I'm Actually a Cultivation Bigshot

“Haha, surrender obediently. Tell me your secret!”

The Old Ginseng was very pleased. He looked at Nanan and the others with a passionate gaze.

A huge Loach with a black aura wriggled toward them. Its body expanded while dripping a nasty liquid. It was about to strangle everyone.

Jiang Liu slowly stepped forward with a calm face. His longsword emitted light. A murderous Sword Qi soared to the sky.

The blade flashed and chopped the Loach into pieces. It fell from the sky.

“Huh?”

Everyone was dumbfounded.

“What’s going on? Is he not poisoned by the Disintegration Dust?”

“Perhaps it’s not working? Lost its effect?”

“It’s impossible. What’s going on with him?!”

The Old Ginseng was also taken aback. He frowned and asked, “Why aren’t you poisoned?”

Nanan pouted and scoffed. She said, “Tsk, it’s merely Chaos Spiritual Qi. Are you trying to bait us with that? We don’t want it. It’s trash!”

Xiao Chengfeng laughed, “So true. This Chaos Spiritual Qi’s impure. How can you see it as a treasure?”

The cultivators of the Heavenly Palace were not poisoned.

They came to pick on the Palm Sword Cliff. They knew that the Palm Sword Cliff would pull some sort of scheme, so they did not absorb the Chaos Spiritual Qi.

Of course, they were not really impressed.

Everyone looked awkward and ashamed. Some of them thought it was unfair.

‘What? Are you insulting us?’

‘Are you saying that we are too low-class? Is it our fault that we were poisoned because we were greedy for trash?’

‘Who are these people? They’re so arrogant. Not impressed by Chaos Spiritual Qi? Liars!’

They cursed them out internally, but they had nothing to say while lying on the ground.

“Good cultivators, the cultivators of the Palm Sword Cliff are ambitiously cruel. Don’t let them win!”

“Cultivators, you resisted the temptation of Chaos Spiritual Qi. Respect!”

“Heroes. Save me, heroes!”

Everyone asked for help.

“So what if you didn’t take in the Chaos Spiritual Qi? You can’t change anything!”

The Old Ginseng sneered coldly and waved. The Loaches bolted toward Nanan and the others!

Two big Loaches were Realm Cultivators. They were extremely scary. They could wriggle a hole in time and space.

“Watch out!”

Cultivator Junjun and Goddess Nuwa rushed to rescue. However, they were stopped by the elders of the Palm Sword Cliff!

Meanwhile, the disciples of the Palm Sword Cliff attacked everyone.

Too many cultivators were poisoned. They could not fight back at all. They were instantly killed. Horrific screams could be heard everywhere. Blood washed over the land.

The Sword Master held onto the Sword of Slaughter. He levitated and looked at everything coldly. The Sword of Slaughter shined red and a bloody aura gathered around the Sword Master, surrounding him like Wisdom.

The entire Yuan Qi secret border shined a blood-red hue. It seemed to be some sort of Spell Formation. A special ritual was being carried out.

“Lady Nanan, Lady Dragin, hurry up and back away!”

Jiang Liu stared at the malicious Loaches with seriousness. He was afraid, but he was ready to fight with his life by holding a sword.

“Woodsman, I think you should back away instead.”

Dragin slightly lifted her little hand. A spray can appeared. “Puny Loaches. We had them in our backyard once. My brother gave me a pesticide spray can. I’ll spray them dead.”

Psh—

Psh—

Two waves of water mist hit the Loaches.

“Ah, what is this?!”

“It’s our kryptonite! This spray’s our kryptonite!”

“I cannot do this. I cannot move my body!”

“Memorial Spirit, save me, save us! We’ve been poisoned!”

The bunch of Loaches were confident before. They plopped to the ground in the blink of an eye. Their breaths quickly weakened like they were about to die.

“Another legendary treasure!”

The Old Ginseng was horrified. However, he lost his mind to crazy greed.

“These cultivators have a lot of magical treasures. They must have a huge secret. Also, think about it, that hoe, that ladle, and that spray can must be related to the Memorial Spirit! As long as I figure it out, I might become successful!

