If You Don't Fall In Love, You'll Die

Editor: Amaris

Shen Jiaze had been waiting outside for almost an hour, yet Gu Xi didn't come downstairs. He thought for a while, then parked his car and went upstairs.

The instant the sensible Little Wang saw President Shen coming, he immediately approached him and said, "Director Gu has been rather tired in these few days, so he's resting right now. Shall I wake him up?"

Shen Jiaze said, "It's alright, please let him sleep for a while."

Little Wang was extremely considerate. He intentionally led Shen Jiaze to the office door. Shen Jiaze hesitated for a moment, but Little Wang had already taken the initiative to push the door open. He said in a low voice, "President Shen, you should wait inside."

Then, Shen Jiaze got inside the room.

Little Wang felt that he had done something great! In a sense, he had done a great job!

Shen Jiaze was afraid that he would wake Gu Xi up, so he moved around quietly. He felt anguished to see that Gu Xi had fallen asleep in the chair, but he didn't dare to move him to a more comfortable position, either…

As Shen Jiaze looked at him, Gu Xi suddenly frowned, then tears started to gather in his eyes and eventually streamed down his face.

Shen Jiaze felt a thump in his heart. He promptly approached Gu Xi.

Gu Xi cried. Why did Gu Xi cry?

When the two were in a tangle for so many years, never once had Shen Jiaze seen Gu Xi cry. He was strong, mature, and always calm in any situation. Let alone crying, he had practically never shown his weak side.

But now…he…had cried. His tears fell in torrents as if he had been extremely wronged that he cried until he became a complete mess even in his dream.

Shen Jiaze was at a loss of what he should do. He felt so distressed that his heart almost became numb due to the heartache. He immediately approached Gu Xi, then hugged him tightly as he said, "Don't cry, what are you dreaming of? Don't cry…don't cry…"

Gu Xi opened his eyes. His voice slightly trembled and he looked haggard and uneasy. Then, he said, "Shen Jiaze, I'm really scared."

His words were like a heavy stone that smashed Shen Jiaze's heart. His thoughts and blood felt like they were frozen for a second, and his mouth and nose felt like they were drowned out by a tremendous amount of remorse that surged up like mountain and sea, making him unable to breathe.

"I'm sorry…" Shen Jiaze said these words helplessly.

Since the time Gu Xi told Shen Jiaze that he had never liked Shen Qingxu, Shen Jiaze had always been immersed in deep regret.

If Gu Xi didn't like Shen Qingxu, then what had Shen Jiaze done all this while?

Gu Xi had always loved him, yet wasn't Shen Jiaze himself the one who pushed him away?

As he thought about these, Shen Jiaze wished he could kill himself.

He wished he could kill himself who had made Gu Xi feel heartbroken.

Shen Jiaze wished he could protect Gu Xi in his arms, giving him the most wonderful love, and be with him forever. He wanted Gu Xi to be happy and gave him happiness, he wanted Gu Xi to receive all the good things in the world. But instead, he had actually hurt Gu Xi and had made him feel sorrowful&#k2026;

As he recalled what he had done, Shen Jiaze really wished he could smash his brain into pieces!

Gu Xi still hadn't woken up from reminiscing the past. He 'took off' his hard shell and completely exposed his softest self. He said, "I've never thought about Shen Qingxu at all when I look at you because the one I loved is you. I was fat because I was sick at that time, thus I took a lot of medicines which contained hormones. Later, my body recovered and lost weight as a result after I stopped taking the medicines…"

Gu Xi had never told Ye Chen about this, but now he told Shen Jiaze.

Shen Jiaze felt a buzz in his head. He became totally dumbfounded upon hearing Gu Xi's words.

Gu Xi continued to babble, "Before I met you, I've always wanted to be a director. I want to shoot a movie I like and do what I like; but after I met you, I want to join the Gu Family to be acknowledged by my father and the Shen Family. And that's because I wanted to be together with you."

Shen Jiaze had completely stood motionless. He…he…didn't dare to imagine it at all.

