I'm Actually a Cultivation Bigshot

A bald dog appeared under the moonlight and he was striding toward them as if on a catwalk.

“Lord Dog is here!” The people of the Heavenly Palace said. They were very close to him and seeing him was like seeing a family member.

“I was worried the Dragons would disturb the expert’s meditation retreat. Looks like that won’t be the case now.”

“Look, Lord Dog is wearing new leather pants with a new pattern on it. I can’t see it clearly though.”

“Lord Dog tore his leather pants in the ancient battleground. I’m guessing the expert fixed it for him.”

The Heavenly Dragon Chief raised his eyebrow and sized Blackie up. “A bald dog?” He asked with surprise. Compared to the other Rare Chaos Creatures, Blackie seemed extremely normal. There were no light beams, no shocking scene, and with his appearances, he looked even worse than a stray dog.

The Dragons started to doubt him.

“Where did this dog come from? Surely he’s not a friend of the Rare Chaos Creatures.”

“Birds of the same feathers flock together so how did this dog manage to befriend them?”

“I can’t believe he’s actually wearing short leather pants. Looking at it hurts my eyes.”

“The world has gone to the dogs, literally! How dare he act so brazenly in front of us Dragons?”

However, it was not long when they suddenly cried out, “Wait a minute. Take a closer look at his short leather pants! It doesn’t seem to be ordinary pants at all.” At first glance, Blackie’s pants seemed to be made up of many small squares arranged in a very strange way. But when they took a closer look, it seemed as if that part of his body was blurred out.

“How is this possible? Even in my realm, I’m starting to feel a sense of surrealism.”

“What are those squares exactly? It seems to be jumping around.”

“I can’t see clearly. It’s as if he’s hiding a huge, important secret underneath the pattern.”

“I’m scared. It must be a kind of Wisdom image. Not everyone can draw this.”

“How is it possible that all I can see of the dog’s *ss is some kind of blurry silhouette?”

It was not only the Dragon who were amazed by Blackie’s pants, but also the Heavenly Palace force. They felt as if a whole new world had opened up before their very eyes.

“Haha, what rocks have you all been living under?” Blackie asked with a smirk on his face. He pushed out his butt and said arrogantly, “Master sewed this pattern for me. It’s called a mosaic pattern. My old leather pants had evolved into mosaic leather pants!”

The Heavenly Dragon Chief gasped in admiration, “This mosaic’s ability to conceal and mess with one’s vision is so powerful!” Even he himself was affected by the pattern which just proved that that leather pants had reached the level of Wisdom already.

‘My power will shoot through the roof if I get my hands on it!’

“Bald dog, I’ll let you live if you give me your pants,” said the Heavenly Dragon Chief with burning desire in his eyes.

The corners of Blackie’s lips twitched up. “Oh no, I couldn’t possibly ask you to let me live. Why don’t you show me how you plan to kill me?”

The chickens started to raise a ruckus.

“Lord Dog, we were here first therefore have first dibs on them.”

“Yeah, it’s not everyday we get to show off. Why don’t you let us have some fun?”

“The only thing we can do in the four-part architecture is lay eggs. We have to have some fun now!”

Blackie shook his head and said, “No, you all have to remember that your first line of duty is to lay eggs. If not, what good would it be for you all to be by the expert’s side? It’s not that I don’t want to let you all have some fun, it’s just that my new leather pants are itching to have a go at them too!” Then to the others he said, “All of you don’t interfere too. My leather pants said it wants to take out ten of them!” He then made his way slowly to where the Dragons were.

“Insolent puny dog!”

“No dog had ever dared to challenge us Dragons since the beginning of time!”

“Seems like he has forgotten he’s a dog. We should amend that!” The Dragons cried furiously. They were a little cowed by the new arrivals but not to the extent that they would run away with their tails between their legs. They were determined to band together and take out Blackie.

They did not know the extent of Blackie’s power so did not think it would be prudent to keep him alive. Even the Heavenly Dragon Chief had mounted an attack on him.

At that moment, night had turned into day with the infinite destructive light covering the sky. The lights look beautiful but deadly at the same time. Those were the attacks of all the Dragons, each of them an elite of their own species. There were thirteen Heavenly Realm fighters with the rest of them being Chaos Daluo Golden Immortals. Their combined power was enough to destroy the place many times over.

