I Am the God of Games

To understand what happened, let’s rewind time a little.

Back when Miller had been bathing in the hot springs with the monkeys, an unexpected guest had arrived at Xi Wei’s divine kingdom.

“Hey, I’ve come to visit you….” The lion god’s expression froze on his face as his words cut off, seeing Xi Wei who was in the midst of binding the corpse of the Barren Giant up with his tentacles in a position that could only be described as indecent.

“Wait, no, I can explain!” Xi Wei immediately regretted his decision to bind the Barren Giant in an artistic tortoise shell shibari[1] on a whim.

“Did you steal this Barren Giant from the Lord of the Peaks for… these purposes?” If he were only a child that was a couple hundred years old, he would have probably run away from Xi Wei’s divine kingdom immediately, but he was already a thousand-year-old deity. In all his years, he had already learned not to be surprised by other deities’ special interests, and had even seen a giant cyclops in with its legs spread apart in an ‘M’ position, so he only coughed softly and continued, “I never knew you were into this sort of thing…You better be careful of the Earth Church in the future.”

“This was given by my… Forget it, what are you here for?” Xi Wei wanted to explain himself, but he figured that it would be worsening his situation for himself. “Are any deities picking a fight? Old Pot[2] lemme tell you, whether if it’s the Skull God or the Ocean God, they both aren’t good gods, so never believe in anything they tell you! Let’s all team up and kill them to split their divinity between us!”

“Stop messing around. Putting aside that weakling, just the Ocean God is enough to kill all of us combined without breaking a sweat!” The lion god rolled his eyes exasperatedly, and ignored Xi Wei’s exclamations of, “Wow, is the Invisible Pantheon so weak?” before continuing, “Yes, I really have something to ask of you this time around…If it’s possible, I would hope that you have your believers help me out too.”

Upon seeing Aslan’s serious expression, Xi Wei was quite surprised, and knew that it wasn’t good to joke around anymore, so he started to listen to the lion god seriously too.

“Starting from almost half a month ago, many of Luna’s believers were killed gruesomely, and even though her believers tried to apprehend the culprit, many of them were killed instead… According to their state of death, I believe the killer was…. F*ck, can you put that big thing down? I can’t talk with a straight face with that thing floating over my head!”

“Sorry, sorry.”

Xi Wei cooperatively let go of the Barren Giant’s corpse, dropping it onto the ground, making Aslan nod in satisfaction.

“Where was I?”

“Something about a big thing floating above your head.”

“Ah yes, that big thing, how interesting…No! You better stop joking around, I’m being serious here!”

“Alright, alright.”

Xi Wei patted his spherical body in reassurance, and he started to glow somewhat becoming brighter as if he wanted to show how serious he was.

“Don’t get scared by what I’m going to say,” the lion continued after seeing Xi Wei’s reaction.

“Of course, I’m a deity after all, I won’t get scared!” Xi Wei replied without any hesitation.

Once he heard so, he continued with a solemn tone, “After we investigated this matter, we think that…”

“Investigate? Can’t you guys just use Divine Eye to see who’s behind this?”

“It’s exactly because we can’t see who it is only by using Divine Eye that we need to investigate…In conclusion, we think that the culprit is a Tsujigiri.”

“What’s a Tsujigiri?”

“A Tsujigiri is a non-believer that was possessed by a Demonic Roe.”

“Demonic Roe?”

Xi Wei was curious upon hearing this new term that he was sure wasn’t in the God of Games’ Divine Records, nor recorded in the divinity of the Aquatic Lord.

“You know about the War of Demons and Gods yes? You know, the one that broke out around about a thousand years ago.” Aslan continued in an animated tone, “I joined that battle too, you know! When I was surrounded by enemy deities, I killed them all without breaking a sweat….”

“Pfft.”

“What are you laughing for?” The lion god frowned and asked.

“I thought of something that made me happy,” Xi Wei replied seriously.[3]

“What sort of thing?”

“That my believers sacrificed such a big Barren Giant for me…”

“Anyway, the most common way for those demonic deities to spread their influence in the mortal realm is through Demonic Roe.” Aslan looked at Xi Wei with a dubious expression before continuing his explanation. “These things usually attach on weapons or potions, and can bring its user unimaginable power, but in exchange, it slowly eats away at the user’s sanity as they become overcome with power that doesn’t belong to them. In the process, the Demonic Roe will destroy the user’s psyche and claim them as their own, turning them into demons.”

“Are demons created in such a way?” Xi Wei was a little confused. “I thought those were creatures from hell…”

“Those are called devils, there’s a big difference!” At this point, Aslan smacked the ground with his paw, his tone quite irritated, “Can you stop flickering? You’ve been blinking like a broken light bulb ever since I came in, my eyes are almost going to go blind!”

“Ah, sorry. So in conclusion, we just have to kill off that thing called a Tsujigiri?” Xi Wei apologized halfheartedly, and then asked in a curious tone, “But if that was all it was, you wouldn’t have to come to me like this, no?”

Aslan had left Xi Wei a deific communication device before, and he didn’t have any need to come seek his help personally if it weren’t urgent.

“The problem with that, is that even my believers were killed in the same way, I found out through their prayers that this Tsujigiri is extremely powerful…” Aslan told Xi Wei with a serious expression, “In the worst-case scenario, this Tsujigiri has probably completely demonified, and according to how they say it in the mortal realm, he is on the cusp of becoming a legendary warrior that can even fight with deities!”

To this, even the heartless sphere of a god that was listening in couldn’t help but gulp slightly.

‘Dang… He really sounds strong.’

“In conclusion, this Tsujigiri seems to be heading in the direction where you followers are, quickly have them take precautions and track his whereabouts, but remember to tell them not to engage in battle with him.”

Xi Wei agreed with what Aslan said, because the Tsujigiri was too strong, and even if the players all battled him at once, they would probably not even be strong enough to scratch him an enemy that was almost legendary level.

“So how do we deal with this demon?” Xi Wei asked.

The lion god stood up straight, his mane fluttering in the wind and making him look majestic and holy. “When the time comes, I will descend to the mortal realm and deal with him myself.”

[1] if you haven’t realized, it’s Japanese rope b*ndage

[2] Xi Wei calls him this because the term 背黑锅 or ‘to carry a black pot’ means to have someone be a scapegoat for something

[3] This entire conversation is a reference to the movie The Mermaid by Stephen Chow.