I Found A Planet

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

Recently, Xing Hai Technologies had been frequently posting on its official Weibo using catchphrases meant to attract netizens' attention, such as "stunned stupid,""a product of a new era," and "guaranteed sales of 100 million units," etc. The company had sufficiently warmed up the audience by doing pre-launch promotions.

Hence, the launch event of the new product had attracted the attention of many. There were no empty seats in this stadium that could hold up to 30,000 people. It was filled to bursting. Hundreds of review organizations and related tech media came to attend the event as well. Some of the media journalists came prepared to laugh and ridicule. They wanted to see the company making a fool of itself and planned to do an expose. They had even prepared their articles' concepts with the intention of bad-mouthing Xing Hai Technologies. This was because they could not tolerate the various "dishonest" actions carried out by the company for the past six months!

"In September, after shares of Zhong Xin International dramatically rose by almost 30%, it suffered malicious short-selling by big organizations, causing shares to crash by 30%. Its market value returned to the initial value of 30 billion. However, Xing Hai Technologies refused to act as the buyback party. On the contrary, it successively increased its 1.2 billion worth of shareholdings. Through a series of maneuvers, its shareholding ratio was raised to 12%."

"Another mysterious project by Xing Hai Technologies was exposed in October. They've revealed some information on their official Weibo account. However, investigations were carried out by interested persons. It was found that the project which Xing Hai Technologies had invested more than five billion in is actually a learning machine… Pfft! Wasting five billion on learning machines? A rich company really can act as wilfully as they like!"

"Total sales volume of Wa-wah robot 1.1 exceeded six million units at the end of November. Although demand still existed for the robot, Xing Hai Technologies suddenly announced that it will stop production of Wa-wah 1.1. The market that it had nurtured into being not too long ago was suddenly faced with a large supply shortage. Thus, the scalpers struck gold yet again."

"In December, the shortage quantity of the smart cleaning robots had reached millions. Everywhere people were begging to buy one. There were no actions taken by Xing Hai Technologies. It seemed that they had no intentions of restarting production; on the contrary, they seemed to have given up on this segment of the market. At the same time, as many as eight companies in the country had announced that they've developed cleaning robots comparable to the Wa-wah 1.1."

"They are seeking to ruin themselves! They've been courting their ruin all this time!"

"In our estimation, this new company, with its abrupt rise, will only live for a maximum of two more years!"

"We will be witnessing a brainless and unthinking young man completely ruining himself in the shortest amount of time despite the lucky cards that he had been dealt!"

"For the next ten years, this young man will only be a joke that people remember from time to time!"

"But, we will not have sympathy. The advice that should be given had been given. However, some will survive by refraining from certain actions. We're here to enjoy a company's death."

These journalists that had been sent here by the various media companies had more or less judged that this launch event would end in failure. They would rather believe in ghosts than to believe that a company could still make a good product despite excessive engagement in dishonest activities!

…

At 8:00pm sharp, the opening music began to play.

The CEO of Xing Hai Technologies, Ling Jundong, walked up to the stage in a thick western suit. He wore an in-ear microphone and held a laser pointer. The launch event had officially begun. Wa-wah Robot 2.0 was launched with a bang!

…

"We've made improvements in several areas in the Wa-wah 2.0 so that it can achieve a more spotless state when cleaning the floor. For example, we've increased the rotational speed of the floating brush and employed brush heads with better quality materials. It can attain a cleanliness index of 99.99% for most cleaning scenarios. Wa-wah 2.0 has very nimble mechanical arms. With a definite ability to grasp objects, it can dispose of the rubbish in its trash container by itself. It can also pick up larger pieces of rubbish and throw it into the designated trash bin. After purchasing Wa-wah 2.0, humans have no need to pay any attention to the cleanliness of the floor besides dealing with the trash bin. We've most suitably termed it as the "floorboard terminator." A second crucial function has been added as well — protecting the family!"