“Be careful, Lord Dog,” The people of the Heavenly Palace said.

“Haha, nothing to worry about,” Blackie said with a barking laugh. He activated his mana and was instantly bathed in the light. He turned his back toward the Dragons and jumped up to the sky, aiming his butt straight at them.

Instantly, the wind blew and the clouds surged over. The power of fire, ice, lightning, hurricane exploded onto Blackie’s butt in technicolors as hammer, spears and other weapons attacked his butt. It was a sight that would make anyone wince. However, Blackie’s butt deflected those attacks away as if they were nothing.

“How is this possible? He’s using nothing but his butt power to deflect our attacks.”

“He even managed to deflect the Heavenly Dragon Chief’s attack. Could it be that he’s a Wisdom Elite?”

“It must be the leather pants! The leather pants are of the Wisdom level. But how was it made?”

“What a terrifying butt! What heaven-defying leather pants!”

Everyone was filled with admiration and panic at the same time. They suddenly felt their strength leaving their bodies when they realized their worldview had completely been upended.

“Calm down! He’s only using it as a defense. There’s nothing he can do if we run now! Everybody fall back!” The Heavenly Dragon Chief said calmly. The battle was not going to turn out in their favor. It was better for them to retreat and regroup.

However, Blackie was obviously not going to make it easy for them. “What do you think this place is? Coming and going as you please. Behold! Feast your eyes on the power of my upgraded leather pants!” Infinite light beams began to shoot out from his leather pants as the mosaic pattern moved around. Instantly, the light beams changed to a mosaic-patterned light beam which crashed over the Dragons like a tidal wave.

“Ah! I’m completely surrounded by mosaics. I can’t see anything.”

“He can even use the leather pants for attacks? Is he using formation or illusory techniques?”

“Mosaics everywhere! I can’t take it anymore. This is hell. I’m gonna faint.”

The Dragons were completely blinded by mosaics and descended into madness.

The Heavenly Dragon Chief coldly scanned his surroundings and chose a random area to attack. Immediately, he heard someone cry out, “Ouch! Be careful everyone. Somebody ambushed me.”

“Me too! The enemy is hiding out of our sight. What a coward.”

“Forget about him. We should attack at the same time to break out of this mosaic world.”

With that, the Dragons attacked their surroundings at the same time. Being a third-party observer, the citizens of the Area of the Gods could clearly see their attacks landing on the Dragons’ own comrades as pitiful shouts echoed all around them. One by one, the Dragons started to fall to the ground.

What happened was truly absurd. No one would have believed things to end up like this if they did not see it with their own eyes. Who would have thought so many elite fighters would be tricked by leather pants to kill their own?

“Amazing! Lord Dog single-handedly took out all the Dragons!”

“I can’t believe a leather pants could possess this much power after being fixed up by the expert.”

“The expert could turn any old junk into a treasure! He continuously opened up new worlds for me!”

“I wish the expert’s mojo would rub off on me. Maybe I’ll become invincible then.”

Every one of them were gasping out in admiration and their respect for the expert had reached a whole new level.

Blackie’s nose was pointed to the sky at his newfound power. “These new pants is definitely cooler than the old one. Hahahaha.”

On the contrary, the Dragons were looking at Blackie with eyes full of fear.

“Lord Dog, can you please tell us why you’re targeting the Dragons. At least then, I can die without regret,” said one of the elders from the Yellow Dragon tribe. They finally understood they should have heeded the warning to not make an enemy out of them. They shuddered at the thought of the expert who was infinitely more powerful than this bunch.

At their pitiful sight, the Big Lord Demon simply shook his head. ‘I’ve warned you all and yet were adamant for me to show you the way. I bet you all are regretting it now. Oh well, I’m not to blame in this matter.’

“Why would I waste my time on you Dragons?” Blackie asked with an air of indifference.

“Didn’t you kill us Dragons in the ancient battleground? They were even made into cured meat!” The elder replied.

“The cured meat contained only Heavenly Dragon meat. You would know if you just watch this.” Blackie knitted his brow together and with a wave of his paw, the scene of the ancient battleground appeared in the sky.

