I’m Really a Superstar

Chapter 1274: Zhang Ye gives a monologue!

Translator: Legge Editor: Legge

On Weibo.

"Quickly go and watch!"

"Zhang Ye is hilarious!"

"That guy is MCing!"

"Those are totally new lyrics, I'm pissing my pants laughing!"

"There were a few popular female streamers who wanted to steal his thunder, but after that rap, those streamers have all stopped streaming. There were no more viewers left in their channels!"

"Are you serious?"

"Damn, I wanna have a look!"

"Here's the URL, come and have a look, quick!"

"Come quickly, there are already several million people in the channel!"

"Haha, why did those female streamers think that they could compete with Zhang Ye with just their abilities!"

"Yeah, that Zhang Ye is well-known for crossing into other industries. Where has he not gone before? I'm not even surprised that he's streaming and even MCed. But if it were other A-listers or the Heavenly Kings and Queens who MCed, I would definitely puke blood. That's because the performance totally does not suit their statuses. Neither would they lower themselves to MC either. But Zhang Ye is different. He has performed 'I Feel So Drained,' 'Nonsense Has Its Nonsense Logic,' and performed comedic crosstalks as well. Ever since his debut, he has been so terrible. It even feels really right that he should be MCing now. This is too funny. Of all those in the entertainment industry, I like how shameless Zhang Ye can get! There's nothing too vulgar or too elegant that he won't do!"

What was emceeing?

It was a form of rapping that was used to host and pump things up. It wasn't exactly music, but could be considered a special form of rapping. Its style consisted of commercial emceeing, bar emceeing, etc.

An A-list celebrity was actually emceeing!

So who wouldn't want to come and watch?

The number of viewers in Zhang Ye's channel kept soaring!

…

Meihe TV.

In Streaming Studio #1.

The music stopped.

Zhang Ye had sung his fill of the song and was very pleased with it. In the past, when he was in his previous world, whenever he watched streamers emceeing with great enthusiasm, Zhang Ye had always wanted to give it a try. But there wasn't an opportunity to do so then, so he never expected to fulfill his dream in this world. Perhaps this was the charm of a livestreaming site, as there weren't too many restrictions or concerns about such things. Anyone could say whatever they liked and sing whatever they wanted. And today, Zhang Ye had brought out a simply amazing song. This was a rap song called "Drunk and Alone." It was a very famous rap song from his previous world, and any streamer could immediately sing a few lines of it whenever it was played. Regardless of its artistic value, it was always fun listening to it.

Zhang Ye said to the camera with a grin, "Well? How was it?"

Countless replies followed.

"That was awesome!"

"66666!"

"We're all kneeling to it!"

"Teacher Zhang, you're so bad. Those female streamers' streams have been totally swept away by you!"

"Hahaha, everyone has come over to this channel."

Zhang Ye picked up a nearby bottle of water and gulped some of it down. He screwed on the cap and put it to the side, then smiled and said, "There are more people watching now, and the atmosphere has warmed up too. This is pretty nice. Let's have fun today and not care so much about the rules. I'm usually not allowed to say too many things on TV shows, but I think it matters less now that we're here. I'll do anything that you guys might like, so we can all have a good laugh and go back to work happy tomorrow. Isn't that what we artists are valued for?"

The comments below:

"Right!"

"Well said!"

"Being happy is more important than anything else!"

"Teacher Zhang, I love you!"

"Zhang Ye, show us some more songs that we've never heard!"

"Right, sing something we don't know!"

The most outstanding feature of an Internet livestream was its interactivity.

Zhang Ye also understood this truth. He laughed and said, "How about something a little different? There's only so many songs that I know, and you've probably heard and seen most of them. So let me think for a little bit." With a pause, he said, "How about this? I'll perform a crosstalk for you all. You've all watched my crosstalks with Old Yao before, and also heard that musical crosstalk from a few days ago. But I don't think anyone has ever seen me give a monologue 1 before, right?"

Everyone was taken back and suddenly became very excited!

"Wow!"

"I've never heard that before!"

"You even know how to monologue?"

"I thought you only knew how to do a crosstalk!"

"Bring it on! Bring it on now!"

"I'm really looking forward to it!"

"Everyone, come quickly. This Zhang fella is going to monologue!"

"Let's donate in encouragement!"

A monologue?

Even Ha Qiqi and the others who were in another room were starting to look forward to this, much less anyone else. They'd never heard Zhang Ye do stand-up before. Because compared to crosstalk, a monologue was much more difficult to perform. And its difficulty wasn't just a matter of being twice or thrice more difficult, but several times harder. There would be someone else supporting you as the fall guy in crosstalk, but you could only depend on your own mouth in stand-up comedy. The format of the dialogue would also have to be much more coherent and complete as a result. In this world's crosstalk scene, of the remaining active crosstalk actors, there were really not too many who could put on a good monologue routine.

It went quiet.

Everyone was listening attentively.

Zhang Ye cleared his throat as his entire aura changed. It felt totally different from when he was emceeing earlier as he said in a calm manner, "Let me tell everyone about something that happened during my childhood. Don't judge me based on what I am now. In actual fact, I was never exactly talented at performing crosstalk when I was young. Instead, I was rather stupid when I was young. These days, the children's childhoods are much happier than in the past. Before they can even speak a word of Mandarin, they've already been enrolled in English classes."

Ha Qiqi laughed, "Pfft!"

Little Wang laughed loudly. "He's going to insult the English language again!"

The people watching the live stream were also laughing. Just how badly did Teacher Zhang do in English class when he was in school? Was his hatred for it so deep that he had to hurl an insult at it whenever possible?!