However, Gu Xi seemed like he wouldn't stop talking anytime soon. He didn't keep anything hidden anymore and continued to talk, "When you went missing for two days, I looked everywhere for you. At that time, the company was in the middle of discussing a very important project. My absence had made the company suffer heavy losses. My father was extremely enraged and asked me where in the world I had been. I was so anxious at that time because my thoughts were only filled with having to find you, thus I ended up coming out of the closet to him."

Shen Jiaze tightened the grip of his hands which were holding Gu Xi. His voice was really hoarse when he said, "I'm sorry, Gu Xi… I'm terribly sorry."

But Gu Xi seemed unable to hear what Shen Jiaze said. He continued, "After that, I was driven out of the company. I didn't know where I should go. Later, A Chen helped me, he lent me some money, became my lead actor, and encouraged me to become a director. Back then, I kept in mind that you were about to graduate soon, I wouldn't be able to give you a graduation gift if I didn't earn any money."

"Shen Jiaze, that car was ordinary, but that was all I could afford at that time."

Shen Jiaze tried to open his mouth, but soon noticed that he was unable to say 'I'm sorry' anymore.

Gu Xi said again, "You thought that I don't care about you, but how else should I care about you? Do you even have any idea of how I felt when I saw that scene in the hotel? I went back home by walking for two entire hours. I didn't know how I got back even after I entered the house. But I trust you, I trusted you! I know that you wouldn't betray me, I know that you wouldn't let me down. I requested Brother Xinghai to investigate all the details and eventually found out what was going on… Shen Jiaze, I trusted you, yet why did you not trust me?"

Shen Jiaze's eye socket had turned completely red and his throat felt like it was choked by a wooden cork that he couldn't utter even just a syllable.

Gu Xi continued, "During that time, you got drunk, stayed out late, and didn't answer my call… Do you think I wasn't angry? I was very angry! But I thought that you've come out of the closet and fallen out with your families because of that, which resulted in your behaviors. I understand you, yet why did you not understand anything about me at all?"

"Shen Jiaze." Gu Xi had cried until his voice turned hoarse, "Do you have any idea how painful it was for me? Do you know how hopeless I felt when I made up my mind to break up with you? Do you know what it meant to me losing you?"

"I'm sorry…" Shen Jiaze hugged Gu Xi tightly, then said awkwardly, "It was my fault, Gu Xi, everything was my fault."

He kissed Gu Xi as he felt his heart ache. Gu Xi's cold tears carried a hint of bitterness. Shen Jiaze didn't dare to imagine further about what he had done all this while and everything Gu Xi had endured alone.

At this moment, he would rather Gu Xi didn't love him so that at the very least Gu Xi wouldn't be this heartbroken and aggrieved.

Shen Jiaze couldn't bear to see Gu Xi being so heartbroken. More than anything, he clearly wanted Gu Xi to be happy, gave him happiness, and willing to give up on everything to wish for his best.

But…but… Shen Jiaze truly wished he could kill himself now!

Gu Xi fell asleep after he got tired of crying. He leaned on Shen Jiaze's arms, not sleeping too well.

Shen Jiaze carefully lifted Gu Xi and carried him to the lounge inside the room.

Since he fell asleep like this, he would definitely feel unwell when he woke up. Shen Jiaze thought of finding a towel and warming it up, but the instant he got up, Gu Xi was startled and trembled for a moment before he forcefully pulled Shen Jiaze's clothes.

Shen Jiaze couldn't exactly explain what he was feeling.

Something like getting his heart smashed into pieces and being gently pieced together again…

Shen Jiaze didn't move even a little anymore. He simply hugged Gu Xi carefully, then kissed his forehead as he said, "Gu Xi, please give me one more chance."

For the rest of his life, Shen Jiaze belonged to Gu Xi.

No matter what would happen in the future, he would trust Gu Xi and give him eternal happiness.

Even though they had experienced a lot of things and made a lot of mistakes, the two had matured when they had met again.

Gu Xi no longer had to bear everything by himself and Shen Jiaze had learned how to communicate and trust.

Love wasn't just those like Ye Chen and Ren Jing's, there were also those like Gu Xi and Shen Jiaze's.

No matter who you were, you would definitely be able to find your own version of love.

Two years later.

Gu Xi had finally taken Shen Jiaze along to a friend's gathering party rather than letting him wait in the car.

