I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

“Big Brother An, back when I was still a little monkey at the Myriad Mountain Domain, I wasn’t as ugly as I am now. In fact, I was a little cute monkey back then.” Xiao Chou began his story.

“Is it the same as your miniature form?”

Xiao Chou faltered for a moment before nodding.

An Lin understood what he meant now. Xiao Chou was actually ugly back then as well, but he was too small, so it wasn’t obvious.

This was just like how basically all humans were adorable as babies, but their true colors would shine through once they grew older.

“What happened next?” An Lin asked.

Xiao Chou continued, “One day, I was picking fruit at a mountain when a black panther mutant beast attacked me. At that time, I was too young and was no match for the black panther, and I soon had grievous wounds inflicted upon me. Just when I thought I was going to be eaten by the black panther, a white figure suddenly appeared!”

An Lin’s expression stirred slightly. He knew that the female protagonist of the story was about to make her appearance.

A reminiscent expression appeared on Xiao Chou’s face. “She was so beautiful and holy. She had six pristine, white tails and eyes as bright as stars, and she swallowed the black panther whole.”

An Lin: “…”

Why did that last part not match with the image he had in mind?

An Lin forced himself to focus his attention back on the story. “And then? How did you fall in love with each other?”

“Fall in love?” Xiao Chou blinked. “Why would I fall in love with her?”

An Lin: “In that case, why are you talking about her?”

A smile appeared on Xiao Chou’s face. “Because she is the mother of the little white fox that I love.”

An Lin’s mouth gaped open.

That… that was his f*cking mother-in-law?!

He had thought that this was a story of the beauty saving the beast, but it was instead a beauty saving her son-in-law?!

Why did this not match the image he had in mind?

“What happened after that?” An Lin had to calm his emotions once again before asking.

Xiao Chou continued, “The little white fox’s mother, Bai Muyu, took me to her home in order to tend to my injuries, and she also asked me if I had seen a blue ice flower that was burning with flames.

“The reason she had appeared there was to find that peculiar blue ice flower. I didn’t know anything about it, and as I was recovering from my injuries, I became friends with the little white fox, Bai Yao.

“Bai Yao was very curious about everything in the Myriad Mountain Domain, and she was constantly asking me questions. She was the daughter of my savior, so I was quite happy to tell her everything she wanted to know.

“Perhaps that was when my fate became intertwined with hers.

“She was very clever and kind, and I would often pick fruits with her in the forests. Whenever she found some fruits, she would always give half to me, and she was stronger than me, so she would protect me whenever we encountered wild beasts.

“I swore an oath then, that when I grew up and became stronger, I would protect her.”

Xiao Chou sighed with emotion as he looked up at the starry night sky. He felt as if he could still see her face in the sky.

An Lin smacked his lips. “Sounds like you two were meant to be.”

His interest had been piqued, and he was quite curious about how Bai Yao and Xiao Chou had fallen in love with one another, as well as what they had been through to make Xiao Chou so sad.

“After that,” Xiao Chou heaved a long sigh and continued, “her mother found the flaming blue ice flower, and she departed from the Myriad Mountain Domain with Bai Yao. That was the last time I ever saw her…”

An Lin’s eyes widened. “What… Did you miss some details? Is that it?”

“That’s right. That’s roughly how things went.” Xiao Chou nodded as an ugly smile appeared on his face. “How about it? Wasn’t that an extremely pure and touching love story?”

An Lin: “…”

Pure? Touching? Was that a f*cking love story you just told?

That was a completely pointless story, for God’s sake!

Why did this not match the image he had in mind?

Even though An Lin was grumbling furiously in his heart, he still adopted a gentle expression as he spoke with a soft voice, “Hmm… So you and Bai Yao fell in love with one another? Did you do anything to help them find the flaming blue ice flower? Did you do something special with her to take your relationship to the next level? How did you verify each other’s love?”

A disconsolate expression appeared on Xiao Chou’s face. “The flaming blue ice flower was clearly no ordinary object. How was I supposed to help in finding such a special object?”

An Lin nodded upon hearing this. This was the most realistic development. After all, not everyone’s life was riddled with opportunities like his own.

“My love with Bai Yao was the simplest and purest type of relationship. As for how we established our relationship, she gave me a handful of her fox hair before she left, and I gave her a handful of my monkey hair…

“With the hair that we had exchanged, we would be able to detect one another’s presence as long as we are within a radius of five kilometers from each other. Doesn’t that count as tokens of our love for each other? Our love was so subdued, and we fought our feelings for one another until it was all too late.”

Tears fell from Xiao Chou’s bulb-like eyes.

An Lin drew a sharp intake of breath. This was a subdued love? What the hell was Xiao Chou thinking?

Was there even love there at all? It didn’t look like it!

Wasn’t Xiao Chou just inventing everything in his head?

Maybe the little white fox only saw him as a good friend?

An Lin was feeling a little sympathetic toward Xiao Chou. Never would he have thought that Xiao Chou was such a delusional monkey. To be honest, he should’ve discovered this earlier. After all, Xiao Chou seemed to have invented many things in his head back when he had first encountered Xiao Chou and taken him as a beast pet.

It could be said that Xiao Chou was a very sensitive monkey.

An Lin didn’t dare to visualize Xiao Chou’s love story anymore.

He felt like none of his visualizations had been accurate.

He was curious about the outcome of this story. “What happened then? Did anything happen between you two?”

Xiao Chou: “After that, Bai Yao went back to her home in the Creation Realm, and I haven’t seen her since.”

An Lin: “…”

So nothing ever happened between them?

And why couldn’t Xiao Chou just forget her and find a good female monkey? Why did he have to fixate himself on this fox?

Xiao Chou continued, “I became an elder of the Four Nine Immortal Sect, and as the Four Nine Immortal Sect grew more renowned, more and more people began to hear about me, including Bai Yao.”

An Lin’s eyes lit up. Was she finally moved by how successful Xiao Chou was and was willing to give him a chance?

“What happened next?”

“After that, Bai Yao sent me a letter, saying that she was going to marry the black fox prince of the Fox Tribe, and she was hoping that I could attend her wedding…” Tears fell from Xiao Chou’s eyes again as he spoke.

An Lin’s mouth gaped open.

What the f*ck… Why was everything completely different from how he had envisioned it to be?!

However, it made sense when one thought about it. Xiao Chou’s first love was getting married to someone else, so it made sense for him to be sad.

However, An Lin didn’t think it was worth it.

What was the point of crying over the white fox when she might have never even seen him as a love interest?

However, he couldn’t say this to Xiao Chou.

Xiao Chou most likely wouldn’t believe him anyway. Even if he did believe An Lin, he would probably just be sadder. Wouldn’t it be more of a psychological blow to realize the fact that you were a stupid c*nt who loved someone who had never even loved you?

“It’s alright, Xiao Chou, you may have lost a fox, but you have an entire forest!” An Lin offered words of consolation.

“But I don’t like forests!” Xiao Chou retorted firmly.

An Lin: “…”

“I’ve already decided to go to the Creation Realm tomorrow to attend Bai Yao’s wedding!” Xiao Chou took a deep breath as a determined expression appeared on his face.

An Lin faltered for a moment before nodding his head with difficulty. “That’s not a bad idea. Go give them your blessings and say goodbye to your past. Only then can you look toward the future.”

“Who said I was going to give them my blessings? Bai Yao must have been forced into the wedding! I’m going to go and save her!” Battle intent surged from Xiao Chou’s body as he abruptly stood up.

An Lin: “…”