I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations  Editor: Henyee Translations

If any other immortal heard what An Lin was saying, they would all be itching for a chance to beat him up!

Immortals could work their whole lives and not earn that much money, but this guy was saying that six million spirit stones a month was a lackluster result? He deserved to be pummeled for that logic!

However, the cultivating world was actually identical to the mortal world in that this was a place where wealth allocation was extremely skewed. The resources owned by first-rate mighty figures and normal cultivators were on completely different levels.

His target of a hundred million spirit stone appeared to be impossible to achieve in a normal person’s eyes, but this was really just a small target for him! He was just being honest, so why would his words incur outrage?

At the same time, An Lin had only earned six million spirit stones in a month, and he felt like he was an absolute failure. At this rate, he was not going to be able to complete his target of a hundred million in a year.

The popularity of his new Chef God title was slowly dwindling, so his profits might even decline from month to month from here onward.

What could he do?

An Lin was struck by a sense of urgency. However, earning quick money required opportunities. He was unable to think of a way to earn more money for now.

Could he… commit murder and robbery? This was the fastest wealth-accumulation tactic known to An Lin at this point in time.

But there was a vital flaw in this, in that he had no enemies!

He thought to himself for a moment before contacting Liu Qianhuan via voice transmission talisman.

“Yo, what’s up, An Lin?” Liu Qianhuan’s cheerful voice soon sounded from the other side of the line.

“Ahem, I just wanted to see how sect was developing. Are there any antagonistic sects that have picked fights with us?” An Lin asked with an eager expression.

“Tsk tsk tsk, our Four Nine Immortal Sect is filled with mighty figures and is renowned across the entire continent for being a sect blessed by the heavens. We’re not even afraid of the Heavenly Sword Sect! Who would try and pick fights with us? Such stupid c*nts couldn’t possibly exist in this world!”

“Then have you heard of any powerful evil sects rearing their heads lately?”

“Haven’t you heard? The Heavenly Court is currently in the process of cleaning up the entire Kingdom of the Nine States. There are one or two small sects that have made recent appearances on the continent, but all of the large evil sects are hiding away. Some of them have even sent their disciples abroad to do good deeds as a gesture of repentance in the hope of being spared in this crackdown. In any case, the Kingdom of the Nine States is a land of peace and serenity for now!”

An Lin looked up at the sky and heaved a forlorn sigh.

Was it this hard just to find an antagonist nowadays?

He had no choice but to resort to cooking for money.

In reality, cooking for money had an unexpected perk, and that was that it could help him complete his system mission!

That’s right, God of War Heaven Blasting Cannon mission had seen some progress.

There had been some progress made in the part of the mission that involved getting ten supreme beings at the Return to Void Stage or above to like him. According to brainwaves and divine sense waves, as well as the system’s deductions, he had now more than fulfilled this condition, with people on this list including but not restricted to Yi Xi, Lin Junjun, Yan Hua, Xiao Ze, Tina, the Jade Bone Immortal Butterfly, Dongfang Zhuangshi, Celestial Maiden He, Celestial Maiden Ying Cao, Tai Yi The Enlightened…

That’s right, many foodie Return to Void Stage mighty figures had grown to love him for his cooking skills.

Perhaps this was what they meant when they said a way to a person’s heart was through their stomach?

To complete this mission, all he had to do was fill the quota of Return to Void Stage mighty figures that abhorred him.

An Lin didn’t want to attract any hatred for the moment, so he decided to set this aside for now and let fate determined when the opportunity would arise.

When the time arrived, the mission would naturally be completed.

Days passed one after another.

Before he knew it, it was time for the yearly free-for-all battle again.

Thinking back, every time a free-for-all battle took place, the system would assign him a mission.

The Chaotic Alloy Brick and the Chaotic Frying Pan were both rewards that he won from the lottery tickets obtained from completing the missions.

These two treasures appeared to be useless, but they were actually immensely useful and probably the two tools that An Lin used the most on a daily basis.

This time was no exception either as An Lin’s system instantly lit up upon his entry into the Forest of One-Thousand Peaks.