Zhang Ye continued, "And they have so many things that they can play with too. What kinds of toys do kids these days not have? They're always carrying around electronics like computers, cell phones, video games, and stun batons—oh, that's not supposed to be played with. When I was young, I had an electric gate at home and my father wouldn't let me touch it."

"Hahahaha!"

"As if he would let you touch it!"

"A stun baton?"

"Pfft!"

Everyone started ridiculing in real time!

Zhang Ye shrugged and said, "Kids these days even own MP8 2 devices while I had nothing back in my day. I even got called out by my teacher during class. I wasn't listening in class one day when the teacher was teaching and was instead whispering to my friends. Then, our teacher punished me and said, 'Zhang Ye! Stand up! Loudly repeat what you said just now 20 times!'" Zhang Ye sighed and said, "I didn't dare not say it, so I stood and recited, 'There's a veggie stuck in teacher's teeth, there's a veggie stuck in teacher's teeth, there's a veggie stuck in teacher's teeth'—The teacher turn green with anger and quickly said, 'That's enough, sit down and listen to class.'"

"Hahahaha!"

"Aiyo!"

Ha Qiqi held her belly and laughed loudly!

Little Wang couldn't take it anymore either!

Zhang Ye said, "During recess, after we had played every game we could think of, the class monitor organized a friendly competition for us to see who could stick their heads into the classroom desks." Pausing, he said, "I was pretty good at it and managed to stick my head in one." Then, with another pause, he went on, "But I couldn't get it out after that."

"Hahaha!"

"You deserve it!"

Zhang Ye said, "So they called my dad over to send me to the hospital. But the janitor wouldn't let me go. He said that the desk was public property and that I had to get it off before I could go. My dad said if he could get it off me, we wouldn't have to go to the hospital."

"Hahaha!"

"Hahahaha!"

Zhang Ye said, "The doctors these days are really responsible to their patients. When we were young, the doctors would fool us and say that they would need to amputate me from the neck down. My dad said, 'Beheading has been abolished for a long time,' as he pulled me away and ran off. Then we decided to return home. But as I couldn't get onto public transportation, I had to walk home with the desk on my head. 100% of the people who saw me couldn't help but turn their heads, wondering just which branch of the military I belonged to."

"Military?"

"Hahahaha!"

"You should be called the Desk-man!"

Zhang Ye said, "We had a neighbor who was a carpenter and he said that we could saw the desk apart. But my dad thought that maybe it wasn't such a good idea—the school was still holding on to the deposit. He said, 'It's not so bad to bring the desk around. It's much more convenient for him to do his homework this way.' But with my head stuck inside and unable to see anything, how could I do any homework? Finally after three days, I slimmed down and managed to extract myself."

"Pfft!"

"Do you have nothing better to do!"

"I'm cramping up from laughing!"

Zhang Ye said, "Children these days can watch so many meaningful shows, like crosstalk, puppet shows, dramas, musicals…while we all only had a few shows to watch, and they were even presented by the district amateur troupe. I watched 'The Taking of the Wudang Mountains' when I was young. In the scene where Zhao Haifeng was going to execute Chen Gui with his gun, one of his hands was pressed down on Chen Gui, while the other one held the gun. Following a gesture from Haifeng, the props master backstage would bring up the hammer and smash it for the sound effect. Bang! Chen Gui would then play dead. The performance that day was staged in the playground and it happened to rain. The sound effects prop got wet and when Zhao Haifeng did the gesture, the gun didn't 'fire.' We students were all stunned, but the teacher told us, 'Uncle Zhao Haifeng's gun has a silencer on it.'"

"A silencer?"

"Were there silencers in that era?"

"Hahahahaha!"

Some changes had been made to the content.

"The Taking of the Wudang Mountains" was a very famous show in this world.

Zhang Ye said, "But as Chen Gui did not hear the sound effect, he didn't play dead. Zhao Haifeng continued acting and said, 'On behalf of the people'—there was no sound, the prop was still wet. 'On behalf of the people'—still no sound, it was still a wet prop. Zhao Haifeng was panicking by now. 'I'm out of bullets? On behalf of the people, I-I'll strangle you to death!'"

"Strangle?"

"Hahahaha!"

"How could he strangle him to death!"

"Aiyo, I'm dying of laughter!"

Zhang Ye said, "With this strangling happening, I stood up and said, 'Uncle Zhao Haifeng has such strong hands!'"

"Hahahahaha!"

"Who cares if his hands are strong!"

This comedy made many people stagger in laughter!

The insults and praises kept scrolling past, one after another!

Everyone found this very interesting and refreshing. They had heard many monologues before, but never had they come across this style of comedy Zhang Ye had done today!

Only Zhang knew what it was.

This was called the Qingmen Style of crosstalk.

This routine was an excerpt from Fang Qingping's crosstalk back in Zhang Ye's previous world. It was titled "A Blissful Childhood." Zhang Ye had always liked it a lot and thought that he might as well bring it out today. Actually, there were many other monologues that he could have done, like Master Ma Sanli's and Master Liu Baorui's performances. But as their works hadn't aged well and contained a greater sense of artistry and story, it wasn't too suitable for the mood. As such, Zhang Ye thought of Fang Qingping's routine after much consideration as he found it to be the most apt for the stream.

After the monologue finished.

It became even rowdier in the channel.

No, it wasn't enough to describe it as just rowdy!

The number of viewers in the channel soared as dozens of whales appeared!

XXX has sent you an airplane!

XXX has sent you 10,000 lollipops!

XXX has sent you 10 aircraft carriers!

The number of viewers exploded!

The donations kept rolling in!

There was laughter all around in the channel!