I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations  Editor: Henyee Translations

Da Bai immediately made his way over to them with his head held high.

“Hey, rabbit, if you’re going to live here, then you’re going to have to follow the rules here. You can only rank number five in the beast pet hierarchy. I’m ranked second, so you have to call me Big Brother Bai, do you understand?” Da Bai looked at Yue Tu with a sly smirk.

A flash of coldness appeared in Yue Tu’s ruby-like eyes before her jade pestle appeared in her hand, which she laid onto her shoulder. “Hehe, do you think you’ve got what it takes to place ahead of me?”

“Newcomer, there’s no Chang’e to protect you here. Surrender or I’ll give you a demonstration of how powerful Big Brother Bai is! Woof!” Da Bai stepped up to the plate and donned his Chaotic Sky-Crushing Claws. He slashed his claws through the air, and a series of saber projections whistled through the air toward her.

“Demonstrate your power? I’m going to beat you into a disabled dog!” Yue Tu wielded her jade pestle and leaped toward Da Bai.

“Know your place, you cocky rabbit! Woof woof!” Da Bai barked with rage and also lunged toward Yue Tu.

An Lin stood off to the side as a neutral spectator. He really couldn’t be bothered mediating a fight like this.

Thus, an intense battle commenced.

Thump thump thump… bang bang bang… clatter clatter clatter… puff puff puff…

…

The battle concluded.

Da Bai was sprawled out on the ground, bruised and battered. Yue Tu sat on Da Bai’s stomach and laughed triumphant as she waved her jade pestle around. “Useless dog, how dare you to provoke me? Know your place!”

Never did Da Bai think he would be ridden by a rabbit one day. A sense of humiliation welled up in his heart, but his rage instantly melted away at the sight of the menacing jade pestle. “Alright, Big Sister Tu, I concede. You can rank ahead of me as Big Brother An’s top beast pet…”

“Good boy.” Yue Tu nodded in satisfaction and spared Da Bai from any more humiliation.

However, Yue Tu suddenly raised her furry ears a few seconds later. “Wait! When did I become Idiot An’s beast pet? My god, what was I so happy about!?”

“Hehe, it’s your honor to become my beast pet.” An Lin grabbed Yue Tu by the ears and plucked her off the ground.

He then discovered that Yue Tu really was f*cking heavy. It was no wonder that Chang’e was determined to send her away to lose weight.

“How dare you treat me like this!” Yue Tu yelled in rage.

She raised her jade pestle and prepared to strike down on An Lin’s head. But right at this moment, she saw An Lin bring out the letter Chang’e had written to him and waved it in front of Yue Tu’s face. A mysterious ripple radiated outward, and she immediately relinquished all resistance.

An Lin placed Yue Tu back down with a satisfied smirk. “I’m your supervisor from now on, so you have to listen to everything I say. You’ve come here after Xiao Hong, Da Bai, and Xiao Chou, so you can only rank number five. Furthermore, during your time here, you have to follow the rules and learn respect as well as consideration for others, so that means no bullying Da Bai, understood?!”

Yue Tu’s long ears drooped as a resigned expression appeared on her face. “Understood…”

She could ignore anyone else in this world, but she had to obey Chang’e’s instructions. Otherwise, all the delicious foods at the Moon Palace would be nothing but a distant dream to her.

“Don’t be sad, little sister, Big Brother Bai will look after you. Woof!” Da Bai immediately sidled up to Yue Tu with a sly smile after this turn of events.

Yue Tu raised the jade pestle in her hand again, and Da Bai instantly slunk away in fear.

“Alright, let’s get down to business. How heavy are you right now, Xiao Yue?” An Lin asked.

Yue Tu pursed her lips and humphed coldly. “Don’t you know it’s very rude to ask a girl for her body weight?”

An Lin’s lips twitched slightly. “But you’re a rabbit, and I have to supervise your weight loss!”

Yue Tu stowed her jade pestle back into her storage ring before bringing out a white disc. She placed the white disc onto the ground before hopping on.

A brilliant light flashed from the disc and displayed the number: 27.379

“You have to lose over two kilograms in a month, can we use a liposuction immortal spell?”

An Lin suddenly felt like the road ahead was going to be extremely difficult.

Yue Tu sneered with a disdainful expression. “I’m a mythological beast of the moon! Liposuction spell technique? Not even the Palace Leader was able to use one on me!”

An Lin was not deterred and immediately changed tactics. “Then what plan do you have?”

“I don’t have a plan. This is a super-difficult predicament… I can only wait for the Palace Leader to change her mind and accept me for the fat rabbit I am so I can return to her side.” A dejected expression appeared on Yue Tu’s face as she looked out at the darkening sky with immense sadness.