“The time has come for this old Ginseng!”

The Old Ginseng was flushed. His powers suddenly heightened. He moved toward them with his Ginseng roots.

Dragin lifted her hand and went toward him with that Willow branch. “Sister Willow, thanks for the help.”

The Willow shined a jade hue. It was holy and magnificent. The branch danced without the wind, then it flew toward the Old Ginseng!

Jiang Liu also raised his sword. Thirty longswords flew on his command. He single-handedly cast the Heaven-Defying Sword Formation and teamed up with Dragin.

Of course, the flying swords were gained from the Second Sword Intern and the others.

“Ha, you want to fight me with a little Willow branch and two weak cultivators? Your Memorial Spirit’s too overrated!”

The Old Ginseng scoffed. His Ginseng roots were overwhelming. They reached towards Nanan and Jiang Liu!

Everyone from the Heavenly Palace fought the elders of the Palm Sword Cliff. The battle of powerful cultivators was intense. The Heavenly Palace lost in numbers, so they were at a disadvantage. They could barely defend themselves.

The scariest Sword Master had not made a move yet. He levitated in thin air and was terrifying.

Nanan did not fight him. She grabbed a handful of Garlic from her back.

She started to pass it to everyone. “Hurry, eat the Garlic everyone. It helps with detox!”

Everyone laid on the ground and waited to die. They were all dumbfounded when they got the Garlic. They carefully inspected it. It seemed to be raw.

However, there was no time to explain. It was their last straw. They had to eat it regardless!

Chew!

Everyone ate the Garlic. The sounds of chewing overpowered the sounds of battle.

“Ha. How ridiculous!”

The disciples of the Palm Sword Cliff sneered and mocked.

They stepped toward them like they were executioners. They raised their swords and were about to take their lives.

The cultivators widened their eyes in horror. They ate the Garlic but it did not seem to be working.

Suddenly, somebody looked flushed. His butthole tightened, then relaxed.

Poot—

A long and rhythmic sound could be heard. It was too outstanding. The entire battlefield went quiet.

The cultivator who farted squinted in enjoyment. He even shivered it out.

“Ah! So stinky!”

“No, I cannot believe such a horrid smell exists.”

“I’m going to faint. No, I’m going to die!”

“Damn, I cannot hold it in either!”

Poot—

Poot—

The entire Yuan Qi secret border started to sound like drums. Every fart was unique and rhythmic.

Meanwhile, a visible grey gas could be seen coming out from everyone’s buttholes. It slowly gathered to the sky and turned to a grey cloud.

At that moment, a stinky smell hovered over the secret border. It had a mixed acidic smell, too.

The disciples of the Palm Sword Cliff were about to kill. They were baffled when they smelled the stink. They went blank from it.

“Oh no, their farts are poisonous!”

“Stop breathing, hurry up and stop breathing! Their farts are mixed with the poison from the Disintegrate Dust. Don’t sniff it!”

“I’m weak from the smell. Save me!”

“Help, I don’t want to die like this! Kill me!”

The disciples who were at the front were poisoned from the farts. Their powers vanished and they could not escape. They could only endure being suffocated by the farts. Their eyes rolled back and they vomited. They had a fate worse than death.

“Good. That Garlic’s a legendary item. It saved us all!”

“My powers are back!”

“Thank you for the gift, cultivator. You’ve saved us all. We’ll defeat the scums of the Palm Sword Cliff together!”

Everyone looked serious, as if the stink did not affect them, as if they were not the ones who farted.

A lot of young men surrounded the Goddess as soon as they revived their powers. They protected their Goddess.

The princess of the Luotian Dynasty blushed. She held her breath and controlled her stomach with her powers. She tightened her butthole to prevent gas from coming out.

Her body was slightly shivering because she endured it too hard.

A young man said, “Princess, this is my Crystal Jade Shield. It can block toxic gas. You can wear it.”

“Thanks.”

The princess was happy. She accidentally relaxed her butthole.

Poot!

‘Oh no, I leaked a fart!’

The princess was instantly redder from blushing. She was so embarrassed. ‘Argh! No!’

