangling submarines have happened before!"

Many people around the world were doubling over with laughter. A lot of them nearly passed out at this revelation, while others cursed at it. They had thought that this was pure bullshit, but surprisingly, this was refuted by the various countries' media outlets that dug up cases of similar incidents happening in the past. Entangling submarines with kelp was really a workable strategy!

Countless people were horrified!

Even this can be done?

Damn! It really can!

People around the world found themselves going crazy at this discovery!

…

Meanwhile.

Back at home.

Zhang Ye's phone was exploding with calls.

Yao Jiancai was on the other end of the line, laughing. "Kid, are you trying to kill me with your jokes?"

Zhang Ye laughed and said: "I was being serious, alright? That was not a joke."

Soon after, General Li called.

General Li said in a speechless manner: "You really went all-out to mislead foreigners, huh?"

Zhang Ye replied: "Didn't you ask me to feel free to mislead them?"

General Li was floored. "I said to throw them off, not bullshit them with such outrageous claims!"

"Actually, this isn't really misleading either." Zhang Ye smiled and said: "There's a basis to it."

Of course, the people of this world hadn't heard of it before. But back in Zhang Ye's previous world, a lot of people knew of a saying that was very popular across China: kelp that entangles submarines!

Zhang Ye had also been thinking of what to say on his first appearance on a military show. What should he say? What topics would arouse the interests of everyone? As a result, he suddenly remembered the chief of the "Strategic Fool You Agency" in his previous world, Zhang Zhaozhong, 2 and ended up bringing out his famous words onto the program!