Ling Jungdong paused to let the murmurs flutter through the crowd, then continued. "That's right, Wa-wah 2.0 will be the guardian angel of every family! It can monitor the situation at home in real time in order to prevent burglary and loss of valuable items. It can also report a fire emergency in time for first responders to get there. If there are elderly at home who are physically ill, the Wa-wah 2.0 can help measure their heart-rate and give a timely report about the state of their health. It can remind the children to pay more attention to their safety, such as not climbing onto the windowsills. An internal thermometer has been integrated into their internal components so that it can give a report as soon as possible when the children catch a cold and develop a fever. Wa-wah 2.0 will be the guardian angel of our families!"

Ling Jungdong smiled proudly. "The third function that we have added is the family and social interaction mode. Please treat Wa-wah as one of your family members. The fourth function is the environmental protection and public welfare mode! Does everyone still remember the 'Wa-wah Robot' advertisement videos? What was the mission that Wa-wah had to complete on Earth? That's right. It has to protect the environment; it has to protect Earth! This is Wa-wah's responsibility as well as Xing Hai Technologies' responsibility. If the user agrees to participate in activities to improve public welfare, Wa-wah will announce one 'I love protecting the environment' activity every week. This can include sweeping the surrounding housing estates, parks, and public facilities. It will direct its owner over to areas where it is unable to clean. For example, picking up rubbish in the under bushes or flowering shrubs. It will inform the owner of the different types of rubbish, explain the harm that it causes and indicate how to separate the different rubbish… It will lead the humans in contributing significant effort in environmental protection."

He continued, "In order to encourage people to love and protect the environment, Xing Hai Technologies has drawn up an environmental protection point accumulation system. Each time that the user participates in an 'I love protecting the environment' activity, a certain number of points will be rewarded. When 1,000 points have been accumulated, we will provide a maintenance and repair session free of charge, even if it is past the quality guarantee period. When the user has accumulated 10,000 points, we'll give him a whole new Wa-wah robot for free! Lastly, we've added a gaming mode. Via this mode, your Wa-wah can grow continuously and increase its battle power. You will also be able to make many like-minded friends. Please, bring your Wa-wahs out and participate in battles together!"

Ling Jundong's heart-stirring explanations, combined with the technicians' live demonstrations, was incredible. At times, the product introduction was occasionally intense, inspiring and exciting. At other times, it was accompanied by gentle and moving music.

A deafening rumble sounded. The entire stadium was shaken up! The audience was seething with excitement! Multitudes of voices could be heard shouting from the seats.

"I want to buy a Wa-wah robot like this!"

"This robot is too amazing! It's too perfect!"

"I don't want a cat or a dog. I only want Wa-wah!"

"I never thought that I could participate in environmental protection and public welfare service like this. It's a company with a conscience. I'm buying because of its conscience. The Wa-wah 2.0 is a must-buy!"

"It's f**king shocking. This is the upgraded version 2.0? Compared to the Wa-wah 1.1, this is one giant upgrade that's aiming for the stars. No more meaningless little upgrades that are barely squeezed out!"

"I'm done for. Wa-wah 1.1 was an early purchase! And Wa-wah 2.0 is so awesome that I don't even need a bicycle?!"

"Ruthless, Xing Hai Technologies, you're too ruthless! I've only bought the Wa-wah 1.1 a few days ago! And you're introducing this new toy? Are you trying to mess with my mind? Hmm, this is really attractive."

"Damn, this is really attractive. Forget it, I'll just buy another one!"

The moment Ling Jundong asked, "Everyone, do you want to buy?"

Tens of thousands of the live audience stood up together and shouted collectively, "Buy!" The enthusiasm of the audience was through the roof.

What about those media organizations that bad-mouthed Xing Hai Technologies? What were their thoughts on this event?

Awkward. Extremely awkward. They looked at one another speechlessly. With faces red from embarrassment, they realized that what they had predicted was totally off the mark. Unconsciously, they shed their moral high grounds. The new headline concepts that they came up with started like this:

"Without a doubt, Xing Hai Technologies remains the King of home cleaning robots."

"Pandering to the market? No, Xing Hai Technologies intends to change the world!"

"Remembering one's essential responsibility: How to make a product that shows a company's conscience and sense of responsibility."

"Making our lives more wonderful? Wa-wah 2.0 has achieved it."

"Should you buy Wa-wah 2.0? Of course you should, this is an essential product!"

And at this moment, the launch event had reached its most exciting and anticipated segment — announcing the price of Wa-wah 2.0.