I Am the God of Games

Panda Novel

‘Oh damn, not good’ was written on Angora’s face the moment he saw the carriage.

Even so, he was just one step behind and unable to escape.

Meanwhile, no one opened the door for the girl inside the carriage—Horan Faust, the Silver Eagle Duke and his retainers had all their attention seized by Joe’s richly rhythmic chest muscles jiggling. That being said, it was logical that they could not react immediately because not even they had seen behavior so crazy, while inside, the girl couldn’t bear sitting around awkwardly, and therefore opened the carriage on her own, lifted her skirt, and stepped out.

“Greetings, Uncle Horan.” The girl curtseyed at the Silver Eagle Duke while he finally recovered, before generously greeting Angora. “Long time no see, Angora.”

“Long time no see, Kinley,” Angora replied with a troubled look.

“Greetings, young lady of the Ainsworth family.” Horan smiled happily like a weird uncle. “It surprised me to learn that you were taken as an apprentice by the great alchemist. Even your grandfather would be proud.”

“It is merely misplaced kindness on my mentor’s part,” the girl replied very graciously.

That was when a handsome youth with blond curls slowly came out of the castle, bowing gentlemanly at the girl with an outstretched hand. “Kinley, you’re even more beautiful than the last time I saw you.”

As a matter of ceremony, the girl should be offering her hand for a kiss as a return of the youth’s greeting, but she seemed unable to see Cecil’s greeting and smiled like a flower instead. “You flatter me, Mister Faust.”

“Just Cecil is fine.” Angora’s eldest brother threw the most discreet of glances at Angora, before curling his lips in a sunny smile that would mesmerize the thousands of underaged girls in Tunaya.

“No, it’s very important to observe formalities.” The girl smiled in return even though she was refusing Cecil’s attempt to bridge the distance.

“Pfft…”

Joe, who was still jiggling his chest could not help sniggering.

Cecil turned to Joe but did not show much expression, while holding his belittling and contempt just beneath his eyes.

“Who are you?” he asked Joe high-and-mightily.

“Just a retainer, sir,” Joe answered cheerfully.

“And what are you before that?”

“An ordinary villager, sir.” Again, Joe answered cheerfully.

“Third Brother, I suggest you pick better retainers because you are a part of the Faust family.” Cecil spoke with the superiority complex of a victor. “Don’t pick anyone you could find, or you’ll embarrass us all.”

“Okay,” Angora replied.

That left Cecil feeling as if he was force-fed feces.

He could have pulled rank as the heir of the Faust family and scolded Angora if Angora had defended himself. Should Angora behave like a yes-man, Cecil would then keep the conversation flowing along to rampantly mock him, boosting his image in Kinley’s mind.

And yet, Angora reacted neutrally. Even though Cecil wanted to reprimand him, Angora had clearly agreed to his suggestion, and even if Cecil wanted to mock him it was no different from raising a strawman—aside from wasting strength, it would make him look silly.

Hence, he kept gunning for the chest-jiggling Joe.

“Could you stop jiggling?! This is the age of divine skills and magic, not muscles!” He mocked Joe with an angry glare. “If you have so much strength, could you move that statue near the fountain?

Joe stopped jiggling his chest then and followed Cecil’s gaze. There were four stone statues of magical beasts placed around the fountains, and the one Cecil was pointing at was a creature known as the Cherry Baboon—a remarkably robust and macho beast that could easily lift a drake over its own head despite how adorable its name was. That was also how it was often adopted as a totem and worshipped by many warriors.

“Okay.”

Joe replied, imitating Angora.

Then, without even sparing Cecil a glance, he headed straight to the statue as if prepared to move it.

The corners of Cecil’s lips were curled in a disdainful smile despite his anger. He has done it: that peasant who knew not a hint of manners was going to bite the dust, and he could embarrass Angora with that!

After all the four statues were all carved out of different materials, with the Cherry Baboon’s built with an especially heavy stone. While it didn’t look large, its weight was around eight tons, far beyond the weight of the other three statues put together! No human would have the strength to move it save for the God of War’s believers who had awakened their qi or strength-type divine skills!

Kinley had wanted to stop Joe, but held back her worry and waited silently when she saw that Angora not reacting, and looked like he was instead expecting something.

Hence, everyone watched as Joe eagerly walked up to the statue, picked up and launched it for a suplex.

The head of the eight-ton statue was stiffly smashed into the marble floor tiling, with half it leaning diagonally out of the surface like a carrot.

And then there was silence.

“H-how is that possible…” Cecil was gaping at the sight.

Kinley’s eyes sparkled but she wasn’t looking at Joe, and instead at Angora who had a look as if ‘all had gone according to Keikaku¹‘.

At the same time, the players who had been hiding inside the carriage could not help poking their heads out to see what was happening.

It was easy to understand what happened from their perspective too: There were huge yellow words above the statue that read ‘Ancient Golem Guard’, with a huge chunk of its HP bar knocked off.

With a monster’s name and a HP Bar but neither divinity or resistances, Joe would have suplexed a hundred-ton Blue Whale, much less an eight-ton African Elephant!

If not for Angora calling for the players to calm themselves over the forums, they would have swarmed out like bees to beat those four statues to death.

“Alright. It’s not good getting a cold out here—let’s talk inside the castle.” Horan quickly broke up the stiff atmosphere upon seeing his eldest son getting deflated. “I have prepared the north’s finest honey grape wine. By the way, Angora, have your retainer rest in one of the rooms.”

Thus, the players’ first meeting with the uncrowned king that was the Silver Eagle Duke ended on a rather sour note.

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