An Lin found this scene to be quite funny.

Rabbit is discarded by Chang’e for being overweight, that doesn’t sound like a bad headline.

“Alright, let me devise a weight-loss plan. Hmm, how about, eating only one carrot, coupled with six hours of exercise a day?” An Lin proposed with a smile.

Yue Tu looked at him as if she was looking at a retard. “If I abide by your weight-loss plan, it would be a stretch to expect me to lose even fifty grams of weight.”

An Lin took a deep breath. “Then how about eating nothing for a month and doing twenty-four hours of exercise a day?”

Yue Tu immediately flared up in rage. “Idiot An! That’s rabbit abuse! Besides, even if I did that, I still wouldn’t even be able to lose two hundred and fifty grams of weight!!”

“So it’s that hard for you to lose weight? As expected of a mythological beast of the moon…” An astonished expression appeared on An Lin’s face. It looked like normal weight-loss plans would be completely ineffective to Yue Tu, so he had to think of something else.

After pondering the issue for a while, he proposed a few more plans, all of which were rejected by Yue Tu.

In the end, he could only leave the issue and do something more meaningful. And the more meaningful thing was…

Eating mooncakes!

An Lin brought out a perfectly-round mooncake from his storage ring. It was only the size of a small bowl, but it glowed with a heavenly light under the moonlight.

“What a beautiful mooncake…” Xiao Hong transformed into a beautiful woman in a red dress and stood off to the side with bright eyes. This was the first time she had developed a strong interest in anything other than the sun.

Yue Tu licked her lips with a longing expression. “These mooncakes are imbued with the power of the moon and are made from a combination of osmanthus flowers as well as a series of exotic ingredients. Not only are these the most delicious mooncakes in the world, but they can also extend the consumer’s lifespan by a thousand years. Furthermore, consumption of the mooncake can strengthen the ability of the bones and meridians to gather vital energy as well as impart the power of the moon to the sea of vital energy. You’ve just progressed to Soul Formation Stage; the mooncake will even help you completely consolidate your cultivation base!”

An Lin’s expression became completely vacant as he listened to Yue Tu rattle off all these benefits. He couldn’t help but sigh with emotion. “As expected of mooncakes made personally by Chang’e herself, these mooncakes are even more valuable than normal immortal pills!”

Yue Tu smiled triumphantly as if a compliment paid to her owner was also a compliment to her. “Of course!”

An Lin sliced the mooncake into five parts with an excited expression, revealing the filling within. The filling had the appearance of translucent jade, and the fragrance of osmanthus wafted through the air, entrancing everyone in the room.

“It smells so good… Just the smell alone is enough to place people in a trance…” An Lin narrowed his eyes with glee and appreciation.

Da Bai was already drooling all over the floor, and even Xiao Chou was fighting to swallow back saliva.

“Come on, you all get one slice each!” An Lin smiled to his beast pets.

“Big Brother An is the best, I love you to death, woof!” Da Bai pounced like a starving wolf and speared a piece of mooncake with its claws before placing it into his mouth.

He had just begun to chew on the mooncake when he suddenly collapsed to the ground and moaned as his whole body trembled. “So good… Big Brother An, it’s so good, so delicious, woof!”

An Lin’s face darkened, and he kicked the perverted dog to the side.

Xiao Chou also grabbed a piece and began to chew on it with relish as the light in his eyes grew brighter and brighter.

“Master has finally done a good deed for once!” Xiao Hong also picked up a piece of mooncake and placed it in her mouth with a gleeful expression.

Yue Tu still hadn’t made a move so An Lin turned to her. “Xiao Yue, you grab a piece as well!”

A hesitant expression appeared on Yue Tu’s face. “Er… This is the Palace Leader’s gift to you, am I allowed to eat it?”

An Lin didn’t expect the arrogant Yue Tu to be so polite, and he chuckled lightly. “You’re under my supervision now so of course you get a share in everything. Why else would I slice the mooncake into five portions?”

Yue Tu faltered slightly didn’t argue with him for once as she picked up a piece of mooncake with a pristine, white paw. “Then I’m digging in.”

An Lin picked up the final piece of mooncake and placed it into his own mouth.

An exquisite flavor instantly exploded forth within his mouth, causing his body to tremble with delight.

The power of the moon transformed into a warm flow which nurtured his body and consolidated his cultivation base. Part of the energy merged into his sea of vital energy, imparting the power of the moon upon his sea of vital energy, while the other part enveloped his consciousness, thereby imbuing his consciousness with a greater sense of substance!

An Lin felt like he had traveled back to the moon and was strolling through a sea of osmanthus flowers. Chang’e was smiling at him and Yue Tu was skipping around him…

All these sensations converged to form a single word in his mind:

Amazing!