“D*mn those Heavenly Dragons for turning their backs on their own comrades to gain the favor of the ancient race!”

“Shameless! The Heavenly Dragons are truly shameless for killing their own.”

“They were the ones who asked us to take up arms this time! What sell-outs!”

“Die, Heavenly Dragons! Arghhh!”

All the other Dragons became livid after that. They were determined to seek revenge against the Heavenly Dragons.

They would not have caused offense to the expert if the Heavenly Dragons did not rally them to take up arms. Now they were stuck between a rock and a hard place and the most frustrating thing was they were played by their own race! Waves after waves of anger erupted out from the bottom of the heart and the other Dragons started to fight with the Heavenly Dragons.

The Heavenly Dragon Chief took the opportunity of the chaotic battle to transform into a giant silver dragon and flew up to the air in an act of escape. However, he was halfway up the sky when a dog paw descended from above him and nailed him to the ground, completely destroying his Origins of Life.

“You’re being too naive if you think you can escape from me,” said Blackie coldly.

“Lord Dog, I beg for your mercy. We only did what we did under the influence of the Heavenly Dragons. We’re willing to surrender.”

“Please, Lord Dog. Please let us Dragons live,” begged the other Dragons pitifully after they had subdued the Heavenly Dragons.

Blackie started to hesitate. In his eyes, these Dragons were premium game meat. He was sure that the expert would enjoy an all-dragon feast. It was true, only the Heavenly Dragons deserved to die but it was also true, all the Dragons there would taste delicious as a meal.

Suddenly, Ao Cheng stepped out from the crowd and bowed respectfully toward Blackie. “Greetings Lord Dog. I’m Ao Cheng, East Ocean Dragon King.” Ao Cheng had paid a visit to Li Nianfang before so Blackie had seen him around. He nodded at him to continue.

“Lord Dog, the Heavenly Dragons were the instigator of this whole matter. The other Dragons are only victims. I’m also a member of the Dragon Race so I sincerely beg you to spare their lives.” He stated his purpose first before ending it with an idea. “There’s an easier way of getting your hands on some dragon meat. You can request them to give up some of their flesh.” He was good at kissing *ss so could easily tell what Blackie was thinking about. He remembered Lord Kunpeng and the West Ocean Dragon King managed to save themselves by using the same tactic.

“Not a bad idea at all,” said Blackie with bright shiny eyes. “We’ll do just that. You go and choose some high quality Dragon race. Make sure you get one from each race.”

“Yes, Lord Dog,” said Ao Cheng.

The other Dragons collectively breathed out a sigh of relief. They quickly made their way to Ao Cheng to thank him. “Thank you for saving our lives, friend. Are you a Dragon from the Area of the Gods?”

“Yes, I’m a local Dragon,” said Ao Cheng with pride. Then with a grave expression, he said, “I saved you all so that we can better serve the expert. From now on, we only receive orders from the Dragon Emperor, ok?”

“Understood! But who is this Dragon Emperor you speak of?”

Ao Cheng stroked his beard and smiled. “The Dragon Emperor is with the expert now. You’ll only need to see the chickens, cows, and dog to know of his current status.”

“Is the Dragon Emperor that powerful?”

“Oh my! We have a bright future ahead of us!”

“It is an honor to serve under the Dragon Emperor!”

“We’ll surely level up under the Dragon Emperor’s rule!”

The Dragons were vibrating with excitement. The battle had been a blessing in disguise after all.

Ao Cheng waved his hand and said, “Ok, that’s enough. Everybody line up! I’m going to choose some meat. Giving up some flesh will hurt but don’t worry for you’ll all recover in no time under the expert’s care.”

Then, he began to inspect the Dragons one by one.

“Your meat must be tough since you’re so old. Pass.”

“You have too much fat. The expert doesn’t like fatty meat.”

It continued on like this for quite a while.

Blackie yawned and said, “Let’s all go back. Don’t forget to transform back once we’re home.”

The chickens, milk cows and bees all made their way back to the Fallen Immortal Mountain. When they were near the four-part architecture, they restrained their glow and transformed back to normal looking farm animals and bees. The chickens hid their rainbow feathers and clucked their beaks to the sky. All traces of their previous majestic aura gone.