How to Raise Your Regressor

"Nice."

To think a day would come when I wouldn't be able to blame a wanker for overreacting because what I achieved was just that outrageous.

Sed.

"It's not just 'Nice'."

"Yes, yes, I know, don't worry."

"…You don't seem that excited, though," Neia raised an eyebrow.

The fuck is this woman talking about?

Why would I be excited about creating something when I've already done it over a million times?

Making a potion like Elixir is just another chore to me.

There's no excitement or feeling of satisfaction about it; I just made it and used it without thinking too much about it.

That's all there is to it.

"It's my face. I'm just unable to express excitement like normal people do," I lied

"Bullshit," but Neia didn't buy it.

Ah, right, my face is supposed to be a bit too expressive, to the point that these guys pull pranks on me just to laugh at them.

They never care about my feelings.

Samur Sad Eckart.

"Whatever."

I have no interest in having a discussion over how much excitement I should feel over a discovery that I made.

Like, okay, I get it the Elixir has finally given you native species a chance to fight back against the Aggressors, but that's no excuse to command me on how I should live my life.

It's my body, and I'll be the one to decide whether I feel excitement or how I express it.

"Could it be…" Neia suddenly scowled a bit.

"Hmm?"

"Could the reason you don't think much of your accomplishment be that it was simply too easy for you?"

"What?"

Huh, I wasn't aware that our domestic Dragon was an Esper.

"Right, how did you even develop an Elixir so quickly?" She looked at me suspiciously. "Until now, Elixir has been a rare drop from 4 and 5-star dungeons."

"Is that so?"

"Mmhmm. Elixirs are rare, but they are so useful that their artificial development is an area of research on which this world's best scholars and researchers have been working for their entire lives."

"I see."

"And yet you developed it within a few days? Just how is that possible?"

"Well, it is what it is."

Hmm, is this wanker perhaps doubting the validity of words?

Does she suspect that I lied about my success in creating an Elixir?

If yes, then that's just smart decision making and critical thinking on her part, which I respect.

But yea, how dare she doubt MY, a dodgy 12-year-old child's, words?

…

That sounds just like what a haughty child who doesn't know any better would say.

Wow.

"Now I see why the discovery of an Elixir doesn't mean much to you," Neia scoffed. "It's because you didn't have to spend any effort. Had you dedicated your entire life to Elixirs and then succeeded, you probably would have gone insane with happiness."

"That was quite insightful of you."

Huh, who would have thought that Neia of all people would arrive at an actually logical conclusion.

Her character development is just too good. I'm proud of her.

This is enough to bring tears to a man's eyes.

"Sniff." I wiped such a tear from the corner of my eye.

"Are… are you crying?" Neia's eyes widened.

"Ah, I'm sorry. Seeing your progress just got me emotional."

"My progress?"

"Not long ago, you were prone to losing yourself in your emotions and beating the shit out of cripples. But now, not only can you keep your emotions in check, you can also take a step back and look at the situation objectively."

"…"

"You've come far, Neia. I'm proud of you," I wiped another tear.

"…Is this some elaborate ploy for getting back at me?"

"Oh my, how could you even think that of me?" With my feelings hurt, I took a step back. "Even though I just praised you. Your words have hurt me, Neia."

"…"

"Sniff," I wiped some more tears.

Huh, if this goes on, I'll become dehydrated from shedding so many tears.

"Whatever," she sighed.

"Okay."

"Just tell me how you made an Elixir," her eyes were twinkling with excitement.

How can her mood change at the drop of a hat?

As I thought, this woman is mentally unstable.

"Actually, it was an accident."

"Yeah, right."

"No, no, seriously. I was experimenting with your blood last night when I suddenly had an epiphany. I immediately acted on it and tried out a few things, and…"

"And?"

"And the rest is history."

"…" She frowned and stared at me.

"…" I looked back at her.

Wait, isn't this hot and steamy premarital eye contact.

Oh my God, I have turned into a sinner.

"Is that it?" She asked, her tone a bit sceptical.

"Uh-huh."

"Seriously?"

"Did you really expect me, a 12-year-old child, to successfully create something that people who have dedicated their entire lives to couldn't?"

"I wouldn't put it past you."

Woah.

Finally, someone who's aware of what I'm capable of.

"Well, sorry to say this, but that was an accident."

"Oh… wait!" Her eyes dropped then suddenly widened.

"Hmm?"

"Doesn't that mean that was the only Elixir you made?"

"Yes."

"And you used it back in the forest?"

"Yup."

"Oh my God…"

Neia.exe has stopped working.

"Well, in case you're lamenting the fact that the Elixir I accidentally created was used up, thus rendering us unable to study it and find a way to replicate it, then you don't need to worry."

"…What?"

"I have already figured out a way to have that accident again."

Hmm, wait, an accident is called such because it's involuntary.

If I deliberately have an accident, that would be just like having a planned baby I mean it would be a deliberate action.

"Seriously?"

"I'm the R&D Head, Neia. Of course, I would note down the entire process. I just need to repeat the steps I performed when I had that epiphany, and I'll have the Elixir at hand."

"Nice!" Her eyes lit up as she exclaimed. "Wait, that means-"

"That even if by accident, I've found a way to create Elixirs in a laboratory."

"Which-"

"Which means that with my contribution, the native species of this world have finally gained an edge in the fight against the Aggressors."

"Let me speak!"

"No."

"What an asshole." Neia grumbled, but couldn't hide her grin.

I guess an Elixir really is a big deal.

"However, I need you to keep this a secret for now."

"What? Why!?"

"There are several reasons. If word got out that the R&D Head of the New Dawn Guild was able to create a motherfucking Elixir-"

"Language."

"Able to create a motherf*cking Elixir, it would create a huge commotion. Everyone would try to get their hands on the one who made it. Nobles would try to bribe me to get their hands on an Elixir, the other Guilds would try their best to recruit me, while Underground organisations might try to kidnap me to use me for their own gains."

"Oh," her excitement quickly vanished.

"As you can imagine, that would be a huge pain in the ass."

"Yeah… what do you want to do then?"

"We'll have a meeting."

"With whom?"

"With all of the Key Members on our side."