I Wasn't Born Lucky

Xiao Li retracted his gaze from the stack of books. He re-read the notice posted at the entrance of the infirmary and was surprised to find that the sentence should be like this:

[Be wary. When you walk through this door, you have left a safe place.]

It was just that this reminder was forcibly modified by the owner of the infirmary.

Zheng Yi hadn't seen the names of the books inside because his view was blocked by Xiao Li. He saw that this person was motionless and couldn't help whispering, "Aren't you going in?"

He hadn't seen the doctor's face but Xiao Li had already sensed a strong 'unreliable' air. Before he could answer, an optimistic voice came from inside. "Are there patients waiting in line outside? Please come in, please come in. You don't need to register here."

Xiao Li, "……"

Shen Chenzhi stated, "Go in and apply some liquid medicine. No other surgery is needed."

Shen Chenzhi reached out and pushed open the door of the infirmary. Xiao Li glanced at his wrist and found that the other person had the same scar on his wrist. Xiao Li's movements paused for a moment before he followed Shen Chenzhi and entered the infirmary.

They went around the screen at the door and saw what the novice doctor looked like. He was wearing a black cloak with a beak mask on his face. The mouth extended outwards and a decent black top hat was on his head. His eyes were two bottomless black holes and he was wearing gloves. A mall name badge was pinned on his chest: Dr J (scp-049-j).

From the outside, he looked like the plague doctor who was quite famous in every instance world. However, the book on the table clearly explained his identity. He was a plague doctor admirer or imitator.

Before the reincarnators entered, he had been reading a book in his hand very seriously. Now he closed it and tried to cover up the stack of books by moving them under his chair.

There was only one chair opposite the doctor. Zheng Yi originally wanted to let Xiao Li sit down but the other person had no intention of doing so. Instead, he waved to let Zheng Yi sit down first. Zheng Yi didn't refuse and sat down.

"Oh, three patients came at once. It is really great." The doctor rubbed his hands together and looked excited. "Sit down. However, before starting, I will first finish the daily medication for the cactus."

He opened a drawer and took out a jar covered by a black film from inside. He unscrewed the lid and poured the jar toward the cactus. A viscous liquid poured onto the cactus' soil. There was a sizzling sound and a puff of white smoke.

"The cactus has bugs. I am trying to find a way to treat it. Look, there are no bugs now." Dr J proudly showed off.

Xiao Li murmured, "That's correct but it has lost something more important…"

For example, its life.

Dr J stopped the hand pouring the concentrated sulfuric acid and screwed the lid back on laboriously. The leather gloves on his hand made this movement difficult for him. He twisted it while saying, "If you want something then you have to pay a price. This is the law of conservation."

Dr J sighed with relief at finally screwing it on. He placed his hands on the table and took out a blank case file. "Who will come first?"

There was a sudden silence in the infirmary. Shen Chenzhi looked at Xiao Li and Zheng Yi also looked at Xiao Li. They made eye contact but no one spoke first. Xiao Li simply said, "Then I'll come first."

"Just wait. Don't worry, everyone will have a chance," Dr J stated. He saw Zheng Yi sitting down and directly made a decision. "You are already sitting down. You presumably admire my medical skills very much so why don't I just start with you? Well, it is a good choice. What is your name?"

Zheng Yi, "……"

'I'm not, I don't, you are talking nonsense.'

He had a complicated expression as he answered, "…Zheng Yi."

"Very good. The patient's name is Zheng Yi. Please describe your condition," Dr J asked.

“In fact, it is nothing. We have a small injury on our arms. If you have any liquid medicine then it can just be applied.”

He finished talking and stretched his head to stare at the medicine shelf behind the beak-mouthed doctor, trying to tell which one was liquid medicine from among the strange-looking bottles.

Dr J requested, "Put out your hand."

Zheng Yi fearfully held out his hand. Dr J took out a magnifying glass from his cloak pocket and placed it in front of his eyes. He stared back and forth carefully for a while before starting to write in the medical record. He murmured in a poetry recital tone. "The patient failed to escape from prison and was left with coordinates. Solution, solution, I will think…"

Dr J stopped writing and scratched his head like he couldn't think of a good treatment method.

Zheng Yi cautiously told him, "Apply some liquid medicine."

Dr J ignored his words. "Oh, I have it. It is easy! Wait a minute!"

He abruptly stood up and the chair made a sharp noise on the floor. He walked to the pile of stuff behind the screen and rummaged through it.

Zheng Yi turned to look at Xiao Li. "Sherlock, let's go."

Xiao Li was thoughtful. "Wait a minute. I think that his words make sense."

Dr J called the mark on their hands 'coordinates.' If his words were correct, it meant the jailer could locate them through the coordinates at any time or even directly teleport to the corresponding area.

Zheng Yi watched Xiao Li sadly. Before he could complain about the unreliable doctor, he heard a terrifying laugh from the pile of things. "Haha, haha, I found it! Yes, just use this!"

Dr J turned around. This time, there was an exaggerated chainsaw in his hand. Yes, it was just like the chainsaw in the chainsaw horror movies. It had exaggerated blades and was an amazing killer weapon. Dr J seemed to have solved a medical problem. "If the arm is injured, just saw it off! Don't worry, it will only hurt for a while."

Zheng Yi, "……"

Zheng Yi, "???"

However, he couldn't say where the other person was wrong and he couldn't find a proper reason to refute it.

"Come, Patient Zheng Yi. Place your hand on the table. I'll use this and saw off your hand." Dr J carried the chainsaw while speaking to Zheng Yi.

Zheng Yi shook his head like a rattle. "Are you kidding? I-I don't—"

Dr J's voice abruptly lowered. "You don't trust me?"

He was holding the chainsaw and combined with the outfit, he looked like Jack the Ripper targeting Zheng Yi.

Xiao Li opened his mouth at this moment. "Doctor, check me first. My illness is heavier than his."

He motioned for Zheng Yi to stand up with his eyes and sat opposite Dr J.

Dr J's attention was diverted by Xiao Li's interruption. He forgot his previous unhappiness, put down the chainsaw and threw Zheng Yi's case file into the trash can. Then he took out another blank one. "Okay, I like it. If I can cure a severely ill patient then I am the best and most capable doctor in the world. What is your name?"

"Sherlock."

Dr J wrote down the name and muttered, "Why do I feel like this is a bit familiar?"

He looked up. "What's wrong with you?"

Xiao Li stared at him. "You are a good doctor. You can judge."

"Ohhh, oh, a challenge, I like challenges the most!" Dr J's eyes danced with excitement as he carefully observed the young man in front of him. "You also have the coordinates and need surgery. Other than that…"

"What else? You really have a difficult problem."

"Too calm?"

Dr J stared intently at Xiao Li. His back was sweating and his clothes were wet but he didn't notice it. He maintained this state for 10 minutes before suddenly yelling, "Oh, oh, I see, I'm really a genius, a genius doctor! Although I haven't attended medical school, I know it even without a teacher. I'm too smart!"

Xiao Li's eyes narrowed. "What do you see?"

"You are too lively and too open. You need to close yourself off more." Dr J spoke cheerfully. "I have come up with two treatment methods. One is to let me use an electric drill to tinker with the frontal lobe of your brain. The second is that I directly hit you with a hammer to make you unconscious. Which one is better?"

"It is rare that I gave patients a choice. You should cherish this opportunity."

Zheng Yi standing to the side, "???"

What type of crazy talk was this? What were these broken treatment plans? Wasn't it just 108 ways to make money and kill? He was already watching Dr J in a wary manner, waiting for Xiao Li to leave here at any time. He didn't expect Xiao Li to hold his chin thoughtfully as if he was hesitating between these two choices.

Zheng Yi, "……"

He originally thought he wouldn't be surprised by any of Xiao Li's actions. Now he had only one thought in his mind, 'Do you really want to choose?'

Xiao Li maintained this posture as he thought about something. Then he sincerely spoke. "Thank you."

Dr J was stunned. "What?"

"Thank you. You are a really good doctor."

Zheng Yi, "???"

What did he miss?

Dr J was fooled by the praise he had never received before. He abruptly forgot that he was ready to hammer the other person and replied in a shy and stuttering manner, "T-this, you are too polite. You are also a good patient. You're so kind and honest."

Dr J inwardly sighed. There really weren't many patients in this world who were so simple and kind, knowing how to repay gratitude. He tried his best to cure so many people yet every one of them scolded him. Why couldn't they be like the one in front of him? Sherlock hadn't been treated successfully yet he was kindly thanking Dr J.

Dr J had completely forgotten about the two operations he was eager to try out just now. He was only filled with the praise he heard from the patient.

Xiao Li stood up and prepared to leave the infirmary. Before leaving, he tentatively asked, "Dr J, the next time I have a patient, can I find you?"

"Welcome, welcome, you are welcome anytime. This is my calling machine. You can find me at any time." Dr J took out a strange button and stuffed it into Xiao Li's hand without any explanation. As they left, Shen Chenzhi stayed behind for a moment. He walked straight to the medicine cabinet behind Dr J and took out a medicine bottle from inside.

Dr J suddenly raised his head and stood behind this young man. "Ah, that is the only liquid medicine I have left—"

The young man took the bottle and walked out of the infirmary.

***

[Hahahahaha.]

[If I can't cure you then I'll treat you physically.jpg.]

[Wait, is it my illusion? Why did Sherlock look at this doctor with such hot eyes, like flames were burning in them. It seems as if he is very interested?]

[Of course, it is because Sherlock doesn't have a doctor friend yet.]

[The one in front can still laugh? I can only imagine if we see him later and we're injured, he will 'kindly' let this doctor treat us…]

[My smile has suddenly stiffened and faded away.]

[…I suddenly want to spend a large sum of money to introduce the real plague doctor to Sherlock. Why? For my own future safety.]

[??? After being abused, the victim has to find a good doctor himself. What is this sad story?]

[No, I think that we need a psychologist instead of a doctor.]

[…I agree with the previous view.]

[I know a poor ghost. They still have a psychological shadow toward Sherlock. They will subconsciously tremble and grab their own hair.]

[Fuck, who doesn't?]

So submissions for my celebration event are now closed!!

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