I Shall Cuck Everyone



"You were chosen because the Celestial Monkey race is the most honest and sincere race. However, that doesn't seem to be the case anymore," I remark, my expression resolute.

The prime minister chuckles softly, his demeanor shifting slightly. "Haha, not all Celestial Monkeys are honest. The notion that we're a race defined solely by honesty and sincerity is a myth. You can't expect an entire race to embody such qualities. Nonetheless, it's true that about seventy percent of the Celestial Monkey race is composed of good-hearted individuals, while the remaining thirty percent are... less virtuous," he says, reclining in his seat.

Observing the prime minister's actions, I decide to take a seat as well. The tension in the room is palpable, and I can hear Commander Lolan's nervous swallow in the background. Beads of perspiration dot his forehead, a testament to the anxiety simmering beneath the surface.

"Prince Jake, what brings you here?" the prime minister inquires, lighting a big cigarette.

"Well, you are aware that the king has awakened from his slumber. As he wishes to pass down the throne, he has tasked me with a quest to recover the lost ancient vampire artifacts, some of which are in the possession of the Celestial Monkey race," I reply with an inscrutable expression.

The prime minister studies me for a moment, contemplating my words in silence.

"I see... I can't deny that there are indeed some vampire artifacts in our possession. It's not only vampire artifacts; we also safeguard dangerous relics from other races, or they reside with the gods. However, since it appears that you are the rightful owner of that sword, then the legends must hold some truth," the prime minister concedes, exhaling a plume of smoke and fixing me with an assessing gaze.

His eyes momentarily shift to Commander Lolan before he subtly signals for him to leave the room.

"Y-Yes, sir... I must protect you. He has a Demon-rank beast with him!" Commander Lolan stammers, struggling to maintain his composure as he tries to sound polite.

Amusement dances within me as I imagine Commander Lolan silently cursing his luck and frowning at his predicament.

"A Demon-rank beast?!" the prime minister exclaims, his surprise evident. Commander Lolan nods vigorously in confirmation. The prime minister sighs deeply and directs his attention back to me.

"Gogo," I murmur softly. In an instant, Gogo materializes out of his camouflage, reassuming his natural form before perching on my shoulder.

"Kyu~ (Papa)," Gogo greets.

"Well, I'm at a loss for words. I had no inkling that a Demon-rank beast was in our midst all this time," the prime minister admits, shaking his head in weariness. He then turns his gaze toward Commander Lolan.

"Lolan, you may take your leave," the prime minister instructs. This time, Commander Lolan doesn't protest. He exits the room promptly.

Once Commander Lolan has departed, the atmosphere undergoes a marked transformation. The prime minister's expression and demeanor shift, adopting a more hostile tone similar to when I first arrived.

"So, you are really the reincarnation of the Protoss," the prime minister mutters, exhaling a puff of cigarette smoke.

I remain silent, my gaze fixed on him.

"Excalibur, the sword strapped to your side, would never accept anyone as its master. But seeing you completely tame it confirms my suspicions. The other individual who came here first to claim it made some sort of pact with the sword but couldn't wield its powers. However—"

"Now, you can sense the aura emanating from it, correct?" I interject in a low voice.

"Correct! I can sense auras from miles away," the prime minister asserts.

"Then just give me the damn artifacts I came for," I retort impatiently. In truth, I can't wait to conclude this business and return to Earth to reunite with my beloved wives.

"Here's what will happen, Prince Jake. To retrieve the ancient artifacts from us, you'll need to pass certain trials," the prime minister says in a solemn tone.

"Unlike the well-known trials of the past, your challenge will be a bit different. You'll have to face the three strongest Celestial Monkeys," he continues, a sinister grin curling at the corners of his lips.

I fall into momentary silence, weighing the implications of this peculiar trial. Something about it feels off, and I'm certain there's more to it than meets the eye. After contemplating for a minute, I draw my conclusion.

"You're trying to gauge my abilities for the gods, aren't you? You pawns and playthings of the gods," I sneer, my grin growing more malevolent. Simultaneously, the sword at my side begins to react, as if Guida shares my anticipation.

The time is drawing near—the time to confront the gods in full force. This time will be different; even if I fail, the impact will will be enormous And the gods will forever regret their actions.

Amidst these rapid thoughts and possibilities, Gogo, perched on my shoulder, emanates a subtle sense of concern.

"Kyuu~ Kyuu~ (Papa, are you okay?)" he inquires with worry in his eyes.

"I'm absolutely fine. Papa just got a little excited," I reassure Gogo, patting his head affectionately.

"Prince Jake, I think you shouldn't get excited just yet," the prime minister remarks, that sly grin reappearing on his face. "You won't be allowed to use that sword during the trial," he adds, lighting up another cigarette.

"Of course, I don't intend to use it. That would be overkill against the Celestial Monkey race," I retort, unfazed by the unequal terms, which raises the prime minister's eyebrow.

The next moment, I rise from my seat and head toward the door. But before I grasp the doorknob, the prime minister's voice reaches my ears once more.

"Just to clarify, we are not pawns of the gods, nor do we wish to be controlled by them. However, an unfair pact between our ancestors and the gods has left us no choice but to carry out their bidding," he confides in a hushed tone.

"I will take note of that," I reply before exiting the room, leaving the prime minister behind.

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