Ye Chen felt truly rejoiced, for he knew that Old Shen had made it! This is truly gratifying!

Ye Chen could be considered to have seen the two's journey all the way, thus he knew more about them than anyone else.

After Gu Xi had 'died' once, Shen Jiaze could be said to have let go of Gu Xi for a while. But after he heard the news of his uncle getting engaged and knowing that Gu Xi wasn't together with Shen Qingxu, Shen Jiaze felt that he could still become a 'substitute'. But why would Gu Xi need to pay attention to him? He might as well find Ye Chen to put on a 'play' and drive Shen Jiaze away completely.

At that time, Shen Jiaze felt as if the sky and earth were spinning. He felt that Gu Xi had hated him at last. He thought that Gu Xi had finally walked out of Shen Qingxu's shadow and no longer needed Shen Jiaze anymore as a result.

Feeling completely disillusioned, Shen Jiaze left his hometown. But actually, he still hadn't given up. He always felt that he had to become a better person and be more outstanding so that Gu Xi would look at him again.

But truth to be told…

The Shen Jiaze that Gu Xi loved was the best Shen Jiaze.

Later on, Ye Chen looked for Shen Jiaze to talk about some things.

He hesitated for a long time, but eventually told Shen Jiaze about Gu Xi's suicide.

He knew that Gu Xi wouldn't be able to talk about that matter for the rest of his life. The scar on his wrist had long healed, but the 'scar' inside Gu Xi's heart might not heal yet.

Shen Jiaze was the only person who could help Gu Xi take the step to healing his heart.

After Ye Chen knew the reason why Shen Jiaze made such a ruckus, he decided to tell him about this.

This was actually a punishment; the most severe punishment for Shen Jiaze.

—He had nearly caused the death of the person he loved the most.

This was what Shen Jiaze had to shoulder, which he could only make up using the rest of his life.

The author has something to say:

The next side stories will be about Old Yu and SUN.

There would still be more of Gu Xi and Shen Jiaze's sweetness. After I finish writing Old Yu's stories, there will be one more side story of a 'big reunion' (what the hell).

T/N: Aaaaand that's it! Their ending isn't the sweetest but I believe this is the best for the two of them. I trust my children in their future together; I know they could do it! Pls slowly take the steps to the happiness now!!

Also just a tiny bit of my headcanon: After this, I imagine Shen Jiaze to be the one to cry a lot. Them having a heart-to-heart talk? He'd cry. Them warming up to each other again? He'd cry. And finally, when Gu Xi suggested for them to get married, he'd literally cry a river. And I think Shen Jiaze would be the type to not take the initiative after all that happened, since he's scared he'd do the same mistake again. And after patching things up, Gu Xi would slowly convince Shen Jiaze otherwise and slaps him out of it sdfashgdajsdha… I 101% respect a considerate lover, but being so scared stiff all the time isn't good hhhhhhhh!!

ALSO ALSO I think Ye Chen and Shen Jiaze have the potential to be good friends! Especially since Shen Jiaze is younger than most of the boys (Ren Jing is the youngest iirc? Cmiiw~), Ye Chen would treat him like a little brother. They would chat sometimes, mostly about their one and only dearest Brother Xi~ It's like exchanging confidential information LOL!! Yesh I like and support gud fwenship and I could see it from them~~

OK enough of HCs now catch your happy ending pls! Begging on my knees!!

*coughs* Anyway, the next chapter will be Yu Xingzhe's turn to shine! I hope y'all haven't forgotten about him yet 😂 He and SUN be stealin' dem spotlight for the next seven chapters, so I hope you'll look forward to their story! If you need a one-sentence summary, then this is what I could say to you: YU XINGZHE IS A BIG DUMDUM, so slow!!! Let me be honest, HE'S SLOWER THAN YE CHEN BBY SDSAFDADGHADGSA;;;; BUT don't worry, he'll get it sorted out with SUN (with Chen Chen's help!! He's the true MVP in the side stories let me tell you!!! Find yourself a bestie like him!!!), they'll talk it out! HHHHHHH if I go on I'm gonna spoil the entire story so just look forward to it!! It's very sweet I promise!!! Protecc SUN and Yu Xingzhe bby at all cost I can't stop crying for them AAAAAAAAA