The surrounding young men were calm. They slightly sniffed it with their noses.

‘Yo, I see that the fart of a Goddess isn’t aromatic.’

The Saintess of the Hundred Flower Sect looked calm. Their flowy dresses made them look like Goddesses in paintings.

For a situation like that, they were trained to stay calm at crucial moments.

To protect their Goddess image, they knew how to release the gas inside their body slowly. They perfected farting silently.

They took a deep breath and slowly executed it.

They slowly started to pass gas.

The first fart was perfectly silent. However, as soon as they opened the ‘gates’, the gas started to rush out.

Poot, poot, poot—

Their dresses were moving. Their farts were like honks.

The farts changed the style of the scenario. At the same time, it changed the battle.

The disciples of the Palm Sword Cliff were poisoned from the farts. They were weakened.

The forces teamed up. They had three Realm Cultivators on their side. The cultivators of the Palm Sword Cliff were stressed as they started to lose control.

The grey gas slowly rose to the Sword Master. Then, it engulfed him…

The Sword Master held the longsword. He was concentrating on Slaughter Sword Cultivation. Blood red hue surrounded him like a halo. He did not want to stop abruptly.

He could only stay in the fart cloud without moving.

If Li Nianfan was there, he would be impressed. He would say something like, ‘My compliments to the bravest cultivator ever, who smells farts to understand Sword Cultivation.’

“Sister Dragin, I’ll help you!”

After Nanan detoxified everyone, she went toward the Old Ginseng with a hoe in hand!

The hoe looked ordinary in her hand. However, her movement had Wisdom. She plowed the thin air and caused the realm to shake.

At that moment, the Old Ginseng was like an ordinary Ginseng and Nanan was a farmer who plowed fields. The Ginseng was fated to be planted by the farmer!

The hoe smashed into its roots. She picked on it and instantly threw the Old Ginseng off balance.

Dragin’s willow branch had a figure. The figure appeared to be as skinny as a Willow tree in the wind. It whipped the Old Ginseng!

Slap!

The Old Ginseng cried out. Half of his life was gone.

Jiang Liu held a sword combined from the 30 swords. It turned to a sky full of sword flashes that attacked the Old Ginseng!

The Old Ginseng was trapped inside the sword flashes. Countless sword cuts were left on him.

The Old Ginseng was horrified for a moment. He glanced at the battlefield and felt his heart sink. He yelled at the Sword Master, “Sword Master, why won’t you attack yet?!”

The Sword Master did not respond at all.

The Old Ginseng decisively turned and ran. He wanted to come back next time.

However, the Willow branch sprung toward him when he turned. It hooked onto his body and held him in place!

Nanan smashed the Old Ginseng with her hoe again. Then, she took out the Purple Golden Gourd.

The Old Ginseng was horrified the moment he saw the Purple Golden Gourd. He felt desperate and angry.

‘Another invincible Immortal Item!

‘What’s going on with these people? How did they own so many Immortal Items?

‘Where did it come from?

‘F*ck! Are you telling me that Immortal Items come in stocks?!’

“I remember that there’s Ginseng Wine in the cookbook. It seems to be healthy. My brother will like it. Here comes the main ingredient.”

Nanan excitedly pointed the gourd at the Old Ginseng. Then, she yelled cutely, “In!”

A light beamed within the gourd and onto the Old Ginseng.

“Cultivator, spare my life. No!”

The Old Ginseng yelled and shrunk in size. Finally, it was contained inside the gourd.

Nanan shook the gourd. Splashes of alcohol could be heard. She happily covered the lid.

She smiled and said, “The Palm Sword Cliff lost this time. We won.”

“It’s too early to decide that.”

Jiang Liu looked at the sky with seriousness. He was looking at the figure that was covered in farts.

“The Sword Master of the Palm Sword Cliff’s using the slaughters to improve his Slaughter Sword Cultivation. His plans were ruined by us. We did stop the disciples from killing the cultivators. However… We killed a lot of the Palm Sword Cliff disciples, too. Their deaths are his stepping stone in cultivation.”