His entire body trembled when he saw the mission that had been assigned.

[Detected that host has entered the Forest of One-Thousand Peaks. Assigning mission:

[Secure the number one position during this free-for-all battle and be crowned as number one on the Immortal Rankings Board.]

An Lin was ecstatic upon seeing this. This mission was a piece of cake for him!

However, he was dumbstruck upon seeing the mission reward on offer.

[Mission Success: Host will be rewarded with two super delicious lollipops.

[Mission Failure: The lollipop between the host’s legs will disappear for a hundred years.]

An Lin: “…”

F*ck off with your lollipop!!!

And what was this about making the lollipop between the host’s legs disappear? Did this system misinterpret what a f*cking lollipop meant?!

An Lin was extremely enraged by this. The system’s reward and punishment were completely skewed in terms of their respective magnitudes! He was going to report the system!

Wait… What if the rewards were actually equivalent in magnitude…

His eyes widened as a thought suddenly occurred to him, which then sent a shiver running down his spine.

What if all of the lollipops the system was referring to were the same thing? Didn’t that mean… He was going to have three lollipops?!

“This…” An Lin drew a sharp intake of breath before abruptly shaking his head. “Impossible! That’s completely impossible! There’s no chance of something like that happening!”

The two lollipops were definitely different concepts!

He rid himself of this train of thought and began to focus his attention on this edition of the free-for-all battle.

“Last year, I was forced to throw the entire free-for-all battle because of that accursed mission, earning me the titles of Turtle An!”

An Lin raised his head as a vicious smile appeared on his face. “Now then, let me show you what true despair looks like!”

He had already decided to crush all the other students with his absolute strength. It was time for him to rid himself of shameful titles like Turtle An.

An Lin didn’t fly into the air atop his brick. Instead, he took a single step forward, and his monstrous divine sense instantly engulfed an area of five kilometers in radius. Over a hundred students hadn’t even encountered any enemies yet, but they had already been found by An Lin.

That’s right, with his terrifying divine sense, he could easily detect everything that was going on within a radius of five kilometers from him.

“There are a hundred and twenty-six of my adorable fellow students around. Are you all ready?”

A faint smile appeared on An Lin’s face as he snapped his fingers.

Boom!

Terrifying energy fluctuations erupted out in a radius of five kilometers around him.

All the students’ expressions shifted drastically as they sensed this suffocating aura.

At the same time, a familiar, yet unfamiliar voice suddenly sounded.

“Fourth Year, First Class, An Lin. Please enlighten me!”

The expressions on all the hundred and twenty-six students shifted drastically yet again, immediately following which a hologram of An Lin appeared before each and every one of them. These holograms appeared to be projections of his energy.

An Lin was the number one legend of the school! Never would they have thought that the first enemy they would encounter would be such a terrifying one! How were they supposed to stand up against this?

All these self-proclaimed prodigies were on the verge of sh*tting themselves.

Among them, there was a woman in a pink robe with a hint of bewitching seduction in her dignified features. She had her hair tied back with a pink hairband, and she tried to calm her emotions before pleading in a seductive voice, “Senior Student An Lin, I am Qiu Luotao from Third Year, Fifth Class. I have cultivated to the ninth-stage Dao Body after much difficulty, and my goal is to make it into the top one hundred on the Immortal Rankings Board. If you could spare me here, I would be infinitely grateful to you!”

“I can give you a hundred-meter head start,” An Lin’s reply was completely emotionless.

Her features paled upon hearing this, and she gritted her teeth as she fled into the distance.

Many of the students within a radius of five kilometers made the same decision.

Some students chose to fight, others chose to plead, while the rest chose to run.

An Lin counted three seconds in his heart before snapping his fingers again.

Boom!

Bolts of blue lightning fell from the sky, striking all one hundred and twenty-six of the students below with unerring accuracy!

Cries of anguish erupted into the clouds.

Above the clouds, the teacher responsible for this area, Teacher Zhi Hu, almost fell off his spirit tool.

He immediately swore to himself. “What the f*ck?! Is that even